All posts tagged Pain

Sentient Life and Suffering

Published August 2, 2018 by tindertender

“After losing my son, I saw footage of a mother cow collapsing in the mud with grief as they carried her calf away from her. Just as I did when they carried my son’s body away. It’s why I’m vegan.”

Those who have heart … those who don’t …
and those who have yet to find it.

Mourning Cow

They Love … just as we would like to …

Recognizing Personal … And Others … Pain

Published June 9, 2018 by tindertender

There is a tendency to push the load, to give it to someone else to carry. Often life’s experiences are so painful the weight cannot be shouldered alone.

When time is taken to look deeply into the emotional life, the pain which is ours, and that which has been given us to carry for another, can be seen clearly.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Although we may think we are helping someone by carrying their load, in reality this only depletes personal ability to utilize energy for that which is wished to be seen in the world.

In truth, unless people are willing to look at their own suffering, come to terms with it, and then work toward healing it, it will not be healed. No matter how much energy we dump into it, or into them.

It is sad, for we want to help those we love. We want to heal them and make them whole. All the while, being so busy with this, we haven’t looked into our own personal stuff to see if there is anything which must be faced, dealt with and worked on for personal healing.

If not careful, too much energy will be spent on that which is outside us, and if not received and results seen, the temptation to become angry or upset happens, for all that we have given may seem to have been wasted, and many times that is the truth of it.

Focus on healing your own wounds. Recognize that which is yours and that which belongs to someone else. It is possible to love someone while putting personal health first. It is crucial, for if we allow ourselves to be depleted, we can do no one any good.

What you may have believed to be your own burden may actually be the load of another you’ve become accustomed to carry.

Gift yourself freedom.
Freedom to love and care for you,
while still loving others.

Capacity to give love, and care, and compassion, are greatly increased when we become healthy.



A Different Kind Of Movement

Published March 9, 2018 by tindertender

Many people assume the goal is the “rise above” suffering. Busily, they try to do this, struggling daily. So far, we can see pretty well that this doesn’t work.

Some say they are swimming in pain and they simply can’t get out. Well, here’s the deal, a connection to what assists in moving through it must be made.

A swimmer needs to find their fins, so to speak. A ‘walker’ must learn to balance on legs. An emotion surfer, a mover and a shaker, learns to end that perpetual sinking and swim, and walk, and fly through it, finding the other side. A skill like any other, and just as difficult to learn.

Don’t give up if you are thinking to. The traveling method you are learning now beats all else!

The Water Is Deep

Published February 2, 2018 by tindertender

When The Water is Too Deep

She found herself drowning, hard to breathe. It felt as though water had filled her lungs as it poured from her eyes and dripped from her nose. She couldn’t fathom where it was all coming from, she didn’t even care ~ she just wanted it to stop, to dry up.

The whole world sat atop her shoulders and she just could not carry it any longer … it was so heavy, it was crushing her. She crawled along the baseboard of the room, feeling her way to bed, for she could not see anymore.

Curled into a ball she begged for release and none was given. She must learn to rise above this, to surf this ocean of waves. How does one float when fear of water is present, how does one swim when strength was never built?

She takes a deep breath and wills her body to stop leaking, she insists her mind obey when she says Be Still. After a time all is silent, empty, dull and void ~ It is finally quiet.

She resolves herself to pick up the shattered craft that is her intellect, her peace. She will make it through this storm, and she will carry what remains of memory into the unknown, using it to assist her in endurance and patience, she will harness this pain and create compassion from it, for self … and for those who gifted her with it.

Determination grows stronger within her, her will increases … not in stubbornness, but in a sure capability to continue on.

The Challenge of Growing Pains

Published November 22, 2017 by tindertender

1000 times over there is demand to inform the world why these games are played out. Lives are at stake, they are being ended by this carelessness. There is no need to be loud or obnoxious to make it clear.

Growing pains

Life plus trauma, begets life plus trauma, it is everywhere and expansion is increasing. The pain must be observed, embraced, and consciously healed by each individual in order to reverse the flow of that which is damaging to the planet, and all possibility of a peaceful future.

It is challenging, it is frightening to revisit that which has caused so much pain, but if it is not dealt with, if people continue to stuff it and pretend it is not there, it will continue to manifest in very destructive ways, it will never heal, it will fester. We can see the truth of this in every day as we look around us and when we see into our own heart and mind.

