Take Care of Your Needs: Do everything you need to be at your best. Then move beyond your fears and limitations.
Enjoy Growth and Reap Rewards: Reap what you have sown and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Grow and expand in all areas of your life.
Harness Mystic Power: Align with the light and focus on all things positive.
Move Beyond Ancestral Patterns: Move beyond the limitations that have been set for you by family members past and present. Know that the energy of your spirit is more powerful than genetics and behavioral patterns.
Trust and Thrive: Come alive and thrive. Stand in your light and glory with grace and majesty.
Reading from the deck “Angels and Ancestors” oracle cards created by Kyle Gray
At the age of 18 something happened to my physical form.
I was rejected, humiliated, shamed, by many, by a so-called professional even. I became angry and rejected others in return. Years went by and the participants in shaming and rejecting me varied, yet it was a constant flow.
Eventually, after absorbing this shaming, this rejection, it seemed that these traits became my own.
I no longer needed others to reject me, to shame me … I carried these in my emotional field and applied to self, no longer needing an outside source to keep the ball rolling.
I carried anger … anger at the one who perpetrated it all. Anger toward self for putting myself in a situation like that. Blaming self and others … for years. This anger got all over everything and everyone.
After nearly 20 years of intense inner reflection and release, it just came up for me today that these things still reside in me, all surrounding the original trauma and all trauma that ensued related to it.
I discovered that my trigger is only a trigger because I still reject that part of myself … feeling dirty, untouchable, unapproachable ….
My life has been stern … often people do not approach me because it is felt, obvious that the energy of rejection was in and of me. People, fearing rejection themselves, stayed away.
I’m told to be careful of what I say. That others will take my weakness and use it against me. They may do that. Yet if I do not face this new and interestingly obvious realization, if I do not attempt to process it, absolve it, I cannot move into my true power. The energy of shame, blame, guilt, anger is so polluted it cannot sustain happiness for long … happy is eventually returned to its original state … the state of mind, the state of emotion, the state of non-acceptance it had been used to for 3.5 decades.
Habitual patterns and mindsets are difficult to see, yet once they are seen, it is ones personal responsibility to dissolve them, to process them, so love and happiness can become to new norm.
It is a choice … I would much rather be in a state of love and happiness. One can take on the whole world when in this state. See the chart below for a visual.
Love and happiness which comes up often, yet has difficulty being sustained.
A purge is necessary and needed … so off to my bath for a soak and relaxation, and an allowing of my higher self to assist me in absolving the decades old habitual pattern and replacing it with a new state of being.
Empty the old and stale, filling up with fresh and new, set with intention for the coming peace filled world I wish to help create, that I wish to belong in, that I wish to share with others.
Many of us have had unsavory childhoods and experiences beyond that.
In relationships with family or ‘friends’ we find that the emotional and/or mental wounds are constantly flicked, snipped and poked.
Triggers.
Reaction vs response.
Sometimes it is easy to simply walk away and shut the door. Sometimes we must endure … rejection, slander, anything that is an attempt to make us feel small or unsure of our worth, our value.
Defense mode kicks in when the triggers are flipped, fine if one can walk away and then settle down. But what happens when you walk away? Do you really solve the issue? Do you throw out this wonderful opportunity to expand, to align?
It is not sustainable to live in a constant state of agitation, allowing someone power over the emotional and mental well-being.
To counter, does one choose to close down emotionally? Creating blockages for the aggressor and those who wish to instill us with grace? Honoring us? Because if we close off to one, we close off to all … we cannot possibly be available 100% for anything when we construct barriers.
I’ve decided the best option is to look at the aggressor and their words, actions, behaviors and choose instead to thank them. To be in a state of gratitude for the trigger being uncovered, for the opportunity to see it clearly, to understand what caused it, and what brought me to be triggered.
No one likes to be rejected. Yet when we place too much importance on others outside ourselves rejecting us, we also reject our self … because we tense up, we fall into a state of agitation … perhaps shame, anger, contempt, anxiety.
