Invisible John or Jane Doe’s have no say in the personal character of others. Remember this next time you hear a negative “whisper” disguised as your own voice, or anything that attempts to steer you emotionally.
Morning: Today is a day to focus on the thoughts, ideas, and actions that contribute to my inner peace. I can deal with the winds of change only if I am at peace within myself. Today I banish all thoughts and actions that create disharmony. I am calm, physically and emotionally. Today, I radiate peace.
Evening: I know that I did my best today to focus on peace and calm. Tonight I rest knowing that my mind and spirit are peaceful. I can rest with a peaceful mind and face a new day tomorrow.
Decades old pain arose, surprising me, for I thought I had put it to rest. Well, I did put it to rest … without the proper processing necessary first.
I cried for a whole day. And even some on the second day.
I told myself to stop living in the past, to push it aside, to shut off the tears, to ‘woman’ up.
And then I spoke to some very dear friends, one of which asked me this:
Do you take a shower to wash your body?
I said, yes.
She said, “Tears are a cleansing for the soul. It washes it pure after trauma, or heartbreak of any kind.”
She explained to me that I should NEVER shut down my tears, that I should pay very close attention to what is being “washed away”, to feel it thoroughly and then release it.
After this talk, I vow to never put a damper on my tears, never to put the breaks on any release of past hurt or trauma.
I will allow my tears to wash my pain.
I will permit the process of healing in my person.
And I will not be ashamed.
They used to say, “Don’t get your hopes up too high, you may be disappointed.” In other words, “Don’t put too much faith in anything, it may never happen.”
So we learn to immediately question people, their motives, their ability, their integrity. And then we begin to question ourselves … why not? Everyone else does.
Things have gone rigid and no longer flow.
The word acceptance has been removed for many in this walk, other than the word itself.
We are suspicious, our trust in many cases, broken. Even the trust we say we hold in ourselves … after all … look what experiences we lined up! Whew!
We discover we have choices. For the first time it seems clear, obvious almost, and we ask ourselves why we would choose to put ourselves in certain situations … for years … just barely moving along, stagnant in most areas.
Yet still, we listen to those outside of us, telling us about our ‘faults’, reminding us that we are not perfect, and in their book, unworthy.
We think, what?!?!?
Perhaps at this point we begin to note that we’d rather listen to our own perceptions and judgement of self.
We recognize another’s voice when negative thoughts travels through our mind … the memory of it stuck there like a broken record, playing … and playing … so often we may not even be aware of it any longer, until we are and we ask ourself, how long has this been going on?
We tell ourself that a decade old memory accompanied by pain that we never dealt with will no longer have lease in our life. We begin to shed … like a snake, and it’s messy. We may detest the process thinking it disgusting, or at the very least, uncomely.
Judgement comes and we sink, and then we recognize the self sabotage. We want to kick our self but understand we can no longer do that. So we are gentle with our self. We understand the situation like no other, and we love our self through the process, through the release.
Or not … not quite yet.
Perhaps we haven’t felt the rawness of it fully enough to gain that push forward. Maybe we are so accustomed to it, life without it seems … impossible?
Whatever it is …
It’s all in our mind.
The inner manifesting into the outer.
The perfect reflection.
Don’t like what you see?
Get serious about shifting it …
In your mind.
The rest will follow.
You don’t have to punish yourself forever.
You don’t have to punish yourself at all.
What is done is done.
The new creation yet to be seen.
Sometimes your worst antagonist is your greatest ally, whether knowingly, or unknowingly by either party.
Who else but those who love us most would agree to reside in a seat that receives so much expression, outburst, argument and complete freak out? Who would just kick back and endure that … for no reason?
There must be a divine purpose to the presence of all those who trigger us. They allow us to see ourselves, rawly, in the moment.
The reaction is often denial, yet how can one deny what is blatantly in the face? Apparent for ALL to see … no sense in denying it … may as well acknowledge it and at last see it.
Yesterday for me was a deep remembrance of intense pain. I was thankful for it being a memory only, for it was quite influential on my mental status for the day … even as the memory was from nearly three decades ago.
