As a human, our bodies are large antennae, amplifying the energies we ‘allow’ to flow through our mind, our heart. We are instruments of either the light or the dark, doing good things, or otherwise.
When we are in the midst of addictive behaviors, we open ourself, and become vulnerable to those who wish to ‘command’ our thoughts and actions.
Often, when we experience someone berating us, abusing us, doing things that destroy our inner value system, these are not person to person attacks … although they appear to be. It is the result of one party being controlled, and the negative is permitted, many times simply because a person is unwitting of the interference, and actually embrace the evil deeds, claiming the actions and thoughts as their own, thinking the harm they do is due to their power alone, not understanding they are permitting themselves to be used as puppet to perform deeds that they alone will pay and suffer for, when they are discovered.
What appears to be strong is actually weak. What appears to be weak, is actually strong, which is why those evil ones in the invisible world wish to have them squashed, their spirits shattered. They use the easily controlled to perform vile acts to gain its own desired end.
While the ones damaging believe themselves to be strong, and are often protected by the laws meant to stop them, the world believes they are strong. But appearances, what seems to be real, is not.
It’s a power play. Are you allowing your self to be played by them? Do you care? Is the rush of permitting your self to be vile an even exchange for your integrity, morality … for your very soul?
Have you forgotten love? Have you quick fighting for its prevalence?
What seems to be your own decisions may not be … it is crucial to understand whether the actual act, matches your heart.
Don’t be a pawn. Step into your power and know there is something far more powerful that the evil you are being pushed to perform.
Fight dammit! Fight like your soul depends on it, because it does.
You are a weapon, don’t allow yourself to be manipulated for hurtful deeds of any kind. It truly does depend on your inner fortitude… yours, and yours alone … in combination with the others who stand firm.
It appears as though darkness is prevailing, over powering everything that is good … that which brings health, and abundant joy for all.
It visits us in our sleep, where we are most vulnerable, and it exercises its power over our psyche. This is the time when it can fully reach the depths of our consciousness. It will gift us with night sweats, cold terrors, disruptions and warping to our thought creations of the day.
The threat of doom, some uncontrolled force that demolishes happiness and safety, is ever present … in minds, hearts, and the actions we see taking place in this world.
Our nervous system may actually be affected by these transmitted thought forms into the depths of our consciousness. The body might quake, uncontrolled shivers of the body, numbness, or tingling may occur. A fear that something horrible is happening with the functioning of the body, the heart, yet after many tests nothing may be found out of order.
Psychic attacks are very real. There are those who do so unintentionally, they may not even be aware this activity is part of their daily energy uses. There are some who purposefully use spell casting, or internal, mental thought form creation and sending. Some may actually be able to astral travel right to your bed, physically able to touch you, and definitely able to distort your energy, affecting your emotional well being.
I’ve always been of the mind to remain open, to allow people, Spirit, to present itself fully, without hinderance. I desire to know them, just as much as I desire to know my own energy fluctuations, and sharing. Being open allows a deeper understanding, and also risks entrapment. It’s a slippery slope. Be aware.
I admit, it is frightening, and anyone who says the power of unseen forces is not frightening is fooling themselves, as they think they actually have some sort of control. The Control they experience, I believe, is simply ‘granted’ to them, as they assist in the manipulations of the aethers …. affecting change that would not otherwise occur. This disruption serves the greater plan, of which they may not even be aware.
As polarity closes, as time comes closer to collapse and restart, reboot if you will, everything is gaining in intensity. The ‘game’ is becoming much more serious, as the end is near, meaning the new beginning is also near.
There are two scenarios to this story. In one, everything and everyone comes under control of the one who already has so much power, manipulations of individual life roles, how this affects familial units, acquaintances, the functionings of cities, states, and even countries. The intertwining is severe. In the other, everything and everyone is set free of this control, where they can finally stop BEing used for adverse affects and circumstances.
This cooperation goes much deeper than fear, for if anyone cares to ‘buck the system’ not only would they suffer tremendously, those they love, things they love could be destroyed or harmed greatly, and so they live walking on egg shells, hoping their ‘work’ is sufficient to keep them from being completely obliterated from existence … or from becoming a permanent fixture in the pain creation department.
