All posts tagged Abuse

Daughters with Narcissistic Mothers

Published March 18, 2023 by tindertender

By @MysticxLipstick

Ok so first I do have background in psychology BUT I’m writing this thread mostly from my experience and from a background of 10+ years of helping my clients and my close friends and myself. It’s rough out here and I noticed the hands on work yields more perspective with emotionally nuanced things like this.

When you grow up with a narcissistic mother it’s confusing. As with all narcissistic parents, you start off being a bother as a baby, just something to show off but emotional needs, outbursts and selfless attention and time are usually a bother UNLESS your mom thinks it makes them look like a good mom to handle these things well.

Narcissistic mothers feed off of their image of what they feel “makes” a good mother. Sometimes we get lucky and some of those things are nice. But emotional empathy is ALWAYS missing at the end of the day. Even emotionally “supportive” was moreso centered around the support THEY felt like you needed. Any emotional request outside of what THEY feel is valid gets shut down, berated and they self victimize instead of just giving you what you’re asking for. There is no genuine empathy.

When you’re young, you usually become some type of doll. Like you’re pretty, you’re great in school, you’re well behaved and these things are constantly bragged about. It gets confusing bc this is usually how narcissistic mothers show their love. Being “proud” of you for the things that reflect good on them.

The MOST confusing thing is your mom will constantly exclaim about how much she loves her kids, how she’ll do anything for them all this shit right. She’ll constantly tell you who SHE is and how you SHOULD view her. Honestly it takes time and space to break this rhetoric and see the reality of how selfish she is bc you get taught you shouldn’t hold her accountable for her faults bc of all that she does to try so hard for you and how much she had to sacrifice to be a mother.

It’s veryyy hard to stop making excuses for your mom but it’s important bc if you don’t, you internalize all of that resentment and rage designed for her and it comes out in how you feel about yourself, it makes you guilty for having boundaries with people and saying no.

Once you start getting into puberty tho you become the enemy. Even before that, when you start developing your own individuality you’re suddenly “disrespectful” and unappreciative of all your mom does if you’re not submitting to them and their advice or you letting them over rule you.

This starts the battle. Your mom will then find ways to let you know you’re inadequate. It’ll either come from hyper criticism in the name of “trying to help” or it’ll be downright insults when you’re doing something you’re own way instead of the way they’re telling you to or “suggesting” you to.

If you have a mom who flies into violent narcissistic rage you’ll be called everything in the book when she feels challenged. One way my mom would berate me even as a grown woman would be to refer to me as “little girl” or once called me “her bastard bitch”. I mean it gets nasty.

If you have a mom who goes into a quiet narcissistic rage she’ll become the hyper victim, self loathing and guilt trip you until you feel bad and stop trying to hold her accountable for whatever you’re confronting her with.

You having your identity is literally threatening to your moms identity. If she can’t take credit for every part of you, her self loathing and jealousy will kick in and she will try to project those feelings onto you.

This creates a lot of self doubt when you become an adult. It feels easier to put yourself down than to build yourself up. You may not believe when other people compliment you or are nice to you. You may struggle with depression and not know how to give yourself positive reinforcement.

You may also start to feel competitive with other women bc of the distrust. This comes more from the guilt tripping mothers. You feel like you constantly have to be “beneath” others which can create an inferiority complex. It can cause you to withdraw and self loath when needing help bc you may feel like you don’t deserve the help, like you needing help is an inconvenience.

If you have the more violent nasty mothers, you may be downright avoidant of forming healthy relationships with other women. It may be hard for you to let them in and be soft. You may feel overly self sufficient and not really comfortable asking anyone for help. You don’t want to be viewed as a weak bitch. And that’s on berating from our moms whenever we actually need help.


First, it’s a process. You may need to get a therapist to help you expand your awareness on how things have impacted you but if you feel like you have a good grip it may not be necessary. Start to notice how your mom speaks to you on the everyday and the defenses that’s created with others.

Then, notice how you were spoken to as a child and how that’s helped shape your inner dialogue. Next, notice how your emotions have been handled by your mom and how you’ve transferred this into your relationship with yourself and with others. This one is hard bc there’s so much unlearning to do with how to emotionally handle people when they’re vulnerable and how to handle your own vulnerability.

