Notice your triggers when they are acting up.
Stop being trigger happy.
And just love people for who they are, where they are right now.
Is that so hard?
It’s Simple
Published May 8, 2020 by tindertenderResponsibility
All posts tagged Responsibility
How to ‘Purposefully’ Add Good Energy to the World During Separation
Published May 8, 2020 by tindertenderDuring these times of Covid-19 and the fear it represents in the hearts and minds of people, we are separated, even more than we were before.
How do we put our good energy into the world?
Some of us have been home for awhile now due to layoffs. What do we do with our time?
I started sewing … masks. I rearranged my bedroom. I cleaned house, or at least ‘picked it up’. I changed my living room window treatment. I started going for joy rides and hikes in various parks that were/are open. I started praying again, in the forest.
All that is good.
I entered deep spaces in my mind that I thought I had already visited, but these spaces held additional blockages that needed attention, healing and clearing. Inner work is very good to do in these times.
How do we share the love we are working on increasing in our own hearts and minds?
We can:
1) Send note cards via USPS. It is amazing how rare it is that one receives a card these days. It is a nice surprise when you’re stuck at home with no visitors.
2) Smile and wave at those you encounter, whether you be passing another vehicle on the road, or in the grocery store … smile, show kindness.
3) Paint rocks with inspirational messages or pictures and leave them in various areas for people to find. The atm, the park, any stairs you may climb, and entrances or exits to buildings or flower pots. Anywhere people might find themselves stopping for a moment.
4) Have flowers delivered to a friend or family member … just because.
5) Share a meal with someone in need. Getting take-out? Purchase an extra meal and give it to the next person you see, who is hungry.
These are only five suggestions, but there could be many more. I welcome your thoughts and ideas to increase methods of growing happiness and care in this world, please add them in the comments section.
🙏🏻❤️
Deep Down Nitty Gritty
Published May 7, 2020 by tindertenderI’ve been thinking lately about life and relationship.
When I was young, one of my favorite things was to watch people …. or “people watch”. I stopped doing that in my mid-twenties, when I began a certain relationship.
Now, thirty years later, I am beginning to think I’ve turned into a jaded old lady! Who, in current scenarios, has not really given men a fair shake.
I vow to take on some activities, where I can observe men, being men. I want to fall in love with them all over again.
As I shed my pain from past failed relationship, I open myself to loving once more, those who I have unfairly dropped blame.
This is only a beginning. It is not a request for attention or relationship. It is an acknowledgement, that I have been harboring resentment that may have poisoned further opportunities for love.
The journey begins … of further release.
Pain, anger, resentment ….. these have no value, for that which holds value.
May the release be swift.
May my appreciation for the masculine be rebirthed with vigor, in a sacred way.
May admiration, for all of them in their various forms and activity, grow in my heart.
May all things emanating from my person, be pure, healthy and loving.
And so it is. 🙏🏻
A Big TRUTH Day
Published May 7, 2020 by tindertender
Do not be deceived. Be watchful and mindful of the illusions others weave around themselves, and that you may weave around yourself. Know the night. Understand the shadows. See though the darkness to the light of the truth. Pay attention to contradictions. Notice when action and words are not in harmony. Hone your intuition and insight so that you may know the minds and hearts of those around you – and yourself – and trust in the wisdom born of that awareness.
We are often sent small signs in the form of synchronicities and coincidences. Be watchful. Do not overlook them in the everyday rush of life. Words, numbers, and symbols that repeat, animals and birds that appear on your path, people who come in and out of your life at odd or similar moments, and those flashes of knowing when you believe something will happen with every fiber of your being – these are all things you are meant to see and hear; messages from Gaia and Great Spirit sent to aid your journey.
When you were born, your soul shone bright. As you grew, you were taught of right and wrong. You were taught how to think, how to live, how to believe in a way that makes you fearful to say no. To disagree is to risk alienation from family and society, and so you hide your true thoughts and feelings behind a mask. That mask hides your light. Cast it aside. Embrace and live your truth, and let your soul shine once more.
