Care

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Giving & Receiving ~ Can Be SO HARD

Published June 27, 2018 by tindertender
emily-goodhart-527188-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Emily Goodhart

Abundance calls for giving, and that is what I did. I brought gifts for her, and him … I was told to be careful, or his wife would get jealous … I looked at her and gave her smile and a hug and asked that she not do that.

I remember the days when this would would happen to me … I would be suspicious of people when they were ‘too nice’. And so when I heard this it made me sad, for when people cannot accept genuine care without hooks or need of return, then the world becomes a sad and lonely place, suspicious of everyone and everything … essentially, what you see today.

I understand what is happening for I’ve worn the shoes of both aspects. I’ve been jealous, and yet I long to give, no strings attached. Jealousy usually comes from insecurity, in having the need for love, and not exactly trusting in that love.

When someone comes along with gifts and a smile, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than you’ve finally met someone who wishes to share and make life a little better. Someone who, by their actions, wishes to assist in the improvement of life in the whole of the world.

It can be difficult to trust when there has been so much hurt given. Shutting out kindness not only shuts out possibility for more hurt, but it closes the door to friendship, to care, to the ‘lifting’ of each other.

We must shed past habits of defense, to embrace sharing and caring, giving of ourselves to each other without strings … it’s the only way to heal.

Not everything is an attempt at theft … often, it is only an attempt of giving … receiving can be so hard.

“Humans are addicted to the illusion of separation. We fall for it constantly. We must protect ourselves from harm, but we are not separate from the fate of others. We are bound, relentlessly so, to one another. Harm to one is harm to the whole.”

Trigger … 

Published May 15, 2018 by tindertender

“Go ahead … do it … no one has the right to judge you, well, almost no one.”
… as they shove a picture of Satan eating the brains of a person in front of you.

Reminding someone of error which occurred decades ago will not heal anyone, or anything. People making these judgments of others never see the details behind their actions, completely lacking compassion & understanding about surrounding circumstances or state of mind.

Past actions cannot ever be changed, yet that does not stop a person from living, from learning, from trying to repay … life, society … whoever, whatever … for the wrong. It does not stop them from learning … perhaps learning what they were never taught before mistakes were made, before realizing the sacredness of all that is.

I think of the boy who lit a forest on fire. I hear the memories of words said by those who rallied for his … and his families … extreme punishment. I think to myself that this young man has potential to be the biggest advocate for the forests in his future … if only someone would teach him the sacredness of the earth, the forests, the life that dwells there. Properly coached, he may develop a passion for protecting and nurturing the growth of the forest and that which depends on it for living. He could come into a fierce passion for creating health in the world. His error in no way seals his fate as a destroyer. Those who attempt to put him in that box for life are criminal.

shelby-miller-653562-unsplash
Photo by Shelby Miller

The same can be said of other situations. As a young person I smoked. I tossed out the cigarette butts not once thinking of the harm I was doing. I did not know the filters do not deteriorate. I thought the sweeper truck would get them. Today, when walking in the forest or park I make it a point to pick up those that I see. I wish to pick up as many as I threw out, and then some … flipping the scale to the positive.

I used to practice verbal war. I had a tongue so sharp it would leave people stammering not knowing how to respond, speechless. That was angry me. Today, my goal is to be just as kind (and then some) as I was cruel. I truly do not have any desire to harm anyone. Honestly I never did, however being lost in pain and the darkness of anger, it happened.

This does not mean I’ve decided to be a push-over … far from it.

Realizing how much care for the world dwells in the heart after a life of anger and pain is refreshing. The desire to expand this is intense. Yet there will always be those who throw the past in the face and place judgement, stating no good could ever come from one who did harm. They are liars … and they ought not be allowed to make “I AM” statements for anyone other than themselves. If they do … it is only because they feel a sense of superiority over others, and this will lead to trouble for them.

So massage the trigger. Recognize it for what it is. Affirm the statement you, and you alone, make for your future and the contribution you will give. Stand alone if you must, but be true to you and shed that which brings you suffering … in doing so, your imprint of suffering in the world will recede and something more beautiful will begin to grow.

It is far from easy, especially when there are people telling you how horrible they believe you are. Drown out their voices and tell yourself the truth, the truth that only you know … and it is usually never what others plant in your mind. Count the blessings, there are many, none less than the other no matter how small. Make a list in your mind of the things you are grateful for. A shift will happen, and forward progress will become easier … every time.

Together, Great Indeed

Published April 16, 2018 by tindertender

The internal world of each individual is intense, often so intense all else pales in comparison. In love we may feel our inner fire pouring out into the one we have such affection for, we may wonder how they cannot be affected by it. In pain we may wonder why others do not seem to notice how we suffer. All the while the undeniable force of our emotions prohibits us from noticing that others are going through the exact same scenario.

Feelings of insignificance can overwhelm us sometimes while we are busy feeling our way through life. We look into the world and see people laughing and wonder why it just doesn’t seem that fun to us. We wonder if it is a false happy, we wonder if it is a trick, we wonder if somehow we’ve been cheated and left to suffer in this world while others thrive.

It is said that mankind is made in Gods image. If that is true, and this planet is the only one which can support life as we know it, then He better get busy, for it looks like His creation is intent on destroying this wonder. All the angels and disembodied persons who would like to give it another go ought to practice sending peaceful intentions to the people so they calm the heck down. But then, maybe to them, we are insignificant … maybe this is why so many people feel the power of that emotion which has them convinced this is truth.

They say they are looking for the key … the key to eternal bliss. It has been said that once it is recognized all that remains is to simply ‘let it be’. The minds (or should I say, consciousness) that are not capable of peace will never attain the key to eternal bliss, for they bicker among themselves constantly. They leave no room for quiet, for stillness.

People helping peopleThe questions always arise: Is this the one? Will you help me help we? Is there enough time to turn it around? Is it possible to save the world? Does true love exist?

Truthfully, unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and begin to reach out and connect with each other, we will not be able to come to the realization that we are all very much alike, experiencing very much the same things. Once we understand this, it will be so much easier to care about each other beyond the superficial fancy.

I Am You, You Are Me ~ WE must work together to bring healing to this world. If we were created by the fine stuff which is Divine and supreme, then perhaps it is us who must pool our resources in order to save the earth. Rather than waiting for a miracle, we ought to recognize that WE are that miracle. ALL of us, none greater than the other, yet together, great indeed.

Tender Care

Published March 30, 2018 by tindertender

full moon and waterToday I was able to leave work a little early. I stopped by the local pizza parlor for 2 to go. Dinner was at 4pm and then I laid down for a nap. Ahhhh sweet relaxation. To have the ability to just lay down and sleep when one is sleepy is so nice. I woke at 6:30pm and had ice cream, this too is so nice, as now there is plenty of time left in the day to digest it before laying down once more.

It is time for the Full Blue Moon, March 31st. You may be feeling a little “Moonstruck” also. Remember to care for yourself this Easter holiday. You deserve the tender thoughtfulness that only you can gift yourself.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/it-must-be-the-moon-tired/
https://www.space.com/40133-blue-moon-2018-paschal-moon-for-easter.html

Can’t Be Said Enough

Published March 7, 2018 by tindertender

Human beings

“Refugee,” “homeless,” “losers,” “failures,” “bum,” “hippie,” “addict,” “retard,” “weird”…These are all terms that refer to one thing – a human being – but they are used to separate us from each other. If we saw everyone has a human being, then we wouldn’t be so quick to turn a blind eye to the suffering.  #NoMoreLabels  #WeAreAllHuman

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