Dreams

All posts in the Dreams category

The Big Question

Published January 2, 2019 by tindertender

“What do I really want?”

I actually DO want a world where everyone has ‘enough’, where everyone works together for the benefit of the whole. I would like to see all people have a comfortable dwelling to come home to after a long day of work, contributing to the success of their families, and all other participants in this effort.

I want a world in which no one takes the easy route, by forcing others to give them what they’ve worked for. I would like equal work leading to equal shares. I want to see those who ‘talk’ for a living do more than impress us with their vocabulary.

I want to see an end of theft, both in the illegal format, and theft in the higher ranks, which has been legalized through ‘loop holes’ in the justice system. I want equality for all in this justice system, not one in which certain members of society get a free pass because of who they are related to, who they know, or who they can buy off.

Mostly, I want a world in which there is no need for fear, or defense, or war. I want a world where the only struggles are that which must be done to produce good foods, or supply clean waters to the home, or make wonderful and beautiful cloth, or something of that nature … where all who eat and dress, partake in what needs be done to produce it.

I want to see a world where money is outdated, where people barter with each other for goods, and where every contribution is honored and the contributor respected, for whatever it is they contribute (being honest, and not harmful to anyone, including themselves.)

I’ve been told so many times that this world will never change. I’ve been told people will always be selfish, and cruel. I’ve been told that peace is not possible.

I have fallen into the trap of this mind set. I have become defensive, latching onto what I perceive as mine, and trying desperately to protect it all from theft and harm. Yet inside my mind and heart I know that nothing can be owned, not even this life, for in a heartbeat it can be taken … ended with a flick of the wrist.

I recognize these defensive behaviors and mind sets to be destructive. Unfortunately once something is said, it cannot be unsaid. Once certain words are uttered, a persons whole character can become tainted, and there is no going back. Often, people who thought they knew you, will change their minds when you have a brief spout of this soul shrinking fear and close off. They will leave, never looking back, telling whoever they come across about your horrible nature. Not considering the many years prior of being with them, talking with them, sharing the heart with them.

I want a world where people will take into account all circumstances, all experiences, and track records. I also want a world where a person falling into the pit of demise is known to be strong enough to climb out of the hole, and assistance is given when they are ready to start the journey.

It is sad, but this bruising of the spirit which all people have experienced has produced triggers within the mind. Once a trigger is flipped, it is difficult to shut it down, especially if one is not aware they even have triggers.

I want a world which lacks selfishness. I want a world in which people do what is right, just for the sake of doing it. Where people help each other without need for repayment, knowing they will receive anyway, when it comes back around. I want a world in which love is the greatest motivator of all, not lust, but an innocent, all encompassing love which does not necessarily need to be physical.

I want an end to violence. I want animals to stop being bred for food. I want all people to learn the art of growing organic, and creating their own medicines, to use and to share, to barter with if need be. There are too many things we could do differently which would bring this about.

Namely … I want a release of worldly greed and need for power, which is where all selfishness arises.

Let all people recognize themselves in every person. May empathy be the new way of interacting, and decision making. May the love of self, and personal need, be treated as a gift from another, and may all people gift it right back to everyone they meet.

Yes, some say peace is not possible … I say, it is they who have no part in its creation.

Let forgiveness reign, for self … and then bit by bit, act by act, person by person, for the world. I believe in the absolute possibility of abundance for all, when all work together to ensure its development.

Time Flowing

Published March 19, 2018 by tindertender

Hopes and dreams down the tubes as truck load after truck load of items are removed. So much waste. Moving from a big house to a small apartment rids much debris from life. Air conditioning no longer available, fans must be put in place to move the air.

Running up the hill, followed by another I make my way to perceived safety. I turn around and there he is, no danger after all.

Movement so slow it is easier to get out and walk. Oh how I wish I remembered.  Images once so clear fade into nothingness.

She gave up the home for another, allowing the use of it by them both. Windows at the front of it exposing the insides to any one who passed by. Vulnerability in darkness.

He remains there although I have gone. Unusual. I leave the house and begin to walk only realizing after a time that I had forgotten to take the car. I turn to look for it and see a man and a woman. They argue. He is upset because he was not given a parking space near his dwelling. He must walk, he is going to file complaint. Amused I walk by him, continuing my journey.

