Relationship

All posts in the Relationship category

Emissary from the Divine

Published February 6, 2024 by tindertender

“Those who shall not live by the law SHALL DIE BY THE LAW!

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here I am. Send me!”

— Isaiah 6:8The Bible

When a benevolent god or godlike figure chooses a lesser being to speak for them, their reasons for doing so will vary. Sometimes they’re not omniscient enough to work alone. Sometimes, they’re so alien they can’t talk well to humans. Sometimes, whatever they have to say will be more palatable or plausible coming from a fellow human. Sometimes, the emissary themselves is special in some heretofore-unknown way. Or, maybe the god just wants their calls screened.

Whatever the reason, the emissary will rarely be grateful for the honor. Fits of existential frustration and insecurity are common — after all, what need does a god have for a human? Emissaries may also fear that they’ve gone insane, or be subject to assassination attempts by jealous dogmatists. Sometimes the god is temperamental, or drags them far from home. Frequently, such stories are focused on the emissary’s cross-purpose yet friendly relationship with the divine.

Emissaries are usually Badass Normal, protected only by “coincidence” or magic on loan from their god. Incorruptible Pure Pureness is, of course, a job requirement. An emissary’s Mission from God, if they have a specific one, is always diplomatic—anything else is a last resort. They may be nominated to inform the populace that God Is Displeased, or that trope may result from an emissary being ignored. Unwanted False Faith can also be a related trope, when the emissary’s audience is unable to see the forest for the trees. Usually this trope happens to mortals, but can occasionally happen to an angel or other less mortal race.

Super-Trope for The Chosen One, since this emissary doesn’t have to be foretold or born for the mission.

Looks like this trope but isn’t: Mouth of Sauron (the spokesman for an evil deity or organization who isn’t empowered to act independently or speak their own mind), Pals with Jesus (when the god wants companionship, not an employee), Seers/Oracles (someone who can see the future, and may or may not receive that power from a deity), Symbiotic Possession ( the god wants a collaborator and won’t do full-blown possession lasting more than an emergency few minutes), and Witch Doctor (a ritualist who compels higher powers to help them, instead of the other way around).

Original post here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EmissaryFromTheDivine

Leader vs Boss

Published January 31, 2024 by tindertender

“Make me a leader” said an employee.

“What do you mean ? What don’t you have ?”

“I do not have authority over other people to tell them what to do.”

“Do I ever tell you what to do ?”

“Very rarely. We decide together and you help us to reach the right decision. Or you know the answer and explain it’s logic to us. If our logic and our answer is better you listen and use ours.”

“Exactly. It is painful for a true leader to rely on his or her authority.”

“But what do I need to do to become a leader, then ?”

Leaders are not appointed. People become leaders when they earn and get the following: Trust, Respect, Initiative: Do not wait for a perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect, Sharing: share information, knowledge, credit, Influence and Inspiration: Influence people to do the right things, inspire them to do their best, Empowerment: empowering others and stepping back. An employee is a rocket, a leader is a rocket booster.

Telling people what to do is not anywhere here. Because it is not what leaders do, that’s what bosses do. Leaders do not act from a position of authority or a title, they lead by influence, inspiration and a personal example.

In All the Right Places

Published August 22, 2023 by tindertender

Dr. Frank Mayfield was touring Tewksbury Institute when, on his way out, he accidentally collided with an elderly floor maid. To cover the awkward moment Dr. Mayfield started asking questions.

“How long have you worked here?”

“I’ve worked here almost since the place opened,”the maid replied.

“What can you tell me about the history of this place?” he asked.

“I don’t think I can tell you anything, but I could show you something.”

With that, she took his hand and led him down to the basement under the oldest section of the building. She pointed to one of what looked like small prison cells, their iron bars rusted with age, and said, “That’s the cage where they used to keep Annie Sullivan.”

“Who’s Annie?” the doctor asked.

“Annie was a young girl who was brought in here because she was incorrigible—nobody could do anything with her. She’d bite and scream and throw her food at people. The doctors and nurses couldn’t even examine her or anything. I’d see them trying with her spitting and scratching at them.

“I was only a few years younger than her myself and I used to think, ‘I sure would hate to be locked up in a cage like that.’ I wanted to help her, but I didn’t have any idea what I could do. I mean, if the doctors and nurses couldn’t help her, what could someone like me do?

“I didn’t know what else to do, so I just baked her some brownies one night after work. The next day I brought them in. I walked carefully to her cage and said, ‘Annie, I baked these brownies just for you. I’ll put them right here on the floor and you can come and get them if you want.’

“Then I got out of there just as fast as I could because I was afraid she might throw them at me. But she didn’t. She actually took the brownies and ate them. After that, she was just a little bit nicer to me when I was around. And sometimes I’d talk to her. Once, I even got her laughing.

