It truly does feel like a reunion. The energies have been a little edgier lately, more masculine. I’m thinking it is the reintegration of the Shadow Self. Perhaps you are feeling it too?
As I sat in the bath I cried. The realization hit me hard and I called out to TMH asking, “Why do I have to die every time I fall in love?”
Three times in life I have loved a man deeply.
The first, aged 15-17, beat me, choked me, raped me, all under the nose of my “guardians” for he mooched his way under the roof and into security.
The second 18-20, innocent, sweet, and a slave to his phallus. I came home after work to find him and his ex on the sofa nearly naked. A heart shattering. Blind faith destroyed. Trust obliterated.
The third, aged 24-31, I won’t go into detail. Infidelity. A slave to his phallus. A moving out. Dog murdered, job lost, homeless, living in car.
It’s obvious someone cursed me. That every time I loved, I would also be shattered.
I’ve determined I’m no longer willing to “die” for love of a man. He has proven himself unworthy of the essence herein. I connect to TMH, my King of the highest heavenly mountain, and deny the rest.
After 22 years of conscious attack within the field of awareness (and 37 years prior of sleeper attack) I woke this morning feeling as tho I had been eclipsed out of their reach. I thought, it’s all well and good.
Solitude in my life, solitude in my mind. I need no ripples in my waters made by an other who feels the need to dictate my moves, my mood, my life. There is no value in such a connection and I’m not willing to pay the price. It simply isn’t an equal give and take. It’s parasitical, and I won’t feed into it any more.
I choose me. I am worthy of the value of the gift TMH has given ME. It’s weird how some say,”bring all that is yours as tho it is mine.”
I say, if you were worthy of such a gift TMH would have bestowed it upon you.
But he didn’t. He gave it to me.
Pawing … energetically, physically, by those who desire to TAKE the gift from me, to claim it, to control it, to flaunt the wealth of it to their friends… to hurt the source and play with hoes draining the essence, dressing up in the energy, prancing about as a lord.
No.
No more.
I choose me.
I choose to be eclipsed out of this energy.
TMH knows where I’m at if he needs me. If our family, true blue, needs me they know where I am.
I no longer entertain parasites who cannot win the battle with the snake they must live with.
I’ve no need.
TMH has provided.
And the whispered questions of “Who will be with the woman?” Go unanswered.
Hidden harvesters of the Stars, who don’t abide in Love.
The topics he touches on are important.
I AM calling upon my Inner Mother, Source of creation
I AM a river of thy Divine Love
I AM Abundance
I AM lighting the path for all to see
I AM watering you with Love, wisdom and power
Within each and every breath I nourish you
I AM THAT I AM
I AM the Divine Mother
Excerpts from “Spring and Easter”, Open your heart to the Sun ~ The Way of the Sun ~
White Eagle’s teaching for the festivals of the year
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… man has been put into a physical body in order to learn to free himself from the bondage of matter and to fill the physical life with the beauty, happiness, well-being and health that God intends him to have. In other words, to attain mastery over physical matter. By self-discipline, by subjugation of the lower instincts the selfishness which is the flesh, and man can be reborn into the spirit. In time the spirit will command the whole earth and the golden age will come on earth.
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“He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do …”
Every man has this gift within him, but the creative power which man has to change himself, to change the world, is not loud, noisy, and quarrelsome – it is the humble, gentle, loving spirit. It is the gentle spirit of Christ which you all have within you which is the power that performs miracles.
This… is what will save mankind, not the crucifixion of the Master on a cross, but the crucifixion of the lower self and the release of the glorious son of God in man.
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This is a lesson which Easter has to teach. It is a time of sweet surrender to the light and beauty of the spirit; and within this surrender comes the great outpouring from the Son, Christ, to bless the child of God.
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… you can only arrive at constant renewal by cultivating awareness and faith in God.
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Understand that life itself is the Son in you, and the Son is the Christ spirit. The real you, the essence of you … is part of the Christ spirit, for you are not the little earthly personality that you think you are. You came from God, you are part of God, you are God’s seed.
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A master is one who has by hard work and self-discipline and divine love in himself – and in giving his divine love, giving all gentleness and kindness to his brethren – attained to a degree of mastery of matter. You too have to learn how to rise in spirit and command flesh.
You are now in the process of crucifixion. It is very painful, your life may be hard, you get weary of the burden, and the cross you bear is more than you can stand sometimes; but it is only the power of the spirit of Christ within you that will enable you to rise and carry that burden as though it did not exist. This is for you, it is for everyone on this earth plane, to understand, and to set to work to develop more and more this divine love in the heart.
Through development of divine love in the heart, wisdom comes, knowledge comes. With the coming of knowledge and wisdom and love the whole being of man will be suffused with the power of heaven.
