All posts tagged Woman

Hekate And The Return of the Wild Woman

Published March 9, 2020 by tindertender

We are the wild woman who broke free of the chains using her own cleverness and cunning. This is the spirit of Hekate, the ancient keeper of keys and breaker of chains. We are wild in that we resist and persist against those who would keep us bound. This is the remembering of what our soul has always known; that through the reclaiming of the keys of our wild, intuitive and wise selves can we find true freedom.

The power of Hekate is the power of the wild woman broken free of her chains and keeping her own keys. Adobe photo.

Hekate: Breaker of Chains of the Wild Woman

The return of wild women has led to a foundational shift in the power structure. It is a fault line over which we cannot traverse. There is no going back. From this cleavage has emerged the eternal primal power of the sacred feminine. The wild woman has broken free. Her crown in place, she now stands in her power.

To me, this goddess rising is Hekate. She is the ancient mother called forth from her cave by the cries of thousands. She is fierce, bold and enduring. Hekate is the voice that whispers we can choose to stand in our power. She is the life-death-life cycle. That is what women know in our souls. This is the power that is feared. We are creators and destroyers. Tender, yet unbreakable. And we have broken free of their chains.

We are living in the aftermath of the chain-breaking earthquake. The terrain is dangerous, yet it is the territory in which we are most powerful. This is Hekate’slandscape; the crossroads between what was and what will be.

Unlocking The Chains: The Keeper of the Keys

One of Hekate’s ancient titles means “Breaker of Chains.” To the ancients, the goddess was multi-faceted, unhampered by restrictions placed on her by the powerful. Hekate was known as the Keeper of Keys of the universe by the ancients, indicating that she held the knowledge of all things. She was also widely revered as a goddess of the crossroads, a place viewed as a portal between this world and the one of spirits. To some, she was the Great Mother Goddess.

She was always known as the Queen of Witches. Today, we have been programmed to believe that there is separation between ourselves and the goddess. Moreover, that the goddess is restricted to the harmful restrictive definition that we’ve been force-fed. The goddess must be compliant and small. She must be limited to being courteous and nice. These are the lies we have been told. Hekate is the rebellion against these profanities. She is the eternal wild woman.

It must be said that her enormous power was so threatening to the rise of patriarchal Christianity that great efforts were undertaken in order to wrap her in chains. This was parallel to the same binding placed on women. Granted that patriarchy existed before Christianity, yet only this religion enthusiastically sought to eradicate the powerful sacred feminine.

Being a Goddess Loving Warrior

Several years ago, a man said to me, “I am a god fearing soldier,” after I had said something that he had found too woo-woo for his taste. My response: “I am a goddess loving warrior.” My goddess is Hekate. She is powerful beyond comprehension. She has returned, and we merge with her spirit to rise as well. We are all breakers of chains and keepers of our own keys. She unleashes my intuitive, wise self that some find too “out there.” That is our wildness. Those intuitive keys are the very ones we use to free ourselves, then we used them to open the gates of our truth, and now we stand together with our power. Hekate is the energy that brings us together, in circles small and large. We stand as wild women reborn.

The Risks When We Claim Our Powerful Keys

However, women’s power is still subjugated to much backlash. There are those who wish only to see us fail. It’s a sad but true fact that when women are in control, they get judged negatively. There are those who fear circles of the sacred feminine, and there are many who are terrified of our individual power.

When women speak of uncomfortable topics, they are disliked. Claiming the goddess in all her glory is threatening to many. Talking about abuse, bias and the ensuing trauma can be upsetting for certain, but it’s the blaming of the truth-talker that is so problematic. Women who talk about difficult subjects and who stand in their power are disliked. This comes from both men and women. There is a bias against powerful women speaking truth, whether it’s in personal relationships or to the power structure that seeks to keep us in check. Hekate, as we do, persists in the face of risk. She is the triumph of overcoming pain and risks to achieve a life of integrity. One where what we know on our insides becomes what we present to the world.

