Years ago something happened to me, it took away the ability to have a personal relationship. I, at times, feel as though I have been robbed, that a thief came into my life and stripped this capacity from me. Sometimes I think it would be nice to share with someone, to be held … but truthfully, that is the extent of it, all of the other drama and energies spent, I now feel are better used elsewhere. So back and forth I go with this thought. Missing being close, and then realizing I am close to so much more now days instead.
I recently replied to a blog someone wrote about sex. They wrote that if you don’t get it, you lose the desire for it, you lose the ability to think clearly, blah blah blah. The response to my reply was pretty amazing … quite a few women stated that it sounded like “you can’t get it”. Well, I can, I simply am so over that shallow chasing of the elusive dream. Momentary (whether the evening, the year, or years) pleasure, and the compromising in order to ensure someone else has no complaint … argh!!! Please …
My ex-husband still lives here, and even he is kind of in my space. If I want to shout to the walls, or cry and howl at the moon, I must face his opinion and questions about whether I should get on medication. See, that little thing right there, is why I do not choose to have relationship. I do not live for someone else’s opinion on who I should be, or what I should be like.
That being said, I do miss the hugs. The church I attended in my last home town was great for that fact (one of the many great things). Every one hugged, it was a welcoming and a departure thing. I loved the connection and the freedom to hug someone without that “icky” uncomfortable, too close feeling.
I also recognize that things never stay the same.
Someday there will be another shift, I am hoping a GREAT BIG one!!! Paranoia over being touched has gone rampant. People feel afraid that if they allow a touch, they’re “asking for it”, then there are those who feel they will “get it” if someone allows a hug, well, they only take privileges that are not granted.
This world is screwed up from the top down. This is how it works, yes … from the top down. We see it in corrupt governments imposing corrupt rules and regulations, we see it in our justice systems where the victim is further victimized and innocent people are punished, we see it in families which allow their children to be abused, and then we see it in ourselves, as bad habits which we may find difficult to break. My hope is that the cycle of all this drama and harm stops with this generation, Right Now.
If we all awaken to the fact that we have been playing rolls created by sick minds, and if we choose to step out and away, breaking free from this sinister game, and do the work to break these “habits”, it WILL change. However, only if we do the work, and look deep within our self to see where the connection has been broken.
Change does not happen in the fight to alter others beliefs. Change happens when the energies to do that fight are withdrawn and utilized for peace … peace in our own minds and lives. This then ripples out like that perfect rain drop when it falls on a body of water, touching other ripples caused by other rain drops. A battle is not needed to win this fight, only a steady stream of love, one drop at a time.
Show them how it is done.
There are many critics now days, in ALL areas of life. I have have received a private message from one who wants to “connect”, only so they could throw an abundance of foul insult and degrading rhetoric into words. Of course I did not accept, however it amazes me that this is the energy that this individual chooses to put out there.
When we find ourselves faced with a communication laced with profanity and insult, it is important to shut it down immediately. Do not give that language room in your mind. It can be difficult, for I myself have had the experience of being backed into a wall with someone physically in my face screaming these hurtful and harmful words, performing damaging deeds.
They are possessed with an evil that lurks in the ether, and truly, I do not think they even know this. When they come at you, hurting you, simply remember that it is your light and your inner strength they hate, and they will try to break you … do not let them.
Shine your light so bright! Smile at them when they are hurtful, delete the comment before reading the whole thing, take away the power of this crazy vulgar mess … for it is using YOUR power to hurt you, do not let them have it. It belongs to you, and you have been, and must continue, to use it bringing additional light into the world.
You have within you the power to change the world, and you are doing just that. These mean and hurtful comments and actions … the people who spew them out there like liquid dung, straight from the mouths and bodies … they know, they see your light, and it infuriates them. But you are strong, and no matter what comes your way, the light you shine will assist others in being brave enough to follow suit, for they too have this beautiful light within.
Show them how it is done. Practice. No one said it would be easy, but this is why you are here. Deep within you, you know this to be the truth.
From one who knows …
Taking time to allow the brain to create beauty is essential for remaining balanced. Harmony, in our actions and in our endeavors, creates health.
Take responsibility for the energy you bring ~ in ALL situations.
At some point, all of us will most likely feel it. I know of one personally who did not have it touch life until later in years, however, it came, nonetheless.
No one is immune to the swing of the pendulum. None of us are alone in the reality that all must experience these shifts.
True, great love can bring great despair, but I am grateful for those who allow it in their lives, for it is they, who have truly lived. It is difficult to pull through these dark times. A positive mind set and outlook doesn’t always seem to get us where we would like to be. With patience, effort and perseverance, things will shift.
I wonder if sometimes the pain of it all simply cause us to give in to the suffering. I know in my personal experience, for a time, I did indeed give in. I lost hope. But you see, I LOVE life, and so I waited, stretching my capacity to endure even the hardest of times. And the smog of that drenching and suffocating gloom lifted.
Patience is key to so much of everything. Things do not always change because we want them to. No, they become new when divinity sees it is time, for the alchemy of our soul depends on these experiences.
Trust the process.
Sometimes, willingly stepping out from our comfort zone, rather than holding with that death grip onto what we feel “okay” with, we allow for greater good to enter our lives. At times, it could appear as though we are taking steps backward … know that this is the way of change, it may not have any resemblance to what you’ve become accustomed to.
With positive mind set, open eyes and heart, willingness to see the bigger reality of the moment, we can see that letting go is often the only true way of holding onto that which has the most value … LOVE ~ for self, for others, for the world.
I wish humanity would learn to respect each other and the values each culture carries. If they are NOT hurting anyone or the land, they should be free. If the ARE hurting people and the land, they should be jailed, and taught a better way.