Story

All posts tagged Story

Remembering, or Hoarding?

Published January 19, 2020 by tindertender

It is said that minimalistic and tidy living spaces are better, or more appealing. I have a friend who is quite tidy and basically unchanging.

I stand in my living room and look around me. These ‘things’ I see are not just things, or clutter.

They are living memories.

I look at each one and remember the story behind it. What I was doing, what the weather was like, who I was with, what was said. At any given moment I can look upon any one of these items and instantly be transported into the past.

I ask myself, presently, what were my motives at these times? What was ‘driving’ me?

Want

Need

Curiosity

A need to waste time …

Or maybe these particular items are what speak to my soul.

What is this story saying?

What values are emerging for anyone to see?

And why do I let no one in to see it?

I think about the estate sales I’ve been to in my life. I imagine the owners watching as people rummage through their treasures, thinking of it all as stuff … perhaps needed stuff, wanted stuff, but stuff just the same.

I wonder why I have collected so much stuff that someone else will most likely have to sift through, or get rid of somehow. I wonder if this is irresponsible, or selfish.

Or maybe I’m subconsciously preparing for a time when scarcity will be a real thing and I’ll want to have things to share.

Or maybe that is an even deeper subconscious excuse to hang onto it all, collecting still.

After all, these are gifts I have given myself. These are the most gifts I have ever received. I love loving me. I learned late in life I’m the only one who can actually love me more than anyone else, and so I practice … and hopefully good over-flows into the spaces I energetically and physically travel to.

I love having memories surrounding me at all times I guess. Yet still, I wonder if sitting inside a man-made bubble of memories isn’t somehow inhibiting future creations of newness.

Real, or Illusion.

Published January 3, 2020 by tindertender

Perhaps the reversal of our words in the anther is the same for you as it is for me. However, you have been aware of it, so you say the opposite of what you mean in order to get your true message across.

Nature has it that when we hear a negative, which is what I hear when going deep, we get defensive, obstinate even.

Yet maybe it is actually the surface message that you mean.

Maybe my reaction is actually born out of decades of emotional response training …. lifetime habit.

It could be that you are not the villain I have imagined you to be.

It’s probable that both friend and foe speak in the anthers at the same time, both residing at polar opposites, further confusing the message.

It IS time to open the imagination, freeing it from preconditioned thought forms, attached to emotional residue of the past.

Yet then again, this could all simply be an illusion …

Precious Woman

Published January 2, 2020 by tindertender

Written by Maria Palumbo, https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves, https://mariapalumbo.com/

The women who struggle in relationships the most, the ones who have a hard time finding someone they can trust, are truly some of the most:

Brilliant

Creative

Loving souls.

Perfectly sensitive. Unendingly kind.

But they do not always see this.

They tell me they are broken. That no one will ever love them. Yet to know these women is to love them. They are easy to adore despite years of programming and dating advice telling them to be stronger:

“Just love yourself.”

“Don’t be clingy.”

“Don’t be needy.”

“Be mysterious.”

“Just be more: alluring, submissive, feminine, sweet, gentle, interesting.”

“You can make him into the man you want if you try harder.”

“Don’t whine.”

“Don’t be a pushover.”

And when I hear this, when she begins to tell me these stories that were pushed on her, I want to hold her face. Her hands. Her heart.

And ask her:

How can you be anything but precious?

Can you see these wounds as beautiful because they are yours?

I am offering not a ten step program of how to get a lover. But a loving witnessing. Holding a mirror to your heart so you can see more and adore what you see. Understand. Awaken. Nothing to change here. Only more tenderness.

And when it hurts. When the stories get louder, respond with more tenderness.

https://mailchi.mp/ad1196350cb9/whyyoudothatthingyoudo

Selling Stories

Published December 25, 2019 by tindertender

When I was a child, my uncle went away to fight in the Vietnam war. He sent to my cousin and I, three small ‘gold’ bracelets … we were very young at that time.

Recently, I discovered they were not gold at all, but a gold ‘colored’ tin.

I am thinking on this, this early morning, and I wonder how many times we are sold on a story that has no basis in the truth.

He may have been told they were gold. He may have believed he was sending us a precious metal gift. (The gift was precious, despite the fact it was not what we were told).

How many other stories are sold to us as truth? My story about these little gold bracelets is quite minor, and I am certain there are plenty more of these falsehoods being ‘sold’ to the public which are quite a bit up the ladder of falsehoods, shared by those who dwell in the upper rungs of this ladder.

