Every morning I have a blind date with my body. And as I do, a million questions run through my head.
Who is this person sitting across from me in the mirror? Am I my own soulmate? Are the dreams in my heart and my thoughts in my head perfect strangers?
How can I open my heart to this imperfect human who is staring back at me? How can I learn to love their wrinkles? How can I build a future with this person?
And every morning during my blind date with my own image I remember the secret to any great relationship … Is to let them see you as you really are.
So, how do I see myself? As a piece of cosmic art or as half-shattered bowl? Maybe it’s both things at the same time.
My love, In order to feel at home in your skin you must learn to be yourself, with yourself. And to see the beauty in yourself when you look at yourself.
All first dates are awkward, so be patient with yourself as you get to know the person in the mirror.
Don’t let them slip through your fingers because … they are the love of your life.
A friend died, and I want to be helpful to his wife, but I’m not sure what to do. I told her that if she needed anything to let me know. Of course, she thanked me, but it’s been a few days now and she hasn’t asked for anything. I don’t think she will. I feel so helpless. What should I do?
[Redacted]
Hey there, [Redacted]. Thanks for writing. I’m really glad your friend has you in her life.
I get it. Grief is a funny thing. It’s the time in our life when we most need help, and also the time when asking for help is so hard. Not because we are ashamed to ask for help, although that happens sometimes too. But mostly because our brain just sort of shuts down.
When my Dad died, I looked functional. But I wasn’t OK. Not at all. And when the news got out, the ton of people flooding me with calls, texts, and DM’s was overwhelming. I really couldn’t function. I sat on the swing in our yard and just stared into space. People called and asked what they could do to help. I had no idea.
“Well, anything you need at all, let me know, OK?”
“OK”.
They hung up. I stared into space some more.
I had no idea what to do. What I needed. I didn’t even know what to ask for.
Then a friend sent a text. This friend had met Dad once but didn’t really know him. But still, she knew I was hurting. I saw who it was and almost put the phone down without reading the text, but I saw the message and it stopped me:
Will you be home at 8:30 tonight?
What’s weird is this friend lives 12 hours away from me.
Yes, I replied.
“K.”
10 minutes later, she said, “Instacart will be there at 8:30. Open the door for them.”
“What?”
“Grief Groceries.”
When Instacart showed up, they put two large bags of groceries on my porch. Frozen pizzas. Ice cream. Oreo cookies. Tinned soup. Stouffer’s lasagna. A gallon of milk. Like that. Things I could heat up if I needed a meal, or pig out on if I needed fat and sugar. Sometimes, you just need to eat half a box of Oreos.
Notice she didn’t ask if I needed any food. I would have said no. She just asked if I would be home.
Grief groceries.
Another friend, who lives out of town, asked Renee to name a restaurant near our house where we like to eat. There is a local chain near our house that is sort of a deli. When we eat supper there, we spend about $25. Renee told her the name of the place.
An hour later, there was a gift card in my inbox for $250. Yes, that is a lot of money, and I understand not everyone can do that. But the wonderful thing was that because it was enough for multiple meals, we didn’t try to save it for “the right time”. We ate there that night, and take out from there several times a week for the next month on nights when I just didn’t have the spoons to cook.
Both of those gift-givers knew something I didn’t know – that when you are grieving, you don’t want to make decisions. No, that’s not quite it: You can’t make decisions. You hit decision fatigue really fast.
So, I guess what I’m saying is, don’t ask grieving people to make big choices or decisions. “How can I help” is a big choice. But “Can I take the kids this afternoon so you can have some time to yourself” is a much smaller one. “Will you be home tonight?” is a small choice. “What restaurant do you like” is a small decision. Just showing up to cut their grass because you noticed it needed cutting is loads better than asking, “Do you want me to cut the grass?” Or, “I’m going to Target. What can I get you while I’m there?” is better than “Can I run any errands for you?”
It won’t always be like this. If you stick around, eventually they will surface and ways to be helpful will make themselves known. But in the first few days, especially, it helps to remove as many decisions from their plate as possible.
If folks are describing depravity in detail, it’s because they’re intentionally painting a picture in your mind … this influences your frequency and vibe every time the image shared appears as memory.
It’s the goal of the programmers in this realm to degrade you. To make you fall. To steal away your connection to higher frequencies and vibrations through anger, shame, guilt. The writers of this realms script wish for humanity to fall very hard and very low into war and famine, any form of suffering … hell.
If you agree to take on that role of lower vibration and frequency, someone else, likely the writers of the script, the “handlers” of humanity, will receive blessing.
This world must remain in balance. If you can be programmed and led into tending the role of lower vibratory mind set and relations, the blessing goes elsewhere … straight into the lap of your rulers.
I understand some test us in a big way. I bitch and moan as much as the next person when someone does me wrong, but I don’t embed myself into it any more. I don’t “become” it.
I had muscular parasites bad. Every night I would get feet and calf cramping … the parasites wake when we lay down to rest and feast … this is why the muscle twitching and cramping.