Breaking the Chains in Spite of All the Risks

Living this integrity is not easy. It is difficult to choose to claim our own place in the world because of the insults, slurs and insinuations that get flung whenever a woman boldly lives her truth. There’s a great deal of risk when women choose to stand in their power. Hekate abides in the crossroads. She is there when we stand on the threshold of choosing to say, “time’s up.” She empowers women to speak out. If you are a woman who boldly lives her truth and takes up space in spite of all the risks, I honor you. You are a wild woman reborn.

Silently Breaking the Chains

You may be a woman who can’t live that truth out loud right now. Perhaps the risks are too great. You could lose your home, children, partner, friends, family and job by allowing what is inside of you to become evident in the world. There are those still who would face violence and even imprisonment. The women in these difficult situations, where the risks are too high, often find quiet ways to claim their power. These are the silent revolutionistas. Hekate stands beside all the women who must protect themselves. If this is you, I honor you. You are a wild woman reborn.

Using Our Keys

More potent than awakening is the moment when we choose to do something about it, whether in our personal lives by setting firm boundaries or speaking out about our painful experiences, or standing up for a cause we believe in. How absolutely sad it is that being a social justice warrior has been vilified. A couple of years ago I wrote about how my goddess urges me to speak out for myself and the marginalized. The vitriol that article received was breathtaking. Still, I persist. If you persist in speaking out, I honor you. We are changing the world.

If you, like me, find strength through the goddess known to us as Hekate, you understand that we are entwined with her rise. We are part of a force so much greater than we are. This is the wave that emerged from the cleavage from the earthquake of women’s power that opened the gates of Hekate’s cave. Turn to her when you need to funnel your righteous rage for healing and for hexing those who seek to control you. Behold her unlimited tenderness when you are weary and allow her strength to invigorate you. Claim those keys she’s been keeping until you are ready. If you are claiming them now, I honor you. We are the wild women reborn.

Reclaim your wild woman through the power of Hekate:

Hekate: Goddess of Witches, Dark Mother And Keeper Of The Keys

Evoking The Dark Mother: A Ritual For Summoning Hekate

Hekate’s Key Journey And The Keys Of Spiritual Journeying

Hekate’ s Serpent Medicine And The Awakening Of The Inner Snake Goddess

Keeping Her Keys: The Rise Of Hekate And Her Witches

Unf*ck Your Life Using Witchcraft

Written by CYNDI BRANNEN ~ Cyndi Brannen, PhD, teaches and writes from the crossroads of personal development, spirituality and true magic. Founder of the Keeping Her Keys system of spiritual witchcraft, she shares the keys of The Sacred Seven laws using practical methods ranging from journaling to journeying. Keeping Her Keys: An Introduction to Hekate’s Modern Witchcraft explores Hekate from her ancient origins to our modern understanding through magic and personal development. True Magic: Unleashing Your Inner Witch, based on the sacred seven principles of witchcraft, is a practical guide to better living through witchcraft. Read Dr. Brannen’s journey from shattered to whole, and the courses she offers at keepingherkeys.com. You can read more about the author here.


Women’s Day Marches: https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2020-03-08/latin-american-cities-ready-for-massive-womens-day-marches

Taught to Submit

Published January 23, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo: https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves; https://mariapalumbo.com/

In the 1950s women were trained to submit to the man. It was very enticing.

“Wear the dress. Wear the pearls. Cook a good stew. Smile. Be a good girl. You will have everything you could ever dream of.”

How to curate their entire essence, so it was feminine, alluring, charming. So the man would want them.

Things have not changed much in spiritual circles teaching divine and masculine unity.

“Submit. Give in. Stop whining. You’re emasculating. Stop complaining. Be grateful. You’re lucky he wants you at all, you pathetic sweet creature.”

I am disturbed over what is being taught to women and digested by the masses, regarding divine feminine and masculine power and empowerment.