Look at this chart which shows the energetic structure in the body when certain emotions are running rampant.
It does not show an image for gratitude, but it’s there somewhere between love and happiness, perhaps even becoming these two combined.
When someone triggers me, I look at the trigger, what is its source? For me just recently, it was rejection. I have an issue with that one for I have been rejected my whole life. It hurts … and so I usually counter rejection with an even more potent rejection. But look at that … anger, depression, shame.
I would rather expand, acknowledge why I am triggered … and choose not to fall in line with it all and actually reject myself.
I begin listing the reasons I am grateful to my aggressor. For the opportunity to see my trigger. For the opportunity to see its source, its root. For the opportunity to come into balance, working through emotional blockages. For the opportunity to understand and realize I am the only one that need accept or approve of me.
This then brings me to the idea of … what doIrespect and value about self? What things do not fall into alignment with this self-respect? How can I love the parts so many reject about me? Embracing them, learning the lessons they offer me, personally. In order to stand firm in this world we must be able to stand alone, without the need for outside approval.
In my younger years, I never knew love, only manipulation and a series of different types of abuse. When I got out on my own, I picked up where others left off, becoming my own worst abuser … which brought shame and a deep sense of rejection of self.
For the last near 20 years I’ve been training myself to become someone I can respect, even love. Breaking habitual patterns and replacing them with new, beneficial patterns. Yes, there are certain residuals from my previous life that clutch to me like a bad habit … and they will remain, so I must change my perspective, and love them, so I am better able to love the whole me.
What others think of me is their business … and they make it my opportunity when they decide to be emotionally or otherwise aggressive. For it is when I face these things that true strength and power begin to solidify in myself … in my emotional body, in my mental body.
If someone wishes to possess me, my being, my thoughts, my self, it is easy to be loud, reject, deny … yet again, the vibe falls, shitty ass feelings arise. So instead, I focus on possessing self, wholly … all mine, mine all mine, me, me, me, love, love, love … not anyone’s property or possession … mine alone, and I share it with whomI will.
Acceptance must always begin with self … the triggers will never dissipate unless we develop this.
Acceptance of self is not arrogance … which some confuse it with. Being haughty they’ll tell the whole world to F-off, without ever looking at the triggers, denying they exist. Not even aware that they have so many barriers in place no one can truly enter the ‘private’ zone.
Acceptance of self requires deep, deep hard looks at the sour issues being toted around from year to year.
Until this hard look is made, and the willingness to put pain and shame to rest is made, life will be mastered by anyone who chooses to manipulate the emotions … and it will be easy for them to do.
Looking at this triggered experience I’ve come to understand it exists because I am rejecting this portion of self. The trigger is my denial. It is I who must come to love my dirty spaces unconditionally. Until I do, I will forever be triggered by outside aggressors.
Be grateful for the aggressor, embrace the gifts of opportunity they provide, and know that soon, should you do the work, the aggressor will no longer be needed for lessons, and they can simply be walked away from.
Today is a day to focus on attention. Sometimes life seems to go past me in a blur, days running into nights, nights running into days. I can slow life down just by paying attention to it. Today I will notice and be attentive to everything around me – people, places, things, animals, the weather. I will pay attention to what people say. I will pay attention to the color of the sky, the songs of the birds. I will pay attention to my own thoughts and words and ideas and remember to send positive ones into the universe so that they may be made manifest.
Know that what is happening around you is divinely inspired. Learn from your current experiences, then share them with others.
There is a Great Teacher in your life, or within you. Either way, you have dedicated a lot of time, effort and energy to understanding yourself and the world. You are having spiritual experiences at this time and gaining a greater awareness of what you need to do in order to grow. There is a great chance that if you’ve been having any challenges recently, you’ve surmounted them and allowed them to be the vehicles to lessons that are helping your spiritual connection. If you feel that you’ve received messages from heaven or the universe recently, this is confirmation that these have indeed been holy experiences.
