All posts in the Love category


Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo

I get it.

Mom had you be her confidant

Now it gets confusing.

What is family, what does family look like?

What ARE boundaries?

What does it mean to have boundaries?

Who should I have s*x with, be naked with? Open my soul to?

Who is worthy of me, who deserves me? How much do they get to have of me?

You may want to put everything inside of you that moves. It doesn’t matter. Having little authority over your body, mind, heart growing up, it can be hard to find authority over yourself now.

Everything floods into everything. It’s hard to tell who is:


S*x permeates EVERYTHING. Inappropriate boundaries feels NORMAL, healthy, even s*xy.

Siblings being attracted to siblings. Not sure of how to handle the attraction, therefore acting out at each other for attention.

Who deserves your allegiance? Who does not?

When all lines were crossed.

Father looked at you and your needs/feelings/body/health of your own, no longer existed.

He made you his:

punching bag
angel (the rare times you impressed him.)

Shouting in your face. Making mom seem like a welcome escape.

His love was terrifying.

Therefore you wonder: If I am terrified, then am I in love? If I am lost in a confusing web of unclear needs, is that love?

If the walls keep changing, is that love?

It feels like love.

In woman on fire we begin to separate you from everyone else. Untangle you string by string.

The ropes on your feet, around your hands, the ropes around your mouth, keeping you lost. You begin to shake free slowly, gently, from what they told you love was.

Maybe it means f*cking everything that moves, until you are sickened and so alone that you do not know what to with yourself. We will walk with you back home to you.

Maybe it means celibacy. Walking away from everything for a bit so you can feel the pulsating of your heart underneath your pu$$y. So you can feel how truly deeply they are linked. We will listen as you trust who you are again. What you really want.

Maybe it means somewhere in between. Letting in slowly your true desire. And being able to breathe deeply as the lights go on.

When you can see it all for what it truly is, you no longer live in the darkness of confusion.

I love you and I love this. Us. Together. Getting free.

Starting soon

Deep Personal Truth

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Her heart broke
The moment he spoke
For she knew
He couldn’t believe

Her words
Weren’t her’s
But His
He had little faith…

She weeps
His doubt

In the end?
His faith didn’t matter
Only hers did

She hates him
Because he did…
That selfish prick

He listened
Like a haunted man
Knowing her
Changed him

To this day
He hopes
She will say


She can’t
For her voice

The same
As she always does

Stuck on repeat
Stays through the night
Helping him

Written by:


Connecting with Love

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

“It’s NOT my fault!” You say –
As you stand in silence to the lack of equity and injustices that’s displayed!

You turn your head and refuse to see the existence of such a thing –
You say I wasn’t there, how is this my fault, you sing!

Well let me tell you my friend, it’s our ability – To become, the responsibility!

To be part of the of the solution –
To educate, support and help, bring resolution!

To a world victimized by all the ism’s –
We need more activism!

I believe it is my purpose to be a Steward of the earth – For the greater good
to rebirth!

In my community, in my world –
I cannot sit in silence or turn an eye to the injustice as it swirls!

Round and round we go –
And still we do not know!

Our eyes are open yet we do not see –
When we stand in silence and let things, just be!

We continue to leave the wounds unhealed-
Because we believe we’ll stir up problems with our lips unsealed!

Well I don’t care if I rattle a few chains –
If it helps to subside the suffering pains!

I’ve wronged people in my life,
can you say you’ve not –
It’s taken courage to face this truth I’ve sought!

It’s humbled me
indeed –
Forgiveness is the ally that I breed!

I’ve been empowered to be a better human – To cultivate compassion, and weed out the inhumane!

I may not be able to change history –
Yet I’m able to change myself, my thoughts my attitude, to rewrite my story!

I must believe this to be true –
Or I will die a slow painful death, I’m sure!

Disconnection is a symptom of fear –
Fear of the unknown, ignorance that showers the soul with dreadful tears!

I may not have been physically present in the day –
However, I can still feel the sorrow and pain that was caused in every way!

I feel it in my blood, my soul.
And until I face this fact I cannot feel whole!

Half of my Ancestors were raped and murdered , stripped of their
culture –
While the other half lived in riches at their expense, like vultures!