It involves two things:

  1. Deny self in order to attract The One
  2. Know true joy from being chosen by a “King”

It is ALL very enticing. Especially for those of us who have been traumatized.

For trauma teaches us to NOT THINK for ourselves and WE ARE MAKING IT ALL UP in our head. The outcome of trauma can make us confused, question our needs/desires/and boundaries, and this is exactly what these teachings are encouraging:

“Let HIM decide how you feel. In fact, if you feel uncomfortable or even hatred, YOU are confused and misunderstanding him. And that is why you are alone.”

They are teaching, “Do not THINK, do not question, do not despise any treatment. Just open wider to let him in. If it hurts, it is your problem.”

And once you do, once you finally crack the feminine code of being in FULL SUBMISSION to the masculine, you will be loved, held, seen, desired, in every way you could possibly imagine.

Every day sparkling with a prince that will save you.

I wish it was that easy.

I wish that opening further, responding in love, could actually magically transform someone.

But it doesn’t.

The wounded child in me can fall prey to that mindset. She is susceptible to thinking she needs to work harder, keep trying, putting in more work, when it BLOODY HURTS. For that is exactly what Daddy told her: “If only you were a little better sweetheart, I wouldn’t get so angry.”

My inner child WOULD LOVE to be saved. Would love the fact that disappearing herself and giving herself over to the masculine, would result in true love. To be chosen finally. For someone to come along and make it all make sense. She thinks if she tries harder, loves a little more, she can subdue the darkness in the man she loves.

But she cannot.

And to teach women to not be discerning with their submission, but to JUST SUBMIT, is not only dangerous, but traumatizing a generation of women. It is using the toxic voice of the unhealed father, to control and create harm.

What these teachings are missing is CONSENT from the feminine and also discernment about WHAT they are consenting to. Using flowerly psuedo spiritual language, only confuses further.

And my fellow community members, we are INCREDIBLY susceptible to leaning towards teachings that re-traumatize, while calling it “power.” Because many of us have experienced trauma, we need to be:

  • EXAMINING allegiances in relationship, in friendship, in business, and beyond, instead of quietly going along with “spiritual” gratefulness
  • HEALING instead of taking another pill of submission and bypassing our healing and letting someone control us
  • HIRING trauma and relationship specialists with healthy relationships, instead of guru-like leaders with little street cred when it comes to healthy relationship
  • SPEAKING OUT against toxic masculinity by looking at ways to heal it through the male, female and non gender lens, instead of making it an issue of women JUDGING or condemning men

And ultimately, stop buying into the idea that The One will make life worthwhile. That there is A One who is created for you and his every move will make you feel like the woman you were meant to be.

For there is no such thing.

To letting go of the toxic dream of being saved and to doing the healing to wake up in bed with someone with bad breath and endless tenderness for you.


Precious Woman

Published January 2, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo, https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves, https://mariapalumbo.com/

The women who struggle in relationships the most, the ones who have a hard time finding someone they can trust, are truly some of the most:



Loving souls.

Perfectly sensitive. Unendingly kind.

But they do not always see this.

They tell me they are broken. That no one will ever love them. Yet to know these women is to love them. They are easy to adore despite years of programming and dating advice telling them to be stronger:

“Just love yourself.”

“Don’t be clingy.”

“Don’t be needy.”

“Be mysterious.”

“Just be more: alluring, submissive, feminine, sweet, gentle, interesting.”

“You can make him into the man you want if you try harder.”

“Don’t whine.”

“Don’t be a pushover.”

And when I hear this, when she begins to tell me these stories that were pushed on her, I want to hold her face. Her hands. Her heart.

And ask her:

How can you be anything but precious?

Can you see these wounds as beautiful because they are yours?

I am offering not a ten step program of how to get a lover. But a loving witnessing. Holding a mirror to your heart so you can see more and adore what you see. Understand. Awaken. Nothing to change here. Only more tenderness.

And when it hurts. When the stories get louder, respond with more tenderness.


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