Decades old pain arose, surprising me, for I thought I had put it to rest. Well, I did put it to rest … without the proper processing necessary first.
I cried for a whole day. And even some on the second day.
I told myself to stop living in the past, to push it aside, to shut off the tears, to ‘woman’ up.
And then I spoke to some very dear friends, one of which asked me this:
Do you take a shower to wash your body?
I said, yes.
She said, “Tears are a cleansing for the soul. It washes it pure after trauma, or heartbreak of any kind.”
She explained to me that I should NEVER shut down my tears, that I should pay very close attention to what is being “washed away”, to feel it thoroughly and then release it.
After this talk, I vow to never put a damper on my tears, never to put the breaks on any release of past hurt or trauma.
I will allow my tears to wash my pain.
I will permit the process of healing in my person.
In January, Australia caught on fire. I don’t even know if that fire was put out, because we straight up almost went to war with Iran. We might actually still be almost at war with them. I don’t know, because Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt spoke to one another at an awards show and everyone flipped the f— out, but then there was thing happening in China, then Prince Harry and Megan peaced out of the Royal family, and there was the whole impeachment trial, and then corona virus showed up in the US “officially,” but then Kobe died and UK peaced out of the European Union.
In February, Iowa crapped itself with the caucus results and the president was acquitted and the Speaker of the House took ten years to rip up a speech, but then WHO decided to give this virus a name COVID-19, which confused some really important people in charge of, like, our lives, into thinking there were 18 other versions before it, but then Harvey Weinstein was found guilty, and Americans started asking if Corona beer was safe to drink, and everyone on Facebook became a doctor who just knew the flu like killed way more people than COVID 1 through 18.
In March, shit hit the fan. Warren dropped out of the presidential race and Sanders was like Bernie or bust, but then Italy shut its whole ass down, and then COVID Not 1 through 18 officially become what everyone already realized, a pandemic and then a nationwide state of emergency was declared in US, but it didn’t really change anything, so everyone was confused or thought it was still just a flu, but then COVID Not 18 was like ya’ll not taking me seriously? I’m gonna infect the one celebrity everyone loves and totally infected Tom Hanks, but then the DOW took a shit on itself, and most of us still don’t understand why the stock market is so important or even a thing (I still don’t), but then we were all introduced to Tiger King. (Carol totally killed her husband), and Netflix was like you’re welcome, and we all realized there was no way we were washing our hands enough in the first place because all of our hands are now dry and gross.
In April, Bernie finally busted himself out of the presidential race, but then NYC became the set of The Walking Dead and we learned that no one has face masks, ventilators, or toilet paper, or THE FREAKING SWIFFER WET JET LIQUID, but then Kim Jong-Un died, but then he came back to life… or did he? Who knows, because then the Pentagon released videos of UFOs and nobody cared, and we were like man, it’s only April….
In May, the biblical end times kicked off historical locust swarms and then we learned of murder hornets and realized that 2020 was the start of the Hunger Games but people forgot to let us know, but then people legit protested lockdown measures with AR-15s, and then sports events were cancelled everywhere. But then people all over America finally reached a breaking point with race issues and violence. There were protests in every city, but then people forgot about the pandemic called COVID Not 1 through 18. Media struggled with how to focus on two important things at once, but then people in general struggle to focus on more than one important thing, and a dead whale was found in the middle of the Amazon rain forest after monkeys stole COVID 1 Through 19 from a lab and ran off with them, and either in May or April (no one is keeping track of time now) that a giant asteroid narrowly missed Earth.