Yet … the seemingly cold hearted will say, “what does she expect, everyone to feel sorry for that, for her chosen self crucifixion” as tears roll down her face. They may perceive the moment as a pity party of sorts.
And we might say, “You bastard!” Jerk……. I’ve concluded that no one actually has the authority to tell me what my “process” must look like. This is my experience, unique to me. Of course many will not be in agreement or acceptance of it.
Someone else always seems to know best.
But then, if we are wise, we will evaluate the triggering phrase or event and see if it really does apply to our situation.
Harsh realities often are recognized by our worst antagonist … given to us for opportunity of ‘stretching’ the conscious capacity, growing beyond the trigger.
They must love us greatly to offer us this view.
At least … this is how I choose to view it.
Heart of the Issue: Strategy: We live in a world where logic and rationality reign supreme. Athena makes her decisions most often with her head and not her heart. There is very little emotion in her cool demeanor, and she keeps her eyes firmly on the prize. This is not the most balanced way to conduct your life. While this kind of sharp, intelligent maneuvering may be acceptable on a battlefield, it may not be so suitable in friendships and other close relationships.
The Challenge: Authenticity: Sadly, as time went on and stories became Christianized, Baba Yaga became an evil witch figure who ate children and was punished by the hero for her various evil deeds. Instead of being a challenging figure, she became a rigid character of disruption and blockage, only inspiring fear. We too can become this way at times – too afraid to be flexible or not brave enough to show our true selves. While we may not be called evil hags for this, like Baba Yaga, the energy is one that creates obstacles, difficulties, and drama. It’s always a powerful thing to know ourselves and to actively be ourselves. If we recognize that, we need not generate the negative energy that comes with pretending to be someone we are not.
Examine your darker aspects. You are being shown the way forward. Your path is illuminated, and there is no need to feel lost or indecisive. Something that has been lost to you will be found.
The Solution: Illumination: Hekate is a goddess of the dark underworld and, paradoxically, is a torchbearer who brings the light to this same darkness. Illuminating the darkest pathways, this magnetic goddess invites you to travel the shadows with her, but only under her wise guidance. Hekate is often depicted standing at the crossroads with a three-headed dog (past-present-future) so she is the ideal goddess to call upon if you feel lost, you don’t know which direction to turn, or you are working to improve yourself.
Reading from the deck “Goddesses and Sirens” created by Stacey Demarco
Maintain your childlike spirit ~ Nature holds all aspects of light. This light is the same brilliant light that shines out of every child while they are still in touch with the magic of the world and nature. Find the innocence of your childhood light within you and reconnect with it. This light represents your virtue and holds the memory of perfect trust, fearlessness in others and total self-reliance. It will allow you to see the world with the eyes of a child. You will be excited to learn new things every day. How much happier our world would be if everyone reconnected to his or her purest essence!
Celebrate differences ~ You understand that everything in life comes with an opposite. Even within yourself, you have polarity – male/female, high/low, good/bad, light/dark. It is our differences that make us unique. We all come from the same collective and all have the light of the inner soul. The more we learn and grow in our thoughts and attitudes, the more understanding and compassion can develop within our lives. Take a moment to appreciate an individual for the qualities that they are sharing with you and find what learning can be gained from this situation.
Breakthrough ~ Feel confident that things are falling into place. Just as a seedling breaking through the surface of the earth, you too are going to experience an emergence. The efforts of your hard work will become evident and you will begin to see the difference of all that labor and time you have invested has made. Count your blessings! You are gifted with a creative touch and the ability to generate new and wonderful things. Take a moment to feel proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished.
Acceptance of Love ~ This image is a representation of the harmony of opposites, masculine and feminine. You have the ability to give love freely to yourself and to others. It is important to understand that you are whole, complete and perfect now and will enhance the life of another. Love can happen. Love is the truth of all situations. Love the soul embodied inside you. Express more love in your life and allow yourself to feel loved. Everything happens exactly when it is supposed to. In that order, everything that happens is what is supposed to take place. You bring a bright light and individuality into this world.
Reading from the deck “Nature’s Whispers” created by Angela Hartfield and Josephine Wall
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