Queen of “Jiffra Matter”

Published September 29, 2020 by tindertender

She looked fabulous with her long wavy hair, dressed in skin tight pants, she looks lovely in black.

She hangs out in dark places, with people who do the same. I asked if I could join them awhile.

Upon exiting the “bar” to go to the next, we found my car had been smashed into … a complete wreck. Upon closer look, I mentioned it wasn’t even my car, but she took the keys and started what was left of the motor …. hahaha, anyone with skills can do that … it wasn’t my car.

As we walked along, to the next bar, she recorded me a message … to eat a lot of jiffra matter and produce lots of shit.

She had a great accent, perfect hair, a nice body …. no one would ever guess she is the Queen of Shit.

Hanginging out in shitty places where shitty things happen, instructing people on how to behave in shitty manners and even on how to go about producing shitty fecal matter!

I had no idea the Queen of Shit would be so glamorous.

I wonder why she chose to hang out with me.

Could it be she thinks of me as shit?

Well, no thank you beautiful lady.

I’m changing my diet.

You’ll have to collect shit somewhere else.

Tomorrow after work I think I’ll take her someplace a little more my style … where the light shines brightly, the fresh breezes blow, and the only shit around is that which people actually pick up that their favorite four legged companions drop … the canine.

I will smile from ear to ear as I imagine her walking by my side, in shock at the brightness and purity of it.

Perhaps I’ll offer her some of an orange I’ll bring along to snack on.

Photo: https://unsplash.com/@krivitskiy

Update: I had the perfect avocado and roma tomato on plant based pita chips followed by a purple plum and a bit of lemon ginger kombucha for lunch. Yum, and I still feel all light and fluffy!! Hahahaha.

Still might do the orange snack later …

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