Cure not to repeat the same mistakes. Heal so as not to kill alien worlds. Healing so as not to dirty other hearts. Heal so as not to harm. Cure not to give half love. Cure not to be conformist. Heal to realize that flowers grow in gardens, not in the desert. Heal so as not to self-destruct. Heal to clean my bowels.
And even though my throat has thousands of knots.
And even though it was almost impossible for me to break old habits, I wanted to heal, because that’s what the brave do.
Forgive. Love. Release. Heal.
There is still a long way to go, the universe knows that I still have a long way to go, but day by day I am removing from my skin what made me suffer.
“I’m doing this, I’m doing this…” I keep healing the most important person in my life, I keep healing FOR ME…
Here we are, between worlds. Stagnant are we, waiting to see what direction this river will take.
Will it flow?
Will it get jammed, as in a winter rage?
Will it dry up?
Will it create a new path?
I need not know. I need not know the players. I need not know my role. I need not know who’s right or who’s wrong, or how it ends.
I need not know what I deserve, or the fate of any other.
I release the dream and I step forth into a new reality, whatever that may be.
May the collection of life’s challenges be remembered as I pull from the strength gained thru them, resilient, persistent, determined … determined to live as happy as I am able despite those who would snuff the promise of reward.
I release the dream, while it still lives.
If it’s meant for me it will be.
After all, everything experienced, everything, can be used to shoot the arrow forward, or break the bow.
There is a difference between being entertained, and worshipping the entertainer.
I’m not religious. I was raised in an abundant forested area. My guardians never spoke of God, or anything holy. We did not have tv, we did not have money for concerts or movies. I fell in love with the life which surrounded me … the waters, the trees and bushes of the forest, the animals which lived there from the creepy crawlies to the elk, cougar, bear and birds, the songsters and the birds of prey.
Today during quiet time it became very clear to me, I saw it plain.
Idol worship is forbidden in the Bible, yet people do it all the time. In rock stars and such, movie stars, sports teams and players, even one’s favorite newscaster. Those whose only purpose is to entertain the people, for a moment, but the entertainment turns into worship and idolization of the entertainer.
It’s happening every day on such a wide scale. What happens to idol worshippers in the Bible?
Physical and Spiritual death.
It is said Satan has the right to test people, to lure them away from their Divinity and heavenly home. So many have succumbed, even I. When I became aware, rather shatteringly to the reality, I was spiritually accosted and feasted upon. Twenty years I suffered greatly.
Thanks be to my Heavenly Father for statute of limitations. Thank you for teaching me to persevere through challenges put upon me. Thank you for opportunity to speak into the collective via this platform.
She with the courageous heart and the wild soul. She who says, “This is me. This is who I am.”
She wasn’t always this way.
For many years she was hidden away. Revealing herself fully only in the words of her journal and in her closest friendships. Showing up in her truth only when she felt safe enough to be vulnerable.
But now she’s changed. From her appearance to her writing, she’s a whole different woman.
SHE’S THE WOMAN WHO WAS WAITING INSIDE OF HER ALL ALONG.
It was not easy for her, this transformation. She didn’t just step into this embodied self the way you would gracefully step up a staircase.
She had to go deep inside of herself to find this version of herself.
She dug and descended. Explored and excavated. Re-membered, re-defined and re-birthed.
And now here she stands: Battle weary. Flawed. Tender.
She’s cried countless tears and faced many shadows. But it doesn’t take much to see there’s something different about her.
What is it? Can you feel it?
Yes that’s it…
IT’S NOT SO MUCH HOW SHE LOOKS. IT’S WHAT SHE’S EMANATING.
She’s grounded in her Wisdom. Firm in her Strength. And rooted in her Truth.
She may look like she’s been to hell and back, and in many ways she has, but the raging fire only devoured everything about her that was no longer true.
And what was left behind after all the layers of untruths were burned to the ground was her true essence.
She’s rising out of the ashes now, this Phoenix woman. She’s orienting her life to who she has become.
It’s all brand new to her and she’s far from having it all figured out. But little by little, she’s finding out exactly what it means to be a Sovereign Woman.”
A man and his wife traveled to the zoo. They found a monkey that played passionately with his female. His wife told him: “what a romance.”
