Surround yourself with people who talk at you, instead of with you. People whose problems always seem worse than yours.
Those that like to hear themselves talk. Who use you as a sounding board. They are always facing something they need to get off their chest.
Surround yourself with people who always have a new pain they need you for. Using your touch, your energy, as a way to reduce their discomfort.
Caretake their needs. They need more help than you do, you rationalize. Therefore you never have too many emotional needs. You never ask for help, for you can see how lonely
Other people are.
Let yourself s*xually and/or emotionally give to them, as a service. It is too hard creating boundaries. You don’t mind just being who people need you to be at all times.
How depressed people stay depressed, is by never getting angry. Always bending over backwards and being flexible.
Choosing loved ones that mimic dad or mom. People who ignore
Who you are.
People that lean too hard on you at all times.
Have an ex lover? Or someone you are interested in? Stay energetically open to connecting with them, even when the relationship is unclear or unhealthy. When it gets in the way of you trusting and deepening with someone else.
Have frequent daily reminders of this relationship around, always taking you out of the present moment. Unconsciously making you hope for or live for the possibility of connecting with them.
Keep photos of the past, the ones who have died to you literally or metaphorically. Do not replace them with photos that reflect what is true today.
Live in a mental graveyard of the dead. Of regret. What happened always making you fear what COULD happen.
Love people who do not really care too much either way. Who encourage your addictions to suffering and loss of self, because they get something out of it. Because you have more focus and energy on them, when you do not treat yourself all that great. They can always get what they want when you don’t honor who you are.
It is easy to be a master at being depressed, especially during the aftermath of continual attack and murders of people of color. We are also facing the numbers of deaths crawling back up from the virus. You must, MUST, be even more diligent on owning your energetic boundaries
Asking for help.
Getting good help.
Being with people who see you, instead of use you as an escape.
Be with people that you cannot escape with because they want to look into your eyes and feel you really looking back.
Do not stay in the cozy prison of your numbness. It will only get worse there. Get help, even if you do not know what to say. Let people love you, by speaking up. Let people see you, by letting yourself be seen.
Depression makes you think no one really cares all that much anyway. So why bother? The truth is the world deeply cares. Especially the moment you decide you are worthy of being cared for.
You are precious even now. Especially now.
To your preciousness.