Do You Remember?

Published December 27, 2019 by tindertender

Written by Mia Allen,

do you remember when you were fourteen and you sang Amazing Grace all by yourself on a stage in an old church⁠⠀

you watched congregation unfold like the bills they placed in the basket ⁠⠀

the old ladies gathered around you after the service to tell you what a bright light you were, and that you’d sung beautifully⁠⠀

you were embarrassed ⁠⠀

but you stole a moment and quietly slipped away to the bathroom ⠀

you looked at yourself in the mirror ⁠slightly smiling, saying Thank You, God, for this life, and giving yourself something to be proud of, for that moment, on that day⁠⠀
that was a really long time ago⁠⠀

and most of those ladies are probably dead⁠⠀

you don’t go to church anymore ⁠⠀

and most of the time the memories that informed your dreams just swirl around in your head ⁠⠀
the placelessness of your experiences makes for a heavy placeless heart ⁠⠀

where do we put our memories⠀

our days when we felt whole ⠀

you wonder and wander til a single beam of light comes pouring through the trees⁠⠀

and you stop ⁠⠀

for a breath and to let it fall over your eyes⁠⠀

you listen to the birds and the wind dance with the leaves⁠⠀

you wonder to yourself if there’s ever been a good time to believe you were worth a damn ⁠⠀

if not then then maybe ⠀
never ⠀

or if not then then maybe ⠀
now ⠀

photo by @_chriseadicicco

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