All posts tagged Story

Elder’s Meditation 10-14-19 (1)

Published October 14, 2019 by tindertender

“So unbelievable things like that happen. But you have to believe it first. Not wait until you see it first, then touch it, then believe it… You have to say it from the heart.”

— Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

The power of our belief system is incredible. The power of faith is a very natural power. How do we have faith? Inside of our minds we form a mental picture with our self talk. Self talk is recorded in our minds in three dimensions – words that trigger a picture, which has a feeling or an emotion attached to it. Once we get the words and the picture, it is the emotion that makes the idea turn into a belief. You get the right emotion by saying things from the heart. The heart is the source of emotions which can cause unbelievable things to happen.

Great Spirit, with You everything is possible.

Make sure the story spinning in your head is the story written by YOU and CREATOR … no one else.

Flipping Switches

Published December 1, 2017 by tindertender

Molded into the confines of outlines, growth is stunted. Freedom’s delicate, yet powerful, force contained. Running hard to the end of tether relief is found, release is sought. Pacing.

The living, over yonder, still there? Movement is absent, silence, thoughts run rampant, possible realities dreamed.

Light switchHollow embraced as each melds into the next. The road, no one on it, empty, once overgrown laid bare now.

A loop holding attachments, what if it should break? Single hole becoming vast space, loose, all falling away. Weight of burden disappearing without trace, in a flash, in an instant.

Flipping switches, on and off, become a low flame in the night, giving warmth. The buzz is silenced, all becoming calm.

Smooth waters, silt on bottom, they churn and collect oxygen, bringing life to the living.

Ragged edges, glorified, now the norm. They are chosen over whole, over complete and strong.

Falling, slowly without awareness. Smiling as though it were a pleasure, lost.

The Non-Conformist

Published November 29, 2017 by tindertender

Breaking OutShifting color turns to amber, dense form. Ebony looks like licorice, I dare not bite … open end, raw connection. Tickle at end of nose, as if there were a hair there … but no … scent gone now.

Delicate movements, no spill, replenished supply. Formula for pleasure, lasts for a time, out of sight out of mind.

Where did the heat come from? I did not sense it at first. Black spots on white, stubborn, settled in, comfortable right where they are.

Who wears a red bow tie at night? Perky and stiff all at once. Images so dark, it is a challenge to lighten them, to brighten them, what will they become?

coherenceSlowly with downward motion, equally slow to rise … moving to and fro, settling once again. This makes no sense! What ever does? A strange convincing is what we give ourselves, master story tellers, awesome reality creators. Think ~ great surprises await.

Misfit phrases make beautiful lyrics for song. How many life experiences can one tune hold? How many memories, or current realizations?

Practice … practice releasing anything coherent, break open that cage of conformity, let it go. Standards and norms are not to be sought after. No cookies for the cookie cutter, the mold has been broken.

Oscar WildeHa, ha, ha, a chuckle rises from depths, laughing, silly nonsense. Imaginings of thoughts potential, mayhem?

Current bounces high coming to a point as it peaks and falls once again, rapidly. A slight, ever so faint smokiness develops … unseen, barely noticed.

Two circles, lopsided beauty they hold. Delicate remnants of the past, collected there and held as treasure.

Mired, or Mirrored … who knows. The mystery really isn’t a puzzle at all. Categories fall, they fail. New beginnings forming some day, a new end.

Purposeful opening to scattered remains of what began as a question never fully answered.

Things That Don’t Make Sense

Published November 29, 2017 by tindertender

Blue face, fire for hair, looking at me. Strong man rolls up his sleeves. The message is not clear, and your voice here is not real.

Trying-to-make-sense-out-of-things-that-don-t-makeMan laying flat on his back. Peering under him I see another, strapped to him, back to back … the second one is face down in the water of the bed, shackled, allowed to come up for a gasping breath of air only occasionally.

How does it know I am sleeping? Sensors … Who is Santa Claus, really? “He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

People … they run around always telling themselves they must do this or that. They claim to know what strength is. They’ve been observing for some time, many … There are so many more they are not aware of, they have no idea of the strengths deep within those, nor will they. What has been exposed is only a portion of reality. True strength remains private.

Things that don’t make sense, yet are interesting just the same. Those who do not toil have nothing to deeply satisfy them. They look to others for gain.

Eliminating Hurtful Memories & Actions

Published October 27, 2017 by tindertender

I’m living in the house he bought for her. She raised her three children here, she cared for her ailing mother here. She had relations with a man here for over a decade, this was their home.

30 years ago I met a man, he was charming, with sweet finesse, an Italian. I loved the way he walked, the way he talked, the way he smiled at me, and fell instantly in love. We dated for 3 years. I knew he had another, but he seemed so honest in his desire for me. Oh what a young and naive mind will believe … I was going to stop dating him because he refused to stop seeing the other woman, always giving me a sob story about her heart. That is when he agreed to let me move in.

I lived with him for 4 years. Cooking, cleaning, going hunting … whatever he wanted to do, I was so happy to be there, I looked forward to my whole life being with him. At the seventh year, things changed, he grew distant. I knew he was having an affair. It took nearly a year, but it became quite clear, obvious, proof left nothing left to lie to myself about.

I cracked. I left him, broken, my heart in pieces, my world shattered. I left my job after 10 years, I had nothing, no home, no job, no relationship. I spent the summer camping in the wilderness which helped a lot, but not quite enough. The rest of the story I will leave untold for now.

I sit here drinking my coffee, thinking of the memories his affair had, and of the woman and her memories of this house and her family, supported by the one who broke my heart, he graciously caring for her and her children for nearly 20 years. I’m reminded of the heartbreak, and I think about ‘this woman’. It suddenly occurs to me that I was ‘this woman’ to the one he was seeing before I came on scene. And I feel somewhat shamed. She is gone now, cancer took her, however I imagine the pain that my dating this man 30 years ago caused her. My hope is that she has forgiven me.

A young 24 year old, naive, believing in love and the lies told by a horny man. All he saw was my body, and he lusted after me. Now days, we are friends, and I believe perhaps he cares more for me now than he did then, yet the painful memories are still there, connected. When will I be able to peel myself from this scenario? When will I grant myself release? When will this attachment which caused me to lose my mind be broken? Will I survive it?

Yes, I think on the pain an affair brought me, once angry with the woman, even more than the man. I remember the beginnings of this relationship and I realize I am that which has caused me pain … I take a hard look at the many other events in life, searching for the actions and behaviors in me which I claim to see in others, which are hurtful.

I swear I will find these things and eradicate them from my being.
They have no place here, in my heart.
They have no right to justification, no defense.

If goodness in the world is to be, then goodness in me must overcome these things. I tear down their defenses, and I choose to eliminate them from my life. One memory after another.

tonysbologna : Honest. Satirical. Observations.

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