All posts tagged Courage

Precious Woman

Published January 2, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo,,

The women who struggle in relationships the most, the ones who have a hard time finding someone they can trust, are truly some of the most:



Loving souls.

Perfectly sensitive. Unendingly kind.

But they do not always see this.

They tell me they are broken. That no one will ever love them. Yet to know these women is to love them. They are easy to adore despite years of programming and dating advice telling them to be stronger:

“Just love yourself.”

“Don’t be clingy.”

“Don’t be needy.”

“Be mysterious.”

“Just be more: alluring, submissive, feminine, sweet, gentle, interesting.”

“You can make him into the man you want if you try harder.”

“Don’t whine.”

“Don’t be a pushover.”

And when I hear this, when she begins to tell me these stories that were pushed on her, I want to hold her face. Her hands. Her heart.

And ask her:

How can you be anything but precious?

Can you see these wounds as beautiful because they are yours?

I am offering not a ten step program of how to get a lover. But a loving witnessing. Holding a mirror to your heart so you can see more and adore what you see. Understand. Awaken. Nothing to change here. Only more tenderness.

And when it hurts. When the stories get louder, respond with more tenderness.

Do You Remember?

Published December 27, 2019 by tindertender

Written by Mia Allen,

do you remember when you were fourteen and you sang Amazing Grace all by yourself on a stage in an old church⁠⠀

you watched congregation unfold like the bills they placed in the basket ⁠⠀

the old ladies gathered around you after the service to tell you what a bright light you were, and that you’d sung beautifully⁠⠀

you were embarrassed ⁠⠀

but you stole a moment and quietly slipped away to the bathroom ⠀

you looked at yourself in the mirror ⁠slightly smiling, saying Thank You, God, for this life, and giving yourself something to be proud of, for that moment, on that day⁠⠀
that was a really long time ago⁠⠀

and most of those ladies are probably dead⁠⠀

you don’t go to church anymore ⁠⠀

and most of the time the memories that informed your dreams just swirl around in your head ⁠⠀
the placelessness of your experiences makes for a heavy placeless heart ⁠⠀

where do we put our memories⠀

our days when we felt whole ⠀

you wonder and wander til a single beam of light comes pouring through the trees⁠⠀

and you stop ⁠⠀

for a breath and to let it fall over your eyes⁠⠀

you listen to the birds and the wind dance with the leaves⁠⠀

you wonder to yourself if there’s ever been a good time to believe you were worth a damn ⁠⠀

if not then then maybe ⠀
never ⠀

or if not then then maybe ⠀
now ⠀

photo by @_chriseadicicco
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