Pain Transmutation
Published May 6, 2020 by tindertenderMy longest known friend of 30 years and I have history … a lot of history.
Yesterday, I unleashed on him. Something he wanted to talk about, kept putting it in my face, triggered a memory of pain from our past, and I lit into him. And I left, pissed.
Later, I called and came back by for a conversation.
You see, it is not his fault I carry pain. Sure, he participated in circumstances, but it is I who have yet to heal my trauma, learning how to love me, more completely.
I realized, that while I speak frequently about the “blame game” and how it does no one any good, I actually hopped on board the blame train yesterday, and I felt as tho I failed myself, and my friend.
The time to have these conversations was at least 20 years ago.
It is not my intention to cause suffering for a man who is in his final years. As I mentioned, the time for these conversations was a long time ago, and I chose not to have them then. The time for talking of the past is gone.
The time for healing trauma from the past is now. Without pointing fingers and taking the easy way out, by offloading pain into another being …. human or animal.
Too many people choose to put their pain onto another life form, regardless of their lack of participation in the original offense.
We must learn to transmute our pain, NOT spew it into the world, exacerbating and intensifying the pain already in the world. No, transmutation is the only way.
How to do this?
I cannot say for certain.
Yesterday I drove into the forest. I veered onto a road which turned off the main highway and I followed it for awhile. There were no vehicles or people there.
I pulled over to the side of the road and got my folding chair out of the car and had a seat. I began to pray.
Now, I’m not a regular praying type of gal. When young, my Prayer was done in song, and talk, into the seemingly empty forest. This is where I found myself once again. And so I began speaking.
I spoke of my feelings and how I am aware that blaming others for our pain is unacceptable. I asked earnestly to be shown how to transmute my pain so I did not leak it into the world. I prayed for a better understanding, so I could stop making assumptions based on a skewed perspective.
I asked for release, so I could offer it to my friend.
I choose to remain in love. And it isn’t always easy.
Looking for ways, asking for spiritual assistance, to shift perspective, clean up past emotional trauma, and move forward in a clean state of being, a state which only increases love with each encounter, rather than leaving behind anything that might cause doubt, anxiety, or any form of negative thought patterns in those I encounter.
https://medium.com/@paintopower7/transmuting-pain-into-power-f823087d1fe. According to Nicola, here are a few steps toward inner alchemy.
1) Face it Feel it. The first step of transmuting pain into power is to allow yourself to feel your emotions.
2) Pick up your jewels. The second step of transmuting the pain into power is recognizing that no experience should be left on the ground.
3) Don’t sit on it, share it. The final step in transmuting pain into power in my humble opinion is to share the lesson of it.
https://intuitiveartists.org/blog-posts/category/the-art-of-transmuting-pain. According to Jan, Emotional and even physical pain is the way our bodies (and hearts) tell us, “Pay attention to me. See me and understand me. Witness me and get curious about why I showed up here, and then I can be on my way.” It’s really only when we keep denying it or believing we’re truly oppressed by the pain that it shows up over and over again to teach us differently.
https://www.paintransmutation.com/. This site offers courses in transmutation. Healing from pain, trauma, sadness and energetic imbalance is a conscious choice. You have to decide that you deserve to live and feel free from pain and follow that decision through.
Will you transmute pain, sorrow, fear, loneliness and trauma with Soul Alchemy and love?
Will you break the karmic cycle with your awareness?
Will you accept your sacred path, and become what you are and always have been?
A fierce vessel of healing!
Pain can be our gift, or it can be our ruin.
Change Is Inevitable
Published May 5, 2020 by tindertenderEnvisioning the path of the highest good with an optimistic outlook, the gift of a miracle will be yours. Things come together as if by magic. You have every reason to be hopeful. Move forward, knowing that you have everything you need and more. Just remember to share the enthusiasm, believe in others, and be optimistic for them too, and your good fortune will multiply.
