I think I must be having an issue with being stubborn.
“It” doesn’t feel good. The potential for damage is great, and yet, I still do.
Is it simply because it is suggested I don’t?
Am I settling and adapting to my social environment?
Am I creating excuses?
Not being truthful? With self? With others?
Am I really that stubborn that I would risk personal damage due to … to what?
A force of WILLS?
I am not accustomed to surrender.
Why would I purposefully agitate my own mind?
Do I honestly think I am stretching my capabilities, my tolerances?
Or have I become addicted to chaos, internal, chaotic energies?
Do I like the rush?
Am I addicted to drama?
Am I creating this?
(LOL … of course you are!)
She shakes her head and says to herself, “What am I gonna do with myself?” And sadly, softly, she chuckles.
It is no wonder I feel uncomfortable … right now … geesh …
We must learn to be responsible for our energy.