Suffering

All posts in the Suffering category

Good Little Slave

Published October 11, 2018 by tindertender

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He captured her when she was quite young. Through the years she watched as he raped life and spirit with his hooks. He would get inside them and tear open their insides, killing them, spiritually, physically. He would leave them lying there, all bloodied and battered as a reminder to her of what he could do to her even, should he want to.

She cooked for him, she cleaned and sewed. She entertained the guests he brought home and watched as time, and time again, he ruined their lives. She cleaned up the mess, every time.

He let her have a pet. She walked this pet and took it off lead, wanting it to be free. But then she watched as it was chased around the wooded area and caught, and killed. She was under the impression that even if free, she would be chased, and then killed.

She botched a ‘clean up’ and the authorities came and questioned her. She decided she would take the blame for the atrocity they uncovered. Should they arrest her, she would finally be free of the one who had enslaved her. She was jailed and questioned, but it soon became obvious it was not her that did the crime.

They went for the male who had actually been ‘hooking’ the people and ending their lives. He was furious, but at this point there wasn’t anything he could do to her, even through all his threats.

She revisited the fabric store where she used to buy supplies. They had heard of the investigation and arrests, and began to question her about her life, the life they had never before thought anything of as she was always so quiet, pleasant, and seemed like ‘a good girl’.

She showed them all of the coupons she had saved to remind her of every outing that she had been able to make during the years, to remind her of those moments of freedom, away from her ‘owner’. She told them that the only time she could get a few moments of this freedom was when she came here to shop for supplies. They could not believe that they had been so blind, for all those years.

Today, she warns others of this ‘hooked one’ for he is destined to be released one day. She does not want others to fall prey to his deceit. So few believe her, yet she continues to tell the story, even while ridiculed, and called a liar, told she only wants attention.

She knows full well the dangers ahead. She will not stay to try and fight for them, they will need to fight for themselves … at least, this is her present mind-set. She IS one of the few who knew him and survived though, so perhaps she will be able to use this knowledge of him to assist other life, when the time comes … should she choose.

(Although this sounds like a dream, it is very real and happening all around us, in the etheric body and astral realms. Women and men are being ‘hooked’ and manipulated to cause abusive events in this world, and taking the blame for these atrocities as if they were of their own imaginings and hearts. There are many in this world who are willing followers of this ‘hooked one’ for they believe the promises of attaining ‘power’ over life, and then there are others behaving out of a place of fear, and of punishment, feeling helpless and powerless. But they are cunning, they have been born with every intelligence needed to overcome this manipulator. They will succeed.)

Fragmented Soul

Published August 22, 2018 by tindertender
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Photo by Ahmad Odeh

War ~
Some are very good at it, and while they fight, the other half of them – dies.

Dedicating LIFE to make WAR is nonsensical. Our men (and women) who decide to do this, fighting in conflicts which have no bearing or threat to their own country, is insane. They give up their opportunity for peace, and they take opportunity for peace from others … on orders from men who would never put themselves in these positions. Of course there are life-long members of this game they play, they got into it and discovered they enjoy the chaos, probably because they cannot stand to be alone with themselves and their thoughts of what they’ve become. And if they DO like what they’ve become … they are lost.

Someone once told me to stay away from those who serve more than one term. They said ‘once and done’ … but if people stay longer than that, it means they enjoy killing and ought to be forgotten, steered wide of.

I have no doubt that innocence when enlisting is crushed. What comes out of that, what the ‘powers that be’ hope to create, is a killing machine – that’s their goal, to keep needless war going.

The fragmented soul has no power to create peace … within themselves or anywhere else, for peace begins in the mind. Those intent on destruction have not this capacity. There are the strong few who turn about and, with great effort, flip the poles of who they are and what they do, and it takes constant effort to undo the damage done. The slightest trigger can flip them right back to where they were, in destroy mode.

See, governments have no desire for people to be at peace. It’s always a war on this and a war on that … never is it about peace. Sure, they might call it a ‘peace mission’, failing to see that bringing chaos to any situation will never result in the ‘peace’ they speak of.

I pray for you, fragmented soul. I pray that you will have the strength and courage to leave behind what you’ve been told to believe, and the stamina to create a new reality for yourself, one which includes the contribution of soothing the pain and the suffering being birthed in this world. My hope is that you find your way out of the chaotic darkness that was handed you, and enmeshed in your psyche.

May healing and rebirth come to all in the world.
May sorrow become joy,
And may chaos become peace.
Let Balance Be.

Recognizing Personal … And Others … Pain

Published June 9, 2018 by tindertender

There is a tendency to push the load, to give it to someone else to carry. Often life’s experiences are so painful the weight cannot be shouldered alone.

When time is taken to look deeply into the emotional life, the pain which is ours, and that which has been given us to carry for another, can be seen clearly.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Although we may think we are helping someone by carrying their load, in reality this only depletes personal ability to utilize energy for that which is wished to be seen in the world.

In truth, unless people are willing to look at their own suffering, come to terms with it, and then work toward healing it, it will not be healed. No matter how much energy we dump into it, or into them.

It is sad, for we want to help those we love. We want to heal them and make them whole. All the while, being so busy with this, we haven’t looked into our own personal stuff to see if there is anything which must be faced, dealt with and worked on for personal healing.

If not careful, too much energy will be spent on that which is outside us, and if not received and results seen, the temptation to become angry or upset happens, for all that we have given may seem to have been wasted, and many times that is the truth of it.

