Love

All posts tagged Love

Intimate Connection

Published August 18, 2019 by tindertender

My head is on the pillow and my eyes are heavy. Twelve hours ago I stood in the kitchen, asking Andre a question. He looked distracted, and said, “I have to go and give death to a boar”

This has been my life now for 5 months.

I don’t go to supermarkets anymore. And sometimes, I walk out of my Harry Potter barnroom to find the head of a bull just outside my door.

This has changed me.

In theory, I have always cared about the sources of my food. But concept is so different from staring directly into the eyes of death like that day I looked a long long time into that Bull’s eyes.

Until I didn’t catch my breath anymore. Until I could be in relationship with his death.

Everything about it.

His name is Walker.

Words sometimes take a while to catch up with awareness, and I realized a few weeks ago, that being a part of these animals lives, and then being part of the whole process of bringing their bodies to my plate, is incredibly intimate.

Is, at the end of the day, an experience of friendship of the deepest kind.

On one of my rare visits to Lucky’s, I catch a glimpse of the Meet counter, and feel this,

“those are not my friends. Could I still eat those animals, whose lives I have not touched with my own hands, who have not touched mine?”

Two moons ago, we took two goats for a mountain walk in the light of the full moon, before their deathing the next morning.

I fell in love with them, as they looked out at the mists rising from a rocky ledge, standing on either side of me. I didn’t know how to tell them about their death. It wasn’t a concept.

Standing so full of life, under that pregnant moon. Was their death a betrayal of our friendship?

The next day, I stood in the field past the milking cows while they were being slaughtered, and I cried into Emily’s open palms.

I actually grieved for two whole days about those white coated beauties, and when Andre made the kefteh with their fat two weeks later, and I took a bite, all I felt was love.

Through my whole body. Utter. Complete. Direct. Intimate.

A sensation, not a thought.

Yes, this is friendship and no, the mind probably cannot figure out such intimacy.

This is the thing.

Life is relationship. Not Product.

In a store, we buy products.

On a farm, we build relationships.

What I eat. Who I eat. What I use. Where I live.

Is all Story, and when I am living fully in that Story, in those relations, my life starts to sing.

Call it Soul. Call it what you want.

It seems The World now has too many missing links. Too many stories not fully lived, too many relations lost in the complexities of not enough Relationship.

I have been gifted here with so much Relationship.

Tomorrow and hopefully Full Moons to come, I am helping to throw a feast in honor of this.

In honor of living inside of a Story again. In Honor of Being Loved by our Food Again, because we Loved too.

Loved the Seed. Loved the day Zippy’s calf was born. Loved the piglets who died on a cold muddy Beltane Morning. Loved the Dark just before Sunrise that always greeted us from our Dreams before waking to do what must be done.

In Honor of and to Make Space for

Telling These Stories that Make us

And these Stories that help ReMember Ourselves Home.

Have You Ever Been ‘Broken’?

Published August 18, 2019 by tindertender

To all those who have ever been broken:

Have you ever wondered why God allowed that to happen to you if he’s such a loving God?

To that I present you another perspective:

Have you ever wondered why God trusted you with brokeness?

Sounds like those two words don’t belong in the same sentence but let me finish.

First of all , God would never put on someone, something they could not handle.

And second, Satan can’t do anything to anyone that God does not allow.

So if God has allowed any level of suffering/pain/brokenness in your life, and there’s not a single person who hasn’t had suffering, could it be that part of what you were annointed to do is to mend another broken heart because you know what brokenness looks like?

Think about it- anyone who’s experienced brokenness knows what it’s like to be broken and is sympathetic to others who are also broken. Anyone who’s experienced any level of brokenness now has a tender and more loving heart for others that are broken.

And if you’ve ever experienced any level of brokenness and by the grace of God are still standing here today alive and well then you now know three things:

1. You know exactly what you did and how you survived.

2. You know exactly what the very fabric you’re made of is worth.

3. You know God trusted you to be able to handle it.

Now because you are, or were once, broken and because of your newfound tender, loving and sympathetic heart you are able to notice someone else who’s broken and with 100% confidence be able to share the wisdom necessary to help mend their brokenness.

