“You do not know it, but in you is the remedy; you cause sickness, but this you don’t see. You are but a small form … this, you assume: but you’re larger than any universe, in reality. You are the book that of any fallacies is clear, in you are all letters spelling out, the mystery. You are the Being, you’re the very Being … It: you contain That, which contained cannot be!”
How many doors are there to all knowledge? Is one forced to locate ‘A’ door? Pigeon holed into one line of entry? Or are there many doors, everywhere, all along life’s path?
Wherever we find ourselves on the journey, we will find, upon deep reflection, we are actually in the eye of the storm, standing smack dab in the middle of where all doors … and openings … meet.
Do you dare enter one of the doors? Or do you open them all and stand center, sending love and song and sweetness into each of them? Not really joining with, or meshing with any single room, or path, or group.
She spins right, wearing her white dress. Sparkles begin to fly off of her as she spins, entering the dark opening of each door. It’s as though a tube is surrounding all of them, and sliding down the rim of the aperture is Golden streams, like water dripping down the outer edges. Darkness is behind, yet these golden rivulets are reflecting light.
She stands in a circle of light and all of the doors seem to disappear, all except one large opening. It seems to open into darkness, but as she looks at it, it begins to glow slightly blue, ever so subtle in the dim, near impenetrable view.
Aaahhh, sunset. The sky a pale blue as the light fades. Silhouettes begin to appear. Buildings, hills, and anything that is abound the earth.
Hair like liquid gold, parted on the right. Gentle waves and a thin band across the forehead. Features delicate, beautiful … yet eyes are like liquid, icy laser beams. Your energy pushes against my middle and a sensation like … fear? … butterflies?
I wonder, your features say you are young, your stature small … yet there is no such thing as small is there? That is a word humans dreamed up after they stuffed themselves into a flesh suit. Reality … who are you really? Why are you pretending to be small when in fact you are so very large? Are you here to burn away my illusion? What if I’m not ready? What if I’m comfortable in the uncomfortableness?
Strange. I thought myself courageous, brave, and willing to face what is … yet this moment allows me to understand there is still fear embedded in the mind. It holds me back from walking through doors, from committing to anything, to remaining aloof.
One thing I’ve learned is that while patient, there is only so much of it that can be offered an individual. At some point, the comfortable will be pushed into discomfort, forced to stretch beyond that which they know. We’re forced to face our fear, willingly … or kicking and screaming.
I think again about what nice means. I think to myself, it wasn’t very nice of me to yell at someone the other day. Fortunately for me, he forgives easily, quickly, and just lets it go like it never happened. Then on the other hand I know someone who refuses to even try to come to an understanding, about what? I do not know. I realize I’m swimming between two poles of experience with two different people. One who forgives and moves on, the other who refuses and fosters negativity. Two completely different reality’s, and me standing in the middle … sometimes frustrated by it all.
All of a sudden I consider many other things as well.
Many … other … things …
Photo by Ashley Batz
Breaking free from the ordinary, even if only for a brief moment, we experience an intense feeling of relief and can let go of any previously held fears and assumptions of what would happen if we did overcome the ‘barrier’, whether its material, emotional, or mental. Simply getting away from the trance of technology for a few hours and spending that time in Nature is a breach of the trappings of civilization that can suffocate us and prevent us from connecting to the Earth.
It is time to take a break! Make it a point to get outside. Have you become attached to your surroundings, making an illusion of safety? Remember, it is not these ‘things’ that make you feel safe, it is the familiarity you have imbued in your surroundings which have generated this false sense of security. Take time away from the familiar, it is literally about changing your external environment in a significant way. Break through the barrier of belief that has constricted you in any way, shift thought patterns and watch as doors open to different worlds and perspectives.
Open your mind and senses to information as it is presented to you; through your eyes, ears, physical sensations, and detached thoughts. Follow any ‘gut feelings’ that tell you to be wary, pay close attention to important opportunities having potential to enhance your life, and the lives of others. Assess what is emanating from your body, and then sort out any conditioned responses from what is purely instinctual. Detach, take a break, and stand tall.
There is ‘power’ all around us. It is in every expression of Nature, yet there isn’t a more dramatic display of this power than lightning. It electrifies and splits the atmosphere. We naturally seek shelter from the storm. It is a reminder that we are not in control of the natural world.
The power of Life is neutral, neither inherently good or bad. It is how you utilize it that will determine whether it is harmful or life giving, in alignment with the will of Spirit that pulses through you. Be aware of your intention, your values, and your willingness to act on them. Pay close attention to Spirits prompting. This Divine Power that is the very force driving the Universe will make the necessary choices clear.
