Forgiveness

All posts tagged Forgiveness

In The Beginning …

Published July 30, 2018 by tindertender

There were two young men, one brunette and one sandy haired. The first was of average height and stocky and the second, slender and tall, lanky. The first dark haired man was smitten with the girl, he wanted her for himself, yet she was smitten with the tall, lanky one, she chose to be with him.

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Photo by Pablo Heimplatz

When they were discovered together the stout, dark haired man was furious! He created a contract of taxation … he wanted 15 to 35% of everything they had, and everything they ever would have. She told him he was only upset because she chose the one over him, and she threw the document back at him, refusing to sign. There is NO price tag on Love. They took her fair haired lover away and they hurt him … keeping him from her, to this very day.

Jealousy has no honor. It is not pretty, or handsome, it cares not for others at all. It’s focus is on destruction of everything good. What does one do when they’ve been rejected? How do they deal with the hurt they feel? Is it not better to decide that the one they pined for actually is not the one suited for them and simply move on?

Heartache, heart break, one after another. Life will give it to us over and over again, it has, and we have experienced the truth of it. The root of it all is the jealousy of one man … and the whole world suffers for it. They said the woman ate the apple, but no, she chose love over being possessed … Gentleness over a prideful owner. And so the would be prideful owner has, for all of time, caused much suffering in the world.

Some say she should have allowed him to possess her, for the good of the whole, but if one is possessed and not allowed the freedom to love, then the love of the whole would be poisoned anyway, living false happiness while she suffered. Would anyone of honor, integrity, living in morality say they could actually be happy, knowing it possible only for the suffering of one?

If one is not free to love, are any actually, truly free?

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Photo by Bruce Hong

How to mend hearts? How can the originator of this whole mess be convinced there always has been one more suited to his being? Does he not know his twin flame waits? She too, most likely, has been suffering under this spell he has cast into the world. Jealousy closes the mind to the bigger picture, and the goodness that could be isn’t, because of it.

How can she facilitate healing? How can she free her love and open the clouds above, allowing the sun to shine on all hearts who suffer? How can she let the one who caused so much pain know that he, too, has one waiting for him, and how she, along with all others, has suffered due to his inability to see the bigger picture?

Rage closes the heart, room cannot be found for that which would fill and smooth the hurt. To be possessed by one who does not truly love is hell itself, and cannot be allowed. Yet from the beginning this has been the way of the world, following in the footsteps of the original man who became so insane he could not see past his emotion, noticing that he was lacking knowledge of the workings of the heart, perhaps too prideful to acknowledge it, if he did.

Woman did not cause the fall of the world. Jealousy of a man did. And still, to this day, wars are fought because men are not ‘getting their way’.

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Photo by JD Mason

Is it not time to begin again? Knowing what we know now, can we not find a better way, one in which allows healing and true love to exist?

Lust is not love. Lust wants to posses, and it is followed by pride. When the one possessed leaves or is freed, wars are fought and people die … this is the current reality, caused by the original event of shattered pride and need for possession and power over and of another.

All this time blame has been put on the head of that young woman, and women all over the world have carried this burden. All she ever wanted was to love, and to be loved. All she still wants is to love, and to be loved. She has been searching for it, for him, and he for her.

It seems they have come together, even though she did not understand what was happening. Her mind had been clouded by generations of programming, by the embedded emotion of fear and pain. Is it possible to heal this wound from so long ago and bring peace to all lives, shedding the doctrine imposed on humanity, breaking the spell?

Trigger … 

Published May 15, 2018 by tindertender

“Go ahead … do it … no one has the right to judge you, well, almost no one.”
… as they shove a picture of Satan eating the brains of a person in front of you.

Reminding someone of error which occurred decades ago will not heal anyone, or anything. People making these judgments of others never see the details behind their actions, completely lacking compassion & understanding about surrounding circumstances or state of mind.

Past actions cannot ever be changed, yet that does not stop a person from living, from learning, from trying to repay … life, society … whoever, whatever … for the wrong. It does not stop them from learning … perhaps learning what they were never taught before mistakes were made, before realizing the sacredness of all that is.

I think of the boy who lit a forest on fire. I hear the memories of words said by those who rallied for his … and his families … extreme punishment. I think to myself that this young man has potential to be the biggest advocate for the forests in his future … if only someone would teach him the sacredness of the earth, the forests, the life that dwells there. Properly coached, he may develop a passion for protecting and nurturing the growth of the forest and that which depends on it for living. He could come into a fierce passion for creating health in the world. His error in no way seals his fate as a destroyer. Those who attempt to put him in that box for life are criminal.

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Photo by Shelby Miller

The same can be said of other situations. As a young person I smoked. I tossed out the cigarette butts not once thinking of the harm I was doing. I did not know the filters do not deteriorate. I thought the sweeper truck would get them. Today, when walking in the forest or park I make it a point to pick up those that I see. I wish to pick up as many as I threw out, and then some … flipping the scale to the positive.

