Yesterday I consumed flesh for the first time in six years. I was looking forward to the message and sensation my body(s) would receive. Here is my report …
I woke feeling like I typically do upon rising. Soon, however, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach brought itself into my awareness. Perhaps it is residual from the fight the animal I consumed put up before being slaughtered, the fear it felt, the adrenaline, infused in its fleshy fibers.
I became agitated, short tempered, and my energy became somewhat chaotic.
I was expecting to feel stronger, nourished by it, but the opposite happened.
My energy was dirtied by it.
I am not saying the animal itself, while living, was dirty.
What I’m relating here is that the fear, the fight, the intense adrenaline … all of this was infused into the flesh, and when I consumed it, these energies affected my own.
It is easy to understand where much of the chaos in this world stems from.
Those who consume fear and adrenaline toxicity enmesh it into their own fields.
We truly do become what we eat, energetically speaking.
There is the mindset that humans have dominion over the animal kingdom and can kill and consume as they please. There is no compassion or regard to life.
Many will be shocked when they discover there are many higher beings than we, soon to make entry here among us, who feel the same about humanity … thinking us a commodity, a food source.
None of us will be able to complain justly or argue in defense.
What we reap we shall sow.
The experience was a necessary one for me, to affirm my position when it comes to the honoring of life.
Cast off the old. Reveal your true colors, talents and gifts to the world.
The energy of renewal is washing over your life at this time. If for some reason you feel that your true self hasn’t been recognized or if you’ve been misread by others, know this energy is now leaving you. As you’ve been working through your old stories and all the self-limiting beliefs that you’ve accumulated along the way, you’ve been peeling away a shield of skin that has created limiting experiences. Your own personal commitment to growth has been recognized and now the external world will begin to reflect all of the work that you’ve been doing within. If you feel someone you love has misunderstood you recently, they will be able to see beyond that if you’re willing to recognize your own challenges. This is a time for renewal, abundance and connection. Let yourself be reborn and celebrated.
Stay rooted and grounded
Take time to connect deeply with the energy of the Earth so that you can feel supported and make decisions based on strength and integrity.
It’s important for you to take a grounded approach to your current situation. If you are rushing ahead or making a decision based on your more fearful responses, you will miss out on the growth you deserve. Take some time to calm down and get grounded before proceeding further. Breathe, relax and connect with your center. Then consider what to do. It’s important to plant seeds that are going to grow into something beautiful rather that turn into a weed you have to deal with!
Reading from the deck “Angels and Ancestors” oracle cards created by Kyle Gray
When we dream, we travel, we receive ‘visitors’ both of the positive and of the negative.
When we wake with doubt about self, or those we have relation with, we must evaluate carefully, for often these thoughts are sourced from implanted seeds meant to manipulate our life.
Using intuition, we can gain a sense of whether these seeds are of a positive supportive measure, or simply an attempt to get one to reject that which is making them more powerful ….
Seeds … of doubt, for self and others Seeds … of anger, jealousy, or sadness Seeds …
We are the master gardener of our house.
We choose what implants to water and give life to.
We choose which to pluck from our consciousness and give to our mother, the earth, to do with what she wills.
Reject or accept … the choice is ours.
The attempts to steer us will not end until we are able to master our garden, plucking the weeds as the enemy tries to plant them, marring our perfect creation.
Attention to the subtleties is crucial, especially in these moments.
Know thyself …
Know what is not yours …
Kick that shit to the earth and let the mother take it and cleanse it, purifying it so it does not infect this world.
The old threads are unraveling, Get your needles ready. We are stitching a new quilt of Humanity.
Bring your old t-shirts, worn out jeans, scarves, antique gowns, aprons, old pockets of plenty who have held Earth’s treasures, stones, feathers, leaves, love notes on paper.
Each stitch A mindful meditation. Each piece of material A story.
The more colour the better, so call in the Tribes. Threads of browns, whites, reds, oranges Women from all nations start stitching.
Let’s recycle the hate, the abuse, the fear, the judgment. Turn it over, wash it clean, ring it out to dry. It’s a revolution of recycled wears.