Could it be that the very thing the enemy had intended to break you with, that God allowed, was used in 7D holy chess by God to not only save you with but show you what you’re made of and anoint you to save others as well?

In the end, always and forever longer, God Wins.

I understand this now. Believe me when I tell you I have been broken.

Lost my mom, my best friend within 3 months when I was 17, later lost my wife and my son in divorce, then proceeded to lose basically every tangible asset I had. I had nothing.

And then I found @IncarnatedFruit and through her I found myself. And then together we found God

In order to truly understand the power of the kind of love God designed you to have and be, you must first suffer.

Embrace your pain for God will use that pain as part of the prize!

Ps. It’s worth all the pain and suffering, by the way.

Truly worth it.

I’ll add another note:

If you’re at rock bottom or falling and think your problems are insurmountable and it seems impossible to get out from underneath them – It only seems impossible because you’re trying to figure out how you can change it.

Think about what I just said.

Do you think (you) really know what’s best for you?

My genuine and honest advice from my own personal experience is that when you stop trying to do it (your) way and start asking Him what you should do and NOT ask why you’re doing it that life turns around.

But don’t worry. If you fail to realize it he will allow you to be reminded again.

And again.

Hence the suffering

Just my opinion.

Message mostly by:

… with bits of me included in.

Creation Said …

Published August 16, 2019 by tindertender

“I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it.

It is the realization that they create their own reality.”

The eagle said,

“Give it to me. I will take it to the moon.”

The Creator said, “No. One day they will go there and find it.”…

The salmon said,

“I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean.”

The Creator said, “No. They will go there, too.”

The buffalo said, “I will bury it on the Great Plains.”

The Creator said, “They will cut into the skin of the earth and find it even there.”…

Grandmother who lives in the breast of Mother Earth,

and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes, said

“Put it inside of them.”

And the Creator said, “It is done.”

– Creation story from the Hopi Nation, Arizona

– artist: Vasil Woodland

Joy Ridin’ On A Week Night

Published August 15, 2019 by tindertender

Work was slow yesterday afternoon so I decided to take a little time for me.

I traveled to Timberline Lodge where, to my sweet surprise, a duet was singing music, and it was beautiful. Here are some pics I took on my way up the mountain.

My dinner was a delicious roasted veggie sandwich on a ciabatta bun with a robust tomato soup. Yum. Huckleberries are one of my favorites, which is why I also bought a piece of cobbler to go.

Check out what I saw at the top of Mt Hood last night. Crazy thing, as I stood there for 10 minutes gawking, no one else seemed to see it … weird.

I was able to see all the way the Bend, what I know is a 4 hour drive from where I live. Incredible to see it from this vantage point, to think of all the people between here and there. Thinking of the love shared, and also the cruelty happening just under the trees.

It really is amazing to see the world from up here. It makes me think of what “the man on the mountain” must see when he looks out upon us.

I love mountain flower bushes.

There was a symbol on the chimney I’m not sure of. Perhaps someone just likes to think of high noon a lot?

A beautiful theater was there. I stood at the front of it to capture photo and imagined what it might be like to speak from that position. Really cool stuff! I thought I had a pic of the entire seating, but looks like I only got the right side. There are three sections, tierd like this.

The trees really take a beating up this high from the winds.

But oh my word … being up here, one feels a little closer to heaven.

I stopped by a waterfall on my way back. It was so fresh smelling, and the sounds …. delish.

Have a great day friends. May the one who loves you shower you with blessing, even if that someone is you.

“I Love”

Published July 18, 2019 by tindertender

There she lay, dreaming. Her leg kicks just a little every so often. For a moment I consider what her reality is. Bending over I touch her, she looks at me and I give her a good belly rub. She seems a little short with it so I stand and walk to my sofa, sitting. Moments later she hops up on the over-size lounge, snuggling into the plush arm of it. I look at her and I think, “I Love”.

I will just leave it at that, and it isn’t the first time I’ve noticed. I Love. Not I love Snowy, but, I Love.

It is so beautiful to note that this is truth. It is not really attached to something or someone in particular, (although it is, simultaneously so) but it moves beyond, when you do not name that which you love. You simply move about the day finding things that remind you that you love.

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