Sometimes life tests us. Those who bring chaos and misery to our door are constantly knocking. Tires get flattened and in need of replacement. Someone shoots the dog with a BB gun. Someone hit and runs the car. Someone lies … and lies and lies … we are tested.
Today, rather than let this shady world get me down, I visited the Sun, and the beautiful garden it maintains with the help of humanity.
The entry
Rawr!!
Some pretty, pretty flowers
Check out these bonsais. One of them is 300 years old!
I hope their awakening is more gentle than mine was. It is why I share what I share. Even tho they may think me crazy, and say just as much to another.
Simply existing in the most gentle way possible with self and others is a rebellion. This in no way means that there isn’t difficult work to do.
Depression isn’t a disease needing treated by Pharma. It’s an emotional imbalance, needing attention and the hard inner work of harmonizing the imbalance.
They knew the truth before they even began.
You can make plans if you want just remember, life is fluid.
That’s the thing about this realm, everything appears to be false.
Anything other than presence in this now moment, is either a fantasy of the future, or a memory of the past.
Often in this life people come to us as little round pebbles, they get under our feet, disrupting our foundation, our balance. We stumble, we fall… we hurt ourselves.
I guess living is in knowing there will always be pebbles, bringing challenges to our equilibrium. How will we manage this rolling foundation? This constantly shifting path we are on?
Will we get angry, disappointed, sad, frustrated, vengeful … will we release the need to respond at all, and just flow, knowing for some, we too are little round marbles of stone?
Cure not to repeat the same mistakes. Heal so as not to kill alien worlds. Healing so as not to dirty other hearts. Heal so as not to harm. Cure not to give half love. Cure not to be conformist. Heal to realize that flowers grow in gardens, not in the desert. Heal so as not to self-destruct. Heal to clean my bowels.
And even though my throat has thousands of knots.
And even though it was almost impossible for me to break old habits, I wanted to heal, because that’s what the brave do.
Forgive. Love. Release. Heal.
There is still a long way to go, the universe knows that I still have a long way to go, but day by day I am removing from my skin what made me suffer.
“I’m doing this, I’m doing this…” I keep healing the most important person in my life, I keep healing FOR ME…
Here we are, between worlds. Stagnant are we, waiting to see what direction this river will take.
Will it flow?
Will it get jammed, as in a winter rage?
Will it dry up?
Will it create a new path?
I need not know. I need not know the players. I need not know my role. I need not know who’s right or who’s wrong, or how it ends.
I need not know what I deserve, or the fate of any other.
I release the dream and I step forth into a new reality, whatever that may be.
May the collection of life’s challenges be remembered as I pull from the strength gained thru them, resilient, persistent, determined … determined to live as happy as I am able despite those who would snuff the promise of reward.
I release the dream, while it still lives.
If it’s meant for me it will be.
After all, everything experienced, everything, can be used to shoot the arrow forward, or break the bow.
There is a difference between being entertained, and worshipping the entertainer.
I’m not religious. I was raised in an abundant forested area. My guardians never spoke of God, or anything holy. We did not have tv, we did not have money for concerts or movies. I fell in love with the life which surrounded me … the waters, the trees and bushes of the forest, the animals which lived there from the creepy crawlies to the elk, cougar, bear and birds, the songsters and the birds of prey.
Today during quiet time it became very clear to me, I saw it plain.
Idol worship is forbidden in the Bible, yet people do it all the time. In rock stars and such, movie stars, sports teams and players, even one’s favorite newscaster. Those whose only purpose is to entertain the people, for a moment, but the entertainment turns into worship and idolization of the entertainer.
It’s happening every day on such a wide scale. What happens to idol worshippers in the Bible?
Physical and Spiritual death.
It is said Satan has the right to test people, to lure them away from their Divinity and heavenly home. So many have succumbed, even I. When I became aware, rather shatteringly to the reality, I was spiritually accosted and feasted upon. Twenty years I suffered greatly.
Thanks be to my Heavenly Father for statute of limitations. Thank you for teaching me to persevere through challenges put upon me. Thank you for opportunity to speak into the collective via this platform.
She with the courageous heart and the wild soul. She who says, “This is me. This is who I am.”
She wasn’t always this way.
For many years she was hidden away. Revealing herself fully only in the words of her journal and in her closest friendships. Showing up in her truth only when she felt safe enough to be vulnerable.
But now she’s changed. From her appearance to her writing, she’s a whole different woman.
SHE’S THE WOMAN WHO WAS WAITING INSIDE OF HER ALL ALONG.
It was not easy for her, this transformation. She didn’t just step into this embodied self the way you would gracefully step up a staircase.
She had to go deep inside of herself to find this version of herself.
She dug and descended. Explored and excavated. Re-membered, re-defined and re-birthed.
And now here she stands: Battle weary. Flawed. Tender.
She’s cried countless tears and faced many shadows. But it doesn’t take much to see there’s something different about her.
What is it? Can you feel it?
Yes that’s it…
IT’S NOT SO MUCH HOW SHE LOOKS. IT’S WHAT SHE’S EMANATING.
She’s grounded in her Wisdom. Firm in her Strength. And rooted in her Truth.
She may look like she’s been to hell and back, and in many ways she has, but the raging fire only devoured everything about her that was no longer true.
And what was left behind after all the layers of untruths were burned to the ground was her true essence.
She’s rising out of the ashes now, this Phoenix woman. She’s orienting her life to who she has become.
It’s all brand new to her and she’s far from having it all figured out. But little by little, she’s finding out exactly what it means to be a Sovereign Woman.”
A man and his wife traveled to the zoo. They found a monkey that played passionately with his female. His wife told him: “what a romance.”
Then they found a lion and his lioness separated from each other; the lion was silent and alone in his corner as if the lioness did not exist. His wife told him: “what a sad scene without love.”
Her husband then told her: “throw that stone at the lioness and watch.” When she threw it down, the lion leaped roaring to defend his lioness. They saw the monkeys again and she did the same by throwing a stone; the monkey then jumped and abandoned his female to save his hide.
Her husband tells her later: “do not be fooled by what you see as romanticism in some, many times it is a deceptive appearance that hides an empty heart; there are others on the contrary who do not show anything, but their hearts are full of sincere love”.
Unfortunately today we have so many monkeys and so few lions.
opensenseme 