Celtic older women were revered as the ‘wisdom keepers’. Over time they were called the ‘Crone’ which derived from the word ‘Crown’ meaning they were illuminated ‘shining ones’. The church feared these wise women, murdering & relegating them to the role of the ‘evil ugly hag’.
A small list of some of the crone goddesses from different cultures.
Ala (Nigerian) – The spirits of the dead find peace in her womb.
Ama No Uzumi (Japanese) – A Shinto ancestral Goddess of longevity, protection and psychic abilities.
Asase Yaa (West African) – She represents the womb of the earth from whom we are all birthed and will return to at our death.
Annis (Celtic) – Depicted as a frightening old woman, keeper of wisdom and old ways.
Badb (Irish) – The shape shifting warrior Goddess who symbolises the cycles of life and death, wisdom and inspiration.
Baubo (Greek) – This Bawdy Goddess uses female sexuality and laughter to raise a smile from Demeter.
Baba Yaga (Russian) – In Slavic mythology she is the wild old woman; the witch; and mistress of magic.
Cerridwen (Celtic) – The Keeper of the Cauldron. She represents the wisdom of old age.
Ok so first I do have background in psychology BUT I’m writing this thread mostly from my experience and from a background of 10+ years of helping my clients and my close friends and myself. It’s rough out here and I noticed the hands on work yields more perspective with emotionally nuanced things like this.
When you grow up with a narcissistic mother it’s confusing. As with all narcissistic parents, you start off being a bother as a baby, just something to show off but emotional needs, outbursts and selfless attention and time are usually a bother UNLESS your mom thinks it makes them look like a good mom to handle these things well.
Narcissistic mothers feed off of their image of what they feel “makes” a good mother. Sometimes we get lucky and some of those things are nice. But emotional empathy is ALWAYS missing at the end of the day. Even emotionally “supportive” was moreso centered around the support THEY felt like you needed. Any emotional request outside of what THEY feel is valid gets shut down, berated and they self victimize instead of just giving you what you’re asking for. There is no genuine empathy.
When you’re young, you usually become some type of doll. Like you’re pretty, you’re great in school, you’re well behaved and these things are constantly bragged about. It gets confusing bc this is usually how narcissistic mothers show their love. Being “proud” of you for the things that reflect good on them.
The MOST confusing thing is your mom will constantly exclaim about how much she loves her kids, how she’ll do anything for them all this shit right. She’ll constantly tell you who SHE is and how you SHOULD view her. Honestly it takes time and space to break this rhetoric and see the reality of how selfish she is bc you get taught you shouldn’t hold her accountable for her faults bc of all that she does to try so hard for you and how much she had to sacrifice to be a mother.
It’s veryyy hard to stop making excuses for your mom but it’s important bc if you don’t, you internalize all of that resentment and rage designed for her and it comes out in how you feel about yourself, it makes you guilty for having boundaries with people and saying no.
Once you start getting into puberty tho you become the enemy. Even before that, when you start developing your own individuality you’re suddenly “disrespectful” and unappreciative of all your mom does if you’re not submitting to them and their advice or you letting them over rule you.
This starts the battle. Your mom will then find ways to let you know you’re inadequate. It’ll either come from hyper criticism in the name of “trying to help” or it’ll be downright insults when you’re doing something you’re own way instead of the way they’re telling you to or “suggesting” you to.
If you have a mom who flies into violent narcissistic rage you’ll be called everything in the book when she feels challenged. One way my mom would berate me even as a grown woman would be to refer to me as “little girl” or once called me “her bastard bitch”. I mean it gets nasty.
If you have a mom who goes into a quiet narcissistic rage she’ll become the hyper victim, self loathing and guilt trip you until you feel bad and stop trying to hold her accountable for whatever you’re confronting her with.
You having your identity is literally threatening to your moms identity. If she can’t take credit for every part of you, her self loathing and jealousy will kick in and she will try to project those feelings onto you.
This creates a lot of self doubt when you become an adult. It feels easier to put yourself down than to build yourself up. You may not believe when other people compliment you or are nice to you. You may struggle with depression and not know how to give yourself positive reinforcement.
You may also start to feel competitive with other women bc of the distrust. This comes more from the guilt tripping mothers. You feel like you constantly have to be “beneath” others which can create an inferiority complex. It can cause you to withdraw and self loath when needing help bc you may feel like you don’t deserve the help, like you needing help is an inconvenience.
If you have the more violent nasty mothers, you may be downright avoidant of forming healthy relationships with other women. It may be hard for you to let them in and be soft. You may feel overly self sufficient and not really comfortable asking anyone for help. You don’t want to be viewed as a weak bitch. And that’s on berating from our moms whenever we actually need help.
HOW TO HEAL:
First, it’s a process. You may need to get a therapist to help you expand your awareness on how things have impacted you but if you feel like you have a good grip it may not be necessary. Start to notice how your mom speaks to you on the everyday and the defenses that’s created with others.
Then, notice how you were spoken to as a child and how that’s helped shape your inner dialogue. Next, notice how your emotions have been handled by your mom and how you’ve transferred this into your relationship with yourself and with others. This one is hard bc there’s so much unlearning to do with how to emotionally handle people when they’re vulnerable and how to handle your own vulnerability.
