Addiction

All posts in the Addiction category

Questions and Realization

Published November 26, 2020 by tindertender

What exactly does it mean to exercise ones Will?

I once compared it to being stubborn. Perhaps I still do.

Stubborn Will

I read somewhere that it is possible to transform stubborn Will into skillful Will.

As often as I think of it, it has yet to materialize.

What does one do, after all, to be considered “skillful”?

Would it be better to note that to be a person of skillful will it be required to do what is right and good and healthy despite stubborn Will saying, “I’ll do what I want.”?

What have I learned today?

I learned that somehow in all this mess I have been extremely blessed. By surprise I might add. So much so I purchased matching pendant and earrings for a piedersite (sp?) stone ring I have.

Why did this good fortune befall me today? I wonder.

I purchased an aura photo. Bright yellows all around.

I bought “buy two get two free” bras and panties.

And I still wonder at it all.

I donated a monetary gift in exchange for a light reading and gained knowledge. It was a lovely exchange as always.

I ask myself if I have grown fond of being a walking portal … stubborn, stubborn.

I am told the color red is like a welcome mat for unclean spirits. I have seen evidence that may be true.

Surely I am not the only human being pushing a little here, pulling a little there. Is it beneficial? I cannot say, for although my experience has been for the last many years, the experience in itself is new to me.

Anyhow … red … I now need to paint two red walls green, or another color, in three days. Home Depot is closed so today I sit idle.

My red candle had its wick fall into the wax and it stopped burning.

Now there is an orange one, in a glass jar.

I am just now reminded of being 18 and keeping a journal. I wrote some angry and hurtful things in there “to” the person I was living with. It was found. Tears were shed. I stopped journaling.

When I write, it doesn’t “sound” the same as when I “speak”. Could it be true that simply slowing down to write shows what it would be like if one “thought” before they spoke? And now … “thinking” before one thinks.

Some go on and on about my attitude, and I reply that “attitude” is my dancing partner. Tis true. Since when? That is the question. I think, “Ya, you really going to write all that down?” Ha. 🤯

Really bad dudes. You’re doing something to call them in. I’ve discovered cannabis is a contributor to opening a portal in my mind. Not always a good thing, especially with really bad dudes in the unseen on the prowl.

Paint the walls; sprinkle prayed over and blessed salt water everywhere; stop using thc; eat more greens and less carbs and sugar; stop with the tarot cards; clean up energy fields.

Get “off the wagon” and walk.

54 years of age. I just danced and behaved in such a belligerent fashion I reminded myself of a 15 year old me, without all the stamina, haha … alone in my living room … rebelling against the invisibles …. after using the cannabis plant, one of them said, “Heroin has been decriminalized.” Well, I’ve seen people die from using that … no thank you, Pusherman.

I find it interesting that the invisibles correlate cannabis to heroin.

“I don’t want this one” and invisible said …. good …. I guess I’ve been successful in my endeavor then.

For much of my life I made myself ugly, so few felt comfortable getting too close to me. It seems I flow in and out of this behavior. Even with myself!

I make a list of “wrongs” and then am inclined to grow a list of what is “right” … or a list of gratitude.

Not all things can be balanced … or can they?

Advice to self … Don’t attempt, or try, or hope, or wish … just DO it.

Candle flame = Portal

THC = Portal

Sugar and Carbs = Feeds the Portal occupants

Find King James Version of the Bible, read Psalms and Proverbs

Prep walls for paint

Stop calling them ‘to’ me

Reformat habitual pattern

I’ve got a Love candle … a Love flame flickering in my living room … just don’t stare at the flame dear … I tell myself.

Words

Published August 29, 2020 by tindertender

Words are tiny hooks for the mind.

Digital freeway signs telling you to “mask up” and “save lives” … fear porn.

Words programming minds into a state of lack perception.

Subliminal messaging in the television programs and commercials … buy this, you must have that (as with the toilet paper fiasco the world over).

