Choice

All posts tagged Choice

Lust Destroyed ~ Loses Favor with Love

Published April 14, 2024 by tindertender

As I sat in the bath I cried. The realization hit me hard and I called out to TMH asking, “Why do I have to die every time I fall in love?”

Three times in life I have loved a man deeply.

The first, aged 15-17, beat me, choked me, raped me, all under the nose of my “guardians” for he mooched his way under the roof and into security.

The second 18-20, innocent, sweet, and a slave to his phallus. I came home after work to find him and his ex on the sofa nearly naked. A heart shattering. Blind faith destroyed. Trust obliterated.

The third, aged 24-31, I won’t go into detail. Infidelity. A slave to his phallus. A moving out. Dog murdered, job lost, homeless, living in car.

It’s obvious someone cursed me. That every time I loved, I would also be shattered.

I’ve determined I’m no longer willing to “die” for love of a man. He has proven himself unworthy of the essence herein. I connect to TMH, my King of the highest heavenly mountain, and deny the rest.

After 22 years of conscious attack within the field of awareness (and 37 years prior of sleeper attack) I woke this morning feeling as tho I had been eclipsed out of their reach. I thought, it’s all well and good.

Solitude in my life, solitude in my mind. I need no ripples in my waters made by an other who feels the need to dictate my moves, my mood, my life. There is no value in such a connection and I’m not willing to pay the price. It simply isn’t an equal give and take. It’s parasitical, and I won’t feed into it any more.

I choose me. I am worthy of the value of the gift TMH has given ME. It’s weird how some say,”bring all that is yours as tho it is mine.”

I say, if you were worthy of such a gift TMH would have bestowed it upon you.

But he didn’t. He gave it to me.

Pawing … energetically, physically, by those who desire to TAKE the gift from me, to claim it, to control it, to flaunt the wealth of it to their friends… to hurt the source and play with hoes draining the essence, dressing up in the energy, prancing about as a lord.

No.

No more.

I choose me.

I choose to be eclipsed out of this energy.

TMH knows where I’m at if he needs me. If our family, true blue, needs me they know where I am.

I no longer entertain parasites who cannot win the battle with the snake they must live with.

I’ve no need.

TMH has provided.

And the whispered questions of “Who will be with the woman?” Go unanswered.

Hidden harvesters of the Stars, who don’t abide in Love.

Isaiah 54:17

Published April 2, 2024 by tindertender

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgement
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

Military Prepared

Published April 1, 2024 by tindertender

They’re getting ready for the return of Christ (The Son / from beyond the Sun).
5 days, and counting down, to right many wrongs.
Be prepared.

Open Your Heart to the Sun

Published March 31, 2024 by tindertender

Excerpts from “Spring and Easter”, Open your heart to the Sun ~ The Way of the Sun ~
White Eagle’s teaching for the festivals of the year

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… man has been put into a physical body in order to learn to free himself from the bondage of matter and to fill the physical life with the beauty, happiness, well-being and health that God intends him to have. In other words, to attain mastery over physical matter. By self-discipline, by subjugation of the lower instincts the selfishness which is the flesh, and man can be reborn into the spirit. In time the spirit will command the whole earth and the golden age will come on earth.

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“He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do …”

Every man has this gift within him, but the creative power which man has to change himself, to change the world, is not loud, noisy, and quarrelsome – it is the humble, gentle, loving spirit. It is the gentle spirit of Christ which you all have within you which is the power that performs miracles.

This… is what will save mankind, not the crucifixion of the Master on a cross, but the crucifixion of the lower self and the release of the glorious son of God in man.

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This is a lesson which Easter has to teach. It is a time of sweet surrender to the light and beauty of the spirit; and within this surrender comes the great outpouring from the Son, Christ, to bless the child of God.

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… you can only arrive at constant renewal by cultivating awareness and faith in God.

