That which is won ill, will never wear well, for there is a curse attends it, which will waste it; and the same corrupt dispositions which incline men to the sinful ways of getting, will incline them to the like sinful ways of spending. ~ Matthew Henry
Who purposefully cheats his friend, would cheat his God. ~ Lavater
The highest honor of friendship isn’t getting invited to “that party” or out on a girls weekend. It’s not clinking champagne glasses at fancy brunches or wearing matching shirts on a beach in Florida. That all is nice and fun and good and special, but it’s not what it’s about, not at all.
The real honor of friendship is being invited into someone’s REAL. It’s getting an invitation into the nitty gritty, the not-so-pretty, the hard stuff, the vulnerable stuff, the weird stuff, the unpolished stuff. It’s being welcomed into a home where the sink is full of dishes and the laundry is covering the couch. It’s entering the places of heart ache and pain. It’s being invited to the hospital room when your friend is still in her mesh underwear from birth. It’s sitting crosslegged in old sweats on the floor and laughing till you cry. It’s carrying around secrets that you’ve been trusted to keep. It’s listening and hearing. It’s holding space for each other. It’s answering phone calls just to talk something through.
The highest honor of friendship isn’t found in beautifully planned events or brightly filtered photos. The highest honor of friendship is messy and dingy and real. It’s in unfiltered photos of laughing so hard your double chin is showing. It’s loving each other’s babies and holding each other while you ugly cry.
I can’t stress this enough: If you’ve been invited into even one person’s real, you are blessed.
It never ceases to amaze me to see and hear people pointing at others and listing the faults they perceive to be there, or the ignoring of reasons as to why they see these things in another in the first place, mirroring back to them.
Perhaps they are part of the dominator culture. Needing to point out flaws of others so their own flaws don’t seem too big, bright, or shiny … to take attention off self and place it upon another in a manipulated fashion.
In other words … don’t look here … Look! Over there!
Dominating the viewpoints of others, forming opinions in the minds of those who will listen … about the subject matter, whatever it may be.
The need to dominate thought processes of others in any given situation is indeed the need to have another follow along with ones own personal perceptions and/or agenda … whether right or wrong.
Ever so slightly manipulating the Will of others, usurping theirs with ones own.
When others stop going along with gossip and pull away, the dominator is left standing alone, wondering, what now?
Well, dear …. Now you take a look at Self, a long introspection of what dwells there.
Release the need to manipulate anyone or anything other than the internal Self. This alone is plenty of opportunity to alter the world for the better … Unless this is not what is desired?