Threads of greens, blues, purples Colourful threads of peace, kindness, respect, compassion are being stitched from one continent to the next over forests, oceans, mountains.
The work is hard Your fingers may bleed. But each cloth stitched together Brings together a community. A world, our future world Under one colourful quilt. The new quilt of humanity.
Digital freeway signs telling you to “mask up” and “save lives” … fear porn.
Words programming minds into a state of lack perception.
Subliminal messaging in the television programs and commercials … buy this, you must have that (as with the toilet paper fiasco the world over).
Some have become so addicted to these hooks they cannot pull themselves away from that which places them in the mind … they have been “programmed” to absorb more and more of these barbs … that which keeps the mind caught.
They are compelled to turn on the television as soon as they arrive home, some saying they don’t watch it, they simply have it on for the noise it provides. Noise is right. Noise filled with barbs for the mind.
Cannabis, beneficial when used properly, a detriment when not. Keeping the mind at surface level limbo. Unable to delve into the deep waters of the snare. Unable to see the snare, let alone comprehend its magnitude.
Alcohol, which totally obliterates conscious usage of words and intention.
Be mindful of what hooks you allow to be implanted in the psyche.
If they are anything other than love, peace, compassion, harmony and such related concepts, you can be certain it is not for benefit, but a steering toward another’s agenda.
Indeed, even the wolf masquerades as a light worker. Steering minds into lack perception. A weakness implant, drawing the mind into believing only they can help you out of a situation or set way of thinking. Stripping spirit of its own authentic power.
Trials are here for a reason. They build our capacity to withstand chaos. The lessons we learn through process allows compassion for others experiencing same and similar circumstances, growing our heart, our center, our connection should we choose not to shrink.
This is why many times another simply isn’t able to help us. We must endure, gather the lesson, before it can be released.
Be mindful of the words you absorb, and the words you use upon another.
They can be of benefit, or add to the snare.
Use experience to benefit self and others, not tear everything down.
Words … being used by the media now for separation and control … creating divide like never before, and politicians are pushing all the buttons in alignment with the message.
You can overcome the fear of not being able to achieve, and be free to fly above present difficulties.
You’re beginning to realize that you can do it. You’re up there and on your way!
This is the inner voice of wisdom, the ability to trust the intuitive messages from within.
Your mind is able to flow effortlessly on your spiritual journey. Your resulting actions are spontaneous and appropriate in all situations. You’re true to your inner self, clean and pure. You give credit where it’s due and don’t sit in judgement of others. Rather, you rejoice in their successes.
We must remember the boundary between our unbridled passions and the Higher Self.
You’re emotionally steady and not following your passions headlong into lustful entanglements. You have the ability to steer your passions in an artful way without consuming others with your fire.
You have a boundary between the darker stormy levels of consciousness and the clear state of mind. Stay clear.
You must stay calm in the face of irritation, wash away the stains of upset, and stay on course through the storms of life.
The Guardian King of the East is with you, playing gentle music on his lute, which soothes the angry mind and brings calm to the world.
Call upon the elements. Focus your intentions. The greatest dragon is within you.
Right now I look to the Spirit within and I feel my inner power. I call upon the forces of nature for even more strength and direction. I will not waver from the task at hand for this is my time. I will go forth with courage and I will succeed, for life and power are on my side.
Strength is gentle. True kindness has wings. Love in action endures.
Today I will let kindness grow in me. I will be gentle with myself and give my soul the love it deserves. I will focus on everlasting love and let it gently flow into the world. I am alive, my gratitude knows no bounds, and my heart now overflows with love and kindness.
Your dreams have chosen you. Find fulfillment in pursuing your destiny. This is the magic of life.
Today I will take time for the dreamer in me. I will remember that my dreams have a purpose and were given to me for a reason. I will not be misled by the opinions and doubts of others, for this is my journey and only I can know the way. I will focus on taking tiny steps toward my dreams and I will never give up.
Focus on how far you have come, not how far you have to go. You will find help in unexpected places.
