I did many things. All that I embodied, I teach in woman on fire. One thing I did was I started hanging out with people that made me uncomfortable with how happy they were.
Not people who wanted something from me. Not people who distracted me awhile from my own shit, by always having a bigger catastrophe.
I started being with people who dwelled in possibility.
Who had no limit to the fun they had in their lives. To the love.
No unending pain. No sob story. Just ease.
They treated me well, which made me feel on edge. I was no longer being used by others, heavily leaned on, my boundaries weren’t always being obliterated by an immediate need of someone else.
Could I trust that? Did I want that?
I did not feel worthy.
I thought it was only a matter of time until they realized I was full of shit. I was some shaken broken being.
There was no passive aggressiveness.
So I was either bored, uncomfortable, or a little of both.
It was incredibly confronting.
Pretty soon they would realize I was NOT one of them. I was, “The Other.”
Depressed. Trauma in my background. Confusion. Self-esteem was shaky.
Made mistakes.
But they did not see that in me.
They saw and loved my essence. They helped me begin to trust myself. Trust them.
I forced myself out of the house. Into the hearts and lives of others.
I forced myself to get out of my head, which was very frightening in the early stages of depression.
To grow, you must sit with the discomfort of being with powerful people.
People who are not sad all the time.
People who are not living in regret.
People who embrace who they are and speak up.
People who are not apologetic about what is healthiest for them.
People who when they don’t like something, tell you to your face.
People who are CREATING their lives instead of reacting to their lives. Showing you it’s truly possible to do the impossible.
There will be plenty of people in arrested development:
trying to smoke
f*ck
whine
drug
complain away their lives.
You cannot surround yourself with them.
You get to be with ones that can make you jealous by how much they decide they get to have.
In woman on fire we use jealousy as a tool for intimacy. We name it, claim it, so it doesn’t get in the way. It actually becomes a GIFT to the person receiving it. What is possible when we all are showing up fully is more good than we ever thought possible.
To letting in the good. You don’t have to push it away anymore.
Question: Do spirits have any influence on our thoughts and actions?
Answer: In this regard, their influence is much greater than you would believe, for very frequently it is they who drive you.
Question: Do we have thoughts that are our own, and others that are suggested to us?
Answer: Your soul is a spirit who thinks on its own, but you must have noticed that many thoughts occur to you all at the same time, regarding the same subject, and they frequently contradict one another. Well then, in that you have a combination of your own ideas and ours, and this is what makes you confused, as you have different ideas in your mind, fighting one another.
Question: How can we distinguish between our own thoughts and those that are suggested to us?
Answer: When a thought is suggested to you, it is like a voice speaking to you. Your own thoughts are usually those that occur first. But in any case, there is not much to gain from such a distinction, and it is often more useful not to know about it, as then you act more freely. If you make the right decision, you do so more spontaneously, if you choose the wrong path, you have greater responsibility.
The Spirits’ Book, by Allen Kardec, Chapter 9, Part 2, 459, 460, 461
The influence from the “unseen” is very real. Most people do not hear them. They recognize them as their own personal thought forms … this is not the case.
Humanity has been, and continues to be, tested, or should I say “tempted”. And when you succumb to this suggested failing, they punish you for it,accept zero responsibility for the suffering they intentionally attempted, and have created, in your world, in your mind.
This is quite an interesting article on timelines and history. Link to full article below.
The Yuga Cycle doctrine tells us that we are now living in the Kali Yuga; the age of darkness, when moral virtue and mental capabilities reach their lowest point in the cycle.