Perhaps they do not see a way out, perhaps there is none. Perhaps all we have to comfort us is the power of our imagination, the only thing that can ease the current cycle symptoms. Perhaps even this can be stripped from the mind, so all that remains is the hard truth of manipulated and created pain and fear. No one wants this, everyone will do what is required to prevent it … sometimes, even if it means diverting the flow to an innocent, an unsuspecting distraction.
One thing is certain, ALL beings, on ALL levels, know the time is coming in which we will know without doubt what our reality will be, even if it is subconscious.
The big shots, the ones who have been pulling the strings behind scenes are coming out of the wood work. They are shifting gears and readying for the intensity about to occur, and everyone will know soon enough just who it is that has been steering their lives, who has been in control of the permissions, and the denials. Everyone will know who expects them to bow …. and they will suffer should they not.
What is the solution to such a dire and impending future?
We see that the human trafficking and pedophiles are being called out and hindered. My thoughts on this is that this exposure is being allowed by the string puller, just so when the time comes, all will know what fate awaits them should they not comply … and often, should they, for all people are simply energy sources, used to create more power.
Like cattle, our feelings are of little consequence. It’s a necessity to keep things as they have been, and to create a potential that is completely binding.
If you pray, if you believe in Divinity, big time prayer won’t hurt a bit. For some of us, that may not be sufficient.
“I remember before I tried meth, I asked people what it was like. They said “it’s like a burst of energy, a rush that takes your breath, it’s the best feeling ever, I don’t know how to explain it really.’ And they were right, but now if someone were to ever ask me what it’s like, I would tell them..
‘It’s like spending every single penny you ever had, on drugs.
It’s like going days without eating even though you were starving, but you needed dope more.
It’s like having to lie to every family and friend you had ever had.
It’s like waking up hating yourself from the shame and guilt.
It’s like going into withdrawals every 8 hours unless you had more dope to do. (And you usually didn’t)
It’s like never attending any family event because you were too high or too sick.
It’s like everyone eventually stopped inviting you to events. And even talking to you.
It’s like crying yourself to sleep every single night because your children got taken.
It’s like knowing you have one more chance to get better before your child gets adopted and still choosing that bag.
It’s like asking others how your own blood child is doing.
It’s watching everyone around you succeed and yet you’re crumbling.
It’s like everything was on your drug dealers time. If they said five hours. You’ll wait five hours in a car.
It’s like stealing everything worth value for dope. No matter how sentimental it was to you, or someone else.
It’s like losing so much weight you can’t fit into any of your clothes.
It’s like losing everything you’ve ever owned in your entire life.
It’s like nobody believing a word you said, even if it was the truth.
It’s like being a prisoner inside your own head.
It’s like contemplating suicide every single day.
It’s like never being scared to die, because that’s what you wanted.
It’s like trying to shut your brain up for even five minutes. It was worth that little time of peace.
It’s like seeing your family cry for you to stop, only for you to leave and go get high. Because stopping wasn’t an option. It wasn’t possible.
It’s like you’d do absolutely anything for more. And you did.
It’s like everyone hating you no matter where you went, because they knew you were a drug addict.
You’ll miss out on your children and they’ll be grown before you Know it. You’d kill for your child and do any and everything for them yet you won’t be able to get clean for them and we actually turn out to be the ones who hurt them the most.
It’s like overdosing and going to get high right after.
It’s like walking into rehab 100 pounds with the clothes on your back and being scared to death.
It’s like giving your ENTIRE LIFE AWAY.
So if you’re ever curious like I was, please at least know the truth. CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, and it WILL KILL YOU TOO”
** Below, Added by me … learned through experience …
Even when you heal, they will still see you as that being who allowed this evil thing steal your mind, your body, and your soul. And they will insist you carry the shame if it, rather than embrace the new you, the new you that you fought long and hard for. The you, that everyone gave up on, except you. And you will have to face the fact they can no longer be in your world. Not because of addiction, because it is gone now. But because they cannot see you as anything other than the one who suffered, and caused suffering. Addiction is a very lonely, hard road. Because once you turn from those who claim to love you, their love becomes tainted, and will rarely be pure again. They will never see the new you, no matter how much time goes by in which you have poured every ounce of effort into a new and improved you. And so, they must be released, along with the shame and self loathing, because they will always expect you to embrace this shame and self loathing, and they will help you by soul punching you with their judgement, never ending judgement.