Cry it out. Cry for the little girl who put her moms feelings first. Cry for the little girl who wanted her mom to change. Cry for the little girl who had more empathy for her moms situation than her own. Cry for the woman who feels betrayed. Cry for the woman who feels shorted from having a good relationship with their mom. Cry for the woman who doesn’t have the advocacy they very much need from the person who birth them. Cry because it hurts 💔

If you’re into holistic healing I have a guided meditation that could help with the process. I needed this A LOT when becoming a mother. And to become a better version of myself. I hope this helped, and it does get better 💖💖💖


November 3rd, 65 Years Ago, Laika Was Launched In Space. No Return.

Published November 6, 2022 by tindertender

Laika, “Little Barker”, real name Kudrjavka, “curly”.

Captured on the street, in Moscow.

Half Husky and half Terrier, she was around 3 years old at the time.

Choice because good, docile and perfectly adaptable to the Sputnik 2. capsule. Equipped for life support (food and water) the mission didn’t involve return.

For Laika it was a death sentence.

The interior of the satellite was lined and the interior space was wide enough to allow Laika to lie or stand. The internal temperature was set to 15. and a refrigeration system had to protect the animal from excessive thermal surges.

On November 3rd at 2 am Sputnik 2 was launched into space.

Laika probably survived for seven hours.
But some sources claim that agony was much longer: four days.
Alone, in space.

The satellite returned to atmosphere 5 months later, April 14, 1958, after turning 2.570 laps around Earth.

It disintegrated upon return to the atmosphere.

There’s a deep guilt that all of us should feel reading what we did to Laika. Human progress has often been achieved at the expense of animals that had nothing to do with our desire for supremacy.

Many people believe this was an acceptable price for our conquests, but it seems obvious, even reading this story that was really just a trivial form of prevarication.

We had a duty to choose another path.
We still have that duty today.”

#stopanimaltesting #laikadog #neverforget

Slippery Slope ~ Second Chances Are So Few

Published October 2, 2022 by tindertender

Substances … nicotine, alcohol, cannabis, hemp …

The reason people like these is because, used responsibly, they fine tune the bodies fields to a frequency the inner essence is most comfortable with, in whatever moment the experience is.

Stress … anger … depression … sadness … pain … high energy, so much so the body becomes “over-amped” … the mind races, as well as the heart …

Differing substances affect the nervous system, the receptors in the body, and either calms, soothes or elevates.

Why some people are “addicted” to alcohol, or heroin, or that which is like an anti-depressant … or whatever the reason the nervous system and mind seek to ease its discomfort …

It’s an inner ‘seeker of balance’, a slippery slope, especially if not utilized as medicine, consciously.

They can heal, or destroy the essence of a human.

Often people move beyond balance into what “feels good” and this is only another form of imbalance.

As a Creator, your well-being is truly, most often, your creation or destruction.

Surface level thought about it is what leads to misuse, overuse, abuse.

As the doctor ”used to” say, taking the least amount of medicine needed is best for the body, the mind and overall health.

If choosing to be your own doctor, testing plant medicines, prescriptions or drink, choose the least amount that brings ease.

Don’t be in it to “get high”.

Balance in all things.

Action, reaction.

Cause and effect … effect and cause.

The Will must be strong and the self control steady … otherwise, it becomes a situation of not feeling right without it.

You see it in folks who take prescriptions for pain and mental balance.

You see it in folks who need to get high to get along.

You see it when they are without it.

You see it …

You know it.

On one level or another.

Personally, or in awareness.

Hard Truth

Published August 18, 2020 by tindertender

SOME of the galactics view humanity as a commodity … sorry folks, it’s true, and you can SEE THE TRUTH of it in this world … right now.

Honestly, how can anyone expect to be treated any differently when this is how they treat other life forms upon this planet.

We reap what we sow.

Treat the cattle and other life in an inhumane way … EAT them … and you’ll receive the same.


Published July 31, 2020 by tindertender

They keep experimenting on the children and people here!!! Bastards!!!

Africa to Become Testing Ground for “Trust Stamp” Vaccine Record and Biometric Digital Payment System

A new biometric identity platform partnered with the Gates-funded GAVI vaccine alliance and Mastercard will launch in West Africa and combine COVID-19 vaccinations, cashless payments, and potential law enforcement applications.

A biometric digital identity platform that “evolves just as you evolve” is set to be introduced in “low-income, remote communities” in West Africa thanks to a public-private partnership between the Bill Gates-backed GAVI vaccine alliance, Mastercard and the AI-powered “identity authentication” company, Trust Stamp.