Nothing is as it seems.

Being harassed is one thing, being lied to, or having the truth purposefully omitted is another.

Pay attention. Investigate. Listen to the questions. You might just realized those who claim to know, really do not, for if they knew they would never have to ask.

Ironic …

How sometimes certain actions are steered through purposeful misleading by those who lack honor.

Full Moon 12-12-19

Published December 13, 2019 by tindertender

What does one do on the last full moon of the year? I decided to go to The Grotto.

I was a little confused as to why they had the children dressed in black for singing their Christmas music. Strange “color” for the festivities.

I sat in the church and wondered about the murals. I had to call a friend and ask who the lady was that Jesus and God we’re crowning. He was shocked I did not know, especially concerning my “age”. He said it was the Blessed Virgin Mother Mary, being crowned by Joseph an Jesus. Still doesn’t make much sense to me, but it is beautiful just the same.

There were many murals and statues. These are only a few.

I walked along enjoying the scenery. There were so many lights. I imagine the bill for this display over the month will be outrageous!

I’ve been so oblivious to religion and the whole history of it I wonder if this is why my life has felt like a living hell for much of my experience (and I’m aware that it can alwys be worse, so am grateful for the joys and friendships I’ve been blessed with).

What I do know is the basics, and that the higher ups are pedophiles … and I am confused by them, for how can they be godly and do such things?

I dreamed last night of the drug pushers of my youth. I dreamed they said my car was dangerous to drive, so they took it away. I was ‘stuck’ there. But when I couldn’t get what I wanted, I grabbed my rolling tool chest and hitched a ride back home. My tool chest wouldn’t fit in the car, so I pushed it over onto its side, flipped all of them drug pushers the bird, and hopped in the rear seat of the car for my ride, elsewhere.

It feels as though I’m having a non-religious/religious crisis, and it’s no wonder twilight zone is so near.

Even after 17 years sober.

God help me … God help We.

Cleaning It Up, In Fantasy Land

Published December 11, 2019 by tindertender

Have you ever toyed with the idea of what ought to be done for the minds and hearts of man in order to bring blessing to this world?

I have. And it always seems that somewhere along the line there is a ‘thing’ that over-steps free will, even if the best of intentions are meant.

I took my bath and came out to the living room. The lighting is dim. I decide to see what comes out, written onto paper I can barely see.

“The bell tolled six. (Gotta start somewhere). An alarm went off in her head.

The Great One has arrived.

He looks upon the earth and sees the destruction, near bankrupt is the planet. He taps in to the inner minds of those who dwell here.

He hears madness. Anger, thoughts of harming self, others and the animals … whoa, the animals … Pain and blame …

As communication attempts are made, the anger multiplies, as does all else …after all … the Human is a walking antennae. When activated all channels amplify.

What dwells within the heart is known.

This appears to be an enormous mess.

Lo and behold, through the plethora of crap, a light shines, two lights, three, and more as minds and hearts begin to align, the globe over.

Soon, the ‘stories’ can be heard for what they are, chaos calming ever so slightly.

Prolonged pain … perpetuated generation after generation. People had forgotten who they are. Only a sliver of a glimmer of recognition shows up for them, occasionally.

As they find each other, He sees their glow grow. Empathy builds between people, between cultures, between countries.

He adds to their humanness. An inner trigger which reminds them when they are about to cause harm, to self, or others.

This trigger is invisible for it is called Compassion and it resides in every heart. The blackness which had been covering it has been lifted, the heart sanitized from its filth.

The beating of this newness within the human body is strong. The heart energy of it glows and connects straight and true to the Great One, and each other … a ‘true’ World Wide Web.

He blesses us with a new heart and an opportunity to clean up the damages we’ve done while ‘sleeping’, disconnected from Care.

He provides us with a way to purify and cleanse the earths polluted waters and soil.

This creation He sees has potential.

He sets to work building a black cube where He sends the darkest of energies from within the hearts of people. These energetic tendrils, the twining snakelike substance are sealed inside this cube for a time, while they too, undergo a purification, a cleansing, renewing their original light bearing ability.

Forgiveness is given, and also well received. The light now allows them to see each other’s hearts, their truest compassion for each other and all sentient beings.”

Fantasy building scenarios which are pleasing to the mind and the idea of growing capacities for love and connection in its purest form is a great way to spend the evening.

And now, I light candles and practice breathing.

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