Relaxed, I am ready for the day. It is still quite early as I sit here to record a few thoughts.
It perplexes me how some refuse to assist each other, and others say, “At least we can try”. I do not know what creates such a mind set, and am certain I’ve had both at some time and another. Hopefully I’m wearing the “At least we can try” these days.
The heart of today’s issue seems to be New Beginnings, which is great and exactly what I work toward, as I’m certain many others are … and the Universe is conspiring with us to make it happen.
Sometimes it is hard to let go of what no longer serves us and to understand that the old must symbolically die before something new blossoms. Resistance to change hinders the start of fresh cycles. Shed the old, make room for the new.
Self love can be a challenge, especially after decades of being told we ought to be ashamed of who we are, or how we’ve responded and acted to situations that have accumulated in life.
Meditate on these things which inhibit your ability for self-acceptance. Think on these things deeply … then wash your hands in a bowl of salted water and say,
“I wash away all doubt. I wash away all that does not serve me. I wash away the lack of love I have for myself.”
Now close your eyes and think of a time that you felt positively about yourself, feel the self-esteem as it bubbles up inside of you. Remember this, and carry it with you.
Allow what you no longer need to be destroyed, or reduced. Build your emotional authenticity and know that you are protected when expressing your true emotions in appropriate ways.
We aren’t always taught how to healthily deal with sadness, anger, depression, or even jealousy, but they aren’t strange or unnatural emotions. Everyone feels them at some time or other. How we express these energies makes the difference in our lives, and the lives our life touches. Express them in a healthy way, release them and move on. Surrender these ‘stuck’ things you no longer wish to posses.
Great Goddess, your breath like fire, your eyes golden in the sun, I am grateful for your attention.
There is a need for a balancing of ‘power’ … in body and mind, in relationships, in governments, and in this world. Should you experience, or see someone suffering, speak out …
When there are no lights but for the candles, the moon, the stars, and my own light within this body and mind, expressing itself into this world … it is SO good!
I snap my fingers and tell my dog to come sit by me. He looks at me like, “Ya, what?” and I snap them again, giving the command to come sit by me. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. I made a “claw” with my hand and said, “Grrrr” and he responded, “Grrrr” and hopped on me, going left, to the spot. I covered him up and laughed and said, ” You don’t like being told what to do, do you? Even tho I know you love this spot.” He now rests comfortably and I think, “We’re really not all that different, he and I”.
I chose to sit here tonight with you, again, rather than attend a meeting with new acquaintances. What does this say to you? What does this say to me?
I’ve always said that mental abuse is worse than physical abuse. After all, bruises heal and bones actually re-fuse to each other when broken, but mental … well, when emotions are torn asunder and the mind has been warped by an abuser, things don’t always go back together as cleanly as bones. In fact, the emotional body may never fully “heal”.
So why am I here and not there? Perhaps I’ve become accustomed to it. Perhaps life seems a little “off” without you at this point.
At least there appears to be some sort of purpose. What it is, I’ve yet to find out.
What are you if not a villain, or a super-hero? I would say protector, or protectress. Of what? That is yet to be seen.
Why is it that some people always latch on and abuse those who do not wish to fight? If they like fighting so much why don’t they choose to fight with another who likes it equally well? Probably because they know, or fear, they will lose, and that makes them them feel crappy about themselves … that … and not the fact they are tormenting an innocent. They hurt others because of their own lack and shame in the guise of being tough men, or women.
Right is Light; Left is Bereft:Left wishes to ‘own’ from behind the curtain of deceit, wishes harm. Right is about discipline. How many levels do you think there is for these?
I’m just about at the end of my rope, but I’ll keep on tryin’, I cannot give up hope.
“Control where your attention goes. The left is well known by now. Let them be. Send your attention to the right … Observe without judgement … Watch. This could be ‘people’, or ‘spirit’. Often our attention is commanded by others. Commotion, chaos … Always these circumstances or conversations pull our attention to it. Focusing on purposeful placement of this attention isn’t always easy. Those who practice meditation can tell you this. Although focus may wander, pull it back and re-place it on what you intend to study, or watch, or listen to.”
In the Wild West and other periods of time, when people disagreed they would simply challenge each other to a duel to settle things. It doesn’t look like we’ve ever been able to get away from that mentality. It just costs more now … in time AND money. (Prisons, foods, medical care, etc.)
In life we are constantly receiving things we don’t really want, and often we do not ever receive the things we do want. Sometimes we are told we simply didn’t want it bad enough, or need to learn the art of manifestation … partially true by the way.
Climbing from the pits our familial lines may have fallen in to is a challenge. Lineage designation is a yoke which can be difficult to bear, and is quite frustrating for many. So many of us shout, “This is not the reality I signed up for!” to which I say, “THIS is precisely what you signed up for … the change, the shift has to come from somewhere, from someone, and that someone is YOU.” (Of course, sometimes heritage is something so beautiful one fights in order to keep it).
Innocence is betrayed, over and over again. Through the years people often say, “My hands are tied” or they facilitate further damage … so the wounded child grows and wound after wound accumulates, and they are constantly trying to heal … applying band-aid after band-aid, attempting to keep the wounds from festering. Many choose anti-depressants or other drugs, or they turn to alcohol … anything to numb the pain, and it grows, and festers because soon they simply stop caring at all. When rock-bottom comes and they think they will die, they either do, or they begin a slow journey toward healing, never knowing if they are doing it right … and it hurts, and it gets so hard, yet they continue trying because they’ve realized they really do love life.