The most important part evades my mind. It is also the most recent. Short term memory … poof! Gone.

And still they talk, expressing their “like”. At the same time discussing it is not what they seek. Confusing as they will never leave, back and forth with the like and dislike, with belief and disbelief. Constant turmoil and opposing ideas. It is not possible to be speaking truth when they pull at the emotions like waves from a tide, back and forth in constant flux.

Change never comes from comfort. There must be a constant tension, a tugging back and forth between what was and what is, and what will be.

Effort renewed, cleanliness adopted once more, the journey begins again.

He finally leaves, as I knew he would. I will call to him in awhile and he will return. He does not like it if I make any moves without him, he walks away when I do. Not that he is mad or upset, just that he doesn’t like to be alone.

Good morning once again. I would call you a friend if I thought you were a benefit. Instead I will call you companion, for you never leave.

Experiences beyond time, one foot in and one foot out. No explanation given. You say you try but the effort escapes me.

Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker
You heart breaker
Wherever you’re going
I’m going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waitin’ round the bend
My Huckleberry friend
Moon River and me

Sweet, Continuous Dreams

Published March 19, 2018 by tindertender

Man & Birds.jpgRational. Irrational. It’s all conditioned responses.

I don’t know how to resign myself, especially when the requirement is unknown.

It challenges my beliefs, all of it. But the truth is they are not my beliefs. These are the stories which have been told since before I was born.

Cold nose and chilly cheeks, I lay my head in hands. This is an odd feeling, and the first time I’ve noticed it. The rest of my body quite warm, I consider crawling back under the covers.

I Saw You Watching Me

Published March 5, 2018 by tindertender

sleep watcherI woke, and upon opening my eyes I briefly saw you sitting there, watching me. Your  brunette hair a quickly fading memory.

She had asked why I chose you, and I stated that you were different than you were before. You were willing to get personal, involved in others lives now, as though you genuinely cared for them and what they were going through. She seemed perplexed by it all and was surprised when I told her that I had known you before.

All in all, what seemed to be a closeness was only superficial … still. Even though I gave of myself and it appeared as though you accepted, the connection was not solid, more like a fragmented dream ~ of course, it was.

I wipe the cookie crumbs from the desk, last nights midnight snack. Relieved, I rest in knowing today is a week day, and I get to go to work. Tasks await to take my mind off all of this.

Lifes Lil PleasuresI ponder the day when retirement comes and wonder what I will fill my days with. I must develop hobbies, and so I practice in my spare time to get good at some things, ie: soil tending for proper growth of herbs, making of medicines and balms, lotions and salves, deodorants and tooth pastes. What else? Perhaps painting, and writing, drawing and tiling. Tiling … now that could be fun, creating mosaics of beauty wherever I can.

For now though, I’ll settle for a shower, a taking out of the trash, a packing of lunch, and a job to do. Today is payday. I will be able to pay these bills for one more month, buy medicines which I have not yet learned to replace, and food for the pups along with their toys of course … little surprises that bring such happiness as I watch them run back and forth squeaking their joy into the house.

Briefly I allow my mind to touch on the memory of the watcher, the one who sees me while I sleep. Who is he?

Sense And Memory

Published March 1, 2018 by tindertender

Dog licking glassLooking out the dog slobber stained sliding door, I do not see them. I suppose they must be out there digging in the earth, searching for rats. The rain has begun to fall moistening the soil, muddy paws will return soon begging to be let in. Ah, there’s one now. As I open the door the scent of damp earth fills my nostrils, pleasant, reminding me of home, so long ago.

memories.jpgI spoke with an old friend tonight, it has been nearly thirty four years since we have seen each other, a lifetime ago. This journey has had many bumps along the way and I am determined to run with what remains, forward, ever forward. Perhaps even upward, as another friend describes it.

How can I pack a mound of creativity into what remains of this life? I want to paint, to write, to sing, to dance, to garden, to create medicines, to live clean and good with compassionate heart, and with care for all sentient beings. Is this what I said before arrival?  Is this the determination I wished? If so, it seems I wandered far from this path but here I find myself once again.

spiritual-loveMy hope before the end is that I discover what it means to truly love … not some pepped up notion associated with lust, but a deep and all encompassing love which is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. I hope it fills me before I exit this place to bursting before I leave, and I hope I carry it out of here with me to share with those who wait.