In June, science and common sense just got thrown straight out the window and somehow wearing masks became a political thing, but then a whole lot of people realized the south was actually the most unpatriotic thing ever and actually lost the civil war, and there are a large amount of people who feel that statues they don’t even know the name of are needed for … history reasons….. but then everyone sort of remembered there was a pandemic, but then decided that not wearing a mask was somehow a God given right (still haven’t found that part in the bible or even in the constitution), but then scientists announced they found a mysterious undiscovered mass at the center of the earth, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT, but then everyone took a pause to realize that people actually believed Gone With The Wind was like non-fiction, but then it was also announced that there is a strange radio signal coming from somewhere in the universe that repeats itself every so many days, and everyone was like DON’T YOU DARE ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE WITH IT, but then America reopened from the shut down that actually wasn’t even a shut down, and so far, things have gone spectacularly not that great, but everyone is on Facebook arguing that masks kill because no one knows how breathing works, but then Florida was like hold my beer and let me show you how we’re number one in all things, including new Not Corona Beer Corona Virus. Trump decides now is a good time to ask the Supreme Court to shut down Obama Care because what better time to do so than in the middle of a pandemic, but then we learned there was a massive dust cloud coming straight at us from the Sahara Desert, which is totally normal, but this is 2020, so the ghost mummy thing is most likely in that dust cloud, but then I learned of meth-gators, and I’m like that is so not on my f-ing 2020 Bingo card, but then we learned that the Congo’s worst ever Ebola outbreak is over, and we were all like, there was an Ebola outbreak that was the worst ever?
In July…. Aliens? Zeus? Asteroids? Artificial Intelligence becomes self aware?
Thanks to whoever started this. I have no idea who wrote this; and damn it, I want to know. Also, why didn’t I know about the whale in the Amazon?
The Masculine: “All we have to do is get her to commit.”
The Feminine: “She can hear you.”
Yes … they seem surprised at my reach. They forget I have control and influence as to the depths I travel.
I should have known the sweet talk were all lies, attempts to ensnare.
They speak sweetly. They play to ego, saying how beautiful you are, how smart, how strong. They’ll say how they love you, how they can’t help themselves. They will call you “tantalizing”. They want you to be open and vulnerable to suggestion, they want you to believe their schpeel.
But it is false … after all, they dwell behind scenes, influencing thought and action. This is their reality and thus far they have been very successful, influencing individuals, and groups.
Their favorite words thus far for 2020 are “Sacrifice” your soul, and “Sacrilege” … yes, they would like all people to believe they are ‘sinners’ while the hidden causes so much influential destruction. They’ll blame you for this destruction. They’ll attempt to make you guilty for it.
They use fear should the false ‘love’ talk be not enough. They will tell you how they will make you suffer, how they will break you. They will ‘warn’ you as to the wording you choose, they will tell you it’s for your ‘safety’.
Good cop, bad cop, scrambling your mind …. do they like me? or do they hate me?
Probably both, but mostly, they probably fear you.
They fear that you will get wise to the tactics. They fear you will stand your ground and not succumb to their manipulations. They fear you will ‘commit’ to a higher order or purpose.
They fear losing control of your inner power.
They fear someone else might influence you, to their detriment.
They will try to get you to harm self, or others.
They will attempt to ‘reboot’ your existence through death. They do not want you here interrupting or influencing their control efforts.
This is quite an interesting article on timelines and history. Link to full article below.
The Yuga Cycle doctrine tells us that we are now living in the Kali Yuga; the age of darkness, when moral virtue and mental capabilities reach their lowest point in the cycle.
“Since Egypt’s Old Kingdom, up until very recently…civilization has been going down, not up; simple as that. We can follow that degenerative process physically in Egypt; it is written into the stones and it is unmistakable. The same tale is told in the mythologies and legends of virtually all other societies and civilizations the world over…Progress does not go in a straight line from primitive ancestors to smart old us with our bobblehead dolls and weapons of mass destruction; our traffic jams and our polluted seas, skies and lands. There is another, and far more realistic, way to view history. Plato talked about a cycle of Ages: Golden, Silver, Bronze and Iron (or Dark) Age; a cycle, a wave form – not a straight line. A similar understanding is reflected by virtually all other ancient accounts. The best known, and by far the most elaborately developed of these systems, is the Hindu, with its Yuga Cycle, which corresponds to the Platonic idea of four definable Ages.”[30]
It is evident that the original Yuga Cycle was based on the Saptarsi Calendar. It was of 12,000 years duration, comprised of four Yugas of equal duration of 2,700 years each, separated by transitional periods of 300 years. The complete Yuga Cycle of 24,000 years was comprised of an ascending and descending Yuga cycle, which followed each other for eternity like the cycles of day and night. For the past 2,700 years we have been evolving through the ascending Kali Yuga, and this Yuga is coming to an end in 2025. The end of the Yuga will inevitably be followed by cataclysmic earth changes and civilization collapses, as is characteristic of the transitional periods. The Dwapara Yuga is fundamentally different from the Kali in its spiritual and material dimensions, as can be gleaned from the ancient texts. Hence, we may anticipate far-reaching changes in our environment, and possibly in our cosmic neighborhood, as we transition to this period of enhanced consciousness. The current upswing in tectonic activities and the increased incidence of extreme weather phenomena may be indicative of the fact that we are slowly entering into a period of volatile earth changes. We need to be aware of these greater cycles of time that govern human civilization, and the changes that are looming in the horizon.