After all that, these warriors still have love in their hearts … surprisingly, this love may be at the highest levels once they exit the shit storm. They find there are others who are drawn to them … they sense their healing, even if they do not know of it. When the battle is thought to be won, it is only a beginning. Even when they want nothing more than to sit back in peace and in quiet, it cannot be had … not at all times anyhow, sometimes it seems never again.
They try to determine what existence is, what it means, and find out there is no definitive answer. Variables are different and constantly shifting. Even when variables remain the same, they differ in percentages making up the experience and at any given moment, reality is altered … although from the outside it may appear to be the same.
Who knew life could be so brutal? Sometimes what is thought to be good is actually damaging, and what is thought to be damaging is actually beneficial. It’s all in the present time perspective.
Can one ever calm chaos? My mind says, “Doubtful” and yet in this same mind I see proof of it, periodically, haha. Or is it that one type of chaos is simply replaced by another? Is it possible to live without chaos of any kind? I don’t believe so, for in chaos things chip away, break down, allowing for a sort of rebirth into the new.
Is expansion something humanity ought to be seeking? Is this seeking that which is making humanity so sick, under the guise of something else? Well, I do not know, but personally, previous chaotic situations were not during a seeking of expansion, so maybe chaos simply IS … in many ways, just as there are multiple ways of feeling joy or love.
The question remains, is chaos really necessary?
I should make it easy on myself, I know it is attainable in a couple different ways. What am I trying to be strong for, or trying to stretch my capacity for, holding measure? Why don’t I just shrink? Close off all things and just shrink … Why? Because my whole life I’ve known, “I Am Larger Than Life!” With that, I practice being grateful. Fear, anger, shrinking … not really my gig, done with that.
To remain centered and whole is the goal. Make it easy on yourself and do not do what you once did. Walk away from that which hurts.
Getting stuck in chaotic situations or patterns happens to us all. Upon death, if you are in a chaotic pattern, what do you think happens? Speculations abound … many say they know … but do they, or is it merely opinion and perception? Perhaps you’ll find yourself in a dark and dingy bar scene, or otherwise. Where are you spending your time currently?
Look at your life. If you were to die right now do you think patterns would all of a sudden end, or change? Addictions, victim-hood, warlike behaviors, selfishness, greed … these behaviors don’t just stop, not if they reside deeply in your heart. This is my take on it anyhow.
It is better to take a good look and clean the inner house now, while you are still here choosing what you want life to be.
People get so used to the discomfort, that when it begins to subside they chase it, for it has become habitual cycles of chaos.
Will you remain in habitual cycles, or will you purposefully choose to keep or eliminate certain patterns? Kicking to the curb those things which are of not benefit for forward, positive movement is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.
I know … habits hook us and make it most difficult to let go. Sometimes only near death can help us with that. I am here to say I, for one, am grateful to still be living, and hope the shadows will not follow where it is I go … here, or there.
Life is intense. At times, the energy that flows through this mind and body is like an invisible fire! Brilliant flashes of human light.
We often fail to see we are the same. Woman blames man, man blames woman. People don’t yet seem to understand what they see in others is a reflection of what they see in themselves. They are always trying to fix the reflection, and not the origin of that reflection. (I do not talk of the blatant importation of those who do violence).
I close my eyes and I see a large black orb, possibly some sort of huge metallic-like sphere. I see it being covered by a sheet-like blanket of flowers, trees, plants and other life forms. Water runs through this ‘covering’ also and things grow.
“The earth laughs in flowers”.
My question is, “Are we who we say we are?”
Somebody’s been hard at work building neural-synaptic connections and pathways in the human mind. ALL people are spoon fed a certain set of scenarios from birth, altering the potential for other thought.
Are we our surroundings? Are we limited to the circumstances in which we are born? Or do we choose to alter the pre-programmed, manipulated thought patterns we were given from a young age? Change your thinking, change your mind, change your life.
The future is built from choices made today. If these choices are made out of fear, then the future will be built upon fear. Rather, make conscious choice to build the future based on decisions coming from a place of love, compassion and care … for self, embraced by peaceful intention.
Being aware of different ‘cycles’ of communication while not getting intertwined with the ‘story’ is key to understanding any situation. Observation is crucial in order to make a decision based on knowledge, rather than the emotion these different ‘cycles’ can bring up. There is no need to understand the story (often these stories are not understandable anyway), only what the cycles are, if they change, or if it is a repetitive way of being.
Make a choice. Do the cycles you find yourself enmeshed in cause you joy, or frustration? I’ve heard that if the frustration outweighs the possibilities of something worse, one should just live with it. Hhhmmmm … living with a constant state of frustration doesn’t sound all that appealing. It certainly is not all that healthy either.
This is an example of making decisions based on fear … fear of “what if”. What if it’s the wrong decision? Perhaps the crap isn’t as crappy as it feels. What if what comes after leaves one feeling even crappier?
Life … in this current awareness, we have one. Sure, a person could stay in a frustrating or abusive situation out of fear of the unknown. A person may start to dislike themselves for not having the courage to face their fears. The heart begins to wither, self-worth deteriorates, and then comes self-harming habits … drinking too much, or anything else that could cause further damage. Then death arrives and the obvious comes to mind … You haven’t even lived, or even tried.
Just the thought of this is depressing!
Action, or inaction. Choice is always ours. Action can be put into motion, or stagnation and a drowning in the norm can be. You have probably already experienced your soul screaming for change at one point or another. I know I have, and it’s happening right now.