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Some people think that love is purely an emotion and that therefore the voice of love cannot satisfy their reason; but love in its divine sense completely satisfies. And when fully developed in man it can raise him from the valley to the heights, giving him a range of vision which is only possible from the apex of the mountain.
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‘Salvation’ is the true word to describe the mission of the Christ spirit; for when the Christ spirit becomes alive in man, man is literally saved from his sins; he lives in the light, and brings the light into the world. Once the Christ quickens within him, the world can no longer touch him. This is what salvation means – not salvation through belief in one particular man, but salvation by reason of the Christ love within man himself. This will forbid him to wage war against his brother or to treat his brother as less than himself; but will inspire him to words and actions of kindness and consideration, to work for God in his daily life, to live in consciousness of a glory which is above, around and within him, and in all life. This is salvation by Christ. Always the Lord of this earth, the Sun, the Son who is the savior of mankind, quickens the life of the spirit in man.
Flush the body,
Flush the energy.
Water holds memory.
Water holds energy.
If the energy of the body has been disrupted, or interfered with by some technology, it can become dense, dark, or chaotic.
The body is mostly water.
It affects to mental body, the emotional body.
To clear, the waters of the body need to be flushed, replaced.
Pour it in, until it pours out of you.
Don’t complain about bathroom breaks.
Water is our friend.
I have found that after pouring in (and out) 2-3, 20 oz waters, the energies begin to clear.
Sometimes while sleeping, energies from an unknown source are planted into the bioform. It comes into the armpits, the heart, solar plexus and root chakras. These energies are not yours. It’s a “dressing” someone wishes you to be seen as.
33 years ago I was in relationship with an older man. We were together for 7 years, I thought we would be married … instead he had an affair and even bought her a house, he was bored with me.
At first, I was extremely hurt, angry, betrayed. I questioned my value, once again, as it was rejected by one I loved, once again.
I had to move out, I lost my job, my dog was murdered, and I became homeless, living in my car. It was an extreme low point in my life.
Beginning: I had deep love for a man who could not love me.
Middle: I worked through my jealousy and hurt, found that love still existed in my heart for him.
Present: He is my best friend, longest known friend, once lover, now brother, and guardian.
Love does not end, unless we choose to kill it. Even through betrayal and abandonment, if we can remember the love, nurture it even when our heart is breaking, the love will transform, become something else, different, yet still powerful.
When our heart breaks, it is only expanding … and trust me, I know how it can put one into a spiritual dark well, and it can take a long time to climb out into the sun once more …. but expand, you will.
If you have been betrayed, rise above it and remember the love. Never forget the love. Perhaps this one is not meant to be lover, but is more compatible as friend. And should they choose to walk away, release them …. it brought necessary growth, in disguise.
My longest known friend? He now considers me to be his best friend. And I’m living in the house he bought for the woman who interjected herself into my relationship. And she knows I’m living here …..
It does not pay to break up relations. It does no good on the karmic trail to cause heart break for a sister, or brother. It does not do any good for self to take take take from another. It only prolongs the suffering that must come from such actions.
Be aware. Take care. Remember the love, regardless of those who bring suffering.
The controllers of this world subliminally program minds to perpetuate situations of suffering. We must not allow them to maintain this control.
Remember the love, feed its memory.
Do not attach to the suffering, for it is you who generates the energy of sadness and it is you who are feasted upon by the energetic vampires when you do.
As individual, we are the only one we will share every moment of this life with. (Besides our Higher Source). Sometimes, it is we who are the only kind person around.
If we’ve been trained to believe tending to self is selfish, we will neglect self … our best friend in the world. Often, the only one who will pick us up when we fall. (S)He deserves the utmost care any most precious and loyal friend deserves. Don’t wait for someone else to treat you kindly. It rarely comes.
Some people say you should pay yourself first, putting a few bucks in the bank.
Your cup needs this same deposit in order for you to continue pouring kindness out for others.
Pain.
It can drown a person.
It will stuff them into a deep, dark, moist pit of a well, with smooth walls and no ladder or rope, a hell.
The emotional darkness can become overwhelming.
How long we decide to stay is up to us.
Expanding beyond the trauma, to encompass it rather than being drowned by it is a challenge.
It feels like dying, because it is.
A dying of that which was, in order to expand into something, someone, new.
Over and over again, this expansion occurs,
Until finally the pain is surrounded, encompassed.
Now, outside of the pain, you can see it more clearly.
And dismantling it, healing it, becomes possible.
But first,
Death.
And courage,
To face a new dawn.
Starting each day I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair so that we can know each other better.
I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view, and discover the least threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we both are growing and changing in a hundred different ways.
I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection from you until I am perfect…..so….you’re safe…….
opensenseme 