Written by Maria Palumbo: https://www.facebook.com/maria.palumbo.loves; https://mariapalumbo.com/
I will meet you
Father
In the men
that I meet
Until I let go
of the expecting
you will change.
Get better.
Stop drinking.
Get therapy.
You know, love yourself.
Love me.
I will experience your fire eyes
and words of hatred
until I am ready
to accept you
and stop sacrificing myself to help
you.
No amount of pleading
Crying
Waiting
Making you laugh
ever brought you back
for long.
You collapsing back
into you
And I learning what it is like
to be left alone.
Any hit or word of anger felt better
because at least it meant
you acknowledged
I existed.
Otherwise you would cry
lost
in your own demise.
Watching you suffer
always hurt
worse.
And the peace was never peaceful
for it meant something else
was coming.
What did they do to you?
I’d wonder.
And the question kept me soft
in my heart.
What did your parents do?
Who hurt you?
My care kept me close.
I felt indebted
Spending years of my life
trying to convince you
I cared.
Someone cares.
I promise.
I wanted to be the one that could save you
The one that stayed
for that would not be my mother
And you would remind me
of that daily.
I will keep trying to complete this cycle
Prove that I am lovable
Convince the unconvinceable
Until I can learn to live in peace
without you
and stop trying
to fill that aching
for you
When the peace has always been
the most difficult part.
https://mailchi.mp/d4e4301dfa32/your-wound-is-sexy
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