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Understand that life itself is the Son in you, and the Son is the Christ spirit. The real you, the essence of you … is part of the Christ spirit, for you are not the little earthly personality that you think you are. You came from God, you are part of God, you are God’s seed.

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A master is one who has by hard work and self-discipline and divine love in himself – and in giving his divine love, giving all gentleness and kindness to his brethren – attained to a degree of mastery of matter. You too have to learn how to rise in spirit and command flesh.

You are now in the process of crucifixion. It is very painful, your life may be hard, you get weary of the burden, and the cross you bear is more than you can stand sometimes; but it is only the power of the spirit of Christ within you that will enable you to rise and carry that burden as though it did not exist. This is for you, it is for everyone on this earth plane, to understand, and to set to work to develop more and more this divine love in the heart.

Through development of divine love in the heart, wisdom comes, knowledge comes. With the coming of knowledge and wisdom and love the whole being of man will be suffused with the power of heaven.

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Some people think that love is purely an emotion and that therefore the voice of love cannot satisfy their reason; but love in its divine sense completely satisfies. And when fully developed in man it can raise him from the valley to the heights, giving him a range of vision which is only possible from the apex of the mountain.

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‘Salvation’ is the true word to describe the mission of the Christ spirit; for when the Christ spirit becomes alive in man, man is literally saved from his sins; he lives in the light, and brings the light into the world. Once the Christ quickens within him, the world can no longer touch him. This is what salvation means – not salvation through belief in one particular man, but salvation by reason of the Christ love within man himself. This will forbid him to wage war against his brother or to treat his brother as less than himself; but will inspire him to words and actions of kindness and consideration, to work for God in his daily life, to live in consciousness of a glory which is above, around and within him, and in all life. This is salvation by Christ. Always the Lord of this earth, the Sun, the Son who is the savior of mankind, quickens the life of the spirit in man.

Personal Deposit

Published March 25, 2024 by tindertender

As individual, we are the only one we will share every moment of this life with. (Besides our Higher Source). Sometimes, it is we who are the only kind person around.

If we’ve been trained to believe tending to self is selfish, we will neglect self … our best friend in the world. Often, the only one who will pick us up when we fall. (S)He deserves the utmost care any most precious and loyal friend deserves. Don’t wait for someone else to treat you kindly. It rarely comes.

Some people say you should pay yourself first, putting a few bucks in the bank.

Your cup needs this same deposit in order for you to continue pouring kindness out for others.

But First, Death

Published March 23, 2024 by tindertender

Pain.
It can drown a person.
It will stuff them into a deep, dark, moist pit of a well, with smooth walls and no ladder or rope, a hell.
The emotional darkness can become overwhelming.
How long we decide to stay is up to us.
Expanding beyond the trauma, to encompass it rather than being drowned by it is a challenge.
It feels like dying, because it is.
A dying of that which was, in order to expand into something, someone, new.
Over and over again, this expansion occurs,
Until finally the pain is surrounded, encompassed.
Now, outside of the pain, you can see it more clearly.
And dismantling it, healing it, becomes possible.
But first,
Death.
And courage,
To face a new dawn.

Transparency ~ As Real as it Gets

Published March 21, 2024 by tindertender

Starting each day I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair so that we can know each other better.

I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view, and discover the least threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we both are growing and changing in a hundred different ways.

I shall remind myself that I am a human being and not demand perfection from you until I am perfect…..so….you’re safe…….

https://g.co/kgs/kH5zRcQ

One Life

Published March 18, 2024 by tindertender

I counted my years and found that I have less time to live from here on than I have lived up to now.
I feel like that child who won a packet of sweets: he ate the first with pleasure, but when he realized that there were few left, he began to enjoy them intensely.

I no longer have time for endless meetings where statutes, rules, procedures and internal regulations are discussed, knowing that nothing will be achieved.

I no longer have time to support the absurd people who, despite their chronological age, haven’t grown up.

