In the astral, I came to a place, a café, where many people were. I went inside, and while there, the mini travel bus I came on drove off. I did not have the cab fare to get back to where I came from. A woman handed me a basket and suggested I go around asking for donations, so I did. Most gave a little, then I came to a table where two men sat. They pushed some paper money to the edge of the table. They said they would donate, but they wanted the window seat, privilege’s, in exchange for the “donation”. I turned from them, leaving the money on the table. The owner of the cafe chased me down, yelling at me, saying they treated these two men very well, and that I offended them. I said sorry, but I will not agree to give them anything for their donation. Either they wanted to out of kindness, or they did not want to. A few women started to laugh. They said I could graduate with honors. I replied that I did not want to graduate, only go on vacation.
This is why I’m having such a difficulty with the message of a woman yesterday, telling me that the angels will provide protection, but only if you give them something in return, a loyalty, a vulnerability.
I feel as though I’m forced to walk away from the angels too, for as in the cafe, giving comes from the heart … giving doesn’t require a reciprocation in order to receive the gift. Of course reciprocation is nice, and I strive to do just that in all situations …. good or bad, I’ll be your mirror … but to say I now “owe” you for what you offered me is not cool man, and it is not the way true love works.
This woman’s message leaves me feeling betrayed by the very ones who offered me so much relief. The only ones who offered me such relief. I feel as though I must stop working with them, for their assistance is “conditional”, according to this one female, who knows quite a bit I might add.
It feels like a betrayal by those I’ve come to trust.
I put away my materials, my prayers, and my intentions to connect with them.
If they require me to fight demons in order to receive protection, I’ll just walk away. I was already doing that …. and will continue on my own. I don’t need to do this under the “guidance” of another, I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing, and practice my resilience.
Perhaps I’m meant to suffer through these attacks without assistance. Perhaps I need the intensity of it in order to truly expand.
So I have to separate from the very ones I’ve built a relationship with … the ones I’ve come to trust …. because I’m told this relationship has expectations and conditions … just like puny little human relationships.
No better ……
What a sincere disappointment.
I guess ALL relationships only last for a time, then fade due to stipulation and expectancies.
Reciprocal relationship is not dependent on a debt owed, or a “I helped you, now you have to help me”. Reciprocation comes from the heart, not from requirement. As soon as reciprocation become requirement, the relationship is no longer free …. it becomes bound.