Then they found a lion and his lioness separated from each other; the lion was silent and alone in his corner as if the lioness did not exist. His wife told him: “what a sad scene without love.”
Her husband then told her: “throw that stone at the lioness and watch.” When she threw it down, the lion leaped roaring to defend his lioness. They saw the monkeys again and she did the same by throwing a stone; the monkey then jumped and abandoned his female to save his hide.
Her husband tells her later: “do not be fooled by what you see as romanticism in some, many times it is a deceptive appearance that hides an empty heart; there are others on the contrary who do not show anything, but their hearts are full of sincere love”.
Unfortunately today we have so many monkeys and so few lions.
Let go of the people who are not ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. ⠀ Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who are not interested in your presence. I know your goal is to do everything to gain the admiration of those around you, but that is an impulse that only steals your time, your energy, your mental and physical health. ⠀ When you start looking for a life with more joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in that place. This does not mean that you need to change who you are, it just means that you have to let go of the people who are not ready to accompany you on that path. ⠀ If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you devote your time to, it is not healthy to continue offering your energy and your life to those people. ⠀ The truth is, you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you. And that’s what makes the moment so special when you finally meet people with whom you have matching friendship and love. You will know how precious this is because before you experienced what it is not. ⠀ The more time you spend trying to be loved by someone who is unable to love you back, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of having that true connection with someone else. ⠀ There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will match the same level of interest and commitment as you. ⠀ The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow or as a background option, the longer you distance yourself from the true love you desire. ⠀ Maybe if you stop showing up, you won’t be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship ends. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will go without ringing for weeks. It doesn’t mean that you ruined your relationship, it just means that the only thing holding that relationship together was the energy that only you gave to keep it. ⠀ Its not love, its attachment. This is wanting to give a chance to those who don’t deserve it! You deserve so much more. There are people who are not meant to be in your life, and you’ll realize that with time. ⠀ The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and your energy, as both are limited. What you put your time and energy into will define your life. ⠀ When you finally realize this you then start to understand why you get so anxious or tired when you spend time with people in places and situations doing things that don’t suit you. You are literally energy “stolen” ⠀ You will also start to learn from this that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to take more care of your energy. ⠀ Make your life a safe haven, in which only people ′’compatible” with you will be allowed to enter. ⠀ Remember, you are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for persuading them to improve or change their way of being. It’s not your job to do everything for people or give your life for them. Your only obligation is to realize that you are the master of your destiny and that it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. ⠀ Starting today, decide that you deserve to receive true friendships, true commitment and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how everything will start to change in your life. You will then go on to meet more positive and good energy people in your path. ⠀ Don’t waste your time with people who are not worth it, change will bring you the love, joy, confidence and happiness you deserve and so desire.
A Tibetan story tells that one day an old wise man asked his followers the following: – Why do people yell at each other when they are angry?
The men thought for a few moments:
-Because we lose our cool – said one – that’s why we scream.- -But why yell when the other person is next to you? – Asked the wise man – Is it not possible to speak to him in a low voice? Why do you yell at a person when you’re angry?
The men gave some other answers but none of them satisfied the sage.
Finally he explained: -When two people are angry, their hearts go far apart. To cover that distance they must yell to hear each other, the angrier they are, the louder they will have to yell to hear each other over that great distance.
Then the sage continued: – What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t yell at each other but talk to each other softly because their hearts are very close, the distance between them is very small.
The wise man smiled and said: When they fall even more in love, what happens? They don’t speak, they just whisper and become even closer in their love. Finally they don’t even need to whisper, they just look at each other and that’s it.
This is how close two people are when they love each other…
Then he said: -When you argue, don’t let your hearts drift away, don’t say words that distance you further, there may come a day when the distance is so great that you can no longer find your way back…
Let us rid ourselves of all who desire to pull us down into the lower fields of consciousness.
Let us stand firm against those who would strip us of this rising and expansion, eliminating attempts to sabotage our advancement.
If there is anything worth protecting, it’s this rising to enlightenment.
Having been involved in a severe spiritual battle the last 20 years, I understand the necessity for shadow work. I was forced to see myself. And because I wanted to live, I worked through all the shadows they tried to use against me. Major shadow work. And it wasn’t all on my behalf.
I’ve been down, dragging face on pavement down. Crawling out of the fiery pit down.
