Marriage

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WHEN GOD IS PORTRAYED AS AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND đź’”

Published December 24, 2025 by tindertender

There is a reason Scripture uses marriage language when speaking of God and humanity.

Because marriage reveals love most clearly —
and abuse most obviously.

Scripture says:
“No one ever hated his own body,
but nourishes and cherishes it.” 💍

That statement alone exposes a massive distortion.

Because if God truly hates, tortures,
or eternally punishes His creation,
then God would be doing
what no healthy husband ever does.

So let me tell this as a parable.

đź“– THE PARABLE đź“–

There was a man who married a woman
and told her he loved her.

At first, everything seemed fine.

But soon, he began to find fault.

She didn’t wash the dishes correctly.
She didn’t cook the food the way he liked.
She didn’t fold the clothes the way he expected.

He told her,
“If you really loved me, you’d do better.”

Over time, his love became conditional.

“You’re still my wife,” he said,
“but you disappoint me constantly.”

Eventually, he told her:

“Because you didn’t live up to my standards,
I will now torture you forever —
and this will prove how much I loved you.”

When people recoiled in horror,
he replied:

“You just don’t understand love.
I warned her.
She chose this.”

No one would call that love.

No one would call that justice.

They would call it abuse.

Yet this is precisely how God
is portrayed in much of church culture.

🧠 THE PSYCHOLOGICAL FRACTURE 🧠

When people are taught that:

  • love includes torture
  • justice requires endless punishment
  • forgiveness still demands payment

the psyche splits.

The mind is forced to hold two opposing ideas:
“God is love”
and
“God will torture you forever.”

That contradiction cannot be integrated.

So the soul fractures.

Some become fearful.
Some become cruel.
Some become numb.

Many begin defending abuse as righteousness.

This is what happens
when the carnal mind governs theology.

The carnal mind only understands
control, reward, and punishment.

It cannot comprehend restorative love.

🔥 WHAT JESUS ACTUALLY REVEALED 🔥

Jesus did not reveal a God
who punishes His bride.

He revealed a God
who lays His life down for her.

He did not say,
“I will destroy you until you comply.”

He said,
“Father, forgive them,
they do not know what they are doing.”

A God who tortures His own body
would be less loving
than a human husband.

And Scripture never presents God
as less loving than we are.

⚠️ WHY THIS MATTERS ⚠️

When the church teaches people
to worship an abusive image of God,
it doesn’t just distort theology.

It damages the nervous system.
It fractures the psyche.
It normalizes domination.
It trains people to tolerate harm.

People begin to believe:

  • abuse is love
  • fear is obedience
  • silence is holiness

This is not the gospel.

It is trauma
wearing religious language.

✨ THE TRUE MEASURE ✨

Love does not torture.
Love restores.

Justice does not destroy.
Justice heals.

And a husband who hates his own body
is not a reflection of God —
he is a warning.

Spirits Whisper 🕊️
Love never needs cruelty to prove itself.
What terror demands, love freely gives.
God does not punish His bride —
He heals her memory of who she is.
Anything less is not holiness, but harm.

Marriage Is Not for the Deceptive, Cheating, and Manipulative Man

Published September 25, 2025 by tindertender

By Dr. Falak Qadir

Let’s be clear, brother:

Most men don’t lose their marriage because they stopped loving.
They lose it to financial turbulence.
They lose it while giving their best as husbands.
Many get outplayed by deceptive, unfaithful, manipulative women.

But sometimes—the enemy isn’t outside.
Sometimes, it’s within.
Sometimes—it’s you.

Your need to twist the truth until it suits you.
Your urge to spread your seed far and wide.
Your hunger for pleasure, not purpose.

And when the destruction starts with you—
It cuts deeper.
Because you didn’t just lose a wife.
You sabotaged your own kingdom.

Let’s break it down:

  1. Deception Always Comes Back With Interest

You can lie to her.
You can lie to the kids.
You can even lie to yourself.

But the truth is undefeated.

Every hidden chat.
Every secret bank account.
Every double life.

It all returns—with compound interest.
And when it does, it costs more than honesty ever would.

⸻

  1. Cheating Isn’t Freedom—It’s Suicide in Installments

They told you multiple women make you powerful.
They lied.

Every side chick is a liability.
Every affair is a trap.
Every secret kiss puts your empire at risk.

Men don’t lose their wealth in the boardroom.
They lose it in bedrooms they should’ve never entered.

⸻

  1. Manipulation Is Weakness Disguised as Strategy

Some men think they’re smart because they can spin stories.
But leadership isn’t trickery—it’s trust.

You don’t need to outsmart your wife.
You need to outbuild your enemies.

And every time you manipulate her, you’re not leading—you’re losing.
Because the day she stops believing you is the day she stops following you.

⸻

  1. A Lying Husband Trains a Lying Household

Your kids are watching.
Every secret, every shift of blame, every “little cover-up.”

And they’ll copy it.

You think you’re hiding flaws.
But you’re planting seeds.

And one day, you’ll look at your son or daughter and realize—
They didn’t inherit your wealth.
They inherited your deception.

⸻

  1. Respect Dies Where Lies Live

You can’t demand respect while building your house on dishonor.

She may stay.
She may smile.
She may even play along.

But deep down—she doesn’t trust you.
And without trust, your crown means nothing.

⸻

Final Word: Don’t Be the Man Who Buries His Own Legacy

Marriage is not for the deceptive, cheating, or manipulative man.

