For nearly two decades my sensitivity has been increasing for all life. Six years ago I woke at three a.m. and for some odd reason I flipped to YouTube and watched a massive bull being slaughtered.
He was majestic, powerful, and determined to live. It took five full grown men to force him into the stall, where they trapped him and slit his throat. I watched as the life drained from him.
It scarred me. I could not bring myself to eat meat afterward, especially red meat … feeling the horror of it in every fiber of me.
Today, six years after cutting meat entirely from my diet, I consumed a new york steak.
When the thought first rose in me this afternoon I asked out loud, how can I possibly eat such a thing, knowing this powerful beast wanted to live just as much as I … a powerful animal that had never consumed flesh.
The thought came to me that I needed to toughen my gentle heart, that I needed to balance the gentleness with its polarity, even if only slightly.
Again I asked aloud, how can I possibly eat this without feeling guilty? I got the impression my body needed it, the energy of it.
The answer came fairly quickly.
Eat the mighty bull … eat the mighty bull and allow its power, it’s strength, and it’s desire to live infuse with my own being.
So I stated over and over again …
Eat the Mighty Bull … Eat the Mighty Bull … bond with it’s life force and allow it to live on, through me … strengthening me.
Now, the bull and I are one.
After six years without it, it should be quite evident the effect it will have upon my being, my body, my mind, my energy.
I love the mighty bull … it is my brother, my nourisher, my sustainer … this is how I now choose to view it … with honor, and deep gratitude.
Of course … it might not sit well with me after more thought. It will be interesting to see how this progresses.
UPDATE: Every being wants to live, none wish to die. Knowing this how can I harm a being simply for my own selfish need? Even the simple purchase of it, which someone else has done the harm to, is doing a wrong against life. Compassion takes courage. Love must be cultivated in heart and include all portions of life. It will be another very long time, if ever, I consume flesh.
It is important to be aware of these “urgings” … it is a slippery slope, this line between having compassion for all life, and participating in its destruction.
Mass hypnotism and rote learning has taught us to have disregard for any life but our own.
Selfishness is bred into the mind, and it comes from the unseen as well as those who are in body supporting the narrative.
Yes, I consumed a portion of the Mighty Bull. And I thank him for giving me this current understanding, affirming my original decision to end my consumption.
The energy of the Mighty Bull is chaotic. I sense a sort of sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and my attitude has become agitated.
Now I will work towards cleansing and purifying my energetic field, drinking a lot of water … for I know not yet the techniques others utilize.
Thank you Mighty Bull, for sharing your message and desire for life with me. I will do my best to honor you.