Compassion

All posts in the Compassion category

Giving & Receiving ~ Can Be SO HARD

Published June 27, 2018 by tindertender
emily-goodhart-527188-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Emily Goodhart

Abundance calls for giving, and that is what I did. I brought gifts for her, and him … I was told to be careful, or his wife would get jealous … I looked at her and gave her smile and a hug and asked that she not do that.

I remember the days when this would would happen to me … I would be suspicious of people when they were ‘too nice’. And so when I heard this it made me sad, for when people cannot accept genuine care without hooks or need of return, then the world becomes a sad and lonely place, suspicious of everyone and everything … essentially, what you see today.

I understand what is happening for I’ve worn the shoes of both aspects. I’ve been jealous, and yet I long to give, no strings attached. Jealousy usually comes from insecurity, in having the need for love, and not exactly trusting in that love.

When someone comes along with gifts and a smile, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than you’ve finally met someone who wishes to share and make life a little better. Someone who, by their actions, wishes to assist in the improvement of life in the whole of the world.

It can be difficult to trust when there has been so much hurt given. Shutting out kindness not only shuts out possibility for more hurt, but it closes the door to friendship, to care, to the ‘lifting’ of each other.

We must shed past habits of defense, to embrace sharing and caring, giving of ourselves to each other without strings … it’s the only way to heal.

Not everything is an attempt at theft … often, it is only an attempt of giving … receiving can be so hard.

“Humans are addicted to the illusion of separation. We fall for it constantly. We must protect ourselves from harm, but we are not separate from the fate of others. We are bound, relentlessly so, to one another. Harm to one is harm to the whole.”

Trigger … 

Published May 15, 2018 by tindertender

“Go ahead … do it … no one has the right to judge you, well, almost no one.”
… as they shove a picture of Satan eating the brains of a person in front of you.

Reminding someone of error which occurred decades ago will not heal anyone, or anything. People making these judgments of others never see the details behind their actions, completely lacking compassion & understanding about surrounding circumstances or state of mind.

Past actions cannot ever be changed, yet that does not stop a person from living, from learning, from trying to repay … life, society … whoever, whatever … for the wrong. It does not stop them from learning … perhaps learning what they were never taught before mistakes were made, before realizing the sacredness of all that is.

I think of the boy who lit a forest on fire. I hear the memories of words said by those who rallied for his … and his families … extreme punishment. I think to myself that this young man has potential to be the biggest advocate for the forests in his future … if only someone would teach him the sacredness of the earth, the forests, the life that dwells there. Properly coached, he may develop a passion for protecting and nurturing the growth of the forest and that which depends on it for living. He could come into a fierce passion for creating health in the world. His error in no way seals his fate as a destroyer. Those who attempt to put him in that box for life are criminal.

shelby-miller-653562-unsplash
Photo by Shelby Miller

The same can be said of other situations. As a young person I smoked. I tossed out the cigarette butts not once thinking of the harm I was doing. I did not know the filters do not deteriorate. I thought the sweeper truck would get them. Today, when walking in the forest or park I make it a point to pick up those that I see. I wish to pick up as many as I threw out, and then some … flipping the scale to the positive.

I used to practice verbal war. I had a tongue so sharp it would leave people stammering not knowing how to respond, speechless. That was angry me. Today, my goal is to be just as kind (and then some) as I was cruel. I truly do not have any desire to harm anyone. Honestly I never did, however being lost in pain and the darkness of anger, it happened.

This does not mean I’ve decided to be a push-over … far from it.

Realizing how much care for the world dwells in the heart after a life of anger and pain is refreshing. The desire to expand this is intense. Yet there will always be those who throw the past in the face and place judgement, stating no good could ever come from one who did harm. They are liars … and they ought not be allowed to make “I AM” statements for anyone other than themselves. If they do … it is only because they feel a sense of superiority over others, and this will lead to trouble for them.

So massage the trigger. Recognize it for what it is. Affirm the statement you, and you alone, make for your future and the contribution you will give. Stand alone if you must, but be true to you and shed that which brings you suffering … in doing so, your imprint of suffering in the world will recede and something more beautiful will begin to grow.

It is far from easy, especially when there are people telling you how horrible they believe you are. Drown out their voices and tell yourself the truth, the truth that only you know … and it is usually never what others plant in your mind. Count the blessings, there are many, none less than the other no matter how small. Make a list in your mind of the things you are grateful for. A shift will happen, and forward progress will become easier … every time.

Reflections

Published February 4, 2018 by tindertender

A lovely day can turn into a nightmare very quickly. Doing the same old things and expecting a different outcome is the REAL craziness in the world. Having a different reality than others is not what some deem to be ‘crazy’ … no.

Old habits which caused much trouble, tossed to the curb long ago … picked up again, if only for a moment, bring a shocking awareness of stupidity … or better said, misdirected will.