I could say it’s not my fault, for I wasn’t there –
But the truth remains, I’m there as long as I’m aware!

I choose to listen and show up for the greater good –
That supports unity and harmony for All, as it should!

I urge you now, take your disconnection –
Find a way to turn it into Reconnection!

With Love

By: Alicia Tarin – 2020


Watery Release

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Decades old pain arose, surprising me, for I thought I had put it to rest. Well, I did put it to rest … without the proper processing necessary first.

I cried for a whole day. And even some on the second day.

I told myself to stop living in the past, to push it aside, to shut off the tears, to ‘woman’ up.

And then I spoke to some very dear friends, one of which asked me this:

Do you take a shower to wash your body?

I said, yes.

She said, “Tears are a cleansing for the soul. It washes it pure after trauma, or heartbreak of any kind.”

She explained to me that I should NEVER shut down my tears, that I should pay very close attention to what is being “washed away”, to feel it thoroughly and then release it.

After this talk, I vow to never put a damper on my tears, never to put the breaks on any release of past hurt or trauma.

I will allow my tears to wash my pain.

I will permit the process of healing in my person.

And I will not be ashamed.



Published July 2, 2020 by tindertender

If you’re searching
For the answer
To the riddle
Here on Earth,

The Riddle’s
Gone unanswered
From the moment
Of it’s birth.

For the answer
So many
Would pursue,

In favor
Of their honor
She provided
Just one clue.

Rise up
From the ashes
You decide
Which way to go,

Either up,
Or side ways,
Then you’ll need
To know.

You will Rise,
Like a flame,
Rise live again,

You will rise
Like a flame
Rise live again.

If you’re searching
For the answer
To the riddle
Here on Earth,

The Riddle’s
Gone unanswered
From the moment
Of it’s birth.

For the answer
So many
Would pursue,

In favor
Of their honor
She provided
Just one clue.

Rise up
From the ashes
You decide
Which way to go,

Either up,
Or side ways,
Then you’ll need
To know.

You will Rise,
Like a flame,
Rise live again,

You will rise
Like a flame
Rise live again.

Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Pepper Proud

Get You A Good One

Published July 2, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo:

Get you a good one that will love the woman in you.

The part of you that can look at him and THAT IS IT. He MUST have you then and there.

The part of you that can hold him when he needs to be held.

Even when he doesn’t think he deserves it.

The part that helps him surrender to you. He cannot help himself.

The part of you that can remember who he is, when he forgets.

Get a love that will not be able to get enough of your brilliance, your mind, your truth, your understanding, your opinion.

He will trust you.

He will go to you. With all the nothing and somethings.

He will long for you, any hour of the day.

No matter what you are wearing. Especially when you are gently undone.

Get you a good one that will not only love the woman in you.

But will love the child.

The way you look at him and he can feel that he’s holding your heart.

The way you trust him, to step in and help you, when you’re not too sure what to do.

The way you fear. Sometimes for no good reason at all.

The times you do not even really know what you need, you just know that you need him there.

The part of you that needs to be reassured, reminded that he’s not going anywhere.

That there will never be anything that comes close to you.

He can make you soup and rub your back and put you to bed.

Will not punish you for your softness, but will encourage you to go there with his easy smile.

Find someone that loves the fierce woman in you and the sweet child. Will not be afraid of any part of you, but get to know it well.

You get to feel what it’s like to be wanted for all that you are.



Show Up For Yourself

Published June 30, 2020 by tindertender

I do it every day.

Sometimes I dance with myself, sing to myself, have play dates with myself, fall in love all over again with myself.

I have debates (of course I always win too!)

Mostly, I just sit with myself and think you’re the most loyal, best friend I’ve ever had!

And then I remember,

I’m never alone!

Written by Alicia Tarin

Shades of Love

Published June 30, 2020 by tindertender

One of my favorite things to do is listen to the masculine sing songs of love and pretend he’s singing to me. It makes me smile, knowing that somewhere out there, someone would love to sing to me songs of love … and so I strengthen this knowing by inviting it into my daily living.

Robert Bassett is a new find of mine, and I love his songs. I have a few favorites I’ll share here.

I hope they bring you as much pleasure as they do me.

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