I am a beautiful, courageous traveler on a journey toward ultimate happiness. Today I am grateful for how far I have come and how much I’ve been given. I am grateful for the companions I find along the trail. I will remember that I have been placed on this Earth to discover what I really want to do and to be true to myself. I will find my own way and I will live my dream.
Live with compassion. Open your heart to all life forms. Be an angel with hands.
Today I will do the right thing, even if no one is watching. I will remember that everyone is fighting some kind of battle and I will show compassion. Life is filled with opportunities to be kind and today, right now, I will be the one who lifts others higher.
Listen to your heart. Embrace what makes you happy. There are one million reasons to love.
Today I will love. Before I talk I will listen. Before I criticize I will forgive. Before I judge I will think. I remember that after all of this is over, the only thing that will really count is how we treated each other and how much we have loved.
Your dreams have untold energy. N the door and let them live. Desire and belief are your power.
Today I acknowledge that my life is expanding and new doors are opening. I will let go of unwanted past experiences, forgive, and be grateful for the lessons learned. I will be filled with a vision of everything that I want my life to be, do, and have, and let the magic happen. I give thanks in advance for all the blessings on their way.
Reading from the deck Magical Times Empowerment Ted by Jody Bergsma
Take Care of Your Needs: Do everything you need to be at your best. Then move beyond your fears and limitations.
Enjoy Growth and Reap Rewards: Reap what you have sown and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Grow and expand in all areas of your life.
Harness Mystic Power: Align with the light and focus on all things positive.
Move Beyond Ancestral Patterns: Move beyond the limitations that have been set for you by family members past and present. Know that the energy of your spirit is more powerful than genetics and behavioral patterns.
Trust and Thrive: Come alive and thrive. Stand in your light and glory with grace and majesty.
Reading from the deck “Angels and Ancestors” oracle cards created by Kyle Gray
At the age of 18 something happened to my physical form.
I was rejected, humiliated, shamed, by many, by a so-called professional even. I became angry and rejected others in return. Years went by and the participants in shaming and rejecting me varied, yet it was a constant flow.
Eventually, after absorbing this shaming, this rejection, it seemed that these traits became my own.
I no longer needed others to reject me, to shame me … I carried these in my emotional field and applied to self, no longer needing an outside source to keep the ball rolling.
I carried anger … anger at the one who perpetrated it all. Anger toward self for putting myself in a situation like that. Blaming self and others … for years. This anger got all over everything and everyone.
After nearly 20 years of intense inner reflection and release, it just came up for me today that these things still reside in me, all surrounding the original trauma and all trauma that ensued related to it.
I discovered that my trigger is only a trigger because I still reject that part of myself … feeling dirty, untouchable, unapproachable ….
My life has been stern … often people do not approach me because it is felt, obvious that the energy of rejection was in and of me. People, fearing rejection themselves, stayed away.
I’m told to be careful of what I say. That others will take my weakness and use it against me. They may do that. Yet if I do not face this new and interestingly obvious realization, if I do not attempt to process it, absolve it, I cannot move into my true power. The energy of shame, blame, guilt, anger is so polluted it cannot sustain happiness for long … happy is eventually returned to its original state … the state of mind, the state of emotion, the state of non-acceptance it had been used to for 3.5 decades.
Habitual patterns and mindsets are difficult to see, yet once they are seen, it is ones personal responsibility to dissolve them, to process them, so love and happiness can become to new norm.
It is a choice … I would much rather be in a state of love and happiness. One can take on the whole world when in this state. See the chart below for a visual.
Love and happiness which comes up often, yet has difficulty being sustained.
A purge is necessary and needed … so off to my bath for a soak and relaxation, and an allowing of my higher self to assist me in absolving the decades old habitual pattern and replacing it with a new state of being.
Empty the old and stale, filling up with fresh and new, set with intention for the coming peace filled world I wish to help create, that I wish to belong in, that I wish to share with others.
Many of us have had unsavory childhoods and experiences beyond that.
In relationships with family or ‘friends’ we find that the emotional and/or mental wounds are constantly flicked, snipped and poked.
Triggers.
Reaction vs response.