The task of bringing healing to the earth is an arduous one, it is not meant for those who will not bring themselves to muster strength to face these things, however, ALL people have within them what it takes to do so. It is a choice, a decision which must be made on a personal level.

You’re either for growing pain, or for healing it.
What seeds are you planting for the future?


Published October 21, 2017 by tindertender

Bird with key

Yesterday I got a message from someone
who told me they were raped at 7
And a woman who found out her husband
had another family
I got a message from a girl who said
her brother had touched her for 14 years
And a mother who confessed
she had beaten her daughter regularly
when she was just a baby

Tuesday I woke up to a photo
of someone’s severely undernourished body
asking me if she had to eat today
And my Instagram inbox was flooded
with excruciating pictures
of sliced up arms and inner thighs
and pleas dripping in agony
and unanswerable questions like
“why me, I can’t stop hurting”

People are in suffering
a lot
It blows me away
what we humans endure

What we face in our day to days
is often unspeakable
and so we push things deep

The challenge is
sometimes we forget
where we put things

Sometimes we forget
we got hurt
and didn’t feel

So in the busy
when something gets hit
when we get triggered
and we go down
we are not clear
how one little thing
can feel like the world is ending

I have been playing with this lately

When I get upset
I tend to quickly,
often carelessly
assume why

I will look around me
and assign something
or someone
to that feeling

This makes me feel better
at least temporarily
because, I think,
“now I know!”
But it’s often not accurate
And it certainly creates separation
when I am constantly
making everything
about something outside of me

It justifies itself
and then conveniently
I don’t have to look at myself
I don’t have to dig deep
all I have to do
is fix the thing outside of me

But that hasn’t been working
not lately
And I think it’s mostly because
it’s me
just me
that’s freaking

And while yes, things are triggering me
the work isn’t so much
about changing everything around me
but looking at
what keeps getting hit
in me

Hard things happen
to most of us
at some point

We get wounded
And then we get to choose…

Do we spend a lifetime
wondering “why me”
feeling pity
Or do we learn to be okay
and again

It feels as simple
and challenging as that

I am pretty sure
there is no gray zone here
there is no “kinda trying”

Healing takes commitment,
time and energy
And you either choose to see it through
Or you spend your life trying to manage
the world around you
so you know you will be okay
constantly fearing
the next shoe to drop
the next hand to slip
the next fracture
that will only confirm
what you are starting to believe is true…
There is no one as messed up
as you

If we all were actually open and honest
I think we would be shocked by
what is really going on
for most people
on the inside

I am lucky
I get access
a lot more than most

People share their deepest
darkest, tenderest secrets with me

I am moved
by what I see, hear, read

And it reminds me
over and over and over again
that we all have
our silent sorrows

And it reinvigorates me
to do my work
to do the work to be
to be
with more
more easily

Because my rope
got frayed badly
these last few years
So even the slightest weight
or pull
has me questioning
if I can make it through
or if this time
my rope will break in two

And I am pretty sure
that all my bracing
isn’t helping

I have been noticing
how much I find myself
literally bracing often
My jaw instinctively clenched
my hands trembling slightly
my mind racing
searching for any indication
this isn’t going to be okay
that I am not going to be okay

And the worst part is
I know this isn’t effective
We will always find evidence
for what we focus on

Healing, I find, is a balance
A balance
between trusting
and listening

I think my fear has been
that if I am not careful
I will keep repeating
the same missteps
I will keep choosing
things that deeply hurt me
I will keep being disappointed
in me

And I genuinely feel
that I am touching tired
in a way that has me feeling
significantly less resiliency

So I get it…
I get why we get paralyzed
and freeze
I understand why we aren’t sure
if we want to try again

But I also see
nothing but suffering
when we decide
there is no hope for me

So while I cannot tell you
why something happened to you

And while you cannot go back in time
and change anything
You can choose
today and everyday
to never let
or anything

You my friend
get to choose
Be un-reducible

❤️ Emily Joy Rosen

#couragemylove #justwakingup #healinghearts #secretkeepers

[o] Painting by: Christian Schloe

Chaotic Shapes

Art and Lifestyle by Brandon Knoll

sitting by sails.

poetry by nicolas ryan brown.

A Fine Balance

All the linked posts under this blog are an outcome of my observations about the things that often go unnoticed and the things that are often taken for granted.

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