The program, which was first launched in late 2018, will see Trust Stamp’s digital identity platform integrated into the GAVI-Mastercard “Wellness Pass,” a digital vaccination record and identity system that is also linked to Mastercard’s click-to-play system that powered by its AI and machine learning technology called NuData. Mastercard, in addition to professing its commitment to promoting “centralized record keeping of childhood immunization” also describes itself as a leader toward a “World Beyond Cash,” and its partnership with GAVI marks a novel approach towards linking a biometric digital identity system, vaccination records, and a payment system into a single cohesive platform. The effort, since its launch nearly two years ago, has been funded via $3.8 million in GAVI donor funds in addition to a matched donation of the same amount by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

In early June, GAVI reported that Mastercard’s Wellness Pass program would be adapted in response to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Around a month later, Mastercard announced that Trust Stamp’s biometric identity platform would be integrated into Wellness Pass as Trust Stamp’s system is capable of providing biometric identity in areas of the world lacking internet access or cellular connectivity and also does not require knowledge of an individual’s legal name or identity to function. The Wellness Program involving GAVI, Mastercard, and Trust Stamp will soon be launched in West Africa and will be coupled with a Covid-19 vaccination program once a vaccine becomes available.


Bill Gates, The Gates Foundation and ALL who participated in the illness, injury and death caused by injecting experimental vaccines into the human bioform must be held accountable for their treasonous HIGH CRIMES against humanity.

Abuse of Women

Published June 24, 2020 by tindertender

J. Marion Sims was a gynecologist in the 1800s who purchased Black women slaves and used them as guinea pigs for his untested surgical experiments. He repeatedly performed genital surgery on Black women WITHOUT ANESTHESIA because according to him, “Black women don’t feel pain.” Despite his inhumane tests on Black women, Sims was named “the father of modern gynecology”, and his statue currently stands right outside of the New York Academy of Medicine.

SOME statues really do need to come down.

But not the way the hypocrites are going about it.

They do not actually care.

They want the show, the photo ops.

May Sanity and the Goodness of people prevail.

ALL Lives Matter

Published June 24, 2020 by tindertender


Some tell these folks to be Italian Miners, which could very well be the case. I leave this here, as a reminder that men of various ethnic backgrounds have been treated in a manner unfit for a King, which all men who are righteous are.

May ALL men and their counterparts be treated as equals, none abused or used, but held up for their incredible contributions, justly.

Here is the updated info:

“Shortly after the Second World War, Italian emigration to Belgium, in particular to coal mines, assumed substantial dimensions, also favored by the “Italian-Belgium Protocol” signed in Rome on June 23, 1946 and updated on April 26, 1947 “for the transfer of 50,000 Italian miners to Belgium” at the rate of 2000 per week. In exchange, the Belgium government agrees to sell a minimum of 2,500 t monthly to Italy of coal per 1,000 immigrant miners. That agreement was called “MAN-CARBON”. The contract provides for 5 years of mining, with the mandatory obligation, under penalty of arrest, to make at least one.”



The Irish slave trade began when 30,000 Irish prisoners were sold as slaves to the New World. The King James I Proclamation of 1625 required Irish political prisoners be sent overseas and sold to English settlers in the West Indies. By the mid 1600s, the Irish were the main slaves sold to Antigua and Montserrat. At that time, 70% of the total population of Montserrat were Irish slaves.

Ireland quickly became the biggest source of human livestock for English merchants. The majority of the early slaves to the New World were actually white.

From 1641 to 1652, over 500,000 Irish were killed by the English and another 300,000 were sold as slaves. Ireland’s population fell from about 1,500,000 to 600,000 in one single decade. Families were ripped apart as the British did not allow Irish dads to take their wives and children with them across the Atlantic. This led to a helpless population of homeless women and children. Britain’s solution was to auction them off as well.

During the 1650s, over 100,000 Irish children between the ages of 10 and 14 were taken from their parents and sold as slaves in the West Indies, Virginia and New England. In this decade, 52,000 Irish (mostly women and children) were sold to Barbados and Virginia. Another 30,000 Irish men and women were also transported and sold to the highest bidder. In 1656, Cromwell ordered that 2000 Irish children be taken to Jamaica and sold as slaves to English settlers.