Enjoy Growth and Reap Rewards
Reap what you have sown and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Grow and expand in all areas of your life.
Fertility, growth and abundance are all imminent. All the seeds you have planted are coming to life and there are plenty more rewards to come. In a material sense, this could mean financial security and comfort – there will be more than enough to go around. If you are making business deals or setting intentions to create financial growth, there is indication a considerable amount of monetary success is coming. Other forms of abundance may be arriving – opportunities, marriage proposals and even the birth of a child. You are being helped to respect nature and connect with its forces in order to have a genuinely supported journey through life.
Reading from the deck “Angels and Ancestors” oracle cards created by Kyle Gray
meaning: Everybody is a person, a person, a person, a person, a person, a person, and a person.
The number 111 is a very powerful number, and signifies manifesting and manifestation of thoughts into reality.
This number is a combination of energy and attributes of the numbers 1 and the Master Number 11.
The number 1 signifies independence, motivation, uniqueness, new beginnings, leadership, progress, moving forward, inspiration and achieving success.
The number 11 signifies understanding your soul mission and purpose on this earth.
As a combination of these energies, the angel number 111 signifies spiritual awakening and enlightenment, inspiration, high energy, intuition and sensitivity.
The number 111 carries the vibration of leadership, creativity and independence, as well as optimism and tolerance of others. Its essence is also joy, inspiration, interactions with others, communication and self – sufficiency.
Number 1119 is a message that a phase, cycle or situation in your life is coming to an end, and/or your goals have almost come to fruition. Remain positive throughout these transitions and look forward to wonderful new beginnings and auspicious opportunities.
Number 911 is a highly karmic and spiritual number that encourages you to pursue yourlife purpose and soul missionas a lightworker. It tells of leadership and living life as a positive example in order to illuminate the way for others to follow. Number 911 is a vibration of spiritual enlightenment and awareness and of reaping karmic rewards for work well done.
Number 911 indicates that a new door has opened up for you as a product of your positive thoughts, intentions and actions. Make the most of this opportunity and walk forward with confidence and surety, knowing that you are fulfilling your karmic destiny.
Number 911 suggests that your goals are almost complete, and/or that you are coming to the end of a phase or cycle in your life. It is an indication that one door is closing and another is opening. The message is to allow the ‘old’ to be released so it is able to be replaced with the ‘new’.
What if our religion was each other. If our practice was our life If prayer, our words. What if the temple was the Earth If forests were our church If holy water–the rivers, lakes, and ocean. What if meditation was our relationships If the teacher was life If wisdom was self-knowledge If love was the center of our being. ~ Ganga White
Feel confident that things are falling into place. Just as a seedling breaking through the surface of the earth, you too are going to experience an emergence. The efforts of your hard work will become evident and you will begin to see the difference all that labor and time you have invested has made. Count your blessings! You are gifted with a creative touch and the ability to generate new and wonderful things. Take a moment to feel proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished.
Thee is so much more going on than you realize. When we get up in our heads and overthink things, we start to miss much of what is going on in the world around us. You might be trying to micromanage a situation and are too focused on small details. Try looking at this from different angles. If you’ve been struggling with a problem or tough situation, you will find the answers if you stand back and view everything from a larger perspective or someone else’s viewpoint.
Laughter breaks up stagnant energy, gets things moving and helps relax you. Laughter is a powerful antidote to stress, pain and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependently to bring your mind back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused and alert.
Clear your energy, the energy of those around you and the energy of your environment. Winds of change are blowing into your awareness. In order to prepare for what is ahead, begin a process of renewal. This process might include clearing away the old that no longer has a purpose in your life. It also might mean changing old habits and patterns that you are easy to release. An example might be actively avoiding overly sugary foods if you are trying to eliminate excessive sugar from your diet. View this as a time of shedding that can be achieved with ease and grace.
Reading from the deck “Natures Whispers” oracle cards created by Angela Hartfield and Josephine Wall
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