See the higher purpose to events. Not everything is meant to come to pass according to your specifications. If you can’t see the forest through the trees, stand back for a while. Perhaps it’s time to speak to someone who has objectivity and an ability to see the bigger picture where you don’t. Remember, even when things don’t go the way you expect, there’s always a reason for the detour.
Shine your light and do not give in to fear. Are you hiding yourself for fear of rejection? Are you as afraid of success as you are of failure? The light of the Divine shining within you is the power that expresses through you. This, not your ego, is the authentic place of self-expression.
Look at how you are affected by ‘glitter’, ‘glamour’, and the superficial dreams of society. Are you mesmerized by false power? The material world is fleeting; nothing lasts forever. Make your intentions come from deep within you, and don’t base them just on money or power or what you think love will do for you. Ask instead what you can offer, what you can give.
True wealth resides within peace, harmony, and a sense of purpose. Remember that Light isn’t garish and cold, nor is it manufactured – it’s warm and brilliant and natural. Give up the attachment to the outer goal, and if it’s meant to be yours, it will surely come.
Resilient Progression
Published May 3, 2020 by tindertenderBe yourself. Your power is who you really are. Resist the urge to creat a false identity. You will overcome adversity by developing your own strengths. We are so much more than we think we are. We may be frightened or going through a difficult time, but if we reach down to the place where our best self is, we will be able to triumph over adversity.
Pleasure should be made a priority – actively seek it. Do not forget what makes you happy. Become more aware of the obstacles to your own pleasure. If we don’t allow ourselves to experience pleasure, whether it take the form of laughter, play, sensuality, or practicing our talents, we are less than whole. We need to recognize that, over time, we are much less effective in our emotional and public lives if we do not experience regular doses of pleasure. If we focus too much on serious issues and take ourselves too seriously, then our lives are not complete.
It is wonderful to be alone and to be able to do as one pleases. Independence is a gift. It is time to create your own life. Run your own race. The time has come for focus. Sometimes maintaining a fierce independence can mean we exclude people and opportunities. If we hold ourselves apart from others, we may not be as empathic as we could be. We also may forget that to have true balance, we need to maintain both the masculine and the feminine energies within us. Should we distance ourselves too much from one or the other, we may not forgive transgressions from the opposite sex easily. It’s important that we stay true to who we are without being too separate from others.
It is time to release an old belief or bad habit. Imbalances of all kinds will fall away. Your pain will soon ease. Think carefully about what it is you wish to unburden and release. Remember not to throw out the good with the bad.
You will be victorious. Teamwork or a partnership may be better than going it alone. Synergy is important right now. Delegation is useful. While healthy anger can fuel wise action, rage rarely does. There is a big difference between expressing healthy anger and expressing the uncontrolled negative energy of rage; it is worth knowing your triggers.
You are enough. Build your self-esteem from the inside out. It’s your turn to shine. Be the sunshine in your own life! We have to understand how truly important we are – to those around us and to the world at large. Without building true self-esteem from the inside out, creating a true love of ourself, we are limited in what we do.
The effects of low self-esteem can permeate our lives easily! When we don’t love ourselves or when we only rely on others for our love, it is difficult to stay balanced, keep our boundaries, have a healthy body image, be successful, and simply enjoy life to its fullest. We see the effects particularly when we shy away from taking positive risks and growing. Having positive self-esteem means we shine, and that is evident for all to see.
Strength …
Healthy fierceness is required. Strengthen your physical body. Walk forward in pride and know that you can fight any battle. You need to strike a balance between masculine and feminine. Healthy fierceness is a positive trait in situations that require it. Setting boundaries is necessary for our success.