Many people today will avoid calling the Irish slaves what they truly were: Slaves. They’ll come up with terms like “Indentured Servants” to describe what occurred to the Irish. However, in most cases from the 17th and 18th centuries, Irish slaves were nothing more than human cattle.

As an example, the African slave trade was just beginning during this same period. It is well recorded that African slaves, not tainted with the stain of the hated Catholic theology and more expensive to purchase, were often treated far better than their Irish counterparts.

African slaves were very expensive during the late 1600s (50 Sterling). Irish slaves came cheap (no more than 5 Sterling). If a planter whipped or branded or beat an Irish slave to death, it was never a crime. A death was a monetary setback, but far cheaper than killing a more expensive African. The English masters quickly began breeding the Irish women for both their own personal pleasure and for greater profit. Children of slaves were themselves slaves, which increased the size of the master’s free workforce. Even if an Irish woman somehow obtained her freedom, her kids would remain slaves of her master. Thus, Irish moms, even with this new found emancipation, would seldom abandon their kids and would remain in servitude.

In time, the English thought of a better way to use these women (in many cases, girls as young as 12) to increase their market share: The settlers began to breed Irish women and girls with African men to produce slaves with a distinct complexion. These new “mulatto” slaves brought a higher price than Irish livestock and, likewise, enabled the settlers to save money rather than purchase new African slaves. This practice of interbreeding Irish females with African men went on for several decades and was so widespread that, in 1681, legislation was passed “forbidding the practice of mating Irish slave women to African slave men for the purpose of producing slaves for sale.” In short, it was stopped only because it interfered with the profits of a large slave transport company.

England continued to ship tens of thousands of Irish slaves for more than a century. Records state that, after the 1798 Irish Rebellion, thousands of Irish slaves were sold to both America and Australia. There were horrible abuses of both African and Irish captives. One British ship even dumped 1,302 slaves into the Atlantic Ocean so that the crew would have plenty of food to eat.

There is little question that the Irish experienced the horrors of slavery as much (if not more in the 17th Century) as the Africans did. There is, also, very little question that those brown, tanned faces you witness in your travels to the West Indies are very likely a combination of African and Irish ancestry. In 1839, Britain finally decided on its own to end its participation in Satan’s highway to hell and stopped transporting slaves. While their decision did not stop pirates from doing what they desired, the new law slowly concluded THIS chapter of nightmarish Irish misery.

But, if anyone, black or white, believes that slavery was only an African experience, then they’ve got it completely wrong.

Irish slavery is a subject worth remembering, not erasing from our memories. — in Ireland (country).

Negative Talk

Published May 22, 2020 by tindertender

If someone says to you, “I’ve got bad news for you” trying to dampen your vibe, bring you down, lowering your power source, DO NOT give away your power to these ones. Their bad news is meant to do just that. Bring you down.

If someone tells you you are disgusting, or ugly, or undesirable, know that this ugliness is dwelling within them, and they simply cannot see your light. They see themselves in everything and everyone, they will point it out saying it is yours, and say you must fix it … but only the mirror can fix itself, the reflection cannot change it.

Some people rest within the safety of a conceived sense of ‘self-righteousness’. They believe themselves to be better than others, they cannot see themselves yet, so they cannot see others yet. The high horse is an easy ride. Wait, they will be bucked off eventually.

The self-righteous have no authority or power to judge you, unless you give that power to them. It is YOUR power they want to use to abuse you with.

Take what is said as a grain of salt, small, and once wet, dissolves.

Do NOT give others permission to write, or rewrite your story. Only you have the insight to reveal and know what resonates with your Soul, with your Heart.

Shine your light so brightly that those who wish to dim it fail, resoundingly.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@mischievous_penguins

“Tax Everything”, said the Politician

Published January 27, 2020 by tindertender

Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table,
At which he’s fed.

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work, Tax his pay, He works for peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries Tax his tears.

Tax his car, Tax his gas, Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has Then let him know
That you won’t be done Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers; Then tax him some more, Tax him till He’s good and sore.

Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he’s laid…

Put these words Upon his tomb, Taxes drove me to my doom…’

When he’s gone, Do not relax, Its time to apply The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

CDL license Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Dog License Tax

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel Permit Tax

Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)

Gross Receipts Tax

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax

Inventory Tax

IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Personal Property Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Service Charge Tax

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Sales Tax

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Utility Taxes

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax


Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the heck happened? Can you spell ‘politicians?’

—Charley Reese

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