If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.
Let them lose you.
You were never theirs, because you were always your own.
So let them.
Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you. Let them prove how worthy they are of your time. Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life. Let them earn your forgiveness. Let them call you to talk about ordinary things. Let them take you out on a Thursday. Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to. Let them have a safe place in you. Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden. Let them love you.
Often in this life people come to us as little round pebbles, they get under our feet, disrupting our foundation, our balance. We stumble, we fall… we hurt ourselves.
I guess living is in knowing there will always be pebbles, bringing challenges to our equilibrium. How will we manage this rolling foundation? This constantly shifting path we are on?
Will we get angry, disappointed, sad, frustrated, vengeful … will we release the need to respond at all, and just flow, knowing for some, we too are little round marbles of stone?
When a narcissist says “I LOVE YOU,” those words take on a whole different meaning. This is a letter written from the perspective of the narcissist for the souls who have fallen in love with someone who can never love them.
Dear collegue,
I’m going to say something that I would never say or admit to you.
When I say “I LOVE YOU”, I mean that I love the way you want to believe that I love you madly.
I love the things you do for me.
I love the power you give me to take advantage of your goodness by exploiting your good intentions.
Making you feel worse makes me feel better.
I love making you feel insignificant.
I love the fact that your life revolves only around me. You fix my problems, you solve my doubts, you ease my pain.
I love that all your time is dedicated to me, not to you, and how your attention is only for me.
I love making you doubt yourself and question your own sanity. You don’t know what’s right or what’s real unless I tell you.
“I LOVE YOU” means that I need you because I need someone who won’t abandon me. I need someone I can use as a punching bag.
Someone to make me feel good.
I love how my expectations of you are constantly increasing, while your expectations of me are gradually decreasing.
I love seeing failure and disappointment on your face.
When I say “I LOVE YOU”, I mean love by hate towards you.
I love myself vicariously through the love you feel for me. And I need you to suffer because I hate having to depend on you for this.
I love how my happiness is your responsibility.
I love how I feel when you are near me. How can I become a victim when you try to bring up one of my many personality flaws or harmful behaviors.
I love how I make you feel horrible when you mention something I did that hurt you.
Like you won’t leave me because you’re hooked on this toxic relationship.
I love how you support me and that I have never had to support you. Why would he do that? The things you’ll never get keep you with me.
I love how you think you are with a person who loves you.
But I am a person who shows love and affection as a manipulative tool.
I love how you need me and how you think you are with the right person.
How I make you feel unworthy and insignificant.
When I say “I LOVE YOU,” it’s not because of what love really stands for. When I say “I LOVE YOU”, it means I love how you respect my rules and how you live by them.
You need to know that I will use hurtful words and manipulation tactics under the guise of love.
You will never change me.
We both know this isn’t real. We both should know.
A man and his wife traveled to the zoo. They found a monkey that played passionately with his female. His wife told him: “what a romance.”
Then they found a lion and his lioness separated from each other; the lion was silent and alone in his corner as if the lioness did not exist. His wife told him: “what a sad scene without love.”
Her husband then told her: “throw that stone at the lioness and watch.” When she threw it down, the lion leaped roaring to defend his lioness. They saw the monkeys again and she did the same by throwing a stone; the monkey then jumped and abandoned his female to save his hide.
Her husband tells her later: “do not be fooled by what you see as romanticism in some, many times it is a deceptive appearance that hides an empty heart; there are others on the contrary who do not show anything, but their hearts are full of sincere love”.
Unfortunately today we have so many monkeys and so few lions.
Subliminal, subconscious mind controllers are losing their grip.
Keep moving forward. Forgive and forget. Walk away from those who refuse to forgive and forget. Walk away from those stuck in the need to punish others for their hurt feelings. Let them learn to transmute their own suffering.
Stand firm in the fact that you deserve love and loving relationships. You are not a trash can for everyone else to dump their emotional toxicity into. Stop accepting those “gifts”.
The man doesn’t know that there is a snake underneath.
The woman doesn’t know that there is a stone crushing the man.
The woman thinks: “I am going to fall! And I can’t climb because the snake is going to bite me! Why can’t the man use a little more strength and pull me up!”
The man thinks: “I am in so much pain! Yet I’m still pulling you as much as I can! Why don’t you try and climb a little harder!?”
The moral is— you can’t see the pressure the other person is under, and the other person can’t see the pain you’re in.
This is life, whether it’s with work, family, feelings or friends, we should try to understand each other.
Learn to think differently, perhaps more clearly and communicate better. A little thought and patience goes a long way.