A Blessing of Clear Foresight ~ A gift is given this day, friend to you, a blessing of the faeries true. This gift is that of long vision, the ability to see the consequences of actions taken in the present, and, indeed, the outcome of decisions of the past. With this blessing of clear foresight, may you be blessed with the ability to see the lasting influence of what it is you choose to do – what will you be granting to the future of this world, to the children, to the ones who come after.
A Blessing to Undo an Unfortunate Gris ~ This blessings will help undo the impact of an unfortunate pattern within your life. Geis is what the Celts believed we were born with, a theme or a story that would be told over and over in our lives, gifted to us by the goddess Arianrhod, often seen as a curse rather than a blessing. So, when we have these patterns, these ravelled-up bits of our life that we seem to get caught up in and tangled within, like a web we keep getting pulled back into, the faery can help us unravel it and come to a kind of peace with it. It does not mean we will no longer have the pattern or frailty, but we will be less hurt and harmed by it. For we all have our challenges, and it is how we deal with the challenges and the blessings we make of them that matters.
A Blessing of Healing ~ To you now is offered the immense faery gift of healing. Faeries heal – they tend to and care for the wounded parts of human hearts and bodies and minds, they care for animals who are unwell and delicate, and they tend the plant world and the allies of the elemental realm. Faeries and their gift of healing is yours now – bring them to your hurts, concerns, and sorrows. They will help to heal you by bringing to you the plants and the animals and the natural spaces and places that can bring you to a better state.
We love to play with herbs, making healing potions, salves and elixers. We grow our medicinal gardens, singing as we weed, speaking to our growing friends.
Many think us crazy … a little scary … they do not understand us, but fear us. Watching us flow, the power that resides in us moving in space and time, they sense the strength and get uncomfortable … and try to eliminate the discomfort by judging and demonizing us.
No, I’m not a witch.
I do love to burn candles and think of the fiery love that is born and spewed into the world from it tho, I add my intention to the flame and spread it like wildfire.
I have crystal grids in my house and an alter to the goddess within all feminine. I pray for her, for her health and for her recognition. I pray for love to come to her.
No, I do not consider myself a witch.
I spend time in dance, in song, in feeling the intricate portions of my inner being, and I see it connected to all life.
The feminine are my sisters and the masculine my brothers.
I am working diligently to gain a greater understanding of my masculine family … they are as confusing to me, as I am sure I am confusing to them.
Understanding does not come without an open mind and effort to understand without judgement.
Judgement cause rigidity.
Rigidity closes doors to understanding.
Resting in this place, it is dark. There, no light can shine upon truth for the door has been shut to it.
No, I am not a witch.
I only seek greater understanding of all familial aspects in this life.
So I can see their point of view.
So I do not accidentally crap on what they consider sacred.
So I can honor them in their place of beingness.
For Love.
May the Sun and the Moon grace us with their being and beauty, always and ever.
May the waters be purified, so we may drink from them once more.
May the sea creatures, the flying ones, the walking and the crawling ones be kept safe as this purification occurs.
May minds remain calm as they are opened and exposed to the greater reality.
I called the seller and was told it was a cash only offer and that “I’m sure that takes you off the table”.
Don’t you ever underestimate a hard working black man. I saw the house last week and when I walked in I knew I was home.
The house was built in 1820 for the Russell family who owned the cotton mill in town. Slavery was still legal. When the agent asked me why I wanted such a large house I said it was “a generational move”.
I know this house is bigger than me. I wish I could’ve told my ancestors when they were breaking their back in 1820 to build this house that 200 years later a free gay black man was going to own it and fill it with love and find a way to say their name even when 200 years later they still thought I would be “off the table”.
We are building our own tables.
I’ve never been prouder to be a black man.
Come to my White House any time. I can’t wait to have you! Glory to God in the highest.
opensenseme 