Sometimes it is easy to simply walk away and shut the door. Sometimes we must endure … rejection, slander, anything that is an attempt to make us feel small or unsure of our worth, our value.
Defense mode kicks in when the triggers are flipped, fine if one can walk away and then settle down. But what happens when you walk away? Do you really solve the issue? Do you throw out this wonderful opportunity to expand, to align?
It is not sustainable to live in a constant state of agitation, allowing someone power over the emotional and mental well-being.
To counter, does one choose to close down emotionally? Creating blockages for the aggressor and those who wish to instill us with grace? Honoring us? Because if we close off to one, we close off to all … we cannot possibly be available 100% for anything when we construct barriers.
I’ve decided the best option is to look at the aggressor and their words, actions, behaviors and choose instead to thank them. To be in a state of gratitude for the trigger being uncovered, for the opportunity to see it clearly, to understand what caused it, and what brought me to be triggered.
No one likes to be rejected. Yet when we place too much importance on others outside ourselves rejecting us, we also reject our self … because we tense up, we fall into a state of agitation … perhaps shame, anger, contempt, anxiety.
Look at this chart which shows the energetic structure in the body when certain emotions are running rampant.
It does not show an image for gratitude, but it’s there somewhere between love and happiness, perhaps even becoming these two combined.
When someone triggers me, I look at the trigger, what is its source? For me just recently, it was rejection. I have an issue with that one for I have been rejected my whole life. It hurts … and so I usually counter rejection with an even more potent rejection. But look at that … anger, depression, shame.
I would rather expand, acknowledge why I am triggered … and choose not to fall in line with it all and actually reject myself.
I begin listing the reasons I am grateful to my aggressor. For the opportunity to see my trigger. For the opportunity to see its source, its root. For the opportunity to come into balance, working through emotional blockages. For the opportunity to understand and realize I am the only one that need accept or approve of me.
This then brings me to the idea of … what doIrespect and value about self? What things do not fall into alignment with this self-respect? How can I love the parts so many reject about me? Embracing them, learning the lessons they offer me, personally. In order to stand firm in this world we must be able to stand alone, without the need for outside approval.
In my younger years, I never knew love, only manipulation and a series of different types of abuse. When I got out on my own, I picked up where others left off, becoming my own worst abuser … which brought shame and a deep sense of rejection of self.
For the last near 20 years I’ve been training myself to become someone I can respect, even love. Breaking habitual patterns and replacing them with new, beneficial patterns. Yes, there are certain residuals from my previous life that clutch to me like a bad habit … and they will remain, so I must change my perspective, and love them, so I am better able to love the whole me.
What others think of me is their business … and they make it my opportunity when they decide to be emotionally or otherwise aggressive. For it is when I face these things that true strength and power begin to solidify in myself … in my emotional body, in my mental body.
If someone wishes to possess me, my being, my thoughts, my self, it is easy to be loud, reject, deny … yet again, the vibe falls, shitty ass feelings arise. So instead, I focus on possessing self, wholly … all mine, mine all mine, me, me, me, love, love, love … not anyone’s property or possession … mine alone, and I share it with whomI will.
Acceptance must always begin with self … the triggers will never dissipate unless we develop this.
Acceptance of self is not arrogance … which some confuse it with. Being haughty they’ll tell the whole world to F-off, without ever looking at the triggers, denying they exist. Not even aware that they have so many barriers in place no one can truly enter the ‘private’ zone.
Acceptance of self requires deep, deep hard looks at the sour issues being toted around from year to year.
Until this hard look is made, and the willingness to put pain and shame to rest is made, life will be mastered by anyone who chooses to manipulate the emotions … and it will be easy for them to do.
Looking at this triggered experience I’ve come to understand it exists because I am rejecting this portion of self. The trigger is my denial. It is I who must come to love my dirty spaces unconditionally. Until I do, I will forever be triggered by outside aggressors.
Be grateful for the aggressor, embrace the gifts of opportunity they provide, and know that soon, should you do the work, the aggressor will no longer be needed for lessons, and they can simply be walked away from.
opensenseme 