Some have become so addicted to these hooks they cannot pull themselves away from that which places them in the mind … they have been “programmed” to absorb more and more of these barbs … that which keeps the mind caught.

They are compelled to turn on the television as soon as they arrive home, some saying they don’t watch it, they simply have it on for the noise it provides. Noise is right. Noise filled with barbs for the mind.

Cannabis, beneficial when used properly, a detriment when not. Keeping the mind at surface level limbo. Unable to delve into the deep waters of the snare. Unable to see the snare, let alone comprehend its magnitude.

Alcohol, which totally obliterates conscious usage of words and intention.

Be mindful of what hooks you allow to be implanted in the psyche.

If they are anything other than love, peace, compassion, harmony and such related concepts, you can be certain it is not for benefit, but a steering toward another’s agenda.

Indeed, even the wolf masquerades as a light worker. Steering minds into lack perception. A weakness implant, drawing the mind into believing only they can help you out of a situation or set way of thinking. Stripping spirit of its own authentic power.

Trials are here for a reason. They build our capacity to withstand chaos. The lessons we learn through process allows compassion for others experiencing same and similar circumstances, growing our heart, our center, our connection should we choose not to shrink.

This is why many times another simply isn’t able to help us. We must endure, gather the lesson, before it can be released.

Be mindful of the words you absorb, and the words you use upon another.

They can be of benefit, or add to the snare.

Use experience to benefit self and others, not tear everything down.

Words … being used by the media now for separation and control … creating divide like never before, and politicians are pushing all the buttons in alignment with the message.

Reject it.

Break the Chain

Published July 27, 2020 by tindertender

What idea do you see when you look at this?

What chains do we break in our personal lives and why would we break any chains at all?

Habits are chains of activities. Some are good, some are bad.

Lineage is a chain of genetics living on.

Habits can be generational as well.

Poverty is tough chain to break.

Abuse is another tough one.

It only takes one link to break though.

Written and art by: https://www.minds.com/alexbailey/

Alcohol and Other Substances: Unpleasant Truths

Published July 27, 2020 by tindertender

Written by:
https://twitter.com/Karina89350882?s=20

Good day for some more (maybe) “unpleasant” truths – but at this stage of Gaia`s ascension I feel the need to tell more of the facts and not just “sugar-coats”: Alcohol and some other issues- let`s talk a bit about it.

Alcohol is engineered to make sheep vulnerable. It is for that reason why it is intensely pushed by the “Cabal” or “Deep State” or “Majestic Cabal”.

Roswell discoveries instructed through cause and effect predictions with the STARGATE to exploit alcohol. Limited character space.

Dense message. Roswell beings educated Mil Intel about consciousness and how it can be manipulated and exploited with substances. Alcohol is a pushed because it calcifies your pineal gland. Marijuana is prohibited because Roswell ZR explained its value.

Marijuana legalization will come with Disclosure because they are intimately connected to understanding the biological connection our consciousness has with other plants and species and what information those life forms are attempting to communicate and how. What is alien?

Alcohol instead impairs that mind body plant consciousness connection and interacts with you with a mark of the beast. Alcohol brings out the worst in humanity. This is why its pushed. Who worships the Devil? The Vatican does.

Belief in God is not required for belief in the Devil. The Majestic 12 in its earliest formations served the Vatican exclusively on all matters relating to God. The presence of beings were withheld from the Vatican by Mil Intel however the Vatican was already in open dialogue with ZR prior. As far as we were concerned, as long as the Vatican wasn’t against us, we could do pretty much anything. So we did. The Vatican wanted Disclosure kept from the public because they worship the Devil and feed on children.

Those networks were used for exploiting and collecting blackmail on politicians by creating classified sources and methods be individuals who have legally not committed a crime be responsible for finding volunteers who will act on their own accord in classified settings.

Typically this meant preventing the left hand from knowing what the right hand is doing. Those who were move the children were taught never to ask questions or you risk the chance of being killed next. Reasons of National Security were the threat of ETs in Space and the power hungry Vatican essentially forced the hand of the 257 United States through people’s faith in false and dogmatic religions.