“Since Egypt’s Old Kingdom, up until very recently…civilization has been going down, not up; simple as that. We can follow that degenerative process physically in Egypt; it is written into the stones and it is unmistakable. The same tale is told in the mythologies and legends of virtually all other societies and civilizations the world over…Progress does not go in a straight line from primitive ancestors to smart old us with our bobblehead dolls and weapons of mass destruction; our traffic jams and our polluted seas, skies and lands. There is another, and far more realistic, way to view history. Plato talked about a cycle of Ages: Golden, Silver, Bronze and Iron (or Dark) Age; a cycle, a wave form – not a straight line. A similar understanding is reflected by virtually all other ancient accounts. The best known, and by far the most elaborately developed of these systems, is the Hindu, with its Yuga Cycle, which corresponds to the Platonic idea of four definable Ages.”[30]
It is evident that the original Yuga Cycle was based on the Saptarsi Calendar. It was of 12,000 years duration, comprised of four Yugas of equal duration of 2,700 years each, separated by transitional periods of 300 years. The complete Yuga Cycle of 24,000 years was comprised of an ascending and descending Yuga cycle, which followed each other for eternity like the cycles of day and night. For the past 2,700 years we have been evolving through the ascending Kali Yuga, and this Yuga is coming to an end in 2025. The end of the Yuga will inevitably be followed by cataclysmic earth changes and civilization collapses, as is characteristic of the transitional periods. The Dwapara Yuga is fundamentally different from the Kali in its spiritual and material dimensions, as can be gleaned from the ancient texts. Hence, we may anticipate far-reaching changes in our environment, and possibly in our cosmic neighborhood, as we transition to this period of enhanced consciousness. The current upswing in tectonic activities and the increased incidence of extreme weather phenomena may be indicative of the fact that we are slowly entering into a period of volatile earth changes. We need to be aware of these greater cycles of time that govern human civilization, and the changes that are looming in the horizon.
I remember the countless times I canvassed the area afterwards, and asked everyone “did you see who did it”, and the popular response from the very same family members was always, “Fuck the Police, I aint no snitch, I’m gonna take care of this myself. This happened every single time, every single homicide, black on black, and then my realization became clearer.
I woke up every morning, put my freshly pressed uniform on, shined my badge, functioned checked my weapon, kissed my wife and kid, and waited for my wife to say the same thing she always does before I leave, “Make sure you come back home to us”. I always replied, “I will”, but the truth was I was never sure if I would. I almost lost my life on this job, and every call, every stop, every moment that I had this uniform on, was another possibility for me to almost lose my life again. I was a target in the very community I swore to protect, the very community I wanted to help. As a matter of fact, they hated my very presence. They called me “Uncle Tom”, and “wanna be white boy”, and I couldn’t understand why. My own fellow black men and women attacking me, wishing for my death, wishing for the death of my family. I was so confused, so torn, I couldn’t understand why my own black people would turn against me, when every time they called …I was there. Every time someone died….I was there. Every time they were going through one of the worst moments in their lives…I was there. So why was I the enemy? I dove deep into that question…Why was I the enemy? Then my realization became clearer.
Complaint: Police always targeting us, they always messing with the black man.
Fact: A city where the majority of citizens are black (Baltimore for example) …will ALWAYS have a higher rate of black people getting arrested, it will ALWAYS have a higher rate of blacks getting stopped, and will ALWAYS have a higher rate of blacks getting killed, and the reason why is because a city with those characteristics will ALWAYS have a higher rate of blacks committing crime. The statistics will follow the same trend for Asians if you go to China, for Hispanics if you go to Puerto Rico, for whites if you go to Russia, and the list goes on. It’s called Demographics
Complaint: More black people get arrested than white boys.
Fact: Black People commit a grossly disproportionate amount of crime. Data from the FBI shows that Nationwide, Blacks committed 5,173 homicides in 2014, whites committed 4,367. Chicago’s death toll is almost equal to that of both wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, combined. Chicago’s death toll from 2001–November, 26 2015 stands at 7,401. The combined total deaths during Operation Iraqi Freedom (2003-2015: 4,815) and Operation Enduring Freedom/Afghanistan (2001-2015: 3,506), total 8,321.
Complaint: Blacks are the only ones getting killed by police, or they are killed more.
Fact: As of July 2016, the breakdown of the number of US Citizens killed by Police this year is, 238 White people killed, 123 Black people killed, 79 Hispanics, 69 other/or unknown race.
Fact: Black people kill more other blacks than Police do, and there are only protest and outrage when a cop kills a black man. University of Toledo criminologist Dr. Richard R. Johnson examined the latest crime data from the FBI’s Supplementary Homicide Reports and Centers for Disease Control and found that an average of 4,472 black men were killed by other black men annually between Jan. 1, 2009, and Dec. 31, 2012. Professor Johnson’s research further concluded that 112 black men died from both justified and unjustified police-involved killings annually during this same period.
