Consciousness

All posts in the Consciousness category

HOW I GOT FREE FROM DEPRESSION

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo

I did many things. All that I embodied, I teach in woman on fire. One thing I did was I started hanging out with people that made me uncomfortable with how happy they were.

Not people who wanted something from me. Not people who distracted me awhile from my own shit, by always having a bigger catastrophe.

I started being with people who dwelled in possibility.

Who had no limit to the fun they had in their lives. To the love.

No unending pain. No sob story. Just ease.

They treated me well, which made me feel on edge. I was no longer being used by others, heavily leaned on, my boundaries weren’t always being obliterated by an immediate need of someone else.

Could I trust that? Did I want that?

I did not feel worthy.

I thought it was only a matter of time until they realized I was full of shit. I was some shaken broken being.

There was no passive aggressiveness.

So I was either bored, uncomfortable, or a little of both.

It was incredibly confronting.

Pretty soon they would realize I was NOT one of them. I was, “The Other.”

Depressed. Trauma in my background. Confusion. Self-esteem was shaky.

Made mistakes.

But they did not see that in me.

They saw and loved my essence. They helped me begin to trust myself. Trust them.

I forced myself out of the house. Into the hearts and lives of others.

I forced myself to get out of my head, which was very frightening in the early stages of depression.

To grow, you must sit with the discomfort of being with powerful people.

People who are not sad all the time.

People who are not living in regret.

People who embrace who they are and speak up.

People who are not apologetic about what is healthiest for them.

People who when they don’t like something, tell you to your face.

People who are CREATING their lives instead of reacting to their lives. Showing you it’s truly possible to do the impossible.

There will be plenty of people in arrested development:

trying to smoke

f*ck

whine

drug

complain away their lives.

You cannot surround yourself with them.

You get to be with ones that can make you jealous by how much they decide they get to have.

In woman on fire we use jealousy as a tool for intimacy. We name it, claim it, so it doesn’t get in the way. It actually becomes a GIFT to the person receiving it. What is possible when we all are showing up fully is more good than we ever thought possible.

To letting in the good. You don’t have to push it away anymore.

Pm to join us.

https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves
https://mariapalumbo.com/

Concealed Influence of Spirits on Our Thoughts and Actions

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Question: Do spirits have any influence on our thoughts and actions?

Answer: In this regard, their influence is much greater than you would believe, for very frequently it is they who drive you.

Question: Do we have thoughts that are our own, and others that are suggested to us?

Answer: Your soul is a spirit who thinks on its own, but you must have noticed that many thoughts occur to you all at the same time, regarding the same subject, and they frequently contradict one another. Well then, in that you have a combination of your own ideas and ours, and this is what makes you confused, as you have different ideas in your mind, fighting one another.

Question: How can we distinguish between our own thoughts and those that are suggested to us?

Answer: When a thought is suggested to you, it is like a voice speaking to you. Your own thoughts are usually those that occur first. But in any case, there is not much to gain from such a distinction, and it is often more useful not to know about it, as then you act more freely. If you make the right decision, you do so more spontaneously, if you choose the wrong path, you have greater responsibility.

The Spirits’ Book, by Allen Kardec, Chapter 9, Part 2, 459, 460, 461

The influence from the “unseen” is very real. Most people do not hear them. They recognize them as their own personal thought forms … this is not the case.

Humanity has been, and continues to be, tested, or should I say “tempted”. And when you succumb to this suggested failing, they punish you for it,accept zero responsibility for the suffering they intentionally attempted, and have created, in your world, in your mind.

REJECT the PROGRAMMING!!!!

They’re a bunch of CHEATS anyway.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@roozbeheslami

TO THE HUMAN WITH NO BOUNDARIES

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo

I get it.

Mom had you be her confidant
lover
sister
brother
mother
father
husband
wife

Now it gets confusing.

What is family, what does family look like?

What ARE boundaries?

What does it mean to have boundaries?

Who should I have s*x with, be naked with? Open my soul to?

Who is worthy of me, who deserves me? How much do they get to have of me?

You may want to put everything inside of you that moves. It doesn’t matter. Having little authority over your body, mind, heart growing up, it can be hard to find authority over yourself now.

