All posts in the Addiction category

Jekyll and Hyde

Published June 25, 2020 by tindertender

We all have them.

We embody polarity. It is impossible to get away from the fact all things dwell within us.

The good guy gets to stay out during the day … at work, on a date … yet as soon as the alcohol starts (or other substance) the alter ego comes out.

Some say it is spirits, taking advantage of our lowering of the guard, and it could very well be.

YOU are the gate keeper.

YOU determine on whether to lower your guard.

YOU decide to share your form with others, seen, unseen … permission is granted as soon as the guard slips.

As soon as you surrender control.

I used to think that surrender only came via the use of alcohol. I was mistaken, it is ALL things that affect our guard.

Whether lowering it and thinking negative thoughts, or opening it wide, making self vulnerable to outside influences, which in turn affect the mind, as well as energetic contributions and all other output.

We all have Choice.

Choice is where Power is.

Power dwells within Love.

Love resides in the Soul.

Will you ‘release’ the dragon?


Published June 23, 2020 by tindertender

An interesting perspective.

Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive.

Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding. Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life.

I Will Meet You

Published January 18, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo:;

I will meet you


In the men

that I meet

Until I let go

of the expecting

you will change.

Get better.

Stop drinking.

Get therapy.

You know, love yourself.

Love me.

I will experience your fire eyes

and words of hatred

until I am ready

to accept you

and stop sacrificing myself to help


No amount of pleading



Making you laugh

ever brought you back

for long.

You collapsing back

into you

And I learning what it is like

to be left alone.

Any hit or word of anger felt better

because at least it meant

you acknowledged

I existed.

Otherwise you would cry


in your own demise.

Watching you suffer

always hurt


And the peace was never peaceful

for it meant something else

was coming.

What did they do to you?

I’d wonder.

And the question kept me soft

in my heart.

What did your parents do?

Who hurt you?

My care kept me close.

I felt indebted

Spending years of my life

trying to convince you

I cared.

Someone cares.

I promise.

I wanted to be the one that could save you

The one that stayed

for that would not be my mother

And you would remind me

of that daily.

I will keep trying to complete this cycle

Prove that I am lovable

Convince the unconvinceable

Until I can learn to live in peace

without you

and stop trying

to fill that aching

for you

When the peace has always been

the most difficult part.

Photo by Iswanto Arif on Unsplash

One Thing You Never Want To Do …

Published December 20, 2019 by tindertender

… Watch someone you love, that has fought so hard to beat addiction, throw everything away & sink back into a life that will most likely lead to jail or death. You want to grab & shake them & say “What are you doing?!?!” But, at some point, you realize that it wouldn’t make a difference.

So you sit back and watch the tragedy unfold as if you are watching a movie. Feeling helpless to stop it, feeling like you haven’t done enough to help, even though you know only the addict can help themselves.

Battling a drug and/or alcohol addiction is a beast for the person addicted & the ones who love them. It’s very hard to watch them cycle through the drinking (or drugs), making stupid mistakes, one right after another. Try to recover and become a normal person for a while until something triggers them back into bad habits.

What is worse, is a family member or “friend” who constantly reminds a recovering person of their past mistakes, insinuating they are still happening … actually assisting in the creation of this perpetual ‘story’.

So l am asking you to stand with me in prayer/and or meditation for every family member & friend who has lost or is losing their battle with drugs & alcohol & those who continue to conquer it!

If you cannot be supportive and lift another … then simply remove yourself from their endeavor of a better life and reality … or you will have to be removed by those who sometimes are barely holding on to sanity.

God bless the addict who still suffers🙏

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