From the approximate age of 4 or 5, I have been determined to make my own decisions, about what I would wear, and what I would do. I still remember the day I told my mother I would wear ‘this’ and not what she had planned for me. It snowballed from there.
At the age of 15 I ‘got’ a boyfriend, who told me what to wear, what to do, and how to even wear my hair. At first I wanted to please him, but the more abusive he became, the more I hated this invisible thumb on my life, and I rebelled. He became more physical in his attempts to control me, and I fought back, intensely, having to leave town for he knew not when to stop and my very life was in danger.
This was only the beginning of understanding. You see, at first I thought it was only humankind that wanted to do manipulation, but now know that we are all just pawns, given a certain set of circumstances to test our reactions and our ability to handle stressful situations.
There are others who hear not only what we say, but what we do not say as well … those thoughts we do not give audible words to. Not only that, they see our dreams as well. I know a man who thirty years ago told me he knew me better than I knew myself. I suppose it was true to a certain extent, however he still did not know my thoughts unless I told him, and he was not aware of my dreams.
These others, they know the three parts of a person, indeed, they know all about us, even those things we’ve forgotten. They know our waking verbal self, our waking non-verbal self, and our sleeping self. They watch, they listen, they discuss among each other our strengths and our weaknesses. They observe as we face our trials, and they see how we treat each other, in calm times, and in times of intense stress. Our hearts are known without any misconstrued stories.
In the silence of your mind are you working to build a compassionate life, or are you scheming the next steps in order to ‘pull one over’ on someone? Are you trying to be kind, or are you practicing some sort of revenge for perceived wrongs? All of these things do not go unseen, unknown.
Those who go through life without delving deep into their own being, projecting harm into the world, albeit mostly unconsciously, they will need to come back and try again, for they obviously haven’t got what it takes to merge with the whole which is in constant connection and awareness. Chaos does not work in a situation where they must be listened to at all times, not if one hopes to have a peaceful atmosphere.
And those ‘ones’ wish for peace. Which is why we face these trials. It is important to forgive, to release emotions which cause chaos in the mind and to practice calm responses and not extreme reactions which do more harm than good.
Just yesterday I had to sever ties with a person who works very hard to create chaos in the world. I understand, for I was once an angry person who did the same. It is not something I choose to practice any longer though, it hasn’t been for nearly two decades. I instead wish to practice and see if I can be a person of peace, just as thoroughly as I was a person of chaos. It’s a personal challenge, and not done because ‘someone’s listening’. I honestly wish to see if I am as good at creating good with thoughts, words and actions as I was at creating harmful words, thoughts and actions.
Many people think God hears their prayers, when spoken and when thought. Yet these same people are in denial that He also hears everything else that they say and think, they believe that their actions go unseen unless they personally call in His attention. Or perhaps they think they have the freedom to behave as poorly as they wish for they ‘believe in a savior’ so have a ‘pass’ on bad behavior.
Reality is, no one is without what mankind calls sin. No one. However, ALL of mankind has free will and the strength to become more than they were before, bearers of peace and healers of the world. They also have capacity to be destroyers of all that is good, and they can watch while that ‘good’ recovers and persists even through all that bullshit. Watch as true strength is seen in a continuation of forgiveness and release, watch as the sun shines down on their heads and they notice it, and relax into it. All the while chaos will stew and concoct plans for destroying this.
It is seen, observed, and discussed by those who are not seen by human eyes, by those who ultimately decided whether or not they wish to reside with us in the heavenly realms, out there in the multi-verse.
Holding Peaceful Thoughts in Mind.
Remaining in Love and Forgiveness.
These are things that ought to be practiced as we witness the weakness in the world, seen, or unseen. Let those who perform atrocities in all forms, allow their acts to be fully viewed, uninhibited. Do not block them, don’t put up any barriers (except perhaps small ones). They need to feel comfortable with laying all of their cards on the table, so we know exactly what we are dealing with, as a whole.
Those of us who stand for what is good and true must know the hidden places of these minds, (again, seen or unseen). It is battle we must be in the know for, that battle is near. Oh yes, I understand many believe the battle is here already, but this is only the surface, and this is not a game.
Gather your wits about you, be aware of the innuendoes, the mild manipulations, the hidden, within that which on the outside is very appealing.
Truth is truth, yet there is another that mimics this truth. It is indeed a very good copy, seeming to be truth in many ways, yet when we pay very close attention, we will see the shady differences, here, and there, and it will not sit right in our gut, in our heart, mind, spirit, or Soul. You will notice that this false truth lacks integrity.
Energies are strong, pulling at me, and I find tears in my eyes frequently. Like the tides of the sea the water within me is being called.
Boundless … everything seems to be falling apart. I do what I can to prepare, unfortunately I do not know what needs to be done. So I guess, and I plan, and I think constantly what would I do, should I need to take an immediate action.
I am told everything is great. I have a nice place to live, I have a great job, I have no ties really. I can do what I want for the most part. Yet what I want is scoffed at and I am called names that aren’t flattering when I mention it.
I am told my concern is unwarranted.
I wonder, as I always have .. is it just me? Am I the one who does not see clearly? Why is it that once again I am feeling like the black sheep? It is pretty severe, I do not fit in.
Again I am made to feel that somehow I am responsible for the views others have of me, most of them negative. I am told time and again that I need to ‘play the game’ … I have never been any good at that, and I do not see the point of game playing. In fact I find the thought ridiculous and repulsive.
I wait. I hope I am doing necessary things that will be beneficial when the time comes for action.
I want to believe everything will be fine. Oh … I really do. I want so much to believe that all is as it should be and will be bright and sunny some day, without pain and suffering for anyone.
Life has knocked me down so many times, it is hard to have faith in humanity. I see all that is happening and I have doubts as to the goodness of people. I think on my own life history, my own past actions, and I wonder if what I see is why no one sticks around.
Surely there must be goodness in all people, buried deep within their heart and mind and soul. Surely the goodness I believe is within me is there, only forgotten for a time.
I wonder if I am the only one who spins these thoughts in the mind as the weaver does with a fine thread. What will I wind up with when all thoughts have been spun?
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