All posts in the Shadow category

Shadow Dance

Published June 21, 2018 by tindertender
Photo by Gerald Berliner

Amid the shadows they lined the street as I moved along. The senses come alive when the vision is halted, the previously unknown appears. Some describe them as slithering and lurking, when in fact they are simply be-ing, the only way they can. I wonder if they see us the same, slithering and lurking in the ethers they cannot fully join.

The vibration is increasing. Inside the intensity is building, this energy contained is shifting and growing, reaching for the outside of my flesh. Will what I am at the core burst forth into the world as a new form?

Surely I am not alone in this, there are many others who sense it too. No one need teach of it, for it is there, has been all along. All it takes to know it is silent observation, attention given to the subtle energies which play on the skin, moving over and below it’s surface, pounding away on the inside, seeking a path of release.

Release … is it really? Or is it only a transformation into something greater, something free of the boundaries given at birth? Something no longer hindered by the man-made regulations imposed during time?

Time … someone said nothing is wrong, even a stopped clock is right twice a day. But is it? If time is an illusion, perhaps the rightness of this stopped clock is also an illusion, within the illusion that time is real.

Setting aside these thoughts I rise, I stretch and feel the flow of juices up the spine. The heat it creates moves through my body, my mind. And so the day begins.

Do Not Be Afraid

Published December 27, 2017 by tindertender

Don’t be afraid to go where you’ve never gone and do what you’ve never done, because both are necessary to have what you’ve never had and be who you’ve never been.

Be the ball, 
The Universe


This is the United States at night, seen from space. This is what the eyes see when they look into the earth from here, seeing the man made light which shines the way for those voyaging around.

See them with a new mind-set. See them energetically. This is the night-time prayer of those who set clear intention for good and for peace in this world. This is what it looks like, day and night. Many people are working very hard to promote balance. Unified, focus and intention as one, this will be possible.

So what is the unified intention? Where should this powerful force be directed? How do all people come into the same pin-pointed flow? Does it need to be a pin-pointed flow, or can it be as a gathering of powerful lighting bolts instead? A storm like no other, which will show, and then eliminate shadow, and what lurks there.

Perhaps this is happening already. We are seeing many evil deeds come to light, although there are many reports telling us what we are viewing is false. A protective shield is being attempted, for those who participate in harmful behaviors to hide behind.

Every human has these two capacities available to them, choice is, and always has, been ours. Do you prefer shadows and hiding, or do you prefer to roust out the dangers which dwell there?

A World Inside Out

Published December 25, 2017 by tindertender

Those speaking truth portrayed as having lost their mind, those who lie, portrayed as truth tellers who care. This twisted world has lost the capacity to discern right from wrong. 

shadows and light

Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.
~ This verse continues the metaphor of a person with a plank in their own eye who criticizes someone for a speck in their own eye.
~ A fault observed in another person by a person who ignores a greater fault of his or her own.

Perhaps there is no hope … or perhaps this is only a weak moment, where faith in goodness waivers.

Shadow Vermin

Published October 23, 2017 by tindertender

There are those who harm the ones calling forth the light. Holistic practitioners, judges, whistle blowers, all who will not stand for law breaking and who cannot be bought off. Women (and men) who refuse to bend to the will of a tyrant, children who refuse to allow their inner light be stripped from them, no matter the brutality bestowed upon their being, are harmed, even killed, daily.

Yes, the ones in the shadows believe that by stepping up their cruelty they will be able to get those living in love, with great integrity inside them, to shrink.

Oh, how wrong they are.



Published October 21, 2017 by tindertender

Bird with key

Yesterday I got a message from someone
who told me they were raped at 7
And a woman who found out her husband
had another family
I got a message from a girl who said
her brother had touched her for 14 years
And a mother who confessed
she had beaten her daughter regularly
when she was just a baby

Tuesday I woke up to a photo
of someone’s severely undernourished body
asking me if she had to eat today
And my Instagram inbox was flooded
with excruciating pictures
of sliced up arms and inner thighs
and pleas dripping in agony
and unanswerable questions like
“why me, I can’t stop hurting”

People are in suffering
a lot
It blows me away
what we humans endure

What we face in our day to days
is often unspeakable
and so we push things deep

The challenge is
sometimes we forget
where we put things

Sometimes we forget
we got hurt
and didn’t feel

So in the busy
when something gets hit
when we get triggered
and we go down
we are not clear
how one little thing
can feel like the world is ending