One of the nurses noticed this and she told the doctor. They asked me if I’d help them with Annie. I said I would if I could. So that’s how it came about that. Every time they wanted to see Annie or examine her, I went into the cage first and explained and calmed her down and held her hand. This is how they discovered that Annie was almost blind.”

After they’d been working with her for about a year—and it was tough sledding with Annie—the Perkins institute for the Blind opened its doors. They were able to help her and she went on to study and she became a teacher herself.

Annie came back to the Tewksbury Institute to visit, and to see what she could do to help out. At first, the Director didn’t say anything and then he thought about a letter he’d just received. A man had written to him about his daughter. She was absolutely unruly—almost like an animal. She was blind and deaf as well as ‘deranged.’

He was at his wit’s end, but he didn’t want to put her in an asylum. So he wrote the Institute to ask if they knew of anyone who would come to his house and work with his daughter.

And that is how Annie Sullivan became the lifelong companion of Helen Keller.

When Helen Keller received the Nobel Prize, she was asked who had the greatest impact on her life and she said, “Annie Sullivan.”

But Annie said, “No, Helen. The woman who had the greatest influence on both our lives was a floor maid at the Tewksbury Institute.”

TOXIC EMOTIONAL TIES💔➰💔➰💔

Published June 11, 2023 by tindertender

Unresolved feelings with people from the past generate toxic emotional ties that keep us connected to them emotionally and energetically. These ties act as true internal “us” that do not allow our life to flow naturally and block the flow of new and better experiences.

It is necessary to carry out an emotional cleansing and check which people we are still connected to. Sorrow, resentment, guilt, attachment, disappointment, illusion are some of the feelings that create and reinforce these bonds. The person is no longer there, but continues to affect your emotions, influencing your decisions, even if unconsciously.

Do an exercise: Stay silent for a while, relax and ask your emotional: What people from the past am I still connected to? Let your mind show you.
Imagine then that there is a cord that connects these people to you. Visualize him tying you to them. Then affirm:

“At this moment I declare that I am breaking all the toxic and negative ties that bind me to people from the past (visualize that you have golden scissors in your hand and see yourself cutting all ties). I let go of all those who were once in my life, but who are meaningless today. I let go of all guilt, hurt, resentment or wrongdoing that bound me to them. I value the past and the lessons I’ve learned, but I don’t need to keep living with the past. I am breaking free of that influence and opening myself up to better people and situations.” It’s done.

~ Alexander Gruber

Artwork: Thiago Sian

Loyalty

Published June 11, 2023 by tindertender

The late king of a certain community had ten wild dogs. He used them to torture and eat any of his servants who made a mistake.

One of the servants gave an opinion that was wrong, and the king didn’t like it at all. So he ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs. The servant said, “I served you for ten years, and you do this to me? Please give me ten days before throwing me to those dogs!” The king agreed.

In those ten days, the servant went to the guard who looks after the dogs and told him he would like to serve the dogs for the next ten days.

The guard was baffled but agreed, and the servant started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, bathing them, and providing all sorts of comfort for them. When the ten days were over, the king ordered that the servant be thrown to the dogs for his punishment.

When he was thrown in, we were all amazed to see the ravenous dogs only licking the feet of the servant! The king, baffled at what he was seeing, said, “What has happened to my dogs?” The servant replied, “I served the dogs for only ten days, and they didn’t forget my service.

Yet I served you for a whole ten years and you forgot all, at my first mistake!” The king realized his mistake and ordered the servant to be set free.

This post is a message to all those who forget the good things a person does for them as soon as the person makes a mistake towards them.

~ Author Unknown

Trust Your Process

Published June 3, 2023 by tindertender

If my energy doesn’t wake you up, it’s because I’m not for you….

If my spirit doesn’t inspire you, it’s because you shouldn’t force the connection….

If my thought doesn’t make you think deeper, it doesn’t make sense to keep me in touch or on your mind….

If my passion doesn’t move you, then it’s better to change direction…

If my presence doesn’t help you evolve, my absence certainly will…

If my love does not open your heart definitively, another love will…

Go and find what makes your being vibrate,
Don’t even stop to look behind you…

One of the greatest acts of love is letting go…

The vibe doesn’t lie…

Trust your process.

~ unknown

Two-Sided Coin

Published May 26, 2023 by tindertender

Everyone knows of two sides, same coin, but I never hear folks discuss the substance of the coin holding heads and tails together, without which neither “side” could be.

