Someone with noble intent wouldn’t start a relationship by chit chatting about old wounds. (That’s called Trauma bonding). The shadow work, the healing hasn’t occurred, and will bring trouble in the connection.

Stages of Trauma Bonding

The seven stages of trauma bonding are:
1) Love bombing – the sudden, intense attempt to create a “we” in a relationship through high praise and excessive flattery
2) Trust & Dependency
3) Criticism
4) Manipulation & Gaslighting
5) Resignation & Giving up
6) Loss of Self
7) Addiction to the Cycle

Because the love-bombing first stage of trauma bonding is so intense, it quickly leads to the trust and dependency in the second stage. That foundation leads you to begin to agree with the abusive person in just about everything – including the abuser’s reasons for treating you badly. It’s like a type of brainwashing, where you don’t even realize that your beliefs about how you’re being treated are distorted.