The young lady needed a blanket, a blanket of warmth, security and forgiveness. She needed the kindness and care never shown her and although this world tried to strip her of her ability, she learned how to give these things to herself. She weaved her blanket of compassion and wore it regularly.
Life was good. Joy and laughter, self-love and love for others were abound! Occasionally someone would come along and steal her blanket. They would exchange this blanket for shame, doubt and insecurity … her inner temple walls would begin to fail.
After many times, she learned how to quickly weave a new blanket for herself, to rebuild her inner temple. She would bless this blanket and what it represented. As she weaved, she would love it and fill it with forgiveness and acceptance, love and joy.
And she would see clearly the pain in the others which caused them to steal her blanket.
I turn off the floor lamp and walk around lighting the evening candles. I tell Alexa to play Soldeggio frequency station and stand in the middle of my living room.
I begin to do stretches and bends, breathing deliberately, intently. My body warms, my tension lifts.
The burning sage has filled the room with its Smokey aroma. I open the door and let it escape. I light some cedar and smudge myself, allowing the room to receive its healing properties as well.
A message arrives. “Look around. This is your life, what do you see?”
My eyes rest on every item. Everything on the wall has a memory, an event, a creation moment. Everything has meaning. I notice hearts everywhere, books galore, a totem pole right in my living room … all treasured items.
Father Time, Love, Friends, Protectors, sacred items significant to intension and prayer. Candles lit in honor of the night, gentle glow, ease of mind.
I speak out my prayer, sincere, earnest. I ask to be led to the lesson in this current situation, I desire to learn and am eager to understand.
It seems time is of the essence. Old patterns and habitual scenarios must be eliminated. All that hooks the attention and drags the pure energies downward must be cast aside.
The health and wellness of my own being, in my own relation with Creator, and all that IS, must come first. When this becomes healthy once more, all toxins attached to energy will dissipate.
I see hopes, and dreams … those that have been, and those yet to be. I see joy and peace, I see comfort and ease. I see that which I am grateful for, the wonders of being, and I surround myself with these memories, thought provoking potentials.
Any moment I can DO … and I can choose a different form of doing, such as this writing.
It isn’t just “stuff” although I could live without it. It reminds me of what I find meaning in, what I wish to create more of in this life, it helps me remember the song of my heart.
I envision the Goddess Mother cradling the earth to her stomach, loving it, caressing it. I say, “Thank you Mother”. I think on the missing and murdered indigenous women, indeed, all of the women who have suffered battery and death. I give them my heart.
The whole world is crazy, and it is all in my head.
People suffering “madness”, feeling like they are the only “sane” ones on the planet.
Once, I ran from fear so fear controlled me. Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn. Listen to it, but not give in. Honour it, but not worship it. Fear could not stop me anymore. I walked with courage into the storm. I still have fear, but it does not have me.
Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, “I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability”.
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.
Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.
Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn’t stop.
Thoughts that wouldn’t be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.
Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, “Respect yourself fiercely now!”.
“Speak your truth with passion!”.
“Say no when you mean no!”.
“Walk your path with courage!”.
“Let no one speak for you!”
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.
Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was “happy”.
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.
Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.
In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.
“All of us begin to rethink what is good about ourselves – put the past where it belongs – and get on with the possibilities of the present!”
— Howard Rainer, TAOS PUEBLO-CREEK
There is a saying, you move toward and become that which you think about. So the question for today is, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking bad things about yourself or are you thinking good things about yourself? Are you thinking about a worldly life? Are you thinking good things about people or are you gossiping about people? Are you focusing on past things or are you living in the future? We need to bring our thoughts into the NOW, right here.
Great Spirit, let me experience living in the present moment.
It is said that when they came to assist us, their mothership was blown to pieces, and here they remain. They are NOT our enemy, although millennia without support has made them frustrated and slightly impatient.
The real enemies are those who build a contraption on the outer edges of our planet, holding everyone in perpetual ‘recycle’.