Focus on healing your own wounds. Recognize that which is yours and that which belongs to someone else. It is possible to love someone while putting personal health first. It is crucial, for if we allow ourselves to be depleted, we can do no one any good.

What you may have believed to be your own burden may actually be the load of another you’ve become accustomed to carry.

Gift yourself freedom.
Freedom to love and care for you,
while still loving others.

Capacity to give love, and care, and compassion, are greatly increased when we become healthy.

 

 

Trigger … 

Published May 15, 2018 by tindertender

“Go ahead … do it … no one has the right to judge you, well, almost no one.”
… as they shove a picture of Satan eating the brains of a person in front of you.

Reminding someone of error which occurred decades ago will not heal anyone, or anything. People making these judgments of others never see the details behind their actions, completely lacking compassion & understanding about surrounding circumstances or state of mind.

Past actions cannot ever be changed, yet that does not stop a person from living, from learning, from trying to repay … life, society … whoever, whatever … for the wrong. It does not stop them from learning … perhaps learning what they were never taught before mistakes were made, before realizing the sacredness of all that is.

I think of the boy who lit a forest on fire. I hear the memories of words said by those who rallied for his … and his families … extreme punishment. I think to myself that this young man has potential to be the biggest advocate for the forests in his future … if only someone would teach him the sacredness of the earth, the forests, the life that dwells there. Properly coached, he may develop a passion for protecting and nurturing the growth of the forest and that which depends on it for living. He could come into a fierce passion for creating health in the world. His error in no way seals his fate as a destroyer. Those who attempt to put him in that box for life are criminal.

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Photo by Shelby Miller

The same can be said of other situations. As a young person I smoked. I tossed out the cigarette butts not once thinking of the harm I was doing. I did not know the filters do not deteriorate. I thought the sweeper truck would get them. Today, when walking in the forest or park I make it a point to pick up those that I see. I wish to pick up as many as I threw out, and then some … flipping the scale to the positive.

I used to practice verbal war. I had a tongue so sharp it would leave people stammering not knowing how to respond, speechless. That was angry me. Today, my goal is to be just as kind (and then some) as I was cruel. I truly do not have any desire to harm anyone. Honestly I never did, however being lost in pain and the darkness of anger, it happened.

This does not mean I’ve decided to be a push-over … far from it.

Realizing how much care for the world dwells in the heart after a life of anger and pain is refreshing. The desire to expand this is intense. Yet there will always be those who throw the past in the face and place judgement, stating no good could ever come from one who did harm. They are liars … and they ought not be allowed to make “I AM” statements for anyone other than themselves. If they do … it is only because they feel a sense of superiority over others, and this will lead to trouble for them.

So massage the trigger. Recognize it for what it is. Affirm the statement you, and you alone, make for your future and the contribution you will give. Stand alone if you must, but be true to you and shed that which brings you suffering … in doing so, your imprint of suffering in the world will recede and something more beautiful will begin to grow.

It is far from easy, especially when there are people telling you how horrible they believe you are. Drown out their voices and tell yourself the truth, the truth that only you know … and it is usually never what others plant in your mind. Count the blessings, there are many, none less than the other no matter how small. Make a list in your mind of the things you are grateful for. A shift will happen, and forward progress will become easier … every time.

A Different Kind Of Movement

Published March 9, 2018 by tindertender

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Many people assume the goal is the “rise above” suffering. Busily, they try to do this, struggling daily. So far, we can see pretty well that this doesn’t work.

Some say they are swimming in pain and they simply can’t get out. Well, here’s the deal, a connection to what assists in moving through it must be made.

A swimmer needs to find their fins, so to speak. A ‘walker’ must learn to balance on legs. An emotion surfer, a mover and a shaker, learns to end that perpetual sinking and swim, and walk, and fly through it, finding the other side. A skill like any other, and just as difficult to learn.

Don’t give up if you are thinking to. The traveling method you are learning now beats all else!

The Water Is Deep

Published February 2, 2018 by tindertender

When The Water is Too Deep

She found herself drowning, hard to breathe. It felt as though water had filled her lungs as it poured from her eyes and dripped from her nose. She couldn’t fathom where it was all coming from, she didn’t even care ~ she just wanted it to stop, to dry up.

The whole world sat atop her shoulders and she just could not carry it any longer … it was so heavy, it was crushing her. She crawled along the baseboard of the room, feeling her way to bed, for she could not see anymore.

Curled into a ball she begged for release and none was given. She must learn to rise above this, to surf this ocean of waves. How does one float when fear of water is present, how does one swim when strength was never built?

She takes a deep breath and wills her body to stop leaking, she insists her mind obey when she says Be Still. After a time all is silent, empty, dull and void ~ It is finally quiet.

She resolves herself to pick up the shattered craft that is her intellect, her peace. She will make it through this storm, and she will carry what remains of memory into the unknown, using it to assist her in endurance and patience, she will harness this pain and create compassion from it, for self … and for those who gifted her with it.

Determination grows stronger within her, her will increases … not in stubbornness, but in a sure capability to continue on.

Deep Sorrow

Published November 13, 2017 by tindertender

I lay my head on his shoulder after I give him a visual on how people treat each other, and I sob. I cry out from deep within my heart an all encompassing sorrow, for I see, and tell of, the great disconnect between people in the world. One after the other ‘scams’ to gain while knowing full well it depletes someone else. This life is not about simply living,  but how great we live. Doing well while others suffer is not greatness, it is the most heartbreaking cause of grief … watching people destroy one another, seeing the lack of care.

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