Complaint: Well we already doing a good job of killing ourselves, we don’t need the Police to do it. Besides they should know better.
The more I listened, the more I realized. The more I researched, the more I realized. I would ask questions, and would only get emotional responses & inferences based on no facts at all. The more killing I saw, the more tragedy, the more savagery, the more violence, the more loss of life of a black man at the hands of another black man….the more I realized.
I haven’t slept well in the past few nights. Heartbreak weighs me down, rage flows through my veins, and tears fills my eyes. I watched my fellow officers assassinated on live television, and the images of them laying on the ground are seared into my brain forever. I couldn’t help but wonder if it had been me, a black man, a black cop, on TV, assassinated, laying on the ground dead,..would my friends and family still think black lives mattered? Would my life have mattered? Would they make t-shirts in remembrance of me? Would they go on tv and protest violence? Would they even make a Facebook post, or share a post in reference to my death?
I realized that they refuse to believe that most cops acknowledge that there are Bad cops who should have never been given a badge & gun, who are chicken shit and will shoot a cockroach if it crawls at them too fast, who never worked in the hood and may be intimidated. That most cops dread the thought of having to shoot someone, and never see the turmoil and mental anguish that a cop goes through after having to kill someone to save his own life. Instead they believe that we are all blood thirsty killers, because the media says so, even though the numbers prove otherwise. I realize that they truly feel as if the death of cops will help people realize the false narrative that Black Lives Matter, when all it will do is take their movement two steps backwards and label them domestic terrorist. I realized that some of these people, who say Black Lives Matter, are full of hate and racism. Hate for cops, because of the false narrative that more black people are targeted and killed. Racism against white people, for a tragedy that began 100’s of years ago, when most of the white people today weren’t even born yet. I realized that some in the African-American community’s idea of “Justice” is the prosecution of ANY and EVERY cop or white man that kills or is believed to have killed a black man, no matter what the circumstances are. I realized the African American community refuses to look within to solve its major issues, and instead makes excuses and looks outside for solutions. I realized that a lot of people in the African American lead with hate, instead of love. Division instead of Unity. Turmoil and rioting, instead of Peace. I realized that they have become the very entity that they claim they are fighting against.
I realized that the very reasons I became a cop, are the very reasons my own people hate me, and now in this toxic hateful racially charged political climate, I am now more likely to die,… and it is still hard for me to understand…. to this day.
Many people have become habitual prayers, asking for this and for that. The prayer form has taken on something that resembles the three wishes of a genie … praying to the Djinn.
Prime Creator is your “partner”. If you insist on treating yourself and others like crap, well, you’ll most likely receive the same … until you actually tire of it and change your habits.
I’m no expert, not by far. However if you know about the genie (Djinn) you know what I mean. (https://occult-world.com/djinn/)
I used to believe habits needed breaking, and recently learned a better framing for that, which takes so much burden off the psyche.
We don’t break habits, we change them.
Just flow into the next format, whatever you wish to try on next. When you find a format that isn’t toxic or destructive, awesome, keep it and continue to grow.
He came in yesterday. It always seems like the same story. I know you take one look at him and think I’m talking about mange, but I’m not.
We took a sample of his blood and timed how long it took for the sample to clot. It is supposed to take no more than about 5 minutes. It took 17…
What does that mean?
It means, like many other animals that live off of rodents, this young fox likely has rodenticide poisoning. There are studies being done to test the connection between mange and rat poison. It is believed that when an animal is compromised with rat poison, they are more susceptible to mange.
I’m not a scientist. I’m not a biologist. What I am is a wildlife rehabilitator. Like others in my profession, I am the one these animals are brought to when they are poisoned and in need of help.
I am not a doctor – not in any subject.
What I am is an intelligent human being that has witnessed , first hand, the suffering and death rodenticide has brought on MANY of our birds of prey, foxes, opossums, raccoons and other predators that normally help us control the rodent population.
This MUST STOP.
PLEASE READ this article by Laura Kiesel and PARTICIPATE in the poll. So far the poll’s results are not working in this foxes favor…
The time for change is NOW.
I don’t know if we can save this guy but we are going to do everything we can.
opensenseme 