A month or so ago I hit them hard with dmso cream mixed with wormwood and bloodroot. I slathered my legs and body with this every night for about a week. Granted, I toxified myself with the die off … when parasites die they emit a chemical (sort of like ants when they fight) and this chemical throws off the parasympathetic nervous system. My temperature fluctuated high and low for about three days.
Then, I began eating bitter apricot kernels, 1 per every ten pounds. I’ve been eating them for about a month now.
Last night as I lay in bed, drifting off into dreamland, I noted to self that there was no movement in my legs. No twitching, to cramping, no movement at all, with the exception of the occasional, slightest muscular flutter.
Doctors say that once these things get in the muscle there’s no cure, you have to be host for the rest of your life … that is a lie.
I’ll be eating the bitter apricot kernels for another month or so just to see how quiet my body becomes.
This is my temple. My house. Parasites are NOT allowed here. Of any kind.
“When humans eat raw or undercooked meat containing trichinella larvae, the larvae grow into adult worms in the small intestine. This takes several weeks. The adult worms produce larvae that travel through the bloodstream to different parts of the body. They then bury themselves in muscle tissue. Trichinosis is most widespread in rural areas throughout the world.”
There are many ways to get parasites, including inhalation, and vaccines. In my research I learned that the amoeba are added to injections (plainly written on the paper packet) and I’m thinking they are also in the Chemtrails, in the air we breathe.
No regular doctor has ever mentioned to their patients to do parasitic cleanses. Instead, the symptoms of them were gifted a disease name and treated … when all one need do is eliminate the cause … the unwelcome parasite collective inside the bioform.
I actually believe Alzheimer’s is a result of brain parasites, eating the brain matter.
They eat the nutrition you ingest, leaving the body with all the bad parts, which toxify the body further. People eat and eat trying to fulfill the body’s needs but the parasites always steal the nutrients.
The parasites also affect the energies of the body and alter the frequency and vibration emitted, which in turn affects the nervous system, thought patterns and behaviors.
I just ordered 300 of these capsules. There are amazingly beneficial and effective anti parasitic ingredients.
I hope their awakening is more gentle than mine was. It is why I share what I share. Even tho they may think me crazy, and say just as much to another.
Simply existing in the most gentle way possible with self and others is a rebellion. This in no way means that there isn’t difficult work to do.
Depression isn’t a disease needing treated by Pharma. It’s an emotional imbalance, needing attention and the hard inner work of harmonizing the imbalance.
They knew the truth before they even began.
You can make plans if you want just remember, life is fluid.
That’s the thing about this realm, everything appears to be false.
Anything other than presence in this now moment, is either a fantasy of the future, or a memory of the past.
It’s funny how most folks don’t like others telling them who they are, why they feel like they do, what their issue is, how to fix issue … yet many folks do just that to others. I do it too … sometimes format needs improvement.
Many of my posts are self-talk, personal realizations. At times, it sounds like I’m talking to others, mostly, I’m talking to self as third person.
I feel many people are doing that, even though it sounds like they’re talking to folks outside self.
“When using third person or “non-first-person” pronouns during self-talk, you do not use pronouns such as I, me, or my. Instead, you speak to yourself (either in a hushed tone or silently inside your own head) using pronouns such as you, he, she, it, or your own first or last name.”
“Essentially, we think referring to yourself in the third person leads people to think about themselves more similar to how they think about others, and you can see evidence for this in the brain. That helps people gain a tiny bit of psychological distance from their experiences, which can often be useful for regulating emotions.”
Me talking advice to someone is often me speaking advice or awareness to self in third party. While it seems I’m addressing others outside self, often it is communication to the self I witness within, and the self I see in others.
Often, this self reflective third party way of recognizing and communicating seems like it is conversation with another, and it is … communication to the self we recognize in others.
Tricky …
“… the brain data from these two complimentary experiments suggest that third-person self-talk may constitute a relatively effortless form of emotion regulation.”
Previous research has suggested that a psychological strategy called “self-distancing” can help us better control our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. From enhancing our self-control in the face of temptation to helping us reflect on difficult past experiences without getting stuck in a downward spiral of negative thinking, the ability to “step back” a little from ourselves seems to be a useful, if slightly odd, psychological skill.
All in all, the studies found that talking to ourselves using our own name, or pronouns like “you” or “he/she” as opposed to “I” or “me,” resulted in reduced anxiety, better performances, and less shame, negativity, and rumination afterwards.
While some are speaking out, making posts of advice as third person, others really are judging others as needing guidance other than their own … without even asking.
I think most people are looking into the world seeing self, brokenness, flaws, weaknesses… and are simply doing their best to put it together using words, spoken. Unfortunately, this change must happen inside before it can be seen outside …
Self distancing.
Perhaps this is why society is addicted to pointing at others and naming flaws … they cannot bear to look inside.
Projection. A form of survival. A form which is unsustainable in the long run.
opensenseme 