All posts in the History category

My Grandmother Once Gave Me A Tip

Published October 22, 2020 by tindertender

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.
Do what you have to do, but little by little.
Don’t think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.
Wash the dishes.
Remove the dust.
Write a letter.
Make a soup.
You see?
You are advancing step by step.
Take a step and stop.
Rest a little.
Praise yourself.
Take another step.
Then another.
You won’t notice, but your steps will grow more and more.
And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

~ Elena Mikhalkova

(Image of Tasha Tudor, American Illustrator 1915-2008)

Blessed Silence

Published October 22, 2020 by tindertender

I haven’t experienced ‘relative’ silence for nearly two decades. Yes, I was exposed to one heck of an egregore, 2 in fact. I’m surprised I survived it.

In the last two weeks the mind has gone quiet. It is odd, not listening to many folks speaking from the unseen. I am grateful.

It was so odd, in fact, and I had become so accustomed to it over the last 17 years, I found myself doing things that would actually make the mind noisy.

Last night though, the thought came to me … “Enjoy the silence. When was the last time you experienced it? You really have no idea how long it will last … enjoy it.”

And so I took a book to bed with me and read until I was sleepy.

And I woke this morning to silence, or near so.

And I reveled in it.

Just two short weeks ago this was such a different story.

Is the resonance calming, or have the egregories become distracted by another, or others? Either way, I’ll be thankful for this time and relish the ‘solitude’.

And I will focus on creating the life I desire.

And I will pull back all energies and efforts from that which does not serve this vision.

Thank you for the lessons. It was a difficult process, one that may not be finished … yet still, I must thank you for this reprieve.

And … breathe …

Something BIG must be happening

Published October 20, 2020 by tindertender

On a personal note …

The visitor log took a plunge today.

I had no idea this involved the entire globe. It is strange being judged by countries rather than individual people. I thought it was just a few folks, but no, it’s entire countries. No wonder they’ve been telling me to be very careful of what I say.

There are many aspects of the feminine under examination these days.

There once was a time when I thought to myself that there is no reason why I cannot get along with everybody. I can surely make efforts to that end.

It is unfortunate though that some lack capacity to accept people as they are … even I am having this issue. Yet I understand that accepting someone for who they are does not equate with sharing space with that someone.

We get to choose who and what we want in our life, what we will accept, or reject.

I am in process of reclaiming the energies I have spent on making others problems, my problems.

I am retraining myself to spend my attention and energies on promoting the things I desire in my life, things of benefit rather than drain.

~ A clean environment (whew! what a task!)
~ A nice, cozy and pretty place to rest my head at night.
~ Time to meditate and clear the head, making room for proper connections.
~ Art, painting, drawing, doing puzzles, creating blankets or what-nots.
~ Love … my pets are full of love, and they are hairy which makes the clean environment a task.

Repealing the energies given to another will be difficult, I do not care for being bitchy. So I focus instead on simply extracting myself and my efforts from the entanglement.

First here, then there.

I had no idea that settling for a situation could be so draining on potentials in life. Yet settling does just that.

When I was younger, if I did not care for a situation I removed myself from it. This time however, I need to pluck something from my environment, while staying put. It is difficult, especially when that something has become accustomed to a certain character performance by myself.

I never considered myself an enabler, until my subconscious picked up on it, insight gifted to me by those who wanted me to see. (Thank you).

I did not wish to follow in the path of my ancestors. Creating relationship, and then leaving it, only to start another. It does look like this is how it goes though …

I longed for steady, for the surety of it (whether it be relationship or dwelling), and I became the glue that held it all together. The one who worked at it so that it was stable.

It is now time to let it unravel though. I’m done pouring effort into something that will not improve, that will not advance the goodness in my life, no …. it only remains stagnant, feeding off what I agree to give.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is I who needs my loving kindness and care … haha, do I even know what that looks like? I think not, and it is time to learn what it is, what it looks like, and what it feels like.

Yes, something BIG is happening.