Cry it out. Cry for the little girl who put her moms feelings first. Cry for the little girl who wanted her mom to change. Cry for the little girl who had more empathy for her moms situation than her own. Cry for the woman who feels betrayed. Cry for the woman who feels shorted from having a good relationship with their mom. Cry for the woman who doesn’t have the advocacy they very much need from the person who birth them. Cry because it hurts 💔
If you’re into holistic healing I have a guided meditation that could help with the process. I needed this A LOT when becoming a mother. And to become a better version of myself. I hope this helped, and it does get better 💖💖💖
god is a mother and with that sentence the world stops
the world always stops when woman and divine commingle
as if the feminine dilutes the miraculous when in reality it embodies it
when jesus turns water to wine they clap but when women turn breasts to milk they cringe
a broken man’s body is celebrated each sunday while a broken woman’s body is just hidden away
and it’s no wonder that mother is a word used by men to demonize those who don’t claim the name and weaponized to shame those who step out of line because their ideal woman plays the role of nurturer and silencer in pews built and led by them
but when god becomes mother she is neither quiet or compliant she leads confidently she questions authority she commands respect which might be the problem
for mother god did not gather us up carelessly but took her time with it she fed us milk birthed our souls and broke her body and the permanence can be uncomfortable
and to disentangle god from motherhood is impossible but to disentangle god from womanhood is sinful
because seeing god as mother is one step closer to seeing god in me and it’s in that i am truly born again
Keeper of tomorrow’s dreams, Mother of the star-filled night, Show me how to live my truth And bring my dreams to light.
Teach how to use my will, Living the truth I find within, Discovering all the parts of me Where light and shadow blend.
Let me sing the song of future With concern for what will be, Up holding all of nature’s laws For creatures, stones, and trees.
Mother, I see you in the sunset And I hear you in the rain. You teach me inner knowing Through your heart’s sweet refrain.
Setting Sun Woman.
Clan Mother of the Ninth Moon Cycle.
Setting Sun Woman is the Keeper of tomorrow’s goals and dreams. She is the Clan Mother of the ninth Moon Cycle, which falls in September and is connected to the color green. Green is the color of will; Setting Sun Woman shows us how to properly use our wills to insure the abundance of the future. She teaches us that the will to live, the will to survive, the will to be impeccable in preserving the Earth Mother’s resources are paramount parts of our Earth walk.
This Clan Mother teaches us how to live the truth and sits in the West direction of the Medicine Wheel. The West direction is the home of the feminine principle, the Earth Mother, the setting sun and night sky. The abilities we gain from learning the lessons of the West are concern, dependability, nurturing, inner-knowing, achievements, and goals. The West is sometimes called the Looking-within Place because the feminine principle is naturally intuitive and is willing to be receptive.
The river is flowing Flowing and growing The river is flowing Down to the sea Mother earth carry me Your child I have always been Mother earth carry me Down to the sea.
Great Mother, take me in the healing arms of yours wash away the tears of my soul and guide me back home
Great Mother, embrace me with the light of your sun shining her golden light upon the path I am on
I feel you are there Your being fills the air In my prayer
I’ll be forever a child that you teach about ebb and flow, about what is to show beneath Your roots, your wisdom they reach beyond what words could teach Unearth your voice, your song Embrace me with your love
Great Mother, take me in the healing arms of yours Show me where I belong Show me where my heart feels home
Where Mother is hearing my song, Where Mother is hearing my song I feel safe, I feel loved I feel held in her arms so soft
I’ll be forever a child that you teach about ebb and flow, about what is to show beneath Your roots, your wisdom they reach beyond what words could teach Unearth your voice, your song Embrace me with your love
The things a mother gives up would leave most people empty – but as mothers we hold ourselves high. We do our jobs, and we do it good! It’s never ending hours and requirements most would rather pass on.
– No sick days – No calling in – No personal days – No vacations – No privacy – No alone time – No personal space – No quitting – No sleep – No putting yourself first – No stopping
Yeah, it’s a lot of no’s…
Why do you do it then, you ask?
Because. – Because, you are their mother. You gave birth to the most precious beings in your life. Because you have loved them before you knew them. Because you would give your life for them. Because the smiles and unconditional love you receive is more then any sacrifice you have ever made.
Sure, it’s hard. Yeah, it has its days when you want to give up. When you want to cry your eyes out and run away. But you made a promise to care and love for these little beings. And damn it, that’s something you take very seriously!
You are a mother, and no matter the struggles and self doubt… You have one hell of a job, and you do it well!
[Verse 1] Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Verse 2] Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Verse 3] Mother, I hear you in the river’s song Eternal waters flowing on and on Mother, I hear you in the river’s song Eternal waters flowing on and on
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Verse 4] Father, I see you when the eagle flies Light of the spirit going to take us higher Father, I see you when the eagle flies Light of the spirit going to take us higher
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Break]
[Verse 5] Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Verse 6] Mother, I hear you in the river’s song Eternal waters flowing on and on Mother, I hear you in the river’s song Eternal waters flowing on and on
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Verse 7] Father, I see you when the eagle flies Light of the spirit going to take us higher Father, I see you when the eagle flies Light of the spirit going to take us higher
[Refrain] Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
Heya heya heya Ya heya heya ho Heya heya heya heya heya ho
[Outro] Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat Mother, I feel you under my feet Mother, I hear your heartbeat
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