I used to practice verbal war. I had a tongue so sharp it would leave people stammering not knowing how to respond, speechless. That was angry me. Today, my goal is to be just as kind (and then some) as I was cruel. I truly do not have any desire to harm anyone. Honestly I never did, however being lost in pain and the darkness of anger, it happened.

This does not mean I’ve decided to be a push-over … far from it.

Realizing how much care for the world dwells in the heart after a life of anger and pain is refreshing. The desire to expand this is intense. Yet there will always be those who throw the past in the face and place judgement, stating no good could ever come from one who did harm. They are liars … and they ought not be allowed to make “I AM” statements for anyone other than themselves. If they do … it is only because they feel a sense of superiority over others, and this will lead to trouble for them.

So massage the trigger. Recognize it for what it is. Affirm the statement you, and you alone, make for your future and the contribution you will give. Stand alone if you must, but be true to you and shed that which brings you suffering … in doing so, your imprint of suffering in the world will recede and something more beautiful will begin to grow.

It is far from easy, especially when there are people telling you how horrible they believe you are. Drown out their voices and tell yourself the truth, the truth that only you know … and it is usually never what others plant in your mind. Count the blessings, there are many, none less than the other no matter how small. Make a list in your mind of the things you are grateful for. A shift will happen, and forward progress will become easier … every time.

What Can Be Said Of Time?

Published May 10, 2018 by tindertender
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Photo by Aron Visuals

Every morning before I get a chance to talk myself out of it I climb onto the stationary bicycle. There is that moment when I begin to say to myself, “it can wait until tomorrow”, which is why I get on before I’m fully awake.

After the remaining exercises I sit and breath, quieting my mind, learning how to be still anew, every morning. With the work schedule it is easy to tell myself I haven’t time for deep silence or contemplation, yet this is exactly where the connection with the larger reality is made. By NOT allowing proper time, we only cheat our self of that which is most beneficial.

The mind gets distracted by things, time disappears as it gets caught in webs placed around us … advertising, television, commotion in the household, neighborhood crime, world events … to remain centered and come from that place is a challenge many do not take.

Strong energy is always inspiring and provoking. Anyone who wishes to follow an interest or continually grow toward something worthwhile has an enthusiastic energy.

Seeing imbalance in others seems simple, yet seeing it in ourselves is difficult. Finding balance is key.

Honoring our self is critical, and respecting the earth as sacred is just as important, for an unhealthy planet cannot support us as we need.

It is never too late to change. Regret is useless. Forgiveness may be necessary. Bravery is valuable. It’s beneficial to act with courage and to be empathetic, to grow knowledge of how our actions affect others and the planet.

Cycle Of Pain

Published November 3, 2017 by tindertender

broken heartThe smell of a “too hot” cast iron skillet is pretty awful, I thought it was the worst of the day. I went to bed and my dogs decided I only needed 12″ of the mattress to sleep on, so I got up. That topped the cast iron “too hot” smell. But then … a complete stranger living with the pain of ancestors trauma decided to take out hatred and anger on me for no reason, insinuating I must be putrid. This is the icing on the evenings cake, and it is sad, for there are many hearts who are in the grip of this horrible pain, and the only solution they have to deal with it is lashing out and blaming others … others who had no part in the history made.

We are in the midst of creating history this very moment. To make this tale a good one, we must stop with the continuation of the old stories, the old experiences, we must build a new life which starts from square one. Out with the old, in with the new.

It is scary, for this pain has become the only friend some people have. For many years it kept me company, and anger was there too. I have had my fill of these two, they do not belong in the world I live in now, nor are they invited into my future.

Hurt people hurt others, until they decide they have had enough.

My hope is that it becomes easier for us all to accept the credit we deserve for the energies we put into the world. Healing the old stories in our personal lives will assist the ancestors in their own release … if this is something you can relate to. The cycle must end somewhere, and it will … whether we determine the change, or are given it.

Ramblings of a Madman

Published September 8, 2017 by tindertender

I recently read a small book titled “The Book of the Law”. It was a little crazy and the scribe wrote these ramblings as the speaker raved on about this and that, stating one contradiction after the other. At the end it was written one should burn the book after reading it. Well, I do not burn books, however I did write on a piece of paper Ramblings of a Madman and put it in the middle of the book.

There are sects which try very hard to make sense of these types of ramblings, they pour their energies into trying to follow them. Nasty and corrupt things can occur when energy is given to madness. It is wise to listen instead to the center of ones beingness, and trust in what they find there, uninfluenced by another human.