They say the dead will walk the earth once more. This could be literal, which it may, and it could also mean that the sleeping herd of we, the sheeple, are waking up and understanding that we have been kept in a sort of limbo.

I know my future does not resemble the past 12 years … no, I’m aiming higher, rising to the occasion, at least, this is my intention.

I’m guessing this is happening in many minds right about now.

Realization …

After realization …


Published October 9, 2020 by tindertender

Going along in life it may sometimes feel as though everything has fallen apart, literally.

You may tell yourself you’ve failed, others may say the same, reaffirming your thoughts of insufficiency.

Since we are always at choice, we have the opportunity to shift perspective, to see it from another angle.

Perhaps when things seem to fall apart, or literally do, instead of seeing it as failure, seeing it as simply an opportunity to come at it from a different position, or frame of mind.

Perhaps it is an opportunity to realize that the way one is thinking about the situation needs rebirthing, refreshed.

Perhaps it is a necessary step in the process, a baby step if you will, to the next level of reality in the situation.

Usually, personal growth is made in increments. Every time there is a set back it can feel like a failure, but is only a step in the right direction, one step at a time, a continual birthing and death to perception of the circumstance.

Rather than allowing our self to fray and fall apart every time a step is made, every time we walk out of the old and into the new, an embrace for the newness ought to be cultivated in mind. A sense of gratitude for the progression in the issue, and indeed in life itself, held in mind and honored by the spirit within.

You are not failing my dear, nor are your efforts wasted. You are in a continual state of rebirthing yourself, ever more into higher perspectives and realities.


Published October 7, 2020 by tindertender

“Medusa teaches us that we have the right to defend ourselves. So often we are taught that we need to put up with the actions of others in a quiet way, demurely accepting what others would put upon us. She shows us that we need to stand our ground when someone would do us harm. We are not here to quietly accept the intentions of others. We have the right to be safe.

Medusa tells us to know our power and to honor the gifts that swim within our veins, even though sometimes it may feel like more of a curse than a blessing. She brings us the wisdom of the snake, of transformation and of rebirth. She asks that we too hold up the mirrored shield towards those that would wish us ill and reflect back upon them what they have created.

Medusa reminds us that there will always be those who will spit venom at us, in word and deed. That does not make them right. We are not here to be the plaything of others. We are Sacred Priestesses of the Divine. And we will not back down.”


Elder’s Meditation of the Day 10-5-2020

Published October 5, 2020 by tindertender

“The dances are prayers.”
–Pop Chalee, TAOS PUEBLO

When we dance to the drum we pray to the Creator and attract the heartbeat of the earth. We never dance without reason; every dance has a purpose. We dance for rain; we dance for healing; we dance for seasons; we dance for joy; we dance for our children; we dance for the people; we dance for courage. The drum plays to the beat of the heart, to the beat of the Earth. The drum connects us to the Earth while we dance our prayers.

Oh, Great One, let my dance and prayer be heard by You.

Copied with the permission of Don L. Coyhis, from the book Meditations with Native American Elders: The Four Seasons

If anyone would like to purchase the book is can be found at:
Coyhis Publishing at: http://www.coyhispublishing.com/…/meditations-with… Or Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1605304514/ref

How I Became A Warrior

Published October 2, 2020 by tindertender

Once, I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear like a newborn.
Listen to it, but not give in.
Honour it, but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me anymore.
I walked with courage into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.

Once, I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, “I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability”.
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed, with shame as a lover.

Once, I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans. My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught me how to love.

Once, I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn’t stop.
Thoughts that wouldn’t be silent.
So I stopped trying to silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree, unshakeable, safe.

Once, anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound and my blood boil.
Listened to it, finally.
And it screamed, “Respect yourself fiercely now!”.
“Speak your truth with passion!”.
“Say no when you mean no!”.
“Walk your path with courage!”.
“Let no one speak for you!”
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.

Once, loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract and numb myself.
Ran to people and places and things.
Even pretended I was “happy”.
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude and stillness.
That connected me to all things.
So I was not lonely, but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.

