My longest known friend of 30 years and I have history … a lot of history.
Yesterday, I unleashed on him. Something he wanted to talk about, kept putting it in my face, triggered a memory of pain from our past, and I lit into him. And I left, pissed.
Later, I called and came back by for a conversation.
You see, it is not his fault I carry pain. Sure, he participated in circumstances, but it is I who have yet to heal my trauma, learning how to love me, more completely.
I realized, that while I speak frequently about the “blame game” and how it does no one any good, I actually hopped on board the blame train yesterday, and I felt as tho I failed myself, and my friend.
The time to have these conversations was at least 20 years ago.
It is not my intention to cause suffering for a man who is in his final years. As I mentioned, the time for these conversations was a long time ago, and I chose not to have them then. The time for talking of the past is gone.
The time for healing trauma from the past is now. Without pointing fingers and taking the easy way out, by offloading pain into another being …. human or animal.
Too many people choose to put their pain onto another life form, regardless of their lack of participation in the original offense.
We must learn to transmute our pain, NOT spew it into the world, exacerbating and intensifying the pain already in the world. No, transmutation is the only way.
How to do this?
I cannot say for certain.
Yesterday I drove into the forest. I veered onto a road which turned off the main highway and I followed it for awhile. There were no vehicles or people there.
I pulled over to the side of the road and got my folding chair out of the car and had a seat. I began to pray.
Now, I’m not a regular praying type of gal. When young, my Prayer was done in song, and talk, into the seemingly empty forest. This is where I found myself once again. And so I began speaking.
I spoke of my feelings and how I am aware that blaming others for our pain is unacceptable. I asked earnestly to be shown how to transmute my pain so I did not leak it into the world. I prayed for a better understanding, so I could stop making assumptions based on a skewed perspective.
I asked for release, so I could offer it to my friend.
I choose to remain in love. And it isn’t always easy.
Looking for ways, asking for spiritual assistance, to shift perspective, clean up past emotional trauma, and move forward in a clean state of being, a state which only increases love with each encounter, rather than leaving behind anything that might cause doubt, anxiety, or any form of negative thought patterns in those I encounter.
https://medium.com/@paintopower7/transmuting-pain-into-power-f823087d1fe. According to Nicola, here are a few steps toward inner alchemy.
1) Face it Feel it. The first step of transmuting pain into power is to allow yourself to feel your emotions.
2) Pick up your jewels. The second step of transmuting the pain into power is recognizing that no experience should be left on the ground.
3) Don’t sit on it, share it. The final step in transmuting pain into power in my humble opinion is to share the lesson of it.
https://intuitiveartists.org/blog-posts/category/the-art-of-transmuting-pain. According to Jan, Emotional and even physical pain is the way our bodies (and hearts) tell us, “Pay attention to me. See me and understand me. Witness me and get curious about why I showed up here, and then I can be on my way.” It’s really only when we keep denying it or believing we’re truly oppressed by the pain that it shows up over and over again to teach us differently.
https://www.paintransmutation.com/. This site offers courses in transmutation. Healing from pain, trauma, sadness and energetic imbalance is a conscious choice. You have to decide that you deserve to live and feel free from pain and follow that decision through.
Will you transmute pain, sorrow, fear, loneliness and trauma with Soul Alchemy and love?
Will you break the karmic cycle with your awareness?
Will you accept your sacred path, and become what you are and always have been?
A fierce vessel of healing!
Pain can be our gift, or it can be our ruin.