Everything floods into everything. It’s hard to tell who is:

Partner
Sister
Co-creator
Friend
Brother
Mother

S*x permeates EVERYTHING. Inappropriate boundaries feels NORMAL, healthy, even s*xy.

Siblings being attracted to siblings. Not sure of how to handle the attraction, therefore acting out at each other for attention.

Who deserves your allegiance? Who does not?

When all lines were crossed.

Father looked at you and your needs/feelings/body/health of your own, no longer existed.

He made you his:

punching bag
savior
devil
victim
perpetrator
angel (the rare times you impressed him.)

Shouting in your face. Making mom seem like a welcome escape.

His love was terrifying.

Therefore you wonder: If I am terrified, then am I in love? If I am lost in a confusing web of unclear needs, is that love?

If the walls keep changing, is that love?

It feels like love.

In woman on fire we begin to separate you from everyone else. Untangle you string by string.

The ropes on your feet, around your hands, the ropes around your mouth, keeping you lost. You begin to shake free slowly, gently, from what they told you love was.

Maybe it means f*cking everything that moves, until you are sickened and so alone that you do not know what to with yourself. We will walk with you back home to you.

Maybe it means celibacy. Walking away from everything for a bit so you can feel the pulsating of your heart underneath your pu$$y. So you can feel how truly deeply they are linked. We will listen as you trust who you are again. What you really want.

Maybe it means somewhere in between. Letting in slowly your true desire. And being able to breathe deeply as the lights go on.

When you can see it all for what it truly is, you no longer live in the darkness of confusion.

I love you and I love this. Us. Together. Getting free.

Starting soon 

https://mariapalumbo.com/?fbclid=IwAR39NRxE6k0mxIFh7rOuQ9el8f5Vvx6jl2vVWlnRF00mfO9alTLQJ48AXJI

Connecting with Love

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

“It’s NOT my fault!” You say –
As you stand in silence to the lack of equity and injustices that’s displayed!

You turn your head and refuse to see the existence of such a thing –
You say I wasn’t there, how is this my fault, you sing!

Well let me tell you my friend, it’s our ability – To become, the responsibility!

To be part of the of the solution –
To educate, support and help, bring resolution!

To a world victimized by all the ism’s –
We need more activism!

I believe it is my purpose to be a Steward of the earth – For the greater good
to rebirth!

In my community, in my world –
I cannot sit in silence or turn an eye to the injustice as it swirls!

Round and round we go –
And still we do not know!

Our eyes are open yet we do not see –
When we stand in silence and let things, just be!

We continue to leave the wounds unhealed-
Because we believe we’ll stir up problems with our lips unsealed!

Well I don’t care if I rattle a few chains –
If it helps to subside the suffering pains!

I’ve wronged people in my life,
can you say you’ve not –
It’s taken courage to face this truth I’ve sought!

It’s humbled me
indeed –
Forgiveness is the ally that I breed!

I’ve been empowered to be a better human – To cultivate compassion, and weed out the inhumane!

I may not be able to change history –
Yet I’m able to change myself, my thoughts my attitude, to rewrite my story!

I must believe this to be true –
Or I will die a slow painful death, I’m sure!

Disconnection is a symptom of fear –
Fear of the unknown, ignorance that showers the soul with dreadful tears!

I may not have been physically present in the day –
However, I can still feel the sorrow and pain that was caused in every way!

I feel it in my blood, my soul.
And until I face this fact I cannot feel whole!

Half of my Ancestors were raped and murdered , stripped of their
culture –
While the other half lived in riches at their expense, like vultures!

I could say it’s not my fault, for I wasn’t there –
But the truth remains, I’m there as long as I’m aware!

I choose to listen and show up for the greater good –
That supports unity and harmony for All, as it should!

I urge you now, take your disconnection –
Find a way to turn it into Reconnection!

With Love
💖🙏🕯

By: Alicia Tarin – 2020

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@judebeck

Embrace Your Power, Your Value

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Invisible John or Jane Doe’s have no say in the personal character of others. Remember this next time you hear a negative “whisper” disguised as your own voice, or anything that attempts to steer you emotionally.