Power Within
Divinity dwells within, and when we try to look outside ourselves we often do find just that … madness. When we grow it, it gets stronger. The key to diminishing it, is to go within, in silence, and listen … not for the audible word, but for the knowing that comes from true communion. Sometimes it is difficult to know when we are in communion, until we look back, and begin to count the blessings which have been bestowed on us.

Trusting that the Universe has our back, even when we are in the midst of failure, is key. Only good will come from every single deed, sometimes, impossible to see until later. Those who have left us, have gifted us with eye opening awareness. While here, they may not have known that in their core they came to do just that. Yet because of them, of their sacrifice, our eyes open more each day.

Release the anger that might be harboring in the mind and heart. Recognize the gifts, and move forward in forgiveness, compassion, and love … love for self as well … knowing that as deep as one travels in the darkness, we may also go just as far into the light … if we choose it.

We Are At Choice

Published March 18, 2017 by tindertender

As a young girl, before boyfriend or kiss, and at the time life was being lived with the 3rd “dad”, I had a dream, a vision if you will, of a man on a mountain. He was on the highest one, far away, yet near at the same time. The message was clear, He Is Mine as He is all of ours. I awoke with this memory of walking into this life, He being the last vision before awakening in this body. He left me with the distinct knowledge and feeling of being loved, deep in the pit of my stomach, in the very core of my being, Soul Love.

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This is the knowing that has kept me sane, and has kept me hopeful for mankind, for myself.

Many techniques are being employed to pull our thoughts and beliefs from Creator. “Light beings” send messages encouraging us not to think of them as The Man On The Mountain, true, they are not. They also do not send the innermost truth of love either, although words speak it. That beautiful love filled gut feeling does not accompany their message.

I am grateful for the memory of life before time, where grasses were golden as the sun shone upon them. I walked through them, toward the sun, into this world, this life. Turning my head to the right, there He was, beautiful, and He still watches. He watches it all, He sees us all, and knows our woes. He knows the damages done full well.

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Many of us grasp at straws looking for hope. In our naivety we are sometimes easily led astray, influenced by the manipulator, the false version of what is good. We know this, for with time it shows truth of its reality plain as day.

I urge you to look within yourselves. Shut out the distraction, it can be quite difficult for they pull hard and strong. Work hand in hand with your physician, with your spiritual counselor learning techniques and methods for stilling your mind. This is indeed a fight. A fight for your sanity, a fight for love … and with love, with connection to each other, we will come to know this great love in community and that essence in us all that God loves so much.

We have been taught not to trust each other. We have been led to believe people are not good. With the over prescribing of medications not given proper investigation, with the disconnect from familial love, and from the constant attack on our mental nature, tearing our self worth apart, people will react, they defend themselves, not knowing what it is that is happening. In a desperate act they may do what they would not do, given a healthy environment of love and compassion.

Forgiving each other is key to expanding beyond fear, hatred and anger.  Forgiving ourselves is needed as well, for loving ourselves will make it possible to see the good in others.

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I believe in the goodness of humanity. I believe there are those who have deadly influence upon the life of this world that God so cherishes. I also believe that with a concerted effort, we will be able to recognize and thwart these attempts at our downfall.

Humanity, with this goodness and love that dwells within hearts, perhaps buried very deep by now, but there nonetheless, is strong. We are resilient, and when we look into the past of our experience we can see that whatever has hit us, we have bounced back from, surpassed, and grown into what we currently are. At all times we are at choice, and we have power to create the reality we desire.

 

Heart open, the gap so wide it can encompass the world.

Published February 10, 2017 by tindertender

I saw a man. He was surprised with the gift of becoming a father, he cried. I cried. It was beautiful to see this man so astounded and happy for this opportunity.

Tears.jpgOften, there is the opposite reaction.  I know this to be true, and I cry. Pain from long ago creeps into my mind and heart, and it will never end, only buried beneath current days tasks and occupation.

Manipulation, selfishness, the endless pursuit of “passion”, hurting others in narrow-mindedness  … this must end.

Grief, anger, loss of trust, and a knowledge that love is lacking can cause a woman to lose herself, her mind, and become someone she despises.

I have travelled the path. It is an ongoing journey to find forgiveness in the heart for self … and for others … patience, understanding, and a love that continues on.

Heart open, the gap so wide it can encompass the world.

Love lost is another opportunity … an opportunity to widen the possibilities, to love harder, to love more … Fierce love that refuses coercion and manipulation, standing firm in truth and honor, steadfast with the integrity that has always been inside, refusing to let anyone ever again cause doubt, or a folding and submission of what is known to be right and good.

Yes, the time has come to end the puppet show, having strings pulled by those who believe themselves to be wiser.

Ferociously I rise and I say, YOU WILL NOT have your way with my mind and my heart any longer … I know I am not alone with this vow.

Bless us, who have found our way back to love after having trod the path of pain, sorrow, anger and self destruction. May experiences had be used to uncover and assist others who are currently on the path we once travelled.

 

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