Recently I shared my #metoo experiences and today I took the sharing down. It amazes me how shame of another persons act upon me can still be so embedded in the psyche.
My life is moving forward, as it has always. The wrong-doings against me proved very well the privileges people feel they are entitled to. It also made clear the pain in this world, for hurting people hurt others, this includes those who have strived for financial or power gain while their hearts wither and atrophy.
Indeed, since Divinity is experiencing life through multiple facets, it also knows the hearts and minds of humanity. It knows those who choose to harm or take advantage of others and then blame them for their own deeds while they gather supporters, and it knows those who carry the weight of immoral behaviors bestowed upon them. It knows how an attempt to ‘join in’ with what seems can’t be beaten turns into a walking away and shedding company with the likes that repulse heart space.
Today, I walk away from all that has ever violated my heart, my trust, my mind and my peace.
I wonder what “enduring to the end” really means. The Bible has been horribly edited and tailored with just enough of the original to keep the masses in the dark, thinking they are in the light. I do not feel the need to endure trespasses against me, nor do I feel the need to try and understand their behavior.
I will be busy creating a better world for my end of days … and it won’t be involving anyone who lacks a willingness to clean up their own inner chaos.
I’ve been asking my loneliness, anger, grief, and physical pain what they are trying to convey.
I ask them, “What do you want me to know?”
As I look within, the pain begins to lessen.
I drop deep into my being like a ride on a long water slide, and allow myself to be taken there, with no control. Finally, I plunge into the deep waters of me.
Ancient information is revealed and the answers of what to do next are there, too. The poison and the medicine grow together, simultaneously.
When I was in Mexico, a Mayan medicine man showed me and two others around the jungle. He told us about the plants and what they are good for.
The most poisonous tree grows right next to its antidote. This fascinated me to no end! The Chechem and Chaka trees are connected at the roots. If a human is exposed to the poisonous sap of one, the bark of the other is the antidote.
Like the Chechem and Chaka trees, when I experience poison in my life, the antidote is growing right next to it, roots entwined.
When I acknowledge it (whatever is asking to be seen), I am simultaneously allowing for healing. The antidote is entwined in the pain.
Once that poison is addressed and healed, I notice there is room for my path and purpose to expand into the place that the poison held for so long. From there, it feels like ease.
Now there is a void where the poison was removed. What now? Everything in my being wants to put something there. It’s the natural way of the Universe after all, it abhors a void.
A black hole will do everything in its power to fill itself. Its vacuum becomes stronger and stronger until something fills it. It sucks entire galaxies into its field in a sort of cosmic hungry ghost way, never to be satiated.
My experience tells me to pause. Be discerning. Wait. Ask my Higher Self what it wants.
If I resist the strong pull to put a person, an activity, a substance there, in that newly vacant place, something beautiful happens.
I feel…Empowered. No longer a victim of my world.
I feel whole instead of my gaping hole of a wound. I feel stronger, more confident, less interested in what others think of me. I discover who I really am and what my purpose is on this Earth.
For me, It is so much easier to blame others or make others responsible for my pain and happiness. What I am finding is that there are creative MyStories bursting forth and they are ready to be expressed. My creativity is blooming again.
Lemme tell you, it’s a mutherfucker getting there, but if you can trust the people who have gone before you and know they survived…you will, too. It’s sssooooo fucking worth it.
I love you. A bunch.
Desiree LoveAll Rudder
The difference between people in a healthy world full of relationships, is in the ‘healthy’ see potential in others and situations, whereas the ‘unhealthy’ search themselves, others and everything else for what they see as lack.
This world is very sick right now. We’ve been bred and trained to see lack in our self, in others, and in every situation we may be part of.
It is up to the individual to break the mold and rebuild their training, searching for potential in everything instead.
When we see our self in the mirror, if there are any thoughts of negativity directed at that image, at self, then immediate and hard work must be done to counter those ideas. It’s difficult, but necessary to break the cycle.
When one can finally look in the mirror and like the person they see … not all about the ‘looks’, but the strength behind the eyes, the endurance while wearing a smile through all trials, if anyone comes along to try and tear down that fresh new view, walk away from them quick.
No one has the right to tell you who you are, how strong you are, or what potential you have … that is for you to decide … or to one day ‘find out’.
Even when not making a decision, a decision is made. Be present.