The water flows and drops into the pool below. Not as I imagined it would be. The sound is not quite soothing, but it gets the job done, or so I like to think, converting ions into something more useful for a pleasant atmosphere.

dreamsI do not bother to light candles this night, bed time will be soon. Dreams a-plenty I’m sure await, changing amid wakeful moments. I’ve left the TV off again for a few days, and it will remain off for many more. I am amazed at the way programs affect my dream life. No, they don’t belong there. My days experience will be the only influence in my nights for a time, healing happens here. Television interrupts the flow that ought to be, it is apparent after only a short while watching.

Gathering my fur kids I’ll leave this room. They run about snorting, sniffing frantically, listening to every sound. They too need to calm down, and so we go.

What Do Dreams Have To Say Of Reality?

Published February 10, 2018 by tindertender

Imagination

Driving along a rain soaked road, traffic stopped abruptly. I stomped on the brakes and slid, right into the car in front of me. A policeman came and took my keys, he sat on a bench a short distance away and went through every item in my purse. I was quite annoyed, but also very relieved … there was nothing illegal there for him to find.

My chest constricted as he disappeared, I could not move. I wondered what could be taking so long. I wound up in a small room, for hours. I fell asleep. When I woke I discovered my family had arrived, and they were receiving instruction from this man on how to survive. Finally, I received my paperwork and was released, although I had to ask for my keys, he kept those.

No one could understand why I was upset at being detained for so long while ‘family’ enjoyed his company. I was astonished that they were not capable of empathy for my situation, only focused on what they could gain.

Whether awake or dreaming, you’re experiencing the same bio-physical process. True, they’re qualitatively different realities, but if you’re thinking and feeling, it’s real. 
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-lanza/are-dreams-an-extension-o_b_699075.html

Dreams are unconscious visual manifestations of information and memories that are already floating around in our heads. That’s why all the imagery in our dreams is familiar. 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/carolinekee/are-you-sure-you-are-not-in-a-dream-now?utm_term=.anoJQkK4n8#.kq2GDVagrz

You’d be lying if you said you had never once awoke from some skewed version of reality and thought, “what the hell?”  … Consider that your dreams may actually be telling you something really important about how you feel in your waking life; feelings that you either don’t recognize or choose to ignore. 
https://thedigestonline.com/lifestyle/are-your-dreams-telling-you-something-the-truth-unveiled/

Gloom and Doom vs Peace and Harmony

Published November 25, 2017 by tindertender

Days Gone ByReminiscing about the days gone by, she pauses periodically to let the memory fully absorb into her consciousness. She remembers the days of youth and the energies that were with it. Vibrant happiness, and also vivid unsettling emotions and experiences. Through the swing of it, she began to learn balance … oh how difficult this is, still to this day! She wonders about the future. Worrying about it will do no good, she knows this, so she tries to relax into the present moment.

Gloom has a tendency to wiggle into the center of the stomach, bringing with it doubt and fear. These are the energies which feed the snare we find ourselves in. Breathe … feel them yes, claim them, no. Often these emotions arise from an outside source, some event triggers it. Deeper into the core of us though, is peace, joy and love. The other, tries to override the naturalness of the truth of life.

Follow-your-dreams-and-use-your-natural-born
Dreams of a better tomorrow, hope in that these dreams are realized, coming to fruition at the perfect time … these things will determine the days outcome. Without hope for a spectacular future where peace reigns, havoc will bust loose and pain will overcome everything, everyone.

We can see, looking out into the world, that hope has been stripped away from a huge number of people. Is this a planned thing, or is it only training to solidify hope in the minds of the many? Who is actually pulling the strings here?

Learning how to manipulate the energies of the body and mind is crucial. Rather than being manipulated by the energies of the mind and body. We all know what it is like to walk into a room where the energies are full of a warring nature, it is thick, and can make us sick. THIS is what we are dealing with as a whole in this world, it is obvious as we look into the news, as we see the reality of it around us when we walk along in our day. Only by managing our own personal space, only by creating a calm atmosphere in our own mind, can we begin to see change … and when many people do this, the calm energies will unite and we will be able to see it on a larger scale.

Peace_home-landen1

Peace IS possible … if we believe it is …
if we work toward its reality in our own life,
it will then spill into the world.

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