It is a true blessing when others who have healed, or helped others heal, share their truest compassion for you. When you were certain this life would be finished, walking solo all the rest of your days.
When we begin to support and foster healing and positive change in our life, being steadfast, true, showing Creator we are serious about living this life right (this will take time) … He will send you others who will share experience, compassion and care, which will facilitate continued growth and healing … at which point your own journey will help facilitate healing in others, as well.
I turn off the floor lamp and walk around lighting the evening candles. I tell Alexa to play Soldeggio frequency station and stand in the middle of my living room.
I begin to do stretches and bends, breathing deliberately, intently. My body warms, my tension lifts.
The burning sage has filled the room with its Smokey aroma. I open the door and let it escape. I light some cedar and smudge myself, allowing the room to receive its healing properties as well.
A message arrives. “Look around. This is your life, what do you see?”
My eyes rest on every item. Everything on the wall has a memory, an event, a creation moment. Everything has meaning. I notice hearts everywhere, books galore, a totem pole right in my living room … all treasured items.
Father Time, Love, Friends, Protectors, sacred items significant to intension and prayer. Candles lit in honor of the night, gentle glow, ease of mind.
I speak out my prayer, sincere, earnest. I ask to be led to the lesson in this current situation, I desire to learn and am eager to understand.
It seems time is of the essence. Old patterns and habitual scenarios must be eliminated. All that hooks the attention and drags the pure energies downward must be cast aside.
The health and wellness of my own being, in my own relation with Creator, and all that IS, must come first. When this becomes healthy once more, all toxins attached to energy will dissipate.
I see hopes, and dreams … those that have been, and those yet to be. I see joy and peace, I see comfort and ease. I see that which I am grateful for, the wonders of being, and I surround myself with these memories, thought provoking potentials.
Any moment I can DO … and I can choose a different form of doing, such as this writing.
It isn’t just “stuff” although I could live without it. It reminds me of what I find meaning in, what I wish to create more of in this life, it helps me remember the song of my heart.
I envision the Goddess Mother cradling the earth to her stomach, loving it, caressing it. I say, “Thank you Mother”. I think on the missing and murdered indigenous women, indeed, all of the women who have suffered battery and death. I give them my heart.
The whole world is crazy, and it is all in my head.
People suffering “madness”, feeling like they are the only “sane” ones on the planet.
What does one do to treat self on a Saturday? Visit the Mystery Gallery, that’s what.
I decided to purchase a ring and necklace pair. Labordorite to be exact.
Intuition and intellect are balanced by Labradorite, illusions are dispelled and true intentions are seen more easily with its use. Labradorite is also very protective against negative energies, balancing, strengthening and protecting the aura and sealing the aura from energy leaks. https://www.madagascarminerals.com/metaphysical_guide_of_labrador.cfm
I roamed around and thought again … that was a pretty severe experience, and since no one else is in a position to do it, I decided I would double my pleasure and purchase another couple items. Amethyst, and a ‘chip’ companion necklace to create a duo.
Amethyst is a powerful and protective stone. It guards against psychic attack, transmuting the energy into love and protecting the wearer from all types of harm, including geopathic or electromagnetic stress and ill wishes from others. https://www.charmsoflight.com/amethyst-healing-properties
For years now it has been my pleasure to be the one spoiling me. I’ve learned how to caress my sore spots, to look inside myself and forgive past errors, to excuse those who’s pain will not allow them to see changes made over the last two decades, and love myself as no other could.
I am happy with the friend I’ve become to me, rather than the ‘warden’ I once was, divvying out punishment this twisted world narrated as deserved.
No … the hurts will not come from me … but I will tenderly care for the hurts inflicted by others.
Tonight I am taking myself out for a Sound Bath of singing crystal and Tibetan brass bowls, chimes, and the grand piano. Yes, I deserve to go out for a good time … it’s okay to state this … we all deserve to be kind to ourselves, maybe even should.
So I’m going to get back on track, right where I was prior to two weeks ago. I’m going to love me, like no one has ever loved me.
Then I’m going to love everyone else … intensely … although some will need to remain at a distance.
Nope, the enemy will never ‘permanently’ stifle the light and love I’m pouring forth. Delay for a time … perhaps. Even change the flavor slightly, sure, to which I am grateful and say thank you for assisting me in being more than I was before.
