Here, the narcissist is mentioned as female, the storyline, however, fits both genders.

If you’re entangled with a narcissistic woman, know this: she’s mastered the art of manipulation. She’ll go to extreme lengths to impress strangers, putting on a flawless, charming act in public while treating you—the man she claims to love—with contempt behind closed doors. It’s a well-crafted game: she builds a shining public image so that if you ever speak up about her toxic behavior, others won’t believe you. They’ll see her as the perfect, kind, caring woman and question your perspective instead. This two-faced approach is designed to isolate you, making you feel trapped and questioning your own reality.

Narcissistic women use calculated, dangerous tactics to keep you confused, controlled, and emotionally drained. Here are five key strategies they use to manipulate you and protect their own image.

1. Love Bombing to Create Dependency

In the beginning, she’ll overwhelm you with affection, admiration, and attention. This phase is called love bombing, and it’s designed to make you feel like you’re the most important person in her world. She’ll shower you with compliments, spend as much time with you as possible, and make you believe she’s “the one.” This is a trap, meant to hook you emotionally and create a deep sense of dependency. Once you’re fully invested, the love bombing stops, and the real game begins.

2. Gaslighting to Distort Your Reality

One of the most insidious tactics narcissists use is gaslighting. She’ll twist conversations, deny things she’s said or done, and make you doubt your memory and perception. She may say something hurtful, then deny it happened when you confront her, making you question your sanity. The goal is to destabilize you mentally, so you start doubting your own judgment. In “The 48 Laws of Power,” Robert Greene discusses how controlling someone’s perception is one of the strongest forms of manipulation.

3. Triangulation to Create Jealousy and Self-Doubt

Narcissistic women will often bring a third party into the mix to make you feel insecure and keep you off balance. This is known as triangulation. She may casually mention how much another man respects or admires her, or she might subtly flirt in front of you, making you feel inadequate. This tactic serves two purposes: it boosts her ego and keeps you feeling insecure. By constantly comparing you to others, she undermines your self-worth and keeps you chasing her approval. Triangulation is a classic tactic to create jealousy, control, and emotional chaos.

4. Playing the Victim to Manipulate Sympathy

When a narcissistic woman gets called out or faces conflict, she’ll often play the victim card, making it seem as though she’s the one suffering. She may cry, act hurt, or claim that you’re mistreating her—all while ignoring her own toxic behavior. This tactic is meant to manipulate sympathy, both from you and from others. By casting herself as the victim, she makes you feel guilty and responsible, keeping you locked in the relationship out of obligation.

5. Constantly Shifting the Blame to Keep You on the Defensive

A narcissistic woman will rarely, if ever, take responsibility for her actions. Instead, she’ll constantly shift the blame back onto you, making you feel like you’re always at fault. If you bring up her hurtful behavior, she’ll deflect and point out your shortcomings, leaving you feeling guilty and questioning yourself. This tactic keeps you on the defensive, diverting attention away from her flaws and putting the burden on you. By keeping you in a constant state of self-doubt, she maintains control and avoids accountability.

~Aklahyel Goni