I have been playing with this lately

When I get upset
I tend to quickly,
often carelessly
assume why

I will look around me
and assign something
or someone
to that feeling

This makes me feel better
at least temporarily
because, I think,
“now I know!”
But it’s often not accurate
And it certainly creates separation
when I am constantly
making everything
about something outside of me

It justifies itself
and then conveniently
I don’t have to look at myself
I don’t have to dig deep
all I have to do
is fix the thing outside of me

But that hasn’t been working
not lately
And I think it’s mostly because
it’s me
just me
that’s freaking

And while yes, things are triggering me
the work isn’t so much
about changing everything around me
but looking at
what keeps getting hit
in me

Hard things happen
to most of us
at some point

We get wounded
And then we get to choose…

Do we spend a lifetime
wondering “why me”
feeling pity
Or do we learn to be okay
and again

It feels as simple
and challenging as that

I am pretty sure
there is no gray zone here
there is no “kinda trying”

Healing takes commitment,
time and energy
And you either choose to see it through
Or you spend your life trying to manage
the world around you
so you know you will be okay
constantly fearing
the next shoe to drop
the next hand to slip
the next fracture
that will only confirm
what you are starting to believe is true…
There is no one as messed up
as you

If we all were actually open and honest
I think we would be shocked by
what is really going on
for most people
on the inside

I am lucky
I get access
a lot more than most

People share their deepest
darkest, tenderest secrets with me

I am moved
by what I see, hear, read

And it reminds me
over and over and over again
that we all have
our silent sorrows

And it reinvigorates me
to do my work
to do the work to be
to be
with more
more easily

Because my rope
got frayed badly
these last few years
So even the slightest weight
or pull
has me questioning
if I can make it through
or if this time
my rope will break in two

And I am pretty sure
that all my bracing
isn’t helping

I have been noticing
how much I find myself
literally bracing often
My jaw instinctively clenched
my hands trembling slightly
my mind racing
searching for any indication
this isn’t going to be okay
that I am not going to be okay

And the worst part is
I know this isn’t effective
We will always find evidence
for what we focus on

Healing, I find, is a balance
A balance
between trusting
and listening

I think my fear has been
that if I am not careful
I will keep repeating
the same missteps
I will keep choosing
things that deeply hurt me
I will keep being disappointed
in me

And I genuinely feel
that I am touching tired
in a way that has me feeling
significantly less resiliency

So I get it…
I get why we get paralyzed
and freeze
I understand why we aren’t sure
if we want to try again

But I also see
nothing but suffering
when we decide
there is no hope for me

So while I cannot tell you
why something happened to you

And while you cannot go back in time
and change anything
You can choose
today and everyday
to never let
or anything

You my friend
get to choose
Be un-reducible

❤️ Emily Joy Rosen

#couragemylove #justwakingup #healinghearts #secretkeepers

[o] Painting by: Christian Schloe

Ties That Bind

Published March 4, 2017 by tindertender

Energy. We all have it and we all have experienced its flow. Sometimes we project it, and at other times it is projected at us … for instance if someone is angry and they lash out at us, we know how awful it can feel. This lashing out does not even have to happen in the same room we are in, the same building, or even the same state or country, we feel it just the same.

emotionalcordsThoughts have no respect for boundaries. If someone is having a negative ~ or a positive ~ thought, it goes into “space” just the same, and with “intention” it travels to the target. The one sending these thoughts may not be aware they are doing so, they may believe that this is a private moment, however many of us are very capable of picking up on this.

In the western world this ability to feel is often called anxiety. I am amazed at the way our intuition and sensitivity is attacked, some trying to convince us it simply is a physical experience. However, when out of the blue we get butterflies in our belly it is a sure sign someone is knowingly, or unknowingly, attaching to us. I am also surprised that there are so many who refuse to even consider this fact, and will actually go as far to ridicule  the one experiencing it.

It’s a double whammy.

Lack of proper support can leave one feeling secluded, in an energetic twilight zone. The truth is, we are all in this reality together. Some recognize it, others do not, and have no desire to even try. This leaves the “feelers” on their own … in the world, yet not really of it, at least not the same as most.

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