It wouldn’t happen without you …
… and this is how you change an attack into a blessing. One way anyhow.
When your senses are telling you something is off, the words do not match the energy, the too good to be true verbiage is a line, a show, an act, test it …. see what shows up.
By test, I mean check what your thoughts are of the person, people … What do you see in them, how does the relationship make you feel? Do you have honor for their struggles in your heart, are you working behind scenes to ensure they get what they deserve? Wordwise, your ideas and theirs may match, but don’t give into the every whim of the opposite party, and watch as the truth explodes from them.
I was quite surprised at the years long hidden venom … and SO glad it was discovered in truth now, rather than later.
They no longer have to hide their true feelings, they no longer need to lie … a gift to them, from ME.
But they will … miserable people will always find someone to blame. They will always say others had a better start in life, they will always say others never gave enough, and they will always put some sort of value to it, and then attempt to extract payment.
It’s all a lie to make themselves feel better. And they’ll build … or birth … a posse, and teach them the story of hate, the supposed torment of their youth, based on misperceptions and hurt feelings and they will train them to also try and extract payment.
It’s too bad how some folks teach their kids to believe rumor, rather than what they experience for themselves. They will expect others to eat their weaved storyline, and they do … and they continue the fraud.
Generational cycles of misperception and unhealed triggers, Perceived wrongs done. A sincere effort to extract an imaginary debt owed, perpetuating harm in the world …
This is the reality many choose.
The rest of us, well, we have to move on away from that toxic timeline … leave them to it, to swim in their suffering, and hope someday they might have courage and be willing to do the real inner work of healing personal triggers, rather than blaming the world every time one gets flipped.
The grass is always greener on the other side … so they attempt to burn it down, rather than make friends and share ideas.
These are the perfect, gaslighting narcissists. Some folks pour energy into how well they can manipulate others … some simply try to Love to the best of their ability. It usually looks like the gaslighting narcissist gets the upper hand, but Spiritually, they are injured and/or dead Souls.
May they actually get a life of value … relationships, not stuff. And may they actually be brave enough to see the childish tantrums they throw and decide to grow up, without need to justify their vile behaviors.
I am SO glad I am not living with this putrid hate and weird need for some type of revenge inside of me. My hope is they will not get ill from containing all of this poison inside of them. But they might … and I’m sure they’ll find someone to blame there too … probably God this time.
1 Uncooked Portobello Mushroom = 1 Smoked Cigarette. Dr. Andrew Weil, a well-known holistic and medical doctor, strongly advises cooking all mushrooms very well at high temperatures to mitigate the carcinogenic effect of agaritine (4). The writers of Vegetarian Times also cite a potential carcinogen called hydrazine, found in portobellos, but again, this compound is easily cooked out using normal cooking methods (5).
Cooked, tho:Portobello mushrooms (and criminis), like so many other mushrooms, have a rich array of vitamins and nutrients that boost your immune system, including fighting and preventing certain cancers. They are rich in some of the B vitamins – riboflavin, niacin (vitamin B3), and pantothenic acid. Portobello mushrooms offer high antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties while remaining low fat, low carb, and low calorie (1). They’re also an excellent source of selenium, a critical mineral that helps the human body produce thyroid hormones, supports the immune system, and offers protection against heart disease (3).https://blog.kettleandfire.com/portobello-mushroom-nutrition/
Mushrooms, even common button mushrooms, contain traces of carcinogenic compounds in raw form. The same toxin, hydrazine, is also found in portobello mushrooms, and shiitake mushrooms contain a naturally occurring fomaldehyde. Both chemicals are heat-sensitive and abolished upon exposure to heat. You might think nothing of eating a few slices of button mushrooms raw, but to get the anti-cancer effects of mushrooms, eat them cooked.https://www.vegetariantimes.com/skills/4-plant-foods-you-should-cook-before-eating
What are the documented effects of agaritine? Agaritine has been proven to form convenient bonds with DNA through enzymatic activation to form a mutagenic aganent and when we see this happening, most people jump straight to one thought: cancer. With this documented property, we can now look at this compound’s ability to cause or prevent cancer. So, which is it? It turns out, that it does both.https://www.fixyourgut.com/portabella-mushrooms-paul-stamets-joe-rogan/