Suffering

All posts in the Suffering category

Recognizing Personal … And Others … Pain

Published June 9, 2018 by tindertender

There is a tendency to push the load, to give it to someone else to carry. Often life’s experiences are so painful the weight cannot be shouldered alone.

When time is taken to look deeply into the emotional life, the pain which is ours, and that which has been given us to carry for another, can be seen clearly.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Although we may think we are helping someone by carrying their load, in reality this only depletes personal ability to utilize energy for that which is wished to be seen in the world.

In truth, unless people are willing to look at their own suffering, come to terms with it, and then work toward healing it, it will not be healed. No matter how much energy we dump into it, or into them.

It is sad, for we want to help those we love. We want to heal them and make them whole. All the while, being so busy with this, we haven’t looked into our own personal stuff to see if there is anything which must be faced, dealt with and worked on for personal healing.

If not careful, too much energy will be spent on that which is outside us, and if not received and results seen, the temptation to become angry or upset happens, for all that we have given may seem to have been wasted, and many times that is the truth of it.

Focus on healing your own wounds. Recognize that which is yours and that which belongs to someone else. It is possible to love someone while putting personal health first. It is crucial, for if we allow ourselves to be depleted, we can do no one any good.

What you may have believed to be your own burden may actually be the load of another you’ve become accustomed to carry.

Gift yourself freedom.
Freedom to love and care for you,
while still loving others.

Capacity to give love, and care, and compassion, are greatly increased when we become healthy.

 

 

Trigger … 

Published May 15, 2018 by tindertender

“Go ahead … do it … no one has the right to judge you, well, almost no one.”
… as they shove a picture of Satan eating the brains of a person in front of you.

Reminding someone of error which occurred decades ago will not heal anyone, or anything. People making these judgments of others never see the details behind their actions, completely lacking compassion & understanding about surrounding circumstances or state of mind.

Past actions cannot ever be changed, yet that does not stop a person from living, from learning, from trying to repay … life, society … whoever, whatever … for the wrong. It does not stop them from learning … perhaps learning what they were never taught before mistakes were made, before realizing the sacredness of all that is.

I think of the boy who lit a forest on fire. I hear the memories of words said by those who rallied for his … and his families … extreme punishment. I think to myself that this young man has potential to be the biggest advocate for the forests in his future … if only someone would teach him the sacredness of the earth, the forests, the life that dwells there. Properly coached, he may develop a passion for protecting and nurturing the growth of the forest and that which depends on it for living. He could come into a fierce passion for creating health in the world. His error in no way seals his fate as a destroyer. Those who attempt to put him in that box for life are criminal.

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Photo by Shelby Miller

The same can be said of other situations. As a young person I smoked. I tossed out the cigarette butts not once thinking of the harm I was doing. I did not know the filters do not deteriorate. I thought the sweeper truck would get them. Today, when walking in the forest or park I make it a point to pick up those that I see. I wish to pick up as many as I threw out, and then some … flipping the scale to the positive.

I used to practice verbal war. I had a tongue so sharp it would leave people stammering not knowing how to respond, speechless. That was angry me. Today, my goal is to be just as kind (and then some) as I was cruel. I truly do not have any desire to harm anyone. Honestly I never did, however being lost in pain and the darkness of anger, it happened.

This does not mean I’ve decided to be a push-over … far from it.

Realizing how much care for the world dwells in the heart after a life of anger and pain is refreshing. The desire to expand this is intense. Yet there will always be those who throw the past in the face and place judgement, stating no good could ever come from one who did harm. They are liars … and they ought not be allowed to make “I AM” statements for anyone other than themselves. If they do … it is only because they feel a sense of superiority over others, and this will lead to trouble for them.

So massage the trigger. Recognize it for what it is. Affirm the statement you, and you alone, make for your future and the contribution you will give. Stand alone if you must, but be true to you and shed that which brings you suffering … in doing so, your imprint of suffering in the world will recede and something more beautiful will begin to grow.

It is far from easy, especially when there are people telling you how horrible they believe you are. Drown out their voices and tell yourself the truth, the truth that only you know … and it is usually never what others plant in your mind. Count the blessings, there are many, none less than the other no matter how small. Make a list in your mind of the things you are grateful for. A shift will happen, and forward progress will become easier … every time.

A Different Kind Of Movement

Published March 9, 2018 by tindertender

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Many people assume the goal is the “rise above” suffering. Busily, they try to do this, struggling daily. So far, we can see pretty well that this doesn’t work.

Some say they are swimming in pain and they simply can’t get out. Well, here’s the deal, a connection to what assists in moving through it must be made.

A swimmer needs to find their fins, so to speak. A ‘walker’ must learn to balance on legs. An emotion surfer, a mover and a shaker, learns to end that perpetual sinking and swim, and walk, and fly through it, finding the other side. A skill like any other, and just as difficult to learn.

Don’t give up if you are thinking to. The traveling method you are learning now beats all else!

The Water Is Deep

Published February 2, 2018 by tindertender

When The Water is Too Deep

She found herself drowning, hard to breathe. It felt as though water had filled her lungs as it poured from her eyes and dripped from her nose. She couldn’t fathom where it was all coming from, she didn’t even care ~ she just wanted it to stop, to dry up.

The whole world sat atop her shoulders and she just could not carry it any longer … it was so heavy, it was crushing her. She crawled along the baseboard of the room, feeling her way to bed, for she could not see anymore.

Curled into a ball she begged for release and none was given. She must learn to rise above this, to surf this ocean of waves. How does one float when fear of water is present, how does one swim when strength was never built?

She takes a deep breath and wills her body to stop leaking, she insists her mind obey when she says Be Still. After a time all is silent, empty, dull and void ~ It is finally quiet.

She resolves herself to pick up the shattered craft that is her intellect, her peace. She will make it through this storm, and she will carry what remains of memory into the unknown, using it to assist her in endurance and patience, she will harness this pain and create compassion from it, for self … and for those who gifted her with it.

Determination grows stronger within her, her will increases … not in stubbornness, but in a sure capability to continue on.

Deep Sorrow

Published November 13, 2017 by tindertender

I lay my head on his shoulder after I give him a visual on how people treat each other, and I sob. I cry out from deep within my heart an all encompassing sorrow, for I see, and tell of, the great disconnect between people in the world. One after the other ‘scams’ to gain while knowing full well it depletes someone else. This life is not about simply living,  but how great we live. Doing well while others suffer is not greatness, it is the most heartbreaking cause of grief … watching people destroy one another, seeing the lack of care.

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Shadow Vermin

Published October 23, 2017 by tindertender

There are those who harm the ones calling forth the light. Holistic practitioners, judges, whistle blowers, all who will not stand for law breaking and who cannot be bought off. Women (and men) who refuse to bend to the will of a tyrant, children who refuse to allow their inner light be stripped from them, no matter the brutality bestowed upon their being, are harmed, even killed, daily.

Yes, the ones in the shadows believe that by stepping up their cruelty they will be able to get those living in love, with great integrity inside them, to shrink.

Oh, how wrong they are.

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Global Watch & American Civil Liberties

Published October 21, 2017 by tindertender

https://wakeup-world.com/category/contributing-writers/dane-wigington/

https://www.aclu.org/news/texas-city-tells-people-no-hurricane-harvey-aid-unless-they-promise-not-boycott-israel

“The city of Dickinson, Texas, is requiring applicants for Hurricane Harvey rebuilding funds to certify in writing that they will not take part in a boycott of Israel. The American Civil Liberties Union criticized the city’s condition as a violation of free speech rights.”

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