Self-love …
Romantic love comes into focus. Build your love of self from the inside out. You only fear because you lack self-love and acceptance. Jealousy is unnecessary. We are born perfectly lovable and ready to accept our own beautiful selves. Developing love from the inside out, rather than outside in, is encouraged. This way, we do not rely on anyone to give us our sense of self-worth or self-esteem – we know we are worth it. Without a healthy love of self, we reduce our personal power, often falling into petty jealousies, judging our bodies, and numbing our minds.
Equality …
An equal partnership is a positive goal. Your personal power may be challenged. Recognize the need for a balance of power in your body and in your relationships.
Do not give up; there is hope yet. A long-held wish may will be granted, when all else has failed.
Clarity Before My Eyes
Published May 1, 2020 by tindertenderI had some running around to do today and I found myself at Fred Meyer after a time to purchase a few things.
As I entered the checkout line, I came behind another who was male. The groceries he was purchasing looked odd for a man. Fresh vegetables galore! I thought, he must be vegetarian.
I mentioned that I liked his grocery list, that is was rare to see a man with these items being bought. He said his wife gave him the list.
The teller said shopping and cleaning was women’s work. The fellow in front of me stated that women do not receive a salary for raising children, and he wanted to step up where he could. And that he cleaned frequently at home to help out.
I said, “I’m going to love you, right now. Tell your wife.” And he proceeded to look a tad uncomfortable as he rolled away with his cart full of the good stuff.
The teller continued to tell me how cleaning was women’s work. He said he’d build a fence or whatever, but that was women’s work. That he did not like it. I told him, “None of us like it, we do it because it needs to be done.” (Except, I really do not like housework, and I have fur everywhere from my doggies, so, my place is never pristine).
Anyhow, I found it quite interesting seeing these two males, in stark contrast to each other. One, willing, and putting in the effort to help his woman. The other, blatantly stating he is not a partner, but an expector, a chaos maker, rather than a soother.
I drove away in amazement. I wondered if there would ever be a male that would want to partner with me in such a way. Unfortunately, my experiences have not included the sacred male, just his self-centered counterpart of the masculine.
I wonder, am I a bad person? (Am I that which I see and have experienced?) How is it that I never encountered a true partner, but instead those who were out seeking their own gratification, not ever considering my heart, or my love. Instead, tossing it (me) to the curb when they were ‘finished’ with me.
I’m told I have an attitude problem. My thought is it was developed by man. He forced it into life by not being a sufficient partner, able or willing to handle the fire this one woman embodies.
My hope is that selfishness will leave the building once and for all. For ALL.
Amen, and all that Jazz.
Who Is The Savior?
Published May 1, 2020 by tindertender
It is amazing to me how people think they have permission to be cruel, and still go to heaven, while believing those they have judged will not.
This does NOT mean I do not believe in God. I certainly do. And I’m afraid I’m not measuring up. And if I’m not measuring up, that means those who judge me are probably not either.
Let us clean up our own houses, our own inner temple. Stop looking outside and blaming the world for your situation. We cannot do that. We must create a beautiful situation from our own inner fortitude.
Do you think a person, who relies on another to solve their problems, will ever solve a single problem themselves?
No. It’s a partnership. And a partnership that is only half functioning is not a sufficient partnership.
Karma. It’s a real thing.
Self-righteousness is also.
Be aware of where you are in your own thinking and action.
Creator Alert!
Published April 30, 2020 by tindertenderThere are many in this country, indeed this world, who say Peace is not possible, that with millions, and billions of different personalities it simply cannot exist.
I argue that when millions and billions of people the world over sit with this thought form, focused so intensely, believing it to be true, it IS. This is a powerful thought form, an egregore created by a massive amount of people … which is exactly why Peace has not occurred.
People want to strike! Argue their point! Be right!
Seems the days of cooperation and compromise are over.
If folks would instead focus intensely on the future they desire to see, pouring their energies and actions in forward momentum toward that ‘future’, things would shift dramatically.
Let us begin by seeing the beauty in the moment.
Let us expand on that.
With Love.