Because no woman can trust him.
No children can follow him.
No legacy can survive him.

The truth is simple:
You don’t destroy her with lies—you destroy yourself.

So if you can’t lead with truth, don’t lead at all.
And if you won’t be faithful, don’t be married.

Because marriage isn’t a game of strategy.
It’s a covenant of legacy.

And the man who plays games with it—
Ends up losing everything he thought he owned.

ctto

Love is not butterflies in your stomach. It’s roots in the ground.

Published September 9, 2025 by tindertender

A man who never cheated in 30 years destroyed every “relationship tip” with one brutal line…

1. They asked him: “How did you do it? No affairs, no flirting, not even fantasies?” He didn’t talk about morality or religion. He said: “Every day I choose not me — but us.” Not “what do I feel today”, but “what does our bond need to survive.” Love is not comfort. Love is doing what feels hard – on purpose.

He never said “I want to be happy.” He said: “I want to be useful to her. Only then I’m happy.” That flips everything. Today men are told: “love yourself first, never sacrifice, don’t endure.” But he lasted 30 years with one woman because he understood: happiness is not in pleasure but in loyalty. Not in novelty but in depth.

3. He knew temptation is not another woman. Temptation is your own pride. The hunger to feel young, desired, alive. But he asked himself: “If I betray her — who am I then?” It’s not about who she is. It’s about who you become next to her.

And if you can stand next to one woman – you become the kind of man you respect yourself.

4. His secret was never romance. He washed the floor when she was tired. He listened when he didn’t want to. He stayed silent when he wanted to win the argument. He didn’t search for new women. He searched for new sides of her.

His only betrayal was against his old self. “I cheat on who l was, so I can stay with her.”

5. He killed the cult of dopamine. “If every time you feel bored you run to someone new — you’ll stay a boy forever. Love is not butterflies in your stomach. It’s roots in the ground.” And after 30 years he wasn’t burned out. He became unshakable.

Marriage: Merging Bloodlines

Published April 5, 2023 by tindertender

It never really struck me until the ”dream” I had about it two nights ago.

Two fathers, One with 4 daughters, One with several sons … 5?

The fathers were investigating the bloodline, considering if it were worth connecting and interbreeding within.

I figure at least 1 daughter will merge with the others son.

For some families, bloodlines, this consideration is critical. Are they of good stock? Are they well to do? How do they conduct themselves, in public and private? Are they clean? Are they respectable? Are they held in high esteem? Are they of force? Or Power? Are they pure, as in having innocence? This is the family line we’re talking about after all.

In other places, it’s about loooove …. Falling in love, uniting bloodlines, falling out of love, separating.
Falling in love again, uniting bloodlines, falling out of love, separating. And so on.

Cording …

When I think of this, women who have perhaps 3 or 4 children with different men, and men who father children with different women … I think about all the bloodlines that individual and those created by the union, can actually birth into. Gets messy if you’re into reincarnation. The controllers probably none too happy about the mess.

How to correct it?

Eliminate those who are of messy bloodlines, move them into a separate realm.

How?

Patented technology, and the good ol’ fashioned way of transition.

Bloodlines are important for offspring and generations to come.

But in some places it’s not about wealth or blood or status or stature… it’s about that oh so sweet and mostly fleeting thing called “love” … which many mistake as lust.

How to clean up the bloodlines?

Unravel time, reconstruct it. Allow vibrational/generational patterns to magnetize to their specific match.

Here’s a catch tho…

Before we were birthed into this material body, we Were already. From whence did we come? What bloodlines were those? Our origins. “Before” this dense body/mind set.

Remembering the dream.

Fellas, Jump In The Pool

Published March 5, 2021 by tindertender

The last thing I wanted to do was jump in the damn pool with my clothes on. I didn’t care about the pics or the photo op. Real talk, I couldn’t have cared any less about the pool jump.
.
But she did.
.
She wanted it.
.
My wife has been married before but never really had a proper wedding. It was down at the courthouse kinda shit.
.
And this time she had a dream. She wanted the gown and flowers and location and cake and photographers etc. she wanted the fairy tale when in reality I’d have been just fine down at the courthouse.
.
So I jumped in the pool.
.
Not cause she made me. Not cause she’d have been mad or held it over me (she ain’t like that), I did it because it was important to her.
.
And I’ve learned over the years that I have things that are important to me that she’d likely never give a damn about but I want her involved.
.
So I jumped in the pool.
.
Because I love her. And I love her dreams and her desires. I jumped in the pool not for the photo, I jumped in the pool for her.
.
Her dreams may not be my dreams, but I wanted my queen to know her dreams were important to me. Her desires I care about.
.
So I jumped in the pool.
.
Fellas, jump in the pool.
.
Don’t be an ass. Don’t be a stick in the mud. It ain’t a flex to push her down or roll your eyes at her dreams. It ain’t tough to mock her or call her your old lady. It ain’t a flex to keep her down, it’s a flex to push her out to fly! It’s KING shit to empower your woman to LIVE HER OWN LIFE!
.
This is your fucking queen.
.
You want her to treat you like a King? You want her by your side when you do your shit and live your life?
.
Then stand by her. Do the silly shit. Take the photos. Dance in the middle of the restaurant.
.
I want my baby to dream and I want her to know that I may not have the same dreams, but I support her and will take whatever pictures she wants.
.
So I jumped in the pool.
.
Love you baby.

www.seanwhalen.com