Photography

The will of humanity is quite strong. Some are determined to be angry, some are determined to heal wounds which cause them anger. Some are determined to remain surface, not dwelling too deep. Some try to bury emotion with substances. Some give up on love, while others ponder the reflection received. It is difficult to own responsibility for action, yet reflection will give it to us, every time.

It is tempting to not really give a care for what others think or feel, yet if it is wished that they consider ones personal thoughts and feelings, that one must be willing do the same.

I have lived in my own little world for my whole life, just as every one reading this has as well. This ‘house’ we call a body and mind allows a separation, so our inner thoughts can be worked on without disrupting the whole … but many choose not to do this, they instead create chaos wherever they go.

Life is a gift, and we can present ‘gifts’ to our fellow human beings, or we can bring them destruction. Hurt feelings and anger have been given far to much pull when it comes to actions in this world. There’s only one who can make it right … and that is the one each and every one of us sees when we look in the mirror.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
     ~ Cicero

Kindness vs Greed

Published October 26, 2017 by tindertender

Intestinal crampsAs I sat there in pain, pale as I’ve never seen myself, one says, “Lift your feet, lean back, just sit there for awhile,” while another says, “Are you okay, are you on the clock?

I think on this event as I sit here drinking my morning coffee. The first, is a hard worker, intense and studious to task, she works the land she dwells on and states it is not easy owning property, it requires a lot of hard work, and yet she comes in daily to earn her pay as well. The second, I am told does not really need the money or this job, she comes in as a favor to the owner. While quite nice, (I had believed her to be one of the nicest), yesterdays statement/question leaves me pondering her heart.

Thinking of ‘money’ before the ‘well-being’ of our fellow mates is an awful thing to wear in the heart. Imagine a soul whos only care is what is given, not considering for a moment what is received.

I clock out, every day, and continue to work while I eat my lunch. It has always been this way, I am dedicated to getting the work out in as little time as possible and do not mind giving a little, every day, to see that this happens. It is apparent that my gift of time is not noticed, or seemingly taken into account on this one occasion when I am hit with a surprise, intestinal malady. Twenty minutes is what it took for me to be able to move, the sweating subsided and color returned to face, no longer feeling as though I might pass out.

Actions Speaking TruthIt is these little things which tell the hearts of humanity. The subtle things which can be explained and justified. I am certain the second feels no shame in thinking of money before my health, if she even thinks of the situation at all.

Today, as she walks in cheerily saying good morning, I will return the greeting, yet I know now a little more than before of the inner workings of this one in particulars heart, and it is not something I would choose as friend.

Be observant, notice these things. As you remain cordial, even friendly, beware the hearts that only take, and do not give.

The Heart Speaks

Published October 18, 2017 by tindertender

“Seeking love keeps you from the awareness that you already have it – that you are it.”
~ Byron Katie

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“An authentically empowered person is one who is so strong, so empowered, that the idea of using force against another is not a part of his or her consciousness.”
~ Gary Zukav

Wildlife And The Coming Winter

Published September 4, 2017 by tindertender

As fires rage across the lands, as waters overflow onto other portions, let us not forget the animals who are now homeless, whos food supplies have been, and are being, destroyed.

While we assist each other in the best ways we know how, we must also consider the welfare of our beloved wildlife, having compassion for them while they forage for whatever they can fill their bellies with this winter.

My hope is that the answer to their needs will not be to kill them. Compassion need be shared with all life during these times.

Morphing Thought

Published June 16, 2017 by tindertender

Snap, pop … ever hear and feel that when you move? It is a blessing to experience this … it is a statement of living, and proof that life IS still.

It can be easy to spin on the discomfort or pain, and then it becomes even easier to fall into victim-hood … the woe is me point of view. This can morph into bitterness, “Why isn’t this happening to so and so? I’m not as careless” … or whatever one may find themselves saying.

Inner GardenPracticing a grateful response to all of lifes experiences eases the possibility of negatives growing and becoming fertile. It really is true that what ever is watered in our gardens of thought will flourish.

Many of us have experienced moments in life where we find ourselves saying, “I should be dead. How did I survive that?” and yet, we did. And we are still here … there is opportunity to prove that life can be more, get better and shinier … all it requires is effort.

True wealth is not about money or things … it is about the inner garden. What is growing there? How many can this inner stuff feed? What do we have to offer? Here is were sharing comes in.

Inner Garden_1Many of us start out looking to others, or to things, or to title and wage or some other privilege bestowed upon us by someone else. If we are fortunate, we live … and we begin to notice that none of that matters. We understand that no one has more authority over our life than our self. In this scenario, we make choices, moment by moment, we learn, we grow.

Some people want others to believe they cannot function without being told what to do and when to do it. They pay a wage, and then they expect they are owed something in return. In a good system, it is a conscious agreement that is entered of give and receive ~ or give and give, an agreement that can be altered or canceled at any time by either party.

It is all good in freedom ~ when we honor each other.

Without honor, integrity, morals and care, none of it matters. None of it. For love will never grow there, and without love ~ everything is worthless, there is no point of anything, and slavery remains.

 

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