Let go of the people who are not ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. ⠀ Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who are not interested in your presence. I know your goal is to do everything to gain the admiration of those around you, but that is an impulse that only steals your time, your energy, your mental and physical health. ⠀ When you start looking for a life with more joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in that place. This does not mean that you need to change who you are, it just means that you have to let go of the people who are not ready to accompany you on that path. ⠀ If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you devote your time to, it is not healthy to continue offering your energy and your life to those people. ⠀ The truth is, you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you. And that’s what makes the moment so special when you finally meet people with whom you have matching friendship and love. You will know how precious this is because before you experienced what it is not. ⠀ The more time you spend trying to be loved by someone who is unable to love you back, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of having that true connection with someone else. ⠀ There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will match the same level of interest and commitment as you. ⠀ The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow or as a background option, the longer you distance yourself from the true love you desire. ⠀ Maybe if you stop showing up, you won’t be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship ends. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will go without ringing for weeks. It doesn’t mean that you ruined your relationship, it just means that the only thing holding that relationship together was the energy that only you gave to keep it. ⠀ Its not love, its attachment. This is wanting to give a chance to those who don’t deserve it! You deserve so much more. There are people who are not meant to be in your life, and you’ll realize that with time. ⠀ The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and your energy, as both are limited. What you put your time and energy into will define your life. ⠀ When you finally realize this you then start to understand why you get so anxious or tired when you spend time with people in places and situations doing things that don’t suit you. You are literally energy “stolen” ⠀ You will also start to learn from this that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to take more care of your energy. ⠀ Make your life a safe haven, in which only people ′’compatible” with you will be allowed to enter. ⠀ Remember, you are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for persuading them to improve or change their way of being. It’s not your job to do everything for people or give your life for them. Your only obligation is to realize that you are the master of your destiny and that it is your responsibility to make yourself happy. ⠀ Starting today, decide that you deserve to receive true friendships, true commitment and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how everything will start to change in your life. You will then go on to meet more positive and good energy people in your path. ⠀ Don’t waste your time with people who are not worth it, change will bring you the love, joy, confidence and happiness you deserve and so desire.
A Tibetan story tells that one day an old wise man asked his followers the following: – Why do people yell at each other when they are angry?
The men thought for a few moments:
-Because we lose our cool – said one – that’s why we scream.- -But why yell when the other person is next to you? – Asked the wise man – Is it not possible to speak to him in a low voice? Why do you yell at a person when you’re angry?
The men gave some other answers but none of them satisfied the sage.
Finally he explained: -When two people are angry, their hearts go far apart. To cover that distance they must yell to hear each other, the angrier they are, the louder they will have to yell to hear each other over that great distance.
Then the sage continued: – What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t yell at each other but talk to each other softly because their hearts are very close, the distance between them is very small.
The wise man smiled and said: When they fall even more in love, what happens? They don’t speak, they just whisper and become even closer in their love. Finally they don’t even need to whisper, they just look at each other and that’s it.
This is how close two people are when they love each other…
Then he said: -When you argue, don’t let your hearts drift away, don’t say words that distance you further, there may come a day when the distance is so great that you can no longer find your way back…
It’s extremely rare to see two people in a relationship for the pure expansion of human consciousness, but when you do, the magnetic energy they emanate is nothing short of holy.
Most people use relationships as coping mechanisms.
They haven’t grieved something from their past and instead of confronting their inner world they grasp outwards, sometimes clinging to whatever object their hands find.
Anytime a relationship (or friendship) is used as a form of escapism, it slows down your path and eventually causes chaos in your field.
Holy relationships, or friendships, emerge through radical self honesty.
When two people are willing to not only open their hearts to one another, but to source itself, the connection becomes a transmission for elevated consciousness to enter through.
This creates a prism effect, where the light their fields emit cascades farther into the collective.
Connection has the potential to unroot human consciousness from the medieval/dark ages of consciousness, bringing it closer to an age of divinity.
Often, people go into relationships by way of hiding themselves, pretending to be that which they are not.
This produces a subtle tension throughout the relationship that resorts in blame/shame tactics which turn a once romantic connection into a battle with the “enemy”.
The ego subconsciously wants an enemy to cast its shadow upon.
This way the ego doesn’t have to take responsibility for its own path.
The incapacity to take responsibility for the path you walk is a mode of living in denial.
In a holy connection, both parties take full responsibility for their shortcomings and calmly grow into healthier states of consciousness.
Relationships, friendships, can be one of the most powerful catalysts for metaphysical growth, so long as both people are willing to look at themselves.
When I see two people who are raw and vulnerable with one another, who are unafraid to delve into their shadows without casting blame or shame onto each other during this fragile yet powerful process, I see incredible potential for humanity.
opensenseme 