My time is too short:
I want the essence,
my soul is in a hurry.
I don’t have many sweets
in the package anymore.
I want to live next to human people,
very human, who know how to laugh at their mistakes, and who are not inflated by their triumphs, and who take on their responsibilities.
Thus human dignity is defended and we move towards truth and honesty.

It is the essential that makes life worth living.
I want to surround myself with people who know how to touch hearts, people who have been taught by the hard blows of life to grow with gentle touches of the soul.

Yes, I’m in a hurry, I’m in a hurry to live with the intensity that only maturity can give.

I don’t intend to waste any of the leftover sweets.
I am sure they will be delicious, much more than what I have eaten so far.

My goal is to reach the end satisfied
and at peace with my loved ones
and my conscience.

We have two lives.

And the second begins when you realize you only have one.

Beautiful poem by Mario de Andrade (San Paolo 1893-1945) Poet, novelist, essayist and musicologist.
Via Sisterhood connecting as one.🐝

I Am … A Memory of Notes Long Ago

Published March 17, 2024 by tindertender

If you use your “I Am” statements in a negative fashion, you will bring all of that upon yourself.

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Whatever you do purely out of selfish motivation will not be successful.

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Rules vs Power

Rules place a thumb upon another, power and control.

Power preserves tradition history, roles suited to best serve the whole.

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One positive and one negative cancel each other out. If one wishes third party relations and the other wishes sacred union, it’ll never work. It will be chaos, like never living goodness at all. Misery. Yet some love and even require your misery in order to get along.

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I’m not a bad cat.

8-9-10

You can gauge your love vibration by how gentle the heart is.

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She’s a frozen fire.

By the sky above me, by the land below me, by the fire to my right hand, by the water to my left, may the Powers of Nature bless and protect me, now and always.

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Space, time, love. Fundamentals of life.

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We all have to eat shit in our lives, literally, figuratively, whatever. Regurgitated shit spewing in faces everywhere we go.

The thing is, this is also the forging fire. That which tries to break us by feeding us garbage, we turn into a transforming fire that makes us so much more that we could have ever imagined.

It often resonates through familial lineage through constant connections through various incarnations … and the shit storm stutters when they’ve realized you’ve changed, you’ve developed a taste for shit and smile anyway, living your best life.

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We all have suffered pain … from childhood, relationship, job status, income level and all that entails. Often, especially the younger ones, rebel, holler, swear, fight, hurt self, hurt others. Actions that scream I am in pain, I am suffering! Take this off of me! And they put that pain, anger, rage out onto others, perpetuating it.

We must stop, become aware, reclaim our energies, our efforts, and redirect them to the polar opposite of suffering. Take it all and create its polar opposite, rather than being puppet, slave to emotional bondage.

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Television programming desensitizes people to chaos, making the brain numb and sort of zombified when it comes to empathy. Newscasters have become nothing more than talk-show hosts.

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We all like to think we are a “main player” in the game. No one wants to realize they’ve been a pawn all along. Others may even tell you, you are a main player to continue the cycle, to bring damage. We want to believe we are worthy so badly we often do things our conscious pings us about for status gain. Beguiling.

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If circumstances take you out of your love space, you’ve then been rendered useless to the progression of love … of creating peace for you and all you encounter.

I Release the Dream

Published March 14, 2024 by tindertender

Here we are, between worlds. Stagnant are we, waiting to see what direction this river will take.

Will it flow?

Will it get jammed, as in a winter rage?

Will it dry up?

Will it create a new path?

I need not know. I need not know the players. I need not know my role. I need not know who’s right or who’s wrong, or how it ends.

I need not know what I deserve, or the fate of any other.

I release the dream and I step forth into a new reality, whatever that may be.

May the collection of life’s challenges be remembered as I pull from the strength gained thru them, resilient, persistent, determined … determined to live as happy as I am able despite those who would snuff the promise of reward.

I release the dream, while it still lives.

If it’s meant for me it will be.

After all, everything experienced, everything, can be used to shoot the arrow forward, or break the bow.

Choice.

It’s where the Power is.