Running, hiding, pretending

Published May 24, 2023 by tindertender

By Ellen Redd

A feminine who is not in her divinity, feeds on the attention of many. She is hoping that this will fulfill her, and uses her physical appearance to ensnare the affection of her suitors. Often misusing her feminine gifts. This many times leads her into temporal false sense of fulfillment until she becomes bored, annoyed and no longer can go along with the creations of her own game.

In the same time, the masculine who is not in his divinity clamors to unhealed feminines in their toxicity allowing themselves to be lured into the illusory dream of love, from the illusions of the mortal flesh. The masculines also will seek fulfillment from many partners , only to find themselves empty. These masculines that are unhealed , will use their monies and their titles to attract the unhealed feminines, not realizing that they also have set a trap for their own self to fall into.

Until both the masculine and feminine aspects both unplug their circuits from these false attempts for love, they will forever be empty – desperately seeking the outside world to fill them on the inside, where they desperately fear to reside.

Running, hiding, pretending.

Ellen Redd

We All Do It

Published May 21, 2023 by tindertender

It’s funny how most folks don’t like others telling them who they are, why they feel like they do, what their issue is, how to fix issue … yet many folks do just that to others. I do it too … sometimes format needs improvement.

Many of my posts are self-talk, personal realizations. At times, it sounds like I’m talking to others, mostly, I’m talking to self as third person.

I feel many people are doing that, even though it sounds like they’re talking to folks outside self.

“When using third person or “non-first-person” pronouns during self-talk, you do not use pronouns such as I, me, or my. Instead, you speak to yourself (either in a hushed tone or silently inside your own head) using pronouns such as you, he, she, it, or your own first or last name.”

“Essentially, we think referring to yourself in the third person leads people to think about themselves more similar to how they think about others, and you can see evidence for this in the brain. That helps people gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from their experiences, which can often be useful for regulating emotions.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201707/silent-third-person-self-talk-facilitates-emotion-regulation

Me talking advice to someone is often me speaking advice or awareness to self in third party. While it seems I’m addressing others outside self, often it is communication to the self I witness within, and the self I see in others.

Often, this self reflective third party way of recognizing and communicating seems like it is conversation with another, and it is … communication to the self we recognize in others.

Tricky …

“… the brain data from these two complimentary experiments suggest that third-person self-talk may constitute a relatively effortless form of emotion regulation.”

https://www.anxietycentre.com/research/third-person-self-talk-to-control-emotions/

Previous research has suggested that a psychological strategy called “self-distancing” can help us better control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. From enhancing our self-control in the face of temptation to helping us reflect on difficult past experiences without getting stuck in a downward spiral of negative thinking, the ability to “step back” a little from ourselves seems to be a useful, if slightly odd, psychological skill.

All in all, the studies found that talking to ourselves using our own name, or pronouns like “you” or “he/she” as opposed to “I” or “me,” resulted in reduced anxiety, better performances, and less shame, negativity, and rumination afterwards.

https://bulletproofmusician.com/gain-a-psychological-edge-by-talking-about-yourself-in-the-third-person/

While some are speaking out, making posts of advice as third person, others really are judging others as needing guidance other than their own … without even asking.

I think most people are looking into the world seeing self, brokenness, flaws, weaknesses… and are simply doing their best to put it together using words, spoken. Unfortunately, this change must happen inside before it can be seen outside …

Self distancing.

Perhaps this is why society is addicted to pointing at others and naming flaws … they cannot bear to look inside.

Projection. A form of survival. A form which is unsustainable in the long run.

I’m In Love Again … With Me

Published May 16, 2023 by tindertender

I am in love, with someone who is enough for me, who hugs me and raises my self-esteem, who recognizes my value, and who has told me that I don’t need anyone else to be happy because we have each other.

That someone taught me to forgive others and forgive myself.

I fell in love again but this time is different, because it has made me understand that I deserve the best of the best and no less. That a love with doubts and insecurities is not love.

I fell in love with someone who believes in me, no matter how many times I stumble, because he knows that after the falls I get up with more strength.

I fell in love with someone who gives me peace and security. Who is capable of giving everything for me, who loves me always and not at times.

I fell in love with someone who wraps his arms around me and understands me. That despite my dark days and the chaos that I carry inside, does not run away, but stays, and accompanies me in my moments of loneliness and peace.

I fell in love with someone whose eyes shine when they see me. His look reflects how happy he feels to have me, and he always welcomes me with a smile.

Since we discovered each other, not a second goes by when he leaves me alone, he accompanies me to my favorite places, and enjoys my company without conditioning.

Yes, I’m in love!

And although until a while ago this seemed impossible, today I love that person… He became my favorite person.

I fell in love again, but this time I fell in love with ME.

And today I know that I am the love of my life!

~ Author Unknown

Embodied within me is masculine and feminine. Yin/Yang. Light and Dark. We work it out. We are happy.