Message before messenger – above Majestic

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@fourcolourblack

Jekyll and Hyde

Published June 25, 2020 by tindertender

We all have them.

We embody polarity. It is impossible to get away from the fact all things dwell within us.

The good guy gets to stay out during the day … at work, on a date … yet as soon as the alcohol starts (or other substance) the alter ego comes out.

Some say it is spirits, taking advantage of our lowering of the guard, and it could very well be.

YOU are the gate keeper.

YOU determine on whether to lower your guard.

YOU decide to share your form with others, seen, unseen … permission is granted as soon as the guard slips.

As soon as you surrender control.

I used to think that surrender only came via the use of alcohol. I was mistaken, it is ALL things that affect our guard.

Whether lowering it and thinking negative thoughts, or opening it wide, making self vulnerable to outside influences, which in turn affect the mind, as well as energetic contributions and all other output.

We all have Choice.

Choice is where Power is.

Power dwells within Love.

Love resides in the Soul.

Will you ‘release’ the dragon?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_Case_of_Dr_Jekyll_and_Mr_Hyde

JUNK

Published June 23, 2020 by tindertender

An interesting perspective.

Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive.

Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding. Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life.

I Will Meet You

Published January 18, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo: https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves; https://mariapalumbo.com/

I will meet you

Father

In the men

that I meet

Until I let go

of the expecting

you will change.

Get better.

Stop drinking.

Get therapy.

You know, love yourself.

Love me.

I will experience your fire eyes

and words of hatred

until I am ready

to accept you

and stop sacrificing myself to help

you.

No amount of pleading

Crying

Waiting

Making you laugh

ever brought you back

for long.

You collapsing back

into you

And I learning what it is like

to be left alone.

Any hit or word of anger felt better

because at least it meant

you acknowledged

I existed.

Otherwise you would cry

lost

in your own demise.

Watching you suffer

always hurt

worse.

And the peace was never peaceful

for it meant something else

was coming.

What did they do to you?

I’d wonder.

And the question kept me soft

in my heart.

What did your parents do?

Who hurt you?

My care kept me close.

I felt indebted

Spending years of my life

trying to convince you

I cared.

Someone cares.

I promise.

I wanted to be the one that could save you

The one that stayed

for that would not be my mother

And you would remind me

of that daily.

I will keep trying to complete this cycle

Prove that I am lovable

Convince the unconvinceable

Until I can learn to live in peace

without you

and stop trying

to fill that aching

for you

When the peace has always been

the most difficult part.

https://mailchi.mp/d4e4301dfa32/your-wound-is-sexy

Photo by Iswanto Arif on Unsplash

One Thing You Never Want To Do …

Published December 20, 2019 by tindertender

… Watch someone you love, that has fought so hard to beat addiction, throw everything away & sink back into a life that will most likely lead to jail or death. You want to grab & shake them & say “What are you doing?!?!” But, at some point, you realize that it wouldn’t make a difference.

So you sit back and watch the tragedy unfold as if you are watching a movie. Feeling helpless to stop it, feeling like you haven’t done enough to help, even though you know only the addict can help themselves.

Battling a drug and/or alcohol addiction is a beast for the person addicted & the ones who love them. It’s very hard to watch them cycle through the drinking (or drugs), making stupid mistakes, one right after another. Try to recover and become a normal person for a while until something triggers them back into bad habits.

What is worse, is a family member or “friend” who constantly reminds a recovering person of their past mistakes, insinuating they are still happening … actually assisting in the creation of this perpetual ‘story’.

So l am asking you to stand with me in prayer/and or meditation for every family member & friend who has lost or is losing their battle with drugs & alcohol & those who continue to conquer it!

If you cannot be supportive and lift another … then simply remove yourself from their endeavor of a better life and reality … or you will have to be removed by those who sometimes are barely holding on to sanity.

God bless the addict who still suffers🙏

%d bloggers like this: