Change

All posts in the Change category

Seeking Answers

Published December 16, 2018 by tindertender

If you tell me the truth perhaps we can move forward and experience something other than what we have been.

“It’s too soon.”

This is something I will trust, as I have seen and experienced in the past your knowledge of ‘good timing’ far surpasses mine.

While I would resign myself to this experience, instead I realize I have the power of choice. While you refuse to share your truth with me I will move forward seeking truth in other arenas. This is my choice, promoted by yours.

I have a question … when will it not be too soon? When it is too late?

How does an empath learn to read or sense energy that is attached to them as well as energy coming off of a physical person? Even though this energy, which is attached, can feel and sense all that the physical and mental body feels and senses, they seem to put up a barrier so they themselves cannot be read. Or they merge so thoroughly, it is difficult to determine what is theirs, and what belongs.

“Y7” ~ Everything points to this meaning “year seven” usually pertaining to children in their 7th year. In 2015 I was given message that 8 years were going to go by quickly. I have no idea what this means for certain. Some say it, (2023), will be the second coming of Christ. During a shamanic drumming meditation I attended this year, I was seated next to a woman who had been studying with her (now deceased) grandmother in Brazil, who’s spirit told her to attend this meeting. When I mentioned my ‘message’ she told me that she had been told the year would be 2022 … which makes it Y7 from 2015, when I first received my message. Perhaps this is why we were both 10 minutes late, ushered in and seated next to each other in the back of the room.

“558” ~ “It is time to step into your own power and pursue the life and lifestyle that you choose.” Number 5 represents wisdom and knowledge (x2, since it is doubled here) while number 8 represents eternity. 558 is also “a reminder to honor your word, and be who you claim you are inside and out.”

Is Creator a sadist/masochist? Who else would want to bond with, and experience a traumatic entry (birth) and a traumatic exit (death) all the while experiencing pain, and love, over and over again? Only someone who is in love with giving and receiving pain, over and over times billions of lives, thousands of times every single day.

Perhaps it is two opposing forces, in battle over life. One pouring pain into the world, the other countering it with love and periodic experiences of complete peace. This trade in energies … the pain giver stepping all over the minds and life of humanity, while the one who wishes to give peace steers clear of over-riding the will of humanity, instilling faith in ones own abilities and strengths instead.

Doesn’t seem like a very fair fight, especially when most of humanity does not participate in the ‘balancing’ of the ‘life force energies’, instead being dragged to pain, and then given healing, over and over. It seems the average mind cannot fathom they hold the power to say yes or no to these energies which mold their minds daily.

Amnesia upon entry into this world is placed upon the memory of each life. It is given for if people remembered how it felt to hurt, or be hurt, they would stop. The ‘powers that be’ do not seem to want people to stop, it seems part of the unseen may thrive on this chaos which perpetuates, generation, after generation.

Those on the outside, looking in, who may or may not be attached to energies of physical body, or that of the world, do not experience amnesia. They experience the birth, the life including all traumas, and death x millions, world-wide … and they remember it all. There are some who cry tremendous tears for they cannot seem to stop the experience, and try as they might to bring peace to a troubled world, people keep hurting each other, and they keep experiencing this trauma with no relief, or forgetfulness to dull the pain.

The ending of pain is a choice humanity must make, conscious, aware choice … and then act upon it. I have faith that this is possible, and will be the end result, for I see the shift happening everywhere I look.

Hidden In Plain Sight

Published December 13, 2018 by tindertender

Form becomes smooth once more. Regeneration is always a mind blow. 

Isn’t it interesting … the minds of humanity are gripped tight by a presence so near it is barely perceptible, and only if one trains their self to notice, or should tragedy throw them there.

Skulls in forest

Suddenly, things are seen and heard which were hidden before … hidden in plain sight.

Mini candy bars keep getting smaller and smaller, while fewer are in each bag, and the price continues to hike. Toilet paper rolls have fewer sheets while the price climbs. Cans of food have gone from 15 oz to 14.5 oz and the price is more. These are just a few of the sneaky rip-offs we’ve been handed.

I am curious to know if there is a recipe for home-made marshmallows.

Often we look outside our self for answers. The Universe conspires to give them, should one really pay attention. Speaking of …

Beautiful, yummy marshmallows

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/homemade-marshmallows-51152000

A time comes when the obvious will be known, and the known, plain for what it truly is.

Have people really wanted a ‘forever’ anything? It seems not. Most things nowadays are disposable, not created to last through many decades. It isn’t clear whether this is simply a marketing scheme which forces the continued purchasing of items, or if people simply do not want the same thing for decades.

Renewal seems to be the trend. While ‘renewal’ of the mind is a very good thing, cheaply made items which must be thrown out frequently is not such a prosperous thing … for the average person … for the scammer of countries it is quite a different matter.

With the purchase comes power. Figuring out how to exit this system of waste, of not participating in the robbery of people and the destruction of the earth can be difficult. The last couple generations have been accustomed to the ‘disposable’. Breaking that habit will not be easy, but is necessary, just the same.

Let us be rid of disposable items, disposable relationships, disposable anything … let us bring back the idea of that which is good being cherished, for life.

Breaking Free

What Is Your Breaking Point?

Published December 9, 2018 by tindertender

What is your breaking point?

What have you done when you’ve arrived there?

My breaking point came a few times in this life. The last one actually nearly cost my physical life, it surely did cause a ‘rebirth’ in my spiritual life, and a complete shift in the way I think and live.

Strength is born out of these times, when the world seems to crash down on our heads. It isn’t uncommon for a person to fall, then swim in the affects of previous actions. It can seem like drowning, dying, or make us wish we would, and sometimes that is exactly what happens.

For those times a person is able to crawl out of that deep well into the light of day once more they will find that a portion of them is left behind. That portion of them which caused the fall in the first place is shed, and newness is birthed to fill the space left from its removal.

Falling enough times, or falling so deep, and then the fight that ensues to come back to light, is indeed a rebirth … you may not even recognize yourself. You may find that many others will tell you, “This isn’t the you I remember.” Embrace it … especially if the layers of pain, which perpetuated pain I this world, are left behind.

Be bold in the creation of a new you … society no longer dictates who you will be … YOU do. This is your story now.

Sharing Is Caring

Published December 3, 2018 by tindertender

The tavern, bar, pub – whatever you call it, wherever you are, it is a place of sorrow, loneliness, anger, frustration and pain wearing a mask of happiness. I know, for I spent some time there, surrounded by others who were experiencing what I was also.

It seemed that life was a series of running to the edge, pushing limits as far as possible, testing them to see just how far I could go without going over the edge, until I did. At that time I met many others who had transitioned and were still in such a place, in shadows. They were seeking help to be free of it. I sat with them and asked them to explain why they were there, and the answer came from one with authority, “Because they are too bad”.

I’ve been thinking of this recently, examining my own life. Often when people find themselves trapped in the cycle of cruelty, receiving it, or giving it, it is because they themselves are suffering and in pain. Most will never admit it if they dare to look deep into their hearts, they’ll instead act tough and continue the cycle, creating hurt wherever they go, sometimes not even aware they are doing it, it becomes second nature.

Alcohol … it is poison and is only good as a disinfectant, or use in making tinctures for medicine in combination with nature’s finest herbs. It was never meant to be utilized as has become the norm. At least this is my inner conclusion when I sit with my senses.

I also understand that those in these places, on earth and in the shadow land, for the most part are not bad people, or spirits. They are suffering, a pain that cannot be comprehended for they are too close to it for understanding. Often it is a trauma that either takes their life and sends them beyond, or snaps their minds out of the cycle so they are able to see clearly once more, or at least then have opportunity to study the past and work toward making sense of the experiences.

Atoning for pain sent into the world … how does one do it? I compare it to all of the cigarette butts I threw out as a smoker. Young, never understanding the concept of biodegradable … heck, that word only recently came into my awareness, within the last decade. When I walk in the forest and see them I pick them up, one by one, and hope that I’ll be able to pick up as many, and hopefully more, than what I threw out over time, garbage too … cups, wrappers …

This is the time to prove to myself, and any benevolent spirits who are watching, that I can be as good at creating peace and loving and compassion in this world as I ever was at creating turmoil. My hope once again is that I will create more loving memories and good feelings than I ever did the opposite, being a powerful contributor for positive experience for all.

There is indeed much suffering in shadow land while they continue to live in the cycle they left behind on this earth. The good thing is there is still opportunity to make choice, to set the beer down, to remain in the corner and just watch … rather than participate. And hopefully there will come a time when they will be able to walk out of that dingy place into the light of day, warm, and free.

There needs to be an overall healing of soul before this can happen. Admitting there’s an issue, seeing it for the first time, studying the behaviors, what caused them in the first place and learn how to undo the knots that were tied in the heart of spirit. The desire to change must come first, usually preceded by a tiredness of hearing oneself say and do the same old things, over and over again, having the same experiences.

Of course there will be those who cannot face the trauma. They have felt alone their whole existence and buried their sorrow in drink, or in drug, or some other thing that took the mind off that pain. Too often people replace pain with a different pain, rather than doing the hard work to heal.

Sure it’s easy to shout out and blame someone else, it is easy to snarl and frown and throw our pain in the face of others, too hurt and immersed in the core of it to notice or care that we are potentially putting others where we currently stand … and then they too will need to try and climb out of that pit. Exacerbation … continuing cycles … of our choosing.

I ask Spirit why they kept saving me, why is it so important that I remain living. It could be that I needed to find my way, to share the experience and perhaps help someone who is looking for a way out themselves.

Talk is talk, I can share my experience but whoever wants betterment must walk the walk, no one can walk it for them. I am still on my own journey.

Oh yes, I’ve experienced what some call ‘tough love’ and I’ve also experienced a lack of love, and fortunately through it all there has been support, mostly from the unseen. You can say I have a family so big even I am unaware of its vast nature, or you can say it is my inner fortitude. Either way, whatever way, if it is not hurting anyone, including yourself, and if it works, giving you strength to rise, it is perfect.

Negative self talk: it begins with others views and opinions of us. We hear them and we may believe them, or not. If not, and the same criticisms are repeated enough, it becomes rote, the little pathways in the mind are set. The memories of the words live there and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Depression or anxiety or complete self destruction can occur, a breakdown.

These words, these memories of what others have told you, they do not belong to you … release them, give them to your ancestors who have come before you, anyone who you know loves you in the Spirit realms, or send them back to the people who gave them to you.

Retrain your mind. When a memory of drama or trauma begins to spin in your consciousness, recognize it, acknowledge it, and determine what it is you will allow to be there. Override that memory with something beautiful, positive, supportive and loving. Every time … do this, and you will find that the old ‘thought highways’ in your mind disappear and new paths are made, ones you’ve personally chosen, ones that affirm and support the Divinity in you. Claim your Sovereignty.

Habits are learned through training. We accept them from others, we incorporate them into our life trying to ‘fit in’ or ‘gain approval’, perhaps searching for that which we’ve never had before. Habits are also meant to be broken, every single one of them. In so doing we train our mind (some call it ego). We let it know that our higher consciousness is in charge and will only allow what is personally deemed acceptable.

Honestly, I know it’s hard, seemingly impossible. Many have died without even trying, or without even being aware of the possibility to lay claim to their own authority.

You are the only one you will spend the rest of your life with. Become the love of your life, not in arrogance, but as someone who is cherished as the most important being in your world. From this place, a great gift of compassion can be shared with others.

It is not an easy task. Some quit, thinking it easier to drown out the pain with substance. But it is so worth it … gift yourself, yourself. Love you like you deserve to be loved, like you have always deserved to be loved. Fill up your heart and mind so full of this love that it spills over into the world … it is going to be so beautiful! You’ll be amazed at what begins to show up in your life when you’ve done this work.

Made In The Image Of ‘Them’

Published November 28, 2018 by tindertender

The story that has been given to humanity about themselves begins by saying they were made in the image of them, the ‘Gods’. It then leads the reader into the theory that there is but one god. We are a walking oxy-moron, in a world of polar opposites.

You tell me I must. I tell you that you are not allowed to order me. You say you like me, I tell you that you are not permitted to go there. I rebel. You order me, I order you … difference being you don’t seem to acknowledge me.

I laugh because we are all sounding a bit crazy, how can we not, given the bounce within duality. Our consciousness is continuously pulled left, then right, for life with few reprieves. Observation, testing of limits, discussion, interruption, good, bad, free, caged, hungry, full, cold, hot.

This is NOT how any of this was supposed to be.

IF it comes down to minds of life being attacked, may a HUGE boulder drop upon the attackers, may it permeate the essence of their being, all of them who have ever perpetrated injury on this earth and the life it holds. May this boulder then crumble into dust, falling to the ground becoming the soil upon which humanity and all other forms of life walk upon for the remainder of days.

Morbid? Maybe, but no more so than what we see in the world today … and I meant every word of it. Perhaps in this, I would seal my fate.

Should the time come when I am no longer able to type, or speak … should there come a time where I am personally attacked, I will focus on the visual of this boulder and I will create it strongly in my mind. If my body should quit me during this time, this is the visual, the creation I will take with me into the unseen … and I hope it manifests into the seen.

I see men, naked, sitting on the snow in circle. They are wrapped in a thin, white, wet sheet, it is dark and their sheets are steaming. The energy, the focus they put into creating warmth from within is the focus I will put into practice at this time should it arise.

Distraction happens every moment of every day. Whether it comes from outside, or from inside, makes no difference. This is a play for the mind of mankind.

Why are you looking at me like that?

This life experiment has gone rogue, yet no one notices … almost no one. Seen, unseen, wet, dry, known, unknown, quiet, noisy … render my mind in two. Oh wait … it already is, HA! Duality is everywhere!

I wonder if it is you they hear while you pretend to be dead people … relatives or friends, sending ‘messages’. Some think you are God and upon instruction harm themselves or others … they cannot seem to break free of the hooks you give their mind.

I could have chosen to play meek, to be small, but instead I have lived loudly. In fact, I have lived so loudly I attracted the presence of those who can’t be seen, by me anyway … and now they cannot seem to stop talking ‘about me’. Who knew being popular would be so annoying.

All right there buddy. Can you breathe?

How is it that the bad guys always seems to win, while the good guys die in their wars?

Making dust … that’s why I’m here. Same yet changed. This is the last time.

Have you become desensitized? Have you been told you have attitude? Have you asked, “What attitude”? I suppose that anyone who perceives people as ‘not doing what they wish them to’ would describe the rebels as those with ‘attitude’ … I hope you are blessed with this dilemma. It means you have not yet been converted.

So many people in this life have said, “It’s not all about you”, but have been proven wrong. The entire Universe does indeed revolve around each individual from the point at which they are.

The human brain, from day one, hears words. The words that are heard most frequently become the adult vocabulary … like an ‘organic’ computer.

Blessed … why do you doubt?

432: Cohesion is mentioned by number 432. This is the act of standing together against adversity … Let everyone put their differences aside … if we want to create a system that works then unity is inevitable.

https://www.sunsigns.org/angel-number-432-meaning/

Reality vs Belief … Embracing Change

Published November 24, 2018 by tindertender

Messages were received in musical format last night, two that gently woke me and another right after rising.

“You have to ‘believe’ how you feel.” This phrase was accompanied by song, and although I cannot seem to locate it, I have found one which seems to fit nicely.

I half way stumble into the kitchen to feed the dogs while another song begins to play in my mind. As confusing as life is, I choose to believe in Love, at all times.

When a person experiences trauma, which we all do to varying degrees, it disrupts the ability to maintain faith in love and compassion for those who suffer, even while suffering takes on the shape of abuse.

The highest form of trust for what is, what is being uncovered, and for what will remain once we get through these trials, is the vigilance of belief in inherent goodness and care which dwells in each life.

This world works diligently to squash hope, but these trials are also what allows hope to thrive. While hope thrives, love survives, blooming just under the surface much of the time, yet it is there just the same. The flower of it will break the surface in the most unexpected ways, and the most unexpected time.

The key is to remain open for the opportunity to see love bloom, rise, and shine … pain makes one want to close down, to put up barriers … but don’t do it, for if you shut out pain, you’ll also shut out opportunity to see the most fantastic display of love, ever.

Cultivate resilience in the face of that which aims to rend your heart in pieces. As you stand straighter, gaining understanding that not all things which bring pain are done so in a ‘personal’ manner … that the other parties are battling their own struggles and at times it gets on people, especially those closest to them (to us).

No one is immune to the process. We will all experience pain, and we will all give pain to others, intentionally or not. We are more alike than we care to admit … where can we find compassion in these circumstances?

Great strength is in those who have capacity to forgive and continue living with care and love in their hearts rather than retaliate, or becoming that which has spewed a layer of shadowy darkness upon them, stealing their light for a time.

I suppose in this sense it would truly be as though each of us currently ‘walk in the valley of the shadow of death’. Every step we take in life has the possibility of becoming infected with this gloom, harmed by those in the midst of it, and the ‘unfairness’ of it all.

Imagine the spiritual integrity and strength each person will have within them after being forged in this fire within the shadow of death. Imagine yourself growing more firm of character, compassion building within you for all others who are, who have, and who will, experience the same or similar trauma as you yourself have.

Imagine the great healing shared by those who have experienced suffering when they begin to coat the injuries of others with the learned healing techniques and understanding they’ve developed throughout their trials.

People do not need to hole up and become small, safety is not in a compact singular package. Safety and strength come in sharing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves with each other, and helping each other heal. Growing stronger through each ordeal. Maintaining hope despite those who would strip it away. Allowing love to flow through the broken parts of the mind and heart, rather than shrinking, atrophying and dying.

Know this … there are those who love unconditionally, freely, openly … even when you cannot see them. Listen for the music, for the messages, for the signs. If these things are of love and support, it is about goodness. If these things are angry and encourage you to become a volcano of unchecked emotions which have potential to harm, then it seeks to place more chaos in the world.

Power is in choice.
Choice is yours, always.

Circumstances may occur of which we did not choose. However our thoughts around that event, circumstance or situation will always be our choice. Mind over matter, conscious awareness over mind.

Time Ticking Away

Published November 21, 2018 by tindertender

Summer of 2002 came and went and from that time to now has been a battle to claim the life I had ‘before’. Now, so near to it once more, I ask myself seriously, “What was life like ‘before’?

Subtle … trauma after trauma, events which crushed the spirit, time after time. Three and a half decades of this and a spiral into darkness, coming to the conclusion I had lost faith in humanity. Then, change … drastic change. Change which was manipulative, yet in a different way than previously experienced. Naive, I didn’t fight it … at first. Nearly two decades later and a little more sense can be made of it, or so it seems.

Humans, our minds are so pliable. From nearly day one we are taught to follow suggestions, or direction. Opinions, suspicions, beliefs, and fears of others are weaved into our persona, it is done by other humans we see, and influencers outside of time.

Many people go through life thinking of their “guardian angel” and relatives and pets who have transitioned. They believe God has given each of us a guide, a protector, and a comforter in our times of need. I am one of those people. Awareness has been given that there are others who do not have our best interests in mind.

The mind cannot be silenced by ‘willing’ it to be. Training takes place to remain calm while many thoughts flow, becoming the observer only, just watching the thoughts. Bed time is a perfect example for prime time to practice. When the discharge of many thoughts refuses to end its flow, a deep breathing must begin, focused on the in-breath and the out-breath. Soon the nervous system calms and relaxation occurs making sleep possible.

This is very good practice. You can’t call it ‘mind over matter’ for the mind was chaos made still, by focused, conscious effort to slow the entire system. Does this mean then that it is ‘matter over mind’? I think that is an obvious NO. Well then, it must be ‘conscious and aware effort, or allowing, over mind’.

We see then that ‘mind over matter’ is topped and surpassed by ‘conscious and aware application over mind’.

What is the source of this application used to still the mind? What portion of life which I currently call mine is capable of observing the chaos of mind and then altering it, as it flits from one thought form to the next? It resides ‘outside’ of mind, or ‘thought’ … it simply IS.

Back to the original topic … what began in this life as a hidden (yet obvious) disruption of happiness, then became an open attack on the very fabric of existence. The latter was believed to be 1,000 times worse than anything experienced before. But just now I look at it from the present moment, and I see they are the same … in the beginning it felt real bad and no explanation could be given for it, later explanation seemed obvious, but now …

Is it even possible to experience evil, followed by a lesser evil? Or is it simply the same, just with varying characteristics? It could be that one portion determined to orchestrate and manipulate a circumstance for a desired outcome. It could be a portion broke away, not really wanting to go there, but these ‘methods’ of making things happen are all they know, not aware fully that it is still same-o, same-o.

One would not call a dog a cat, but if both had rabies and wanted to suck on a jugular, both would need to be put down. A plum would not be called a pear unless the two were spliced together to create a hybrid, which cannot be replicated through seed, for it is not ‘natural’.

I guess what I’m saying is that opposites seem to be necessary (I can theorize it is for full experience of diversity) and when things are made to be the same, or meshed, or joined together via disease, or force, or some weird scientific experiment … it just isn’t going to be successful in the long run.

As a younger person, full of power the body’s composition is blessed with, the forces of the world can knock a soul for a loop and it may not be understood what happened. Later, when it seems to be obvious, the only questions are, “What is evil, what is good, who is for, who is against, and why.”

There may never be enough time to know. Especially if no effort is made to gather ‘intel’, in all fields, in all relationships, in all experiences, including those of ones own heart and mind.

Given that time is quickening, there isn’t time to waste.

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