When young, I dreamed of Love, having a Family, Joyous times together.
It never came …
The dream turned into one longing of Protection, from those harvesters who continually pulled on my energy, r.a.p.ing my mind.
I finally received protection. I am grateful.
I let go of the first dream a long, long time ago, even before menopause.
I wasn’t permitted a family.
Invisible peepers, voyeurs, watching from afar, “loving” the energy, pushing in, taking it, using it to harm those I love … pretending they are powerful, Dreaming of “possessing” this sleepers gifts, commanding them and their output.
No. I’m not interested in the peeper finally showing up in a flesh suit,
After all the studying of me, my energy, and its capacity.
I have discovered I don’t much care for those watchers …
Window shopping in an energetic “candy” store.
The thought of entangling the flesh suit with a voyeur vampiric entity is SO disturbing, SO distasteful …
There is no need to “feed” this dream that never came, that never will … not in this realm.
It’s sad to me, the opinion and guidance I once needed from the masculine was never offered … only disdain, a sneering certainty I was in lack, somehow insufficient as partner or presence in their life, unworthy of effort.
Self-sufficiency born out of this lack programmed the mind and spirit to stop seeking comfort where stability, support, or care could not be found.
This is what is sad … the Love many of us sought could not be found.
We had to turn inward to find it.
Perhaps it is those of us who did, which have escaped the illusion that Love is outside, and must be found there, who are free of its longing and binding, the forever searching ended as soon as we found what is inside Self, that Holy Garden.
I’m left to wonder, where does that leave the connection, that never seemed to exist?
“When PRIDE arises out of knowledge, that is always a sign that something in one’s KNOWLEDGE is indeed terribly wrong. For when knowledge is truly present, it makes one HUMBLE in a completely natural way.”
You’re a rich girl, and you’ve gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway You can rely on the old man’s money You can rely on the old man’s money It’s a bitch girl but it’s gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway Say money, but it won’t get you too far Get you too far
And don’t you know, don’t you know That it’s wrong to take what is given you So far gone, on your own You could get along if you try to be strong But you’ll never be strong ’cause
You’re a rich girl, and you’ve gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway You can rely on the old man’s money You can rely on the old man’s money It’s a bitch girl and it’s gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway Say money, but it won’t get you too far Get you too far
High and dry, out of the rain It’s so easy to hurt others when you can’t feel pain And don’t you know that a love can’t grow ‘Cause there’s too much to give, ’cause you’d rather live For the thrill of it all, oh
You’re a rich girl, and you’ve gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway You can rely on the old man’s money You can rely on the old man’s money It’s a bitch girl and it’s gone too far ‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway Say money, but it won’t get you too far Say money, but it won’t get you too far Say money, but it won’t get you too far Get you too far
And you say You can rely on the old man’s money You can rely on the old man’s money You’re a rich girl, a rich girl Oh, you’re a rich, rich girl yeah Say money, but it won’t get you too far, oh
There’s a difference between seeing an other, admiring them, then copying them trying to imitate their existence in every way, shedding any sense of self … and … incorporating into the neural highways of one’s own mind, character and Self., those qualities which instill a greatness being birthed and expanded into an ever increasing “big bang” development of personal awareness.
You are a master at studying your environment. You take on the good qualities of those around you, and you leave the negative behind. When you’ve learned all you are able, you extract yourself. Then you implant self into another environment, and glean those new-found qualities in others, examples which can assist personal growth and expansion.
If people are unwilling to present self transparently, there’s nothing to embody, nothing of truth being presented as an offering, of a particular life. There’s nothing offered to present a growth opportunity in the environment.
So you go to another source, another meet-up, church, social function. Over and over again, you flow into situations and groupings, absorbing everything your discover that sits right with your soul … learning as much as you can, about as much as you can.
People are fascinating! There are so many unique ways of approaching life, and a never-ending example of greatness … all one needs do is pay attention, and learn.
We don’t have to take on every characteristic of those in our environment at any given time. We get to choose the building blocks from the examples we fill our environment with.