New paradigm friendships vs old paradigm friendships

Published November 15, 2022 by tindertender

Written by Kathryn Dworkin

It’s a different experience isn’t it?

When we were sourcing our sense of ourselves thru others perceptions, we felt these obligations to appear a certain way. We held ourselves in the energy of people pleasing to some degree. Being permanently available at the drop of a dime, to those who needed us.

Now, we reserve that commitment to ourselves. We share the overflow, but never to our own detriment. We value our own needs to maintain our energy FIRST. As it should be.

But that old way of being can creep in, can’t it. Those old beliefs that if we aren’t immediately responding to another’s call, we’re somehow not being a good friend.

This is a false belief.

And those who cannot maintain THEIR OWN energy, while waiting for you, have their own healing to address in this respect.

So you could view this little dance, as assisting them w their triggers. Allowing them to face that insecurity, to finally heal it. Whether they dive into that need is their choice.

New paradigm friendships, allow the ebb and flow of time together. The expectations are dropped and they’re appreciated as whatever they are. Whenever they are.

I know in my own experience, there are many people I’ve just had to step away from. For one reason or another. That has not changed my love for them, I’ve simply needed to draw my circle in to some degree. And I allow myself this, without guilt.

When one of these friends who I’ve been on pause w comes forward w a need or an inquiry, I respond at my convenience, w my energetic overflow. Where BEFORE, I was depleting myself to be available to others. I was still failing to understand the way that kind of people pleasing was self detrimental. It was really stemming from my own false understanding of my value.

New paradigm friendships don’t hold this kind of keeping score system. We know we are loved, so nothing needs to be proven. We can appreciate and support one another, without obligation. We can step away when needed, and re-enter in our own timing. Without loss. Without injury.

It’s beautiful.

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