Affirmation of the Day

Published July 6, 2020 by tindertender

Morning: Today is a day to focus on the thoughts, ideas, and actions that contribute to my inner peace. I can deal with the winds of change only if I am at peace within myself. Today I banish all thoughts and actions that create disharmony. I am calm, physically and emotionally. Today, I radiate peace.

Evening: I know that I did my best today to focus on peace and calm. Tonight I rest knowing that my mind and spirit are peaceful. I can rest with a peaceful mind and face a new day tomorrow.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@morsha
Photo: https://unsplash.com/@morsha

Not Quite

Published July 5, 2020 by tindertender

They used to say, “Don’t get your hopes up too high, you may be disappointed.” In other words, “Don’t put too much faith in anything, it may never happen.”

So we learn to immediately question people, their motives, their ability, their integrity. And then we begin to question ourselves … why not? Everyone else does.

Things have gone rigid and no longer flow.

The word acceptance has been removed for many in this walk, other than the word itself.

We are suspicious, our trust in many cases, broken. Even the trust we say we hold in ourselves … after all … look what experiences we lined up! Whew!

We discover we have choices. For the first time it seems clear, obvious almost, and we ask ourselves why we would choose to put ourselves in certain situations … for years … just barely moving along, stagnant in most areas.

Yet still, we listen to those outside of us, telling us about our ‘faults’, reminding us that we are not perfect, and in their book, unworthy.

We think, what?!?!?

Perhaps at this point we begin to note that we’d rather listen to our own perceptions and judgement of self.

We recognize another’s voice when negative thoughts travels through our mind … the memory of it stuck there like a broken record, playing … and playing … so often we may not even be aware of it any longer, until we are and we ask ourself, how long has this been going on?

We tell ourself that a decade old memory accompanied by pain that we never dealt with will no longer have lease in our life. We begin to shed … like a snake, and it’s messy. We may detest the process thinking it disgusting, or at the very least, uncomely.

Judgement comes and we sink, and then we recognize the self sabotage. We want to kick our self but understand we can no longer do that. So we are gentle with our self. We understand the situation like no other, and we love our self through the process, through the release.

Or not … not quite yet.

Perhaps we haven’t felt the rawness of it fully enough to gain that push forward. Maybe we are so accustomed to it, life without it seems … impossible?

Whatever it is …

It’s all in our mind.

The inner manifesting into the outer.

The perfect reflection.

Don’t like what you see?

Get serious about shifting it …

In your mind.

The rest will follow.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@jontyson

Oracle Reading 7-4-2020

Published July 4, 2020 by tindertender

Heart of the Issue: Strategy: We live in a world where logic and rationality reign supreme. Athena makes her decisions most often with her head and not her heart. There is very little emotion in her cool demeanor, and she keeps her eyes firmly on the prize. This is not the most balanced way to conduct your life. While this kind of sharp, intelligent maneuvering may be acceptable on a battlefield, it may not be so suitable in friendships and other close relationships.

The Challenge: Authenticity: Sadly, as time went on and stories became Christianized, Baba Yaga became an evil witch figure who ate children and was punished by the hero for her various evil deeds. Instead of being a challenging figure, she became a rigid character of disruption and blockage, only inspiring fear. We too can become this way at times – too afraid to be flexible or not brave enough to show our true selves. While we may not be called evil hags for this, like Baba Yaga, the energy is one that creates obstacles, difficulties, and drama. It’s always a powerful thing to know ourselves and to actively be ourselves. If we recognize that, we need not generate the negative energy that comes with pretending to be someone we are not.

Examine your darker aspects. You are being shown the way forward. Your path is illuminated, and there is no need to feel lost or indecisive. Something that has been lost to you will be found.

The Solution: Illumination: Hekate is a goddess of the dark underworld and, paradoxically, is a torchbearer who brings the light to this same darkness. Illuminating the darkest pathways, this magnetic goddess invites you to travel the shadows with her, but only under her wise guidance. Hekate is often depicted standing at the crossroads with a three-headed dog (past-present-future) so she is the ideal goddess to call upon if you feel lost, you don’t know which direction to turn, or you are working to improve yourself.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@emcomeau

Reading from the deck “Goddesses and Sirens” created by Stacey Demarco