Once, I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors, confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility, an unshakeable Presence.

In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness”,
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.

I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.

And started listening.

~ Jeff Foster with Leslie Miller

Gratitude and Making Change

Published October 1, 2020 by tindertender

If you’re like me, you were trained to be apologetic, to feel small, and to say and do things to keep you feeling that way.

It took a few decades before I put my foot down to this behavior. I will no longer apologize for who I am … yet I will always look for ways to be grateful for, and to, the people in my life who help me on the way.

It is difficult to change (never break) habitual patterns that were taught to us as children and young adults. These are our most formative years, and one reason why the memories of youth stay with us so long … even for those who suffer dementia.

Yet changing habitual patterns is necessary if we wish to change our reality.

As Dr Joe Dispenza states, “Your personal reality is formed by your personality.”

It is important to do things differently if we wish to experience a shift in our personal reality.

Skip the coffee in the morning, have juice instead. Drive a different route to work. Pack a lunch rather than going out. Sit under a tree and eat it, or go to the car and listen to soft music while you eat. After work, go to a hot-springs for a soak rather than going home to sit in front of the television … read a book, or color, or zentangle … get your creative skills going. Change the time you eat, the foods you choose, fast for awhile. If you take sleeping pills, skip them a few days, as much as you can stand … let the mind wander and ‘put up with’ a few sleepless nights … much can be accomplished should we allow our hidden consciousness loose for a time. Much will be revealed … scary things we can then ponder on and work out, lovely things we can grow in mind …

These are only a few ideas, of which I put into practice on a regular basis, not all at once of course, but I choose at least one thing in the day to do differently.

Being predictable can lead to many problems when it comes to our relationships with others, and even more detrimental, with our selves.

If you are having a bad day, consciously make it a point to start creating a list of things you are grateful for … any and all things that come to mind. It will shift your perspective fairly quickly, seriously. It will make it easier to process through whatever got you in a funk in the first place and rather than dwell there, you will be able to move on, into the next idea, thought form, or practice. And don’t just visit the list next time you’re in a funk, create a new list … because this list changes over time.

Mostly, stop apologizing for being you, stop making yourself small, giving away your power to stand tall and strong …

I’m not saying to become agressive, or overpowering … becoming that which has held you down for so long …. I’m suggesting a rising …. to heights originally intended for you … for we.

It is not a chosen few who get to occupy these spaces of strength and personal authority. It is you, it is me, it is we.

Experts at Reality

Published September 30, 2020 by tindertender

As most of us are busy trying to create a reality for ourselves that is healthy, happy and whole, there are others working against us.

You see, their goal is to manipulate the reality of everyone around them … in this way, they manipulate their own.

Two kinds of players …

The honest, who keep to themselves,

And the greedy, who get a kick out of disrupting the lives of others. This gives them a sense of power … and it may even be rewarded by those higher up in the game, doing the same.

The question is …

Are we aware of this fact? Or are we being pulled here and there, at the whim of another, or others.

It is easy to tell ourself we will not be manipulated, but are we telling ourself the truth? How can this be truth when we cannot see the bigger picture? The game … the hoopla … the hoops we continuously jump through at the guidance of others?

Reality …. it’s tough, especially when we cannot see it.

I did not watch the debate more than 15 minutes last night. Two grown men, calling each other liars …. like arguing children. And people are caught up in it as if it is the most important thing in this world.

Who is creating reality? Arguing children, or you?

It’s plain to see should one step back and simply observe without getting emotionally entangled. It takes practice … and time is short.

Stepping back now would be the wise thing to do.

Stop the drink, the drug, the mind altering substances which inhibit clear thinking.

Unless of course you enjoy being played ….

Then by all miens, continue.

Realities are being designed, right now. The one you buy in to will be yours for some time.

Choose wisely.

I say these things for my benefit, as much as yours.

What you choose now will be your reality for years to come.

